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The Waterboy Quotes

The Waterboy is a television program that appeared on TV in 1970 . The Waterboy ended its run in 1970.

It features Plain list, * Jack Giarraputo; Robert Simonds; Adam Sandler as producer, Alan Pasqua in charge of musical score, and Steven Bernstein (cinematographer) as head of cinematography.

The Waterboy is recorded in English language and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Waterboy is 90 minutes long. The Waterboy is distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

The cast includes: Henry Winkler as Coach Klein, Adam Sandler as Bobby Boucher, Kathy Bates as Mama Boucher, Clint Howard as Paco, Peter Dante as Guy Grenouille, Jerry Reed as Coach Red Beaulieu, Larry Gilliard Jr. as Derek Wallace, Allen Covert as Walter, Jennifer Taylor as Rita, Fairuza Balk as Vicki Vallencourt, Rob Schneider as Townie, Jonathan Loughran as Lyle Robideaux, and Blake Clark as Farmer Fran.

The Waterboy Quotes

Adam Sandler as Bobby Boucher

  • (Adam Sandler) "Nice hit, Mama."
  • (Kathy Bates) "Thanks, baby. Now you go on and have some fun becomin' a man."
  • (Professor) "Now, is there anyone here that can tell me why -- most alligators are abnormally aggressive? Anybody? Anyone? Yes, sir. You, sir."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Mama says that alligators are ornery -- 'cause they got all them teeth but no toothbrush."
  • (Professor) "Yo mama said, alligators are ornery 'cause they got all them teeth -- and no toothbrush. Wow. Anybody else? Yes, sir. You, sir."
  • (Student) "Alligators are aggressive because of an enlarged medulla oblongata. It's the sector of the brain which controls aggressive behavior."
  • (Professor) "That is correct. The medulla oblongata --"
  • (Adam Sandler) "But Mama said --"
  • (Professor) "The medulla oblongata -- is where anger, jealousy and aggression come from. Now, is there anybody here can tell me where happiness comes from? Anyone? All right, let's hear what Mama has to say on the subject."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Mama say that happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you feelin' blue."
  • (Professor) "Well, folks, Mama's wrong again."
  • (Adam Sandler) "No, Colonel Sanders, you're wrong. Mama's right. You're all wrong. Mama's right. Mama's right."
  • (Professor) "Somethin' wrong with his medulla oblongata."
  • (Adam Sandler) "My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Ben Franklin."
  • (Young Bobby Boucher) "Mama, when did Ben Franklin invent electricity?"
  • (Kathy Bates) "That's nonsense, I invented electricity. Ben Franklin is the Devil."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Look who's on TV, Mama -- it's the devil."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Now that's what I call high quality H2O."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Good luck on the upcoming play."
  • (West Mississippi Lineman) "I'll be playing with your mama tonight."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Sixty-two --"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Excuse me, ladies, while I just go hang myself."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Sixty-two, sixty-two -- there you are."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Mama, something bad happened today."
  • (Kathy Bates) "Did somebody hurt you my boy?"

Jennifer Taylor as Rita

  • (Jennifer Taylor) "Is there a girl you're seein'?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Seein'? Uh, I see a lot of girls -- I see a lot of guys too."
  • (Jennifer Taylor) "I think that's sexy, you ever been with a guy and girl at the same time?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Oh yea, plenty of times. The other night, I was with my Mama and Coach Klein at the same time."

Kathy Bates as Mama Boucher

  • (Kathy Bates) "Foos-ball? Buncha overgrown monsters man-handlin' each other -- 'Member when dat man wanted you to play foos-ball, Bobby?"
  • (Kathy Bates) "No son of mine is gonna play any foos-ball."
  • (Kathy Bates) "You gonna lose all your fancy "fools' balls" games. And your gonna fail your big exam. Because school is --"
  • (Adam Sandler) "The devil?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Everything is the devil to you, Mama. Well, I like school, and I like football. And I'm gonna keep doin' them both because they make me feel good."
  • (Adam Sandler) "And by the way, Mama. "Alligators" are ornery 'cause of their "Medula Oblongata"."
  • (Adam Sandler) "And I like Vicki, and she like me back. And she showed me her boobies and I like them too."
  • (Kathy Bates) "You don't have what they call "the social skills." That's why you never have any friends, 'cept fo' yo' mama."
  • (Kathy Bates) "Are men supposed to wear pyjamas featuring a cartoon character by the name of Deputy Dawg?"

Peter Dante as Guy Grenouille

  • (Peter Dante) "I don't want that loser on the team. Everybody's gonna laugh at us."
  • (Jonathan Loughran) "Everybody already 'is' laughing at us. We haven't won a game since nineteen-ninety-FOUR."
  • (Peter Dante) "Nice going, shithead. You lost us the football game."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Sorry. Will you please still be my friend?"
  • (Peter Dante) "No, get away from me."
  • (Peter Dante) "Hey, moron. Hey. Moron. Duh. L-L-Look at me. I'm th-th-the waterboy. Duh. I got a wooden spoon. Duh."
  • (Greg Meaney) "Smells like you need a shower, stinky."
  • (Jerry Reed) "You're fired."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Stop makin' fun of me."
  • (Peter Dante) "Red thirty. Hut."
  • (Henry Winkler) "Wow."
  • (Larry Gilliard Jr.) "Damn."
  • (Peter Dante) "Needledick, Needledick, Needledick."

Henry Winkler as Coach Klein

  • (Henry Winkler) "Bobby, can you do that for me every game?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Coach, not only will I do it for you, I -- I -- I -- yes, yes, I'll do it for you."
  • (Henry Winkler) "Are you all right?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "I wasn't gonna do nothin', coach."
  • (Henry Winkler) "Well ya better do something. You gotta stick up for yourself, Bobby."
  • (Adam Sandler) "But what about the finally tuned athletic machine?"
  • (Henry Winkler) "I am not telling you to go on a shooting rampage."
  • (Henry Winkler) "Nice suit."

Rob Schneider as Townie

  • (Rob Schneider) "Oh no. We suck again."
  • (Rob Schneider) "You can do it. Cut his fucking head off."
  • (Rob Schneider) "You can do it."

Clint Howard as Paco

  • (Clint Howard) "I am not what you would call a handsome man. The good Lord chose not to bless me with -- with charm, athletic ability -- or a fully functional brain. You see, you're an inspriation, to all of us who -- who weren't born handsome, and charming and cool, and and --"
  • (Clint Howard) "Hey Walter. I bet you fifty bucks Guy Grenouille throws a touchdown pass on the first play. Check it out."
  • (Clint Howard) "Woo hoo hoo hoo. You owe me fifty bucks."
  • (Allen Covert) "You said it was gonna be a touchdown pass, you crazy asshole."

Allen Covert as Walter

  • (Allen Covert) "Let's kick some names and take some ass."

Fairuza Balk as Vicki Vallencourt

  • (Fairuza Balk) "Well, Bobby Boucher, welcome to manhood. I'll make sure to welcome you properly later."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Once again, I'm not quite sure what that means."

Jerry Reed as Coach Red Beaulieu

  • (Lynn Swann) "You gonna add another championship trophy to the old case downstairs?"
  • (Jerry Reed) "That's kinda like my old man told me one time, Lynn. The only thing better than a crawfish dinner, is five crawfish dinners."

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