Real Life (1979 film) Quotes

Real Life (1979 film) is a TV show that appeared on TV in 1970 . Real Life stopped airing in 1970.

It features Penelope Spheeris as producer.

Each episode of Real Life (1979 film) is 99 minutes long. Real Life (1979 film) is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Albert Brooks as Albert Brooks, Matthew Tobin as Dr. Hayward, Jennings Lang as Martin Brand, and J.A. Preston as Dr. Ted Cleary.

Real Life (1979 film) Quotes

Albert Brooks as Albert Brooks

• (Albert Brooks) "I don't remember a time in my whole life when I haven't been close to complete personality disintegration. And how the hell would you know what these people are feeling anyway? From your Mickey Mouse tests?"
• (Matthew Tobin) "Don't blame the tests for what they tell us."
• (Albert Brooks) "Oh, I don't blame them. They're great. Why don't we do more, huh? More tests. I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you, Nolan? Want to get that cup again? Come on, we'll get you lots of cups. Maybe a hundred cups. I'll tell you something about you people; you're great with cups, but what you don't have are balls. And I think if you ask any magician he'll tell you that cups without balls doesn't mean jack s***."

• (Albert Brooks) "Oh, look who's talking; the pee hoarder."

• (Albert Brooks) "Our research was so thorough the computers actually coughed up two perfect families. If I were a liar, I could tell you that we chose one over the other for complicated psychological reasons. But I'm a comedian, not a liar. I can afford the luxury of honesty. The Feltons lived in Wisconsin; the Yeagers lived in Arizona. YOU spend the winter in Wisconsin --"

• (Albert Brooks) "Only six of these cameras were ever made. Only five of them ever worked. We have four of those."

• (Albert Brooks) "During the time they stayed here, the 210 families underwent more than 145 separate tests, totaling more than 2,500 test hours. If these tests could be converted into eggs, it would be enough to feed a city the size of Saint Louis for more than two years, on a 2 egg person, per week basis. Sounds complicated? It was. And very expensive"

Jennings Lang as Martin Brand

• (Jennings Lang) "Albert, what the hell are you talking about? Look, let's not argue; say the family's fine, say the family's perfect. Let's talk about YOU for a minute. Look what YOU'VE done. You FAILED; that's what you did, you shmuck, you failed. You started out with this artsy-craftsy reality crap and what did you end up with? The NEWS, the god****ed NEWS. People get that for free. You think somebody's gonna hire a babysitter, take a taxicab, go all the way the hell downtown, walk to the box office, shell out four bucks, and say, "Here, here; here's my four dollars. What time does the news go on?""

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