Poetry and Quotations

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Funny Football Quotes

These are American football quotes
To view the other type of football quotes, see soccer.

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.
Joe Theismann

Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings.
George Will

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck

Most football teams are temperamental.That's 90% temper and 10% mental.
Doug Plank

Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it.
Heywood Hale Brown

You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four.
Dan Birdwell

Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.
Frank Gifford

American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.
Sue Lawley

The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
Phyllis Diller

College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.
Elbert Hubbard

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