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Fawlty Towers Quotes

Fawlty Towers is a Sitcom that appeared on TV in 1975 on BBC2. Fawlty Towers ended its run in 1979.

Fawlty Towers lasted 12 episodes. It features John Howard Davies as producer, and Dennis Wilson (composer) as theme composer. Fawlty Towers is created by John Cleese.

Fawlty Towers is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of Fawlty Towers is 30 minutes long. Fawlty Towers is produced by BBC and distributed by BBC Worldwide.

Fawlty Towers Quotes

  • (Basil Fawlty) "Your name, please, could I have your name?"
  • (Lord Melbury) "Melbury."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "One second please."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Hello? -- Ah, yes Mr O'Reilly, well it's perfectly simple. When I asked you to build me a wall I was rather hoping that instead of just dumping the bricks in a pile you might have found time to cement them together -- you know, one on top of another, in the traditional fashion."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Could you fill it in, please?"
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Oh, splendid. Ah, yes, but when, Mr O'Reilly?"
  • (Basil Fawlty) "there; there."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Yes, but when? Yes, yes -- ah --. the flu."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Both names, please."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Yes, I should have guessed, Mr. O'Reilly that and the potato famine I suppose --"
  • (Lord Melbury) "I beg your pardon?"
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Would you put both your names, please? --"
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Well, will you give me a date ?"
  • (Lord Melbury) "Er -- I only use one."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "You don't have a first name?"
  • (Lord Melbury) "No, I am Lord Melbury, so I simply sign myself "Melbury"."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Go away."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "-- I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting, your lordship -- I do apologize, please forgive me. Now, was there something, is there something, anything, I can do for you? Anything at all?"
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Do you remember when we were first manacled together? We used to laugh quite a lot."
  • (Sybil Fawlty) "Yes, but not at the same time, Basil."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Well, that was a warning, wasn't it? Zhoom. What was that? That was your life, mate. Oh, really, do I get another? No, that's your lot mate. Back to the World of dreams --"
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Manuel will show you to your rooms; if you're lucky."
  • (Mrs. Wilson) "Oh I thought that was the drill."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Yes there is, at twelve o'clock."
  • (Mrs. Wilson) "But, it is twelve o'clock."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Well not quite."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Excuse me."
  • (Mrs. Wilson) "Well, I make it twelve o'clock."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Im afraid that wasn't the --"
  • (Mrs. Wilson) "What time do you make it, Major?"
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Look --"
  • (Major Gowen) "Burglars about, I think."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Look, it doesn't matter what time he makes it, it hasn't started yet."
  • (Mrs. Sharp) "What?"
  • (Basil Fawlty) "It hasn't started yet."
  • (Mrs. Sharp) "But, that was the bell wasn't it?"
  • (Basil Fawlty) "No."
  • (Mrs. Wilson) "He means the drill hasn't started yet."
  • (Mr. Sharp) "What drill? We didn't hear a drill."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "No, no no no, look, look; that was the burglar alarm."
  • (Major Gowen) "See."
  • (Mrs. Wilson) "The burglar alarm?"
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Yes."
  • (Mrs. Wilson) "Are there burglars?"
  • (Major Gowen) "Evidently."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "No. Look, what's the matter with you all? It's perfectly simple: we have the fire drill when I ring the fire bell- That wasn't the fire bell."
  • (Mr. Sharp) "Well, how are we supposed to know that wasn't the fire bell?"
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Because, it doesn't sound like the fire bell."
  • (Unnamed) "It did."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "It didn't."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Don't be alarmed, it's only my wife laughing."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Sounds like somebody machine-gunning a seal."
  • (Major Gowen) "I think it's very sporting of Mrs Fawlty to go over there and listen to all that rubbish."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Salt of the Earth, couldn't live without her."
  • (Major Gowen) "She's a fine woman, Mrs Fawlty."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "No, I wouldn't go that far."
  • (Major Gowen) "No, nor will I."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "So this Finnish floozy is your karate teacher is she?"
  • (Terry) "Well. It's a sort of karate isn't it?"
  • (Sybil Fawlty) "I know -- I know -- I know -- Oh, I know."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Then why is she telling you?"
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Next contestant, Mrs. Sybil Fawlty from Torquay. Specialist subject; the bleeding obvious."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Coming my little piranha fish."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "We have a Spanish porter at the moment, he's from Barcelona. It'd be quicker to train an ape."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Right, well I'll go and have a lie down then. No I won't; I'll go and hit some guests."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "It's almost worth staying alive for little moments like that, isn't it Sybil? I know it's true because I read it on the back of a matchbox."
  • (Miss Gatsby) "And don't do anything we wouldn't do."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Oh, just a little breathing, surely."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "You'll have to forgive him. He's from Barcelona."
  • (Manuel) "I know nothing."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Polly, what's that smell?"
  • (Polly) "Flowers, I just got them from the garden."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Well, what are you stinking the place up with those for? What's happened to the plastic ones?"
  • (Polly) "Being ironed."
  • (Unnamed) "Is this a Hotel or isn't it?"
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Well, within reason."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Why don't you have another vat of wine, dear?"
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Stupidissimo. Continental cretin."
  • (Basil Fawlty) "Not pureeing your loved ones, that's the tricky part."

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