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Harold and Maude Quotes

Harold and Maude is a television show that appeared on TV in 1970 . Harold and Maude stopped airing in 1970.

It features Colin Higgins as producer, Cat Stevens in charge of musical score, and John A. Alonzo as head of cinematography.

Harold and Maude is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Harold and Maude is 91 minutes long. Harold and Maude is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Bud Cort as Harold, and Vivian Pickles as Mrs. Chasen.

Harold and Maude Quotes

Bud Cort as Harold

  • (Maude) "I should like to change into a sunflower most of all. They're so tall and simple. What flower would you like to be?"
  • (Bud Cort) "I don't know. One of these, maybe."
  • (Maude) "Why do you say that?"
  • (Bud Cort) "Because they're all alike."
  • (Maude) "Oooh, but they're not. Look. See, some are smaller, some are fatter, some grow to the left, some to the right, some even have lost some petals. All kinds of observable differences. You see, Harold, I feel that much of the world's sorrow comes from people who are this,"
  • (Maude) "yet allow themselves be treated as that."
  • (Maude) "Tell me, do you dance?"
  • (Bud Cort) "Pardon me?"
  • (Maude) "Do you sing and dance?"
  • (Bud Cort) "Uh, no."
  • (Maude) "Uh, no. I thought not."
  • (Maude) "Hey, this old thing handles well. Ever drive a hearse Harold?"
  • (Bud Cort) "Yeah."
  • (Maude) "Well. It's a new experience for me."
  • (Maude) "Good on curves. Shall I take you home Harold?"
  • (Bud Cort) "Uh, this is my car."
  • (Maude) "YOUR hearse?"
  • (Bud Cort) "Y'hearse."
  • (Maude) "Ohhhhhhhhhhhh."
  • (Maude) "Then YOU shall take ME home."
  • (Bud Cort) "Maude."
  • (Maude) "Hmm?"
  • (Bud Cort) "Do you pray?"
  • (Maude) "Pray? No. I communicate."
  • (Bud Cort) "With God?"
  • (Maude) "With life."
  • (Bud Cort) "He's following us."
  • (Maude) "Is he? Police always want to play games."
  • (Bud Cort) "You sure have a way with people."
  • (Maude) "Well, they're my species."
  • (Bud Cort) "Do you -- enjoy -- knives?"
  • (Psychiatrist) "That's very interesting, Harold, and I think, very illuminating. There seems to be a definite pattern emerging. And, of course, this pattern, once isolated, can be coped with. Recognize the problem, and you are halfway on the road to its, uh, its solution. Uh, tell me, Harold, what do you do for fun? What activity gives you a different sense of enjoyment from the others? Uh, what do you find fulfilling? What gives you that -- special satisfaction?"
  • (Bud Cort) "-- I go to funerals."
  • (Bud Cort) "During war time, the national suicide rate goes down."
  • (Maude) "The earth is my body; my head is in the stars."
  • (Maude) "Who said that, Harold?"
  • (Bud Cort) "I don't know."
  • (Maude) "Well, I suppose I did, then."
  • (Bud Cort) "She took my head -- She took my head. I'LL KILL HER."
  • (Psychiatrist) "Tell me, Harold, how many of these, eh, suicides have you performed?"
  • (Bud Cort) "An accurate number would be difficult to gauge."
  • (Psychiatrist) "Well, just give me a rough estimate."
  • (Bud Cort) "A rough estimate? I'd say"
  • (Bud Cort) "fifteen."
  • (Psychiatrist) "Fifteen?"
  • (Bud Cort) "That's a rough estimate."
  • (Psychiatrist) "Were they all done for your mother's benefit?"
  • (Bud Cort) "No. No, I would not say "benefit.""
  • (Maude) "I couldn't imagine a lovelier farewell."
  • (Bud Cort) "Farewell?"
  • (Maude) "Oh, yes, dear -- My 80th birthday."
  • (Bud Cort) "But you're not going anywhere -- are you?"
  • (Maude) "I took the tablets an hour ago. I'll be gone by midnight."
  • (Bud Cort) "WHAT?"
  • (Bud Cort) "What were you fighting for?"
  • (Maude) "Oh, big issues. Liberty. Rights. Justice. Kings died, kingdoms fell. I don't regret the kingdoms; what sense in borders and nations and patriotism? But I miss the kings."
  • (Maude) "That was fun. Let's play something together."
  • (Bud Cort) "I don't play anything."
  • (Maude) "Nothing? Dear me, everybody should be able to make some music. That's the cosmic dance."
  • (Bud Cort) "So -- you don't use the umbrella anymore?"
  • (Bud Cort) "No more revolts?"
  • (Maude) "Oh, yes. Every day. But I don't need a defense anymore. I embrace. Still fighting for the Big Issues, but now in my small, individual way."
  • (Bud Cort) "I like you, Maude."
  • (Maude) "I like you, Harold."
  • (Bud Cort) "Maude?"
  • (Maude) "Yeah?"
  • (Bud Cort) "Here."
  • (Maude) "A gift."
  • (Maude) ""Harold loves Maude." -- and Maude loves Harold. This is the nicest gift I've received in years."
  • (Maude) "So I'll always know where it is."

Vivian Pickles as Mrs. Chasen

  • (Vivian Pickles) "I suppose you think that's very funny, Harold -- Oh, dinner at eight, Harold. And do try and be a little more vivacious."
  • (Vivian Pickles) "I have here, Harold, the forms sent out by the National Computer Dating Service. It seems to me that as you do not get along with the daughters of my friends, this is the best way for you to find a prospective wife."
  • (Vivian Pickles) "Please, Harold, we have a lot to do and I have to be at the hairdresser's at three."
  • (Vivian Pickles) "The Computer Dating Service offers you at least three dates on the initial investment. They screen out the fat and ugly, so it is obviously a firm of high standards."
  • (Vivian Pickles) "Harold --. That was your last date."
  • (Vivian Pickles) "She provides the whole southwest with chicken feed."

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