Miss Congeniality (film) Quotes

Miss Congeniality (film) is a television show that appeared on TV in 1970 . Miss Congeniality stopped airing in 1970.

It features Sandra Bullock as producer, Ed Shearmur in charge of musical score, and László Kovács (cinematographer) as head of cinematography.

Miss Congeniality (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Miss Congeniality (film) is 110 minutes long. Miss Congeniality (film) is distributed by Warner Bros..

Miss Congeniality (film) Quotes

• (Victor Melling) "If I'd ever had a daughter, I imagine she might have been something like you -- which is perhaps why I've never reproduced."

• (Kathy Morningside) "You know, you think you saved something tonight, but all you did was to destroy the dream of young women all over this country."
• (Gracie Hart) "What? You think that their dream is to get blown up?"

• (Gracie Hart) "Donut Nazi."

• (Gracie Hart) "Oh good. I guess it's time to go apply at my local Hooters."
• (Gracie Hart) "What? Hemorrhoid ointment? You really think the judges are going to be looking that closely?"
• (Victor Melling) "It's for the little baggies under your eyes."
• (Gracie Hart) "Really."
• (Gracie Hart) "Oh good, hairspray. Something I finally recognize."
• (Gracie Hart) "What are you doing?"
• (Victor Melling) "It stops the suit from riding up."
• (Gracie Hart) "Riding up where?"
• (Victor Melling) "Just -- up."
• (Gracie Hart) "That is enough."
• (Victor Melling) "Why do you make things difficult for me?"
• (Gracie Hart) "Oh, yeah. I can see this is an incredibly embarrassing situation for you."

• (Victor Melling) "The interview is the single most important part of the pageant. It counts for 30 percent of your total score."
• (Gracie Hart) "What's the other 70 percent, cleavage?"

• (Miss Hawaii) "Oh I know and it's an honor to have made it this far, I mean especially when you come from such a small state,"
• (Cheryl "Rhode Island") "Oh that's so true. Us Rhode Islanders --"
• (Miss Hawaii) "Umm I wasn't finished. Did it sound like I was finished?"
• (Cheryl "Rhode Island") "I'm sorry. I,"
• (Karen "New York") "Ay Dios, what are you apologizing to her for? She's obviously been drinking too much Coppertone."

• (Stan Fields) "As you know, I'll be retiring this year."
• (Mary Jo Wright, Miss Texas) "Oh, he's not retiring. I spoke to him this morning, the poor man blurted out the whole thing. They're firing him. Going for someone newer and younger. I hope it's Ricky Martin."

• (Victor Melling) "I knew I'd never get you here, unless you had the chance to shoot someone."

• (Victor Melling) "Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown."

• (Gracie Hart) "Ok, with all due respect here, why did Miss Morningside suggest you?"
• (Victor Melling) "Because I am the best -- they had their Southern belles, their Midwestern farmers' daughters, spunky western cowgirls, and I have -- dirty Harriet."

• (Victor Melling) "What, no armored car?"
• (Gracie Hart) "That would be in my other dress."

• (Victor Melling) "See? Glide. It's all in the buttocks. Don't I look pretty?"
• (Gracie Hart) "It takes a very secure man to walk like that."

• (Kathy Morningside) "Oh, oh, Victor, you'll take the bags to the room. I realize it's been a while since you've been with us, but you remember how everything goes, don't you?"
• (Victor Melling) "One little mistake, and I'm a bloody bellhop."

• (Kathy Morningside) "New Jersey, as you know, there are many who consider the Miss United States Pageant to be outdated and anti-feminist. What would you say to them?"
• (Gracie Hart) "Well, I would have to say; I used to be one of them. And then I came here and I realized that these women are smart, terrific people who are just trying to make a difference in the world. And we've become really good friends. I mean, I know we all secretly hope the other one will trip and fall on her face, and; wait a minute, I've already done that. And for me this experience has been one of the most rewarding and liberating experiences of my life."
• (Victor Melling) "My God, I did it."
• (Gracie Hart) "And if anyone, anyone; tries to hurt one of my new friends, I would take them out. I would make them suffer so much that they'd wish they were never born. And if they ran, I would hunt them down. Thank you, Kathy."
• (Victor Melling) "A brief shining moment, and then that mouth."

• (Gracie Hart) "His ego is like this big and his equpment is like this big."

• (Gracie Hart) "You think I'm gorgeous, you want to kiss me --"
• (Gracie Hart) "You want to hug me -- You want to love me -- You want to hug me -- You want to smooch me -- You want to --"

• (Cheryl "Rhode Island") "My parents don't like anything ostentatious. And they really don't like fire."

• (Stan Fields) "Prepare for what promises to be a day of astounding musical, theatrical, and dancing talent. And after I'm finished you can see the ladies."

• (Gracie Hart) "Look I know what I'm gonna do. I haven't done this since high school but it's like riding a bike."
• (Victor Melling) "You are not having sex on this stage."
• (Gracie Hart) "I didn't know that was an option."

• (Victor Melling) "I'm sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap."

• (Eric Matthews) "Listen to me, you old fruitcake."
• (Victor Melling) "How dare you, you cupcake."

• (Eric Matthews) "Wo wo wo. Wait a minute, what are you doing? Put that back in your ear."
• (Gracie Hart) "I can't talk girl talk with a guy in my head. I can't even do it with me in my head."

• (Eric Matthews) "This earpiece lets you hear anybody on our frequencies, and they can hear you."
• (Gracie Hart) "Don't need that, with all this foil in my hair I'm getting HBO."

• (Karen "New York") "Bizzaro."

• (Gracie Hart) "There's something I can do for the talent, that I know how to do it since high school."
• (Victor Melling) "You will not be having sex on this stage."
• (Gracie Hart) "I didn't know that was an option, all right? All I have to do is call room service."

• (Gracie Hart) "Hey. I'm gliding here."

• (Stan Fields) "Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date."
• (Cheryl "Rhode Island") "That's a tough one. I'd have to say April 25th. Because it's not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket."

• (Eric Matthews) "Hart, listen to me. I've waited five years to run my own op. You think I'd blow it on the wrong girl?"
• (Gracie Hart) "No no no, I know the only reason you picked me was because I was the only one who looked half decent in a bikini and wasn't on maternity leave."
• (Eric Matthews) "No, that's why they let me pick you. You wanna know why I picked you?"
• (Gracie Hart) "Lost a bet?"
• (Eric Matthews) "Because you're smart. Because you don't take any crap from people. You're funny. You're easy to talk to when you're not armed. Look, give yourself a break. Cut Vic and the other pagent ladies some slack cause if they ever get a chance to see what I see then -- they're gonna love you."

• (Gracie Hart) "You know, you're gonna get yours, Henry Higgins."

• (Victor Melling) "Ten out of eleven years my girls were crowned. The year we lost, the winner was a deaf-mute. You can't beat that."

• (Kathy Morningside) "I would much rather cancel the show than have my girls blown up."
• (Stan Fields) "Especially without their knowledge."

• (Victor Melling) "Your hair should make a statement."
• (Gracie Hart) "As long as it doesn't say 'Thank you very much for the Country Music Award'."

• (Gracie Hart) "The last time I was this naked in public I was coming out of a uterus."

• (Gracie Hart) "My teeth; What are you going to do with my teeth?"
• (Victor Melling) "Hopefully, remove the beer stains and steak residue."

• (Eric Matthews) "All right, here's your new IDs. For pageant identity."
• (Gracie Hart) "Gracie Lou Freebush?"
• (Eric Matthews) "Yeah, remember, you like that name."
• (Gracie Hart) "Yeah, well, my IQ just dropped ten points."

• (Eric Matthews) "We recently discovered some information about the winner from New Jersey."
• (Gracie Hart) "And her performance in a little film called "Arma-get-it-on.""
• (Stan Fields) "Was that her?"

• (Gracie Hart) "You know what --"
• (Gracie Hart) "Pull this off. What, is it because Macdonald hates me?"
• (Eric Matthews) "He doesn't hate you."
• (Gracie Hart) "Is it some woman thing?"
• (Eric Matthews) "Don't kid yourself. Nobody thinks of you that way."
• (Gracie Hart) "He's punishing me, isn't he?"
• (Eric Matthews) "Look, I had to beg him to let you do this."
• (Gracie Hart) "What?"
• (Eric Matthews) "Yeah, like it or not you screwed up, pal."
• (Gracie Hart) "This may come as a shock to you but I've never been in a beauty pageant before. I don't even own a dress. I don't even own a brush."
• (Eric Matthews) "Which part o' that is supposed to shock me?"
• (Gracie Hart) "Jesus. Let's just swing reality for like a second. I have to do everything like the big hair, and the makeup --"
• (Eric Matthews) "Damn right. The spinning, the twirling, the smiling --"
• (Gracie Hart) "So you're saying -- I have to wear -- the bathing suit?"

• (Eric Matthews) "We were just looking for someone to go undercover at the pageant."
• (McDonald) "And I'm the best we have. That doesn't inspire much confidence."

• (Gracie Hart) "Look, she's gonna cry again."
• (Gracie Hart) ""Oh, if I only had a brain.""

• (Victor Melling) "There are no words."

• (Cheryl "Rhode Island") "Once I stole a pair of red underwear from the department store. My mom wouldn't buy them for me; she said they were Satan's panties."

• (Agent Clonsky) "McDonald called. He saw Hart's little anti-smoking commercial, he's on his way down."
• (Eric Matthews) "Oh, good, perfect, because I'd hate for him to fire me over the phone."

• (Cheryl "Rhode Island") "In a way, America is like a big ship, and when we work together and respect each other, that's when the ship gets safely home."
• (Victor Melling) "Terrific answer. DAMMIT."

• (Gracie Hart) "Sir, that is one really really purple Russian, sir."

• (Gracie Hart) "Oh, Vic's gonna kill you. You in big trouble."
• (Eric Matthews) "You look good wet."
• (Gracie Hart) "Shut up."

• (Miss Hawaii) "No insults today?"
• (Karen "New York") "You're a Don Ho."

• (Kathy Morningside) "Twenty-five years of bitching beauty queens, and what do I get? Fired. They steal my life, they steal my beauty pageant --"
• (Gracie Hart) "Hey, hey. It is not a beauty pageant, it is a scholarship program."
• (Kathy Morningside) "Yeah, yeah."
• (Gracie Hart) "Yes."

• (Gracie Hart) "I'm going to get chip-faced."

• (Gracie Hart) "Can't I get some Novocain?"
• (Dentist) "It's only a cleaning."
• (Gracie Hart) "No, I'm talking about Sweeney Todd back here."

• (Victor Melling) "By the way, what are you planning to do for your talent: sing, dance, chew with your mouth closed?"
• (Gracie Hart) "I will do whatever you want me to do, Yoda."

• (Eric Matthews) "Don't look at me like I betrayed you."
• (Gracie Hart) "No, betrayal implies an action, you just stood there."

• (Eric Matthews) "What do you say, Hart?"
• (Gracie Hart) "No freakin' way."
• (Eric Matthews) "Sparky, why not?"
• (Gracie Hart) "Cause I'm not gonna parade around in a swimsuit like some airhead bimbo that goes by the name, what, Gracie Lou Freebush and all she wants is world peace?"
• (Eric Matthews) "It won't be like that. Come on, you're an important member of the undercover team."
• (Gracie Hart) "Yeah, right, in a thong."

• (Victor Melling) "In place of friends and relationships, you have sarcasm and a gun."
• (Gracie Hart) "Oh, I have sarcasm? When every word that comes out of your mouth is dripping with disdain?"
• (Victor Melling) "Ah. That is because I am a miserable, grumpy elitist; and that works for me."
• (Gracie Hart) "You know what? I don't have relationships because I don't want them, an-an-and I don't have friends because I work 24/7. And you have no idea why I am the way that I am."

• (Eric Matthews) "Maybe we could have dinner, you know?"
• (Gracie Hart) "What? You, like, asking me on a date?"
• (Eric Matthews) "No. Just casual dinner -- If we happen to have sex afterwards so be it."

• (Eric Matthews) "Just imagine that she's me and there's something you wanna know but I don't wanna talk about it. What would you do?"
• (Gracie Hart) "You want me to beat it out of her?"

• (Mary Jo Wright, Miss Texas) "Will you please go back to the mothership?"
• (Frank Tobin) "Only if you go with me, Tex-ass."

• (Gracie Hart) "I would so love to hurt you right now."
• (Victor Melling) "As long as you smile."

• (Eric Matthews) "You gotta admit, part of you is going to miss this."
• (Gracie Hart) "I know I am going to miss the heels because they do something for my posture. And I'm suddenly very aware and proud of my breasts."
• (Eric Matthews) "Funny, me too."

• (Gracie Hart) "You ate pizza, you stole panties. You're a wild woman."

• (Gracie Hart) "It's lite beer, and she's gonna throw it up anyway."

• (Gracie Hart) "I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, and I'm armed. Don't mess with me."

• (Gracie Hart) "I was dating him for a little while because he told me he had an incurable disease --"
• (Unnamed) "Ooh."
• (Gracie Hart) "Yeah, I didn't realize it was stupidity."

• (Eric Matthews) "Operation "Thong" has commenced."
• (Gracie Hart) "Why don't you stun-gun yourself?"
• (Eric Matthews) "I knew she'd like that one."

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