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Funny Quotes From Family Guy

Family Guy is one of the most controversial shows on television. It talks about racism, politics, homosexuality, and more. Even though you might not agree with Seth Macfarlane's views, the show is quite hilarious.

Below you'll find some great funny quotes from the cartoon.

Peter, I like you. But I need you to be more than just eye candy around here.
Mr. Weed

Ooh...you're bending it...
Neil to Lois as she straddles him
Hey Brian! I turned the stairs into a waterslide!
  (after Peter falls down the waterslide) I'm not going to call an ambulance this time because if I do you won't learn anything.
Peter and Brian
Please go out with me. I'm just trying to make Neil jealous. I promise I'll pay and everything.
Yeah...uhh...that sounds cool but I'm gonna be in the hospital that night. (shoots himself in the stomach with a nail gun)
Meg and boy, "8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter"
Can I...Can I touch your hair? I'm gonna do it...I'm gonna touch it. Ooohoohoo it's like a sheep.
Stewie to Cleveland, "The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire"
My fellow Americans, I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did giggittygiggydoo that girl. I gashmogied her gaflabity with my googus. And I am sorry.
Quagmire, "The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire"
I didn't know there was going to be an open bar, and the guy really knew his stuff! He made me a mojito. I don't think it's a gay drink. Mo-ji-to...
Brian, "Brian the Bachelor"
Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you... very homosexually.
Peter, "Lethal Weapon"
Lois, my penis belongs on stage!
Peter, " The King is Dead"
I'm not gonna kill those kids. If they die I'll have nothing to watch on Wednesdays... other than the fine programs on Fox.
Peter, "Death is a Bitch"
More funny cartoon quotes:
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Drawn Together
Fairly Odd Parents
Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends
Futurama
Simpsons
Spongebob
South Park
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