Frasier Quotes

Frasier is a Sitcom that appeared on TV in 1993 on NBC. Frasier ended its run in 2004.

Frasier lasted 11 seasons and 264 episodes. It features Maggie Blanc as producer, and Bruce Miller and Darryl Phinesse as theme composer. Frasier is executive produced by Peter Casey. Frasier is created by David Angell.

Frasier is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Frasier is 21-23 minutes long. Frasier is produced by Grub Street Productions and distributed by Paramount Domestic Television.

The cast includes: Kelsey Grammer as Frasier, Jane Leeves as Daphne, David Hyde Pierce as Niles, John Mahoney as Martin, Peri Gilpin as Roz, Dan Butler as Bulldog, and Kelsey Grammer as Rachel.

Frasier Quotes

Kelsey Grammer as Frasier

• (Kelsey Grammer) "Dear God. Make it shut up."
• (John Mahoney) "That prayer never gets answered around here."

• (Kelsey Grammer) "Roger, at Cornell University they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the Tunneling Electron Microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem."

• (Kelsey Grammer) "Scrambled eggs all over my face; what is a boy to do?"

• (Kelsey Grammer) "Oh, knock it off."

• (Kelsey Grammer) "Hello, Ethan. I'm listening."
• (Ethan) "Hi, Dr. Crane."
• (Kelsey Grammer) "How old are you?"
• (Ethan) "I'm thirteen."
• (Kelsey Grammer) "Well, what can I do for you?"
• (Ethan) "Well, I'm having a lot of problems with the other kids at school. They're always beating me up."
• (Kelsey Grammer) "Why do you think that's so?"
• (Ethan) "Probably because I'm smart. I have a 160 IQ. I'm in the astronomy club and I hate sports."
• (Kelsey Grammer) "Well, you know, Ethan, the other children are just acting out of jealousy and immaturity, and I know it doesn't help much right now, but the day will come in the next few years when you will have the last laugh."
• (Ethan) "-- That's it?"
• (Kelsey Grammer) "Yes."
• (Ethan) "Frankly, Dr. Crane, I find that advice patronizing, simplistic and, in all candor, uninspired. The real surprise here is that they pay you to dole out this balloon juice."
• (Kelsey Grammer) "Ethan, where are you calling from?"
• (Ethan) "Home."
• (Kelsey Grammer) "Well, if any of Ethan's classmates are listening, you know where he is, and he can't stay in there forever. Thank you for your call."

• (Kelsey Grammer) "Don't stare at me, Eddie. I'm a humane man but in the mood I'm in, I could kick a kitten through an electric fan."

• (Kelsey Grammer) "All that Osteopath did was give me a bottle of Horse Tranquillisers and send me on my way. He didn't want to help me, he just wanted to shut me up."

• (Kelsey Grammer) "You're not alone."
• (Unnamed) "But I AM alone."

• (Kelsey Grammer) "Niles, is there a light bulb over my head?"
• (David Hyde Pierce) "You have an idea?"
• (Kelsey Grammer) "No, I'm asking if there's actually a light bulb over my head."

• (Kelsey Grammer) "I'm listening."

• (Kelsey Grammer) "So, how do the calls look today?"
• (Peri Gilpin) "Well, we've got a couple of jilted lovers, a man who's afraid of his car, a manic depressive, and three people who feel their lives are going nowhere."
• (Kelsey Grammer) "Oh, I love a Monday."

• (Kelsey Grammer) "What fresh Hell awaits."

• (Kelsey Grammer) "This is Dr. Frasier Crane wishing you all good mental health."

• (Kelsey Grammer) "And though washing one's hands twenty to thirty times a day would be considered obsessive/compulsive, please bear in mind that your husband is a coroner. Thank you for your call, Jeanine. Roz, whom do we have next?"

• (Kelsey Grammer) "Hello, Rachel. I'm listening."
• (Kelsey Grammer) "Oh, thanks for taking my call, Dr. Crane. Um, I'm involved in sort of a strange love triangle."
• (Kelsey Grammer) "Oh goody, this is sweeps week."

• (Kelsey Grammer) "Cupid and his arrow have declared me an endangered species."

Dan Butler as Bulldog

• (Dan Butler) "Well Chuck, I'm really sorry I offended you. Now why don't you put your skirt back on and do some dishes?"

• (Dan Butler) "Where's my pen?"
• (Dan Butler) "THIS STINKS. THIS IS TOTAL BS. THIS IS -- Oh, here it is."

David Hyde Pierce as Niles

• (David Hyde Pierce) "I'm just bringing sunscreen."
• (Kelsey Grammer) "Pardon me; I'm just going to poke out my mind's eye."

John Mahoney as Martin

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Jane Leeves as Daphne

• (Jane Leeves) "I suppose I like my gents more on the manly side."
• (Jane Leeves) "Is that a little swan you just made?"
• (David Hyde Pierce) "No, it was a B-52."

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