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Funny Quotes From SpongeBob SquarePants - Page 2

French Narrator: Ah, the sea. So fascinating. So wonderful. Here, we see Bikini Bottom, teeming with life. Home to one of my favorite creatures, SpongeBob SquarePants. Yes, of course he lives in a pineapple, you silly.
[SpongeBob and Patrick are welcoming Squidward home from the hospital]
SpongeBob: Welcome home, Squidward!
Patrick: Merry Christmas!
Plankton: Any last words, SpongeBob SecretPants?
SpongeBob: [realizing it's no use to fight] I just have to say I'm sorry I let Mr. Krabs down. I let all of Bikini Bottom down. [tears fill his eyes and leak down his face] But worst of all, I let you down, you delicate little Krabby Patty...with your tasty, juicy, scrumptious, warm, steaming goodness...
Plankton: [enticed] Steaming?
SpongeBob: [sadly] I'll never forget your one-hundred-percent all-secret patty, secretly assembled with undersea cheese, pickles, lettuce, tomato, onion, all secretly steaming between two fluffy seaweed sea buns.
Plankton: [drooling] Yes. YES! [dives out of SpongeBob's head] Come to Papa! [bounces off the top bun and falls into the analyzer] Oh, boy. [the analyzer zaps him]
Karen: Plankton: 1% Evil, 99% Hot Gas.
[near the end of the driving test]
SpongeBob: I'm cheating, Mrs. Puff! I'm cheating!
Mrs. Puff: It's okay, SpongeBob! You can cheat! Cheat that way! [points towards the finish line]
SpongeBob: NO! I'm cheating!
Squidward: SpongeBob, is it time already for you to ruin my day?
Patrick: Is it time already to ruin Squid's day? Don't start without me!
Mermaid Man: I did it! I feel five years younger! Oh, it's good to be back!
Barnacle Boy: [kindly] We did it, ya old coot.
Mermaid Man: Who are you?
Bubble Bass: I believe you owe me two bucks.
Mr. Krabs: TWO BUCKS?!
Bubble Bass: Your guarantee.
[the camera zooms in on the Krusty Krab's menu and shows in microscopic print "money back guarantee"]
Mr. Krabs: What would you like?
Tom: I'll take a [squeak].
Mr. Krabs: What did you say?
Tom: I said, I'll take a [squeak].
SpongeBob: I heard his order, Mr. Krabs, he said he wants the [squeak].
Mr. Krabs: Huh?! [montage which leads to Krabs going insane]
[SpongeBob hugs Squidward followed by everyone else]
Squidward: Could we please stop this?
Patrick: Patrick itchy!
SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward! I mean, good bye, Squidward! Isn't opposite day...terrible!
Squidward: [from his house] I'll tell you what's terrible-- living next to you! You're the worst neighbor in history!
SpongeBob: Wow, that's the nicest thing Squidward's ever said to me!
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