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Three Amigos Quotes

Three Amigos is a TV show that debuted in 1970 . Three Amigos ended in 1970.

It features George Folsey Jr.; Lorne Michaels as producer, Elmer Bernstein; Randy Newman in charge of musical score, and Ronald W. Browne as head of cinematography.

Three Amigos is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Three Amigos is 103 minutes long. Three Amigos is distributed by Orion Pictures.

The cast includes: Tony Plana as Jefe, Alfonso Arau as El Guapo, Steve Martin as Lucky Day, Chevy Chase as Dusty Bottoms, Martin Short as Ned Nederlander, Patrice Martinez as Carmen, Jon Lovitz as Morty, Loyda Ramos as Conchita, Phil Hartman as Sam, and Phillip Gordon as Rodrigo.

Three Amigos Quotes

Steve Martin as Lucky Day

  • (Steve Martin) "Look up here."
  • (Steve Martin) "Not so fast El Guapo. Or I'll pump you so full of lead you'll be using your dick for a pencil."
  • (Alfonso Arau) "What do you mean?"
  • (Steve Martin) "I don't know."
  • (Tony Plana) "I think he means that if you --"
  • (Alfonso Arau) "Shut up."
  • (Steve Martin) "Well, we're just gonna have to use our brains."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Damn it."
  • (Steve Martin) "What we're talking about is money, real money, Amigo money. No dough, no show."
  • (Steve Martin) "Reading telegram: "Three Amigos, Hollywood, California. You are very great. 100,000 pesos. Come to Santa Poco put on show, stop. The In-famous El Guapo.""
  • (Chevy Chase) "What does that mean, in-famous?"
  • (Martin Short) "Oh, Dusty. In-famous is when you're MORE than famous. This man El Guapo, he's not just famous, he's IN-famous."
  • (Steve Martin) "100,000 pesos to perform with this El Guapo, who's probably the biggest actor to come out of Mexico."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Wow, in-famous? In-famous?"
  • (Steve Martin) "I'll come back one day"
  • (Patrice Martinez) "Why?"
  • (Steve Martin) "Oh, great. You killed the invisible swordsman."
  • (Martin Short) "He's dead, all right."
  • (Chevy Chase) "How was I supposed to know where he was?"
  • (Steve Martin) "You were supposed to fire up. We both fired up."
  • (Steve Martin) "It's like living with a six-year old."
  • (Steve Martin) "You dirt-eating piece of slime. You scum-sucking pig. You son of a motherless goat."
  • (Steve Martin) "Oh great. Real Bullets."
  • (Steve Martin) "In a way, all of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be the actual El Guapo."
  • (Steve Martin) "So I just wait here then?"
  • (Steve Martin) "Dear Little Buttercup, won't you stay a --"
  • (Unnamed) "While, While."
  • (Steve Martin) "My little butter cup has the sweetest."
  • (Unnamed) "Eh-smile."

Martin Short as Ned Nederlander

  • (Martin Short) "One time, Dorothy Gish was visiting me on the set of "Little Neddy, Grab Your Gun". And she came up to me and she looked me in the face and; I'd never met her, I'd just known her on films, you know, Dorothy Gish, Lillian's sister; and she looked me in the eyes and she said, "Young man, you have got it." And. Ah. Dorothy Gish. It's a true story."
  • (Martin Short) "What are we even doing in Mexico?"
  • (Martin Short) "We're not getting paid that's for sure."
  • (Bartender) "We don't have beer. Just tequila."
  • (Martin Short) "What's tequila?"
  • (Bartender) "Uh, it's like beer."
  • (Martin Short) "This is not a town of weaklings. You can use your strengths against El Guapo. Now, what is it that this town really does well?"
  • (Unnamed) "Hmmm. Hmmm? Ummm."
  • (Mama Sanchez) "We can sew."
  • (Chevy Chase) "There you go, you can sew."
  • (Martin Short) "Ah."
  • (Chevy Chase) "If only we had known this sooner."
  • (Martin Short) "Chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip -- LONNEEEEEEEE."
  • (Steve Martin) "Farley-farley-farley-farley-farley-farley -- Hafurrrrrrr --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Kinut, hoooooola widdle. Tas, habble -- sohn."
  • (Martin Short) "Does anybody have a watch? Preferably one with a second hand?"
  • (Tony Plana) "I got a stopwatch."
  • (Martin Short) "Chip, chip, chip, chip, chip,"
  • (Martin Short) "Nanny."
  • (Steve Martin) "Faaaaarley, Farley, Farley, Faaaaaaarley."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Hfurhrmrgurny"
  • (Martin Short) "My little Buttercup has the sweetest smile/ Dear little Buttercup, won't you stay a while?/ We'll settle down together in a cottage built for two/ Oh, Dear little Buttercup, I love you."
  • (Steve Martin) "C'mon, everybody."
  • (Martin Short) "My little Buttercup has the sweetest --"
  • (Unnamed) "Es-smile."
  • (Martin Short) "Dear little Buttercup, won't you stay a --"
  • (Unnamed) "While. While."
  • (Martin Short) "We'll settle down together in a cottage built for two, ohh --"
  • (Unnamed) "Dear."
  • (Martin Short) "Little Buttercup."
  • (Unnamed) "Sweet."
  • (Martin Short) "Little Buttercup."
  • (Bartender) "My little Buttercup."
  • (Martin Short) "I love you."
  • (Martin Short) "Sew, very old one. Sew like the wind."

Chevy Chase as Dusty Bottoms

  • (Chevy Chase) "No, we will not die like dogs. We will fight like lions. Because we are --"
  • (Martin Short) "The Three Amigos."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Hey, Lucky, what are you gonna do with your share of the money?"
  • (Steve Martin) "A car. A big, shiny silver car. I'll drive all over Hollywood. Show Flugleman a thing or two. What about you?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "New York. Maybe Paris. Champagne. Parties. I'll be a big shot for a while."
  • (Steve Martin) "Yeah."
  • (Chevy Chase) "How about you, Ned?"
  • (Martin Short) "I'm gonna start a foundation to help homeless children."
  • (Chevy Chase) "That occurred to me to do that at one point, too."
  • (Steve Martin) "Well, I meant that I would do that first, and then I would get a big shiny car."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Do you have anything here besides Mexican food?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Well I'd like to continue to work for free, Mr. Flugleman."
  • (Bandito #3) "If I don't get some tequila, somebody's gonna die."
  • (Steve Martin) "I'm Lucky Day."
  • (Martin Short) "I'm Ned Nederlander."
  • (Chevy Chase) "And I'm Dusty Bottoms. And together we are --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "The Three Amigos."
  • (Steve Martin) "Let's ride."
  • (Steve Martin) "Well, you slime eating dogs. You scum sucking pigs. You sons of a motherless goat."
  • (Bandito #2) "Son of a motherless goat? And who are you?"
  • (Martin Short) "Wherever there is injustice, you will find us. Wherever there is suffering, we'll be there."
  • (Martin Short) "Line."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find --"
  • (Martin Short) "Wherever liberty is threatened. You will find --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "The Three Amigos."
  • (Steve Martin) "Arriba. Ha Ha Ha Ha."
  • (Martin Short) "Arriba."
  • (Bandito #3) "Who are these monkeys?"
  • (Bandito #2) "I don't know."
  • (Bandito #3) "Should we kill them?"
  • (Bandito #2) "No. Let's go tell El Guapo what we have seen here."
  • (Steve Martin) "Ah Ha Ha. And don't come back."
  • (Unnamed) "Viva Los Amigos. Viva Los Amigos."
  • (Pablo) "Viva Los Amigos."
  • (Martin Short) "Well, good night."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Look at the little guy. He's tuckered out all ready."
  • (Martin Short) "Wha? Wha, what was that."
  • (Steve Martin) "Just a coyote."
  • (Martin Short) "Oh."
  • (Martin Short) "Just, I've never slept outside before --"
  • (Steve Martin) "Take it easy, take it easy. Dusty --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Arizona moon, keep shining. From the desert sky above. You know pretty soon, that big yellow moon, will light the way back, to the one you love --"
  • (Steve Martin) "Blue, Shadows, on the traiiiiiilllll. Little cowboy, close your eyeeesssss and dreeeaaaaammmm."
  • (Steve Martin) "All of the doggies are in the coral. All of your work is done. Just close your eyes, and dream, little pal, dream of, someone --"
  • (Martin Short) "Bom bom bom bom, bom bom bom bom, bom bom bom bom, bom bom bom bom. Bom bom bom bom, bom bom bom bom, bom bom bom bom, Bom bom bom bom."
  • (Martin Short) "Bluuuuuuueeee, Shadowwssss, on the traaaaaiiiiiillllll. Soft wind blowin', through the treeeeeeesssss, abooooovvvvveeee."
  • (Martin Short) "All of the other little cowboys, down in the bunkhouse now, so --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Close, your, eyes and --"
  • (Martin Short) "drrreeeeeeaaaaaammmmmmmm."
  • (Martin Short) "Good night, Lucky. Good night, Dusty."
  • (Steve Martin) "Good night, Ned."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Good night, Ned."
  • (Unnamed) "Good Night, Ned."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Good night, Lucky."
  • (Steve Martin) "Good night, Dusty."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Time for plan B. Plan A was to break into El Guapo's fortress."
  • (Patrice Martinez) "And that you have done, now what?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Well we really dont have a plan B. We didn't expect for the first plan to work. Sometimes you can overplan these things."
  • (Mr. Flugelman) "Do you know what "nada" means?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Isn't that a light chicken gravy?"
  • (Rosita) "Have you ever kissed a girl?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Oh yeah, sure. Lots of times."
  • (Rosita) "Would you like to kiss me?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Yeah."
  • (Rosita) "Well?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "What? Now? Here?"
  • (Rosita) "Well, we could take a walk and you could kiss me on the veranda."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Lips would be fine."

Tony Plana as Jefe

  • (Tony Plana) "Could it be that once again you are angry for something else, and you are taking it out on me?"
  • (Tony Plana) "I have put many beautiful pinatas in the storeroom, each of them filled with little suprises."
  • (Alfonso Arau) "Many pinatas?"
  • (Tony Plana) "Oh yes, many."
  • (Alfonso Arau) "Would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?"
  • (Tony Plana) "A what?"
  • (Alfonso Arau) "A plethora."
  • (Tony Plana) "Oh yes, you have a plethora."
  • (Alfonso Arau) "Jefe, what is a plethora?"
  • (Tony Plana) "Why, El Guapo?"
  • (Alfonso Arau) "Well, you told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has no idea what it means to have a plethora."
  • (Tony Plana) "Forgive me, El Guapo. I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education. But could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?"
  • (Tony Plana) "You wanna die with a man's gun. Not a little sissy gun like this."

Alfonso Arau as El Guapo

  • (Alfonso Arau) "Jefe, you do not understand women. You cannot force open the petals of a flower. When the flower is ready, it opens itself up to you."
  • (Tony Plana) "So when do you think Carmen will open up her flower to you?"
  • (Alfonso Arau) "Tonight, or I will kill her."
  • (Alfonso Arau) "Are gringos falling from the sky?"
  • (Tony Plana) "Yes, El Guapo."
  • (Alfonso Arau) "I like these guys. They are funny guys."
  • (Alfonso Arau) "Oh-ho, you --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Jose."
  • (Alfonso Arau) "Together, we --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Burned the village."
  • (Alfonso Arau) "Burned the village."
  • (Alfonso Arau) "And, uh --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "-- rrrrrrrrraped de horses."
  • (Alfonso Arau) "And we --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Rode off on de wimmin."
  • (Alfonso Arau) "Rode off on de wimmin."
  • (Alfonso Arau) "And uh --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Plundered."
  • (Alfonso Arau) "Plundered."
  • (Alfonso Arau) "And uh --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Pruned."
  • (Alfonso Arau) "-- pruned the, uh --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Hedges."
  • (Alfonso Arau) "-- hedges of --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Many small villages."

Loyda Ramos as Conchita

  • (Loyda Ramos) "Carmen, tonight you are to be El Guapo's woman. I am going to give you some hints about lovemaking with El Guapo."
  • (Patrice Martinez) "I would rather die first."
  • (Loyda Ramos) "Tell me, Carmen, do you know what foreplay is?"
  • (Patrice Martinez) "No --"
  • (Loyda Ramos) "Good. Neither does El Guapo."
  • (Loyda Ramos) "Do you know what foreplay is?"
  • (Patrice Martinez) "No."
  • (Loyda Ramos) "Good, neither does El Guapo."

Jon Lovitz as Morty

  • (Jon Lovitz) "Yo, cowboy. Why don't you come down here and sit on my lap? I wanna show you something."

Phil Hartman as Sam

  • (Phil Hartman) "Get a wardrobe over here right away; take the Amigos' clothes."

Patrice Martinez as Carmen

  • (Patrice Martinez) "Three Amigos, Goldsmith Pictures, Hollywood California --"
  • (Patrice Martinez) "We have seen your deeds, and think you are very great."
  • (Telegrapher) "seen your deeds --"
  • (Patrice Martinez) "We can pay you -- One Hundred Thousand Pesos."
  • (Phillip Gordon) "One Hundred Thousand Pesos?"
  • (Phillip Gordon) "We do not have a hundred thousand pesos."
  • (Patrice Martinez) "Don't worry Rodrigo, they will refuse it. But it would be an insult, not to offer it to them."
  • (Patrice Martinez) "One Hundred Thousand Pesos, if you come to Santo Poco, and put on a show of your strength, and stop the -- the --"
  • (Phillip Gordon) "Evil. Murdering --."
  • (Patrice Martinez) "Villaneous, El Guapo. So that once again, we can be, a peaceful village."
  • (Telegrapher) "Whew."
  • (Telegrapher) "23 pesos."
  • (Patrice Martinez) "We only have -- ten."
  • (Telegrapher) "Hm. Okay, I give you the ten peso version."
  • (Telegrapher) "You are very great. One Hundred Thousand Pesos, if you come to Santo Poco, put on show, stop the --"
  • (Telegrapher) "I put, infamous, El Guapo."
  • (Patrice Martinez) "Infamous?"
  • (Telegrapher) "Si'."
  • (Telegrapher) ". It means, evil, murdering, all like you said. And it will save you money."
  • (Patrice Martinez) "Oh, thank you."
  • (Telegrapher) "Com'o no."
  • (Telegrapher) "."
  • (Juanita) "Which one do you like?"
  • (Patrice Martinez) "I like the one that's not so smart."
  • (Juanita) "Which one is that?"

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