Swingers (1996 film) Quotes

Swingers (1996 film) is a television program that first aired in 1970 . Swingers completed its run in 1970.

It features Victor Simpkins as producer, Justin Reinhardt in charge of musical score, and Doug Liman as head of cinematography.

Swingers (1996 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Swingers (1996 film) is 96 minutes long. Swingers (1996 film) is distributed by Miramax.

The cast includes: Vince Vaughn as Trent, Jon Favreau as Mike, Ron Livingston as Rob, Brooke Langton as Nikki, Patrick Van Horn as Sue, Alex Désert as Charles, and Heather Graham as Lorraine.

Swingers (1996 film) Quotes

Vince Vaughn as Trent

• (Vince Vaughn) "Look at this, okay? I want you to remember this face, here. Okay? This is the guy behind the guy behind the guy."

• (Vince Vaughn) "Everybody steals from everybody, that's Hollywood."

• (Vince Vaughn) "Y'know, it's not so much me as Roenick; he's good."

• (Vince Vaughn) "Our baby's all grown up."

• (Vince Vaughn) "Vegas, baby. Vegas."

• (Vince Vaughn) "I wish they still had fights in this game so I could bitch-slap Wayne."
• (Jon Favreau) "What? They don't have fighting anymore?"
• (Vince Vaughn) "Doesn't that suck?"
• (Jon Favreau) "Why'd they get rid of the fighting? It was the best part of the old version."
• (Patrick Van Horn) "I think kids were hittin' each other or somethin', man."
• (Vince Vaughn) "Yeah but you know what, Mike? You can make their heads bleed in this one."
• (Jon Favreau) "Make somebody's head bleed."
• (Patrick Van Horn) "No man, we're in the playoffs."

• (Vince Vaughn) "I'm gonna make Gretzky's head bleed for super fan 99 over here."

• (Vince Vaughn) "All right, all right I'll ask her. Miss, miss. Do you know where the high school girls hang out around here? What? What? That's right, I'm the asshole. I'm the asshole."

• (Vince Vaughn) "Score Chicago."
• (Patrick Van Horn) "f***. Such f***in' bulls***."
• (Vince Vaughn) "Now that was pretty Sue --"
• (Patrick Van Horn) "Man, don't do the instant replay thing --"
• (Vince Vaughn) "No way, you said it was f***in' bulls***."
• (Patrick Van Horn) "Don't do the f***ing --"
• (Vince Vaughn) "Well that's why they put the instant replay in the f***ing game. So you can see if it's bulls***."
• (Patrick Van Horn) "You're unbelieveable."
• (Vince Vaughn) "Well you know something, I am unbelievable."
• (Patrick Van Horn) "Don't f***ing touch me."
• (Vince Vaughn) "When I'm not here will you practice?"

• (Vince Vaughn) "Oh Mikey you don't want all that "Pirates Of The Caribbean" horses***, or the "Rock and Roll Grunge Tip". Guys like you and me gotta kick it here, old school."
• (Jon Favreau) "Oh this is definitely 'old school'. This place is dead."

• (Vince Vaughn) "I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's really hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man, Mikey. You're a bad man, bad man."

• (Vince Vaughn) "To the ladies?"
• (Jon Favreau) "To the ladies."

• (Vince Vaughn) "There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know that you're money and that you want to party."

• (Vince Vaughn) "You know what you are? You're like a big bear with claws and with fangs --"
• (Patrick Van Horn) "-- big f***ing teeth, man."
• (Vince Vaughn) "Yeah -- big f***in' teeth on ya'. And she's just like this little bunny, who's just kinda cowering in the corner."
• (Patrick Van Horn) "Shivering."
• (Vince Vaughn) "Yeah, man just kinda -- you know, you got these claws and you're staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself, and with these claws you're thinking, "How am I supposed to kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny?""
• (Patrick Van Horn) "And you're poking at it, you're poking at it --"
• (Vince Vaughn) "Yeah, you're not hurting it. You're just kinda gently batting the bunny around, you know what I mean? And the bunny's scared Mike, the bunny's scared of you, shivering."
• (Patrick Van Horn) "And you got these f***ing claws and these fangs --"
• (Vince Vaughn) "And you got these f***ing claws and these fangs, man. And you're looking at your claws and you're looking at your fangs. And you're thinking to yourself, you don't know what to do, man. "I don't know how to kill the bunny." With this you don't know how to kill the bunny, do you know what I mean?"
• (Patrick Van Horn) "You're like a big bear, man."
• (Jon Favreau) "So you're not just like f***ing with me?"
• (Vince Vaughn) "No I'm not f***ing with you."
• (Patrick Van Horn) "Honestly, man."

• (Vince Vaughn) "Um -- a malt Glen Garry for me and my friend here. And if you tell that bartender to go extra easy on the water, this 50 cent piece has your name on it."

• (Vince Vaughn) "You're so money and you don't even know it."

• (Vince Vaughn) "Hey. What're you kicking me for? You want me to ask? All right, I'll ask. Ma'am, where do the high school girls hang out in this town?"

• (Vince Vaughn) "All I do is stare at their mouths and wrinkle my nose, and I turn out to be a sweetheart."

• (Vince Vaughn) "Excuse me darling. I'm sorry. Wow. I want you to remember this face here, OK, this is the guy behind the guy behind the guy."

• (Vince Vaughn) "I'm gonna find me two waitresses here and I'm gonna pull me a Fredo."
• (Jon Favreau) "Yeah, well they're all skanks."
• (Vince Vaughn) "What are talking about? Look at all the beautiful babies here."
• (Jon Favreau) "The beautiful babies don't work the midnights-to-six on a Wednesday. This is the skank shift."
• (Vince Vaughn) "Look at all the beautiful honeys here."

• (Vince Vaughn) "Baby, that was money. Tell me that wasn't money."
• (Jon Favreau) "That was so demeaning."
• (Vince Vaughn) "She smiled, baby."
• (Jon Favreau) "I can't believe what an asshole you are."
• (Vince Vaughn) "Did she, or did she not smile."
• (Jon Favreau) "She was smiling at what an asshole you are."
• (Vince Vaughn) "She was smiling at how money I am, baby."

• (Vince Vaughn) "You take yourself out of the game, you start talking about puppy dogs and ice cream and of course it's going to end up on the friendship tip."

• (Vince Vaughn) "I'm the asshole is this place, right? I'm the asshole? I'm outta here. I'm not eating here -- I wouldn't eat here -- I'd never eat here anyway."

Ron Livingston as Rob

• (Ron Livingston) "They went with someone who had more theme-park experience."

• (Ron Livingston) "Why does it have to be Goofy? Why couldn't it be Mickey? Mickey's an icon."
• (Jon Favreau) "What do want? You're tall."

• (Ron Livingston) "So let me get this straight. The party started at eight. Why are we going to a bar at ten?"

• (Ron Livingston) "You don't look at the things that you have, you only look at the stuff that you don't have. Those guys are right about you; you're money."
• (Jon Favreau) "Then why won't she call?"
• (Ron Livingston) "She won't call because you left. she's got her own life to deal with, man, and that's in New York -- alright? And she's a sweet girl, and I love her to pieces, but f*** her, man. You gotta get on with your life. You gotta let go of the past. And Mikey, when you do, I'm telling you: the future is beautiful, alright? Look out the window. It's sunny every day here. It's like manifest destiny. Don't tell me we didn't make it. We made it. We are here. And everything that is past is prologued to this. All of the s*** that didn't kill us is only; you know, all that s***. You're gonna get over it."
• (Jon Favreau) "How did you get over it? I mean, how long did it take?"
• (Ron Livingston) "Sometimes it still hurts. You know how it is, man. It's like, you wake up every day and it hurts a little bit less, and then you wake up one day and it doesn't hurt at all. And the funny thing is, is that, this is kinda wierd, but it's like, it's like you almost miss that pain."
• (Jon Favreau) "You miss the pain?"
• (Ron Livingston) "Yeah, for the same reason that you missed her -- because you lived with it for so long."

• (Ron Livingston) "How many strokes?"
• (Jon Favreau) "I don't know. Eight or Nine."
• (Ron Livingston) "I'll give you an eight."
• (Jon Favreau) "What'd you get?"
• (Ron Livingston) "An eight."
• (Jon Favreau) "Looks like we're in a dead heat after one hole. This is turning into quite a rivalry."
• (Ron Livingston) "You better replace the pin, Chi-Chi. The natives look restless."

Jon Favreau as Mike

• (Jon Favreau) "Trent, the beautiful babies don't work the midnight to six shift on a Wednesday. This is like the skank shift."

• (Jon Favreau) "Hi, uh, Nikki, this is Mike. I met you at the, um, at the Dresden tonight. I just called to say that I had a great time -- and you should call me tomorrow, or in two days, whatever. Anyway, my number is 213-555-4679;"
• (Jon Favreau) "Hi, Nikki, this is Mike again. I just called cuz it sounded like your machine might've cut me off when I, before I finished leaving my number. Anyway, uh, and, y'know, and also, sorry to call so late, but you were still at the Dresden when I left so I knew I'd get your machine. Anyhow, uh, my number's 21;"
• (Jon Favreau) "213-555-4679. That's it. I just wanna leave my number. I didn't want you to think I was weird or desperate, or -- we should just hang out and see where it goes cuz it's nice and, y'know, no expectations. Ok? Thanks a lot. Bye bye."
• (Jon Favreau) "I just got out of a 6-year relationship, Ok? That should help explain why I'm acting so weird. I just wanted you to know that. It's not you, it's me. I'm sorry -- This is Mike."
• (Jon Favreau) "Hi, Nikki, this is Mike. Could you just call me when you get in? I'm gonna be up for awhile and I'd just rather speak to you in person instead of trying to fit it all into;"
• (Jon Favreau) "f***."
• (Jon Favreau) "Uh, Nikki? Mike. It's uh, uh, it's just, uh, this just isn't working out. I think you're great, but maybe we should just take some time off from each other. It's not you, it's me. It's what I'm going through, alright? It's uh -- it's only been 6 months --"
• (Brooke Langton) "Mike?"
• (Jon Favreau) "Nikki? Great. Did you just walk in or were you listening all along?"
• (Brooke Langton) "Don't ever call me again."
• (Jon Favreau) "Wow. I guess you're home."

• (Jon Favreau) "You shouldn't be sorry, you're a winner. I'm the f***ing loser. I'm the one who should be sorry."
• (Vince Vaughn) "Baby don't talk that way."
• (Jon Favreau) "Can we just go, please, can we go?"
• (Vince Vaughn) "Baby look at me, look at me. You're money, and you know what else? You're a big winner tonight."
• (Jon Favreau) "I want to leave."
• (Vince Vaughn) "You're a big winner. I'm gonna ask you a simple question and I want you to listen to me: who's the big winner here tonight at the casino? Huh? Mikey, that's who. Mikey's the big winner. Mikey wins."

• (Jon Favreau) "That was so f***ing money. That was like the Jedi mind-s***."

• (Jon Favreau) "I'll have a scotch on the rocks, please. Any scotch will do, as long as it's not a blend, of course. Single malt, Glen Livet, Glen Galley, perhaps, any Glen."

• (Jon Favreau) "Okay, so what if I don't want to give up on her?"
• (Ron Livingston) "You don't call."
• (Jon Favreau) "But you said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her."
• (Ron Livingston) "Right."
• (Jon Favreau) "So I don't call either way?"
• (Ron Livingston) "Right."
• (Jon Favreau) "So what's the difference?"
• (Ron Livingston) "There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back."
• (Jon Favreau) "So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her?"
• (Ron Livingston) "Right."
• (Jon Favreau) "Well that sucks."
• (Ron Livingston) "Yeah, it sucks."
• (Jon Favreau) "So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her?"
• (Ron Livingston) "Right. Although probably more likely the opposite."
• (Jon Favreau) "What do you mean?"
• (Ron Livingston) "I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever -- but then eventually, you really will forget about her."
• (Jon Favreau) "Well what if she comes back first?"
• (Ron Livingston) "Mmmm -- see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget."
• (Jon Favreau) "There's the rub."
• (Ron Livingston) "There's the rub."

• (Jon Favreau) "How about if I wait six weeks to call. I could tell her I found her number while I was cleaning out my wallet, I can't remember where we met. I'll ask her what she looks like and then I'll ask her if we f***ed. How about that? Would that be money?"

• (Jon Favreau) "Hi, how are you ladies doing this evening?"
• (Girl at the Party) "What do you drive?"

• (Jon Favreau) "Hi."
• (Heather Graham) "Hi."
• (Jon Favreau) "I'm Mike."
• (Heather Graham) "Hi Mike, I'm Lorraine."
• (Jon Favreau) "Like the quiche."
• (Heather Graham) "Like the quiche? That's a really original joke."
• (Jon Favreau) "I like quiche."
• (Heather Graham) "I thought real men didn't like quich?"
• (Jon Favreau) "Well, it seems my reputation had preceded me here."
• (Heather Graham) "You not a real man?"
• (Jon Favreau) "Not lately."

• (Jon Favreau) "What the f*** are you carrying a gun for? What, in case somebody steps to you, Snoop Dogg?"
• (Patrick Van Horn) "Hey man, you're not from here, alright. You don't know how it is. I grew up in L.A."
• (Vince Vaughn) "Anaheim."
• (Patrick Van Horn) "Whatever, man. It's different out here. It's not like New York, Mikey."

• (Jon Favreau) "Haven't you seen Boyz N The Hood? Now one of us is going to get shot."

• (Jon Favreau) "So how long do I wait to call?"
• (Vince Vaughn) "A day."
• (Jon Favreau) "Tomorrow."
• (Patrick Van Horn) "Tomorrow, then a day."
• (Vince Vaughn) "Yeah."
• (Jon Favreau) "So two days?"
• (Vince Vaughn) "Yeah, I guess you could call it that, two days."
• (Patrick Van Horn) "Definitely, two days is like industry standard."
• (Vince Vaughn) "You know I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it's like everyone in town waits two days. So I think three days is kind of money. What do you think?"
• (Patrick Van Horn) "Yeah, but two's enough not to look anxious."
• (Vince Vaughn) "Yeah, two's enough not to look anxious. But I think three days is kind of money. You know because you --"
• (Jon Favreau) "Yeah, but you know what, mabey I'll wait 3 weeks. How's that? And tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and I just happened to run into her number."
• (Alex Désert) "Then ask her where you met her."
• (Jon Favreau) "Yeah, I'll ask her where I met her. I don't remember. What does she look like? And then I'll asked if we f***ed. Is that -- would that be -- T, would that be the money?"
• (Vince Vaughn) "You know what. Ha ha ha Mike, laugh all you want but if you call too soon you might scare off a nice baby who's ready to party."
• (Jon Favreau) "Well how long are you guys gonna wait to call your babies?"
• (Patrick Van Horn) "Six days."

• (Jon Favreau) "Look, we're gonna spend half the night driving around the Hills looking for this one party and you're going to say it sucks and we're all gonna leave and then we're gonna go look for this other party. But all the parties and all the bars, they all suck. I spend half the night talking to some girl who's looking around the room to see if there's somebody else who's more important she should be talking to. And it's like I'm supposed to be all happy 'cause she's wearing a backpack, you know? And half of them are just nasty skanks who wouldn't be nothing except they're surrounded by a bunch of drunken horny assholes. And I'm gonna tell you something T. Are you listening?"
• (Vince Vaughn) "Yeah, I'm listening."
• (Jon Favreau) "I'm not gonna be one of those assholes. Alright? It just makes me sick. It's like, some nasty skank who isn't half the woman my girlfriend is, is gonna front me? It makes me want to f***in' puke."

Patrick Van Horn as Sue

• (Patrick Van Horn) "People get carjacked."
• (Vince Vaughn) "Who's gonna carjack your f***in' K-Car? He's right Sue you don't need to carry a gat."

• (Patrick Van Horn) "This is bulls***, such bulls***."
• (Jon Favreau) "The Kings suck in this game you should play another team."
• (Patrick Van Horn) "I took the Kings to the cup."
• (Vince Vaughn) "Yea, against the computer with the offsides off."
• (Patrick Van Horn) "They are a finesse team."
• (Vince Vaughn) "LA is a f***ing bitch team. OOOOHHHHHHH."
• (Patrick Van Horn) "BITCH."

• (Patrick Van Horn) "Just because I had the balls to stand up to those guys --"
• (Vince Vaughn) "Like f***in' House of Pain was gonna do anything?"

• (Patrick Van Horn) "Pause the game."
• (Vince Vaughn) "Wait I'm gonna do my thing with the thing."

• (Patrick Van Horn) "What? Come guys I couldn't back down, that guy called me a bitch we kept our "rep" bro."
• (Alex Désert) "Man, f*** "rep" I got a call back tomorrow."

Alex Désert as Charles

• (Alex Désert) "This place is dead anyways."

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