Intolerable Cruelty Quotes

Intolerable Cruelty is a TV show that debuted in 1970 . Intolerable Cruelty completed its run in 1970.

It features Coen brothers; Brian Grazer as producer, Carter Burwell in charge of musical score, and Roger Deakins as head of cinematography.

Intolerable Cruelty is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Intolerable Cruelty is 100 minutes long. Intolerable Cruelty is distributed by Universal Studios.

The cast includes: Edward Herrmann as Rex Rexroth, George Clooney as Miles Massey, Paul Adelstein as Wrigley, Richard Jenkins as Freddy Bender, Isabell O'Connor as Judge Marva Munson, Cedric the Entertainer as Gus Petch, Julia Duffy as Sarah Sorkin, Edward Herrmann as Rex, Stacey Travis as Bonnie Donaly, Geoffrey Rush as Donovan Donaly, Billy Bob Thornton as Howard D. Doyle, Tom Aldredge as Herb Myerson, Mia Cottet as Ramona Barcelona, Colin Linden as Father Scott, and Irwin Keyes as Wheezy Joe.

Intolerable Cruelty Quotes

George Clooney as Miles Massey

• (George Clooney) ""Dismiss your vows, your feigned tears, your flattery, for where a heart is hard, they make no battery -- " Mrs. Rexroth, do you know those lines?"
• (Richard Jenkins) "Objection, your honor."
• (Isabell O'Connor) "Grounds?"
• (Richard Jenkins) "Uh -- poetry recitation."

• (George Clooney) "A husband? That's an unusual request. Did she specify what kind of a husband she was looking for?"
• (Richard Jenkins) "Objection."
• (Isabell O'Connor) "Grounds?"
• (Richard Jenkins) "Uh -- Hearsay."
• (George Clooney) "On second hand, Your Honor, this is direct testimony about the Baron's own conversation."
• (Isabell O'Connor) "I'm going to allow it."
• (Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy) "She said she wanted a very rich husband. She wanted to know the businesses and the wealthses -- wealthses -- can I say it -- wealthses of our various eligible guests."

• (George Clooney) "Attila the Hun. Ivan the Terrible. Henry the Eighth. What do they have in common?"
• (Paul Adelstein) "Middle name?"

• (George Clooney) "So you propose, that in spite demonstrable infidelity on your part, your unoffending wife should be tossed out on her ear."
• (Edward Herrmann) "Is it possible?"
• (George Clooney) "It's a challenge."

• (George Clooney) "Tell me more about yourself."
• (Marylin Rexroth) "Alright, Miles. Let me tell you everything you need to know. You may think you're tough, but I eat men like you for breakfast."

• (George Clooney) "Hmm -- Hmm -- Yes, your husband did show remarkable foresight in taking those pictures. And, yes, absent a swimming pool, the presence of a pool man would appear to be suspicious. But, Madam, who is the real victim here? Let me suggest to you the following. Your husband, who on a prior occasion had slapped you, beat you."

• (George Clooney) "Your husband had told me you were the most beautiful woman he'd ever met. I didn't expect the most beautiful woman I'd ever met."
• (Marylin Rexroth) ""Dismiss your vows, your feigned tears, your flattery, for where a heart is hard they make no battery"."
• (George Clooney) ""Whoever loved that loved not at first sight?"."
• (Marylin Rexroth) "Now, you didn't ask me here to pick me up? You could be disbarred for that."
• (George Clooney) "Maybe I'm reckless."

• (George Clooney) "Sorry. I'm not omniscient."

• (George Clooney) "All right, so much for the ice-breakers. What are you after, Freddy?"
• (Richard Jenkins) "My client is prepared to settle for 50 percent of the marital assets."
• (George Clooney) "Why only 50, Freddy? Why not a hundred? While we're dreaming, why not 150? Are you familiar with "Kershner"?"
• (Richard Jenkins) ""Kershner" does not apply."
• (George Clooney) "Bring this to trial, we'll see if "Kershner" applies."
• (Edward Herrmann) "What's "Kershner"?"
• (George Clooney) "Please, let me handle this."
• (Richard Jenkins) ""Kershner" was in Kentucky."
• (George Clooney) ""Kershner" was in Kentucky?"
• (Richard Jenkins) ""Kershner" was in Kentucky."
• (George Clooney) "All right, Freddy, forget "Kershner". What's your bottom line?"
• (Richard Jenkins) "Primary residence, 30 percent of remaining assets."
• (George Clooney) "What, are you nuts? Have you forgotten "Kershner"?"

• (Miles' Receptionist) "You have a discovery hearing at five thirty for the Maxine Gopnick case."
• (George Clooney) "Discovery? Gopnick?"
• (Miles' Receptionist) "And a Lance Kelso called. He read your article about palimony settlements --"
• (George Clooney) "Lance Kelso."
• (Miles' Receptionist) "In same-sex partnerships and would like to schedule an appointment."
• (George Clooney) "Same-sex."
• (Miles' Receptionist) "Arthur Yardumian and his tax attorney want to reschedule their caucus for tomorrow."
• (George Clooney) "Yardumian?"
• (Miles' Receptionist) "Arthur had to fly to Atlanta for a deadbeat dad hearing."
• (George Clooney) "Atlanta."
• (Miles' Receptionist) "And your 10:30 is here: Rex Rexroth."
• (George Clooney) "Rex Rexroth?"

• (George Clooney) "Has she retained counsel?"
• (Edward Herrmann) "I don't know -- She has Rottweilers."
• (George Clooney) "Not a good sign."

• (Marylin Rexroth) "I could have you disbarred for that."
• (George Clooney) "It was worth it."
• (Marylin Rexroth) "A romantic divorce attorney."
• (George Clooney) "You fascinate me."

• (George Clooney) "Dump him. You can't nail his ass."
• (Marylin Rexroth) "Is that all?"
• (George Clooney) "No, that's not all."

• (George Clooney) "Your Honor, I call Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy."
• (Bailiff) "Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy."
• (Unnamed) "Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy."
• (Unnamed) "Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy."
• (Unnamed) "Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy."
• (Richard Jenkins) "Problem?"
• (Marylin Rexroth) "Puffy."
• (Unnamed) "Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy."
• (Paul Adelstein) "Tenzing Norgay."

• (George Clooney) "Hey, it's me. Any messages?"

• (George Clooney) "I'm fascinated by that creature. Richer than me? Well, she deserves every penny. And now she's single again. Excuse me."

• (George Clooney) "Marylin, think of me for a moment, not as an attorney, but as a friend."
• (Marylin Rexroth) "Does that mean you won't be charging us for the hour?"

• (George Clooney) "You fascinate me."

• (George Clooney) "Are you -- Wheezy Joe?"

• (George Clooney) "I saw an ad in the paper. "No-fault divorce. Two week divorce without a lawyer". Made me sick to my stomach. No-fault divorce."

• (George Clooney) "Looks like she's gone -- looks like she bought it."
• (Paul Adelstein) "Good stuff. There's no one here."
• (George Clooney) "Except for the rottweilers."
• (Paul Adelstein) "Sure, rottweilers."
• (George Clooney) "Go that way."

• (George Clooney) "I assume you're a carnivore."
• (Marylin Rexroth) "Oh, Mr. Massey. You have no idea."

• (George Clooney) "I intend to devote myself to pro-bono work in East Los Angeles, or one of those other -- God bless you all."
• (Paul Adelstein) "I love you, man."

• (George Clooney) "Let me rephrase. Mrs. Rexroth, have you ever been in love?"

• (Marylin Rexroth) "No, no, no, no, no, this is all wrong."
• (George Clooney) "What? Is it the kilt?"
• (Marylin Rexroth) "Do you love me?"
• (George Clooney) "More than anything."
• (Marylin Rexroth) "Can I trust you?"
• (George Clooney) "Yes, you can trust me."
• (George Clooney) "Darling, you're exposed."
• (Marylin Rexroth) "A sitting duck."

• (Miles' Receptionist) "Mr. Massey?"
• (George Clooney) "Please, no calls. I'm feeling a little fragile."
• (Miles' Receptionist) "I'm sorry, Mr. Massey, but I felt certain you'd want to know. Marilyn Rexroth wants to see you."
• (George Clooney) "Marilyn? Uh -- When did she?"
• (Miles' Receptionist) "She's here now."
• (George Clooney) "Is she armed?"
• (George Clooney) "Give me a minute."
• (George Clooney) "Marilyn -- how nice of you to. Marilyn -- shame on you. Marilyn -- what a lovely surprise."
• (George Clooney) "Marilyn, what a pleasure --"
• (George Clooney) "Who the hell are you?"
• (Marylin Rexroth) "Hello, Miles. So nice of you to see us."

• (George Clooney) "Please, sit. Relax. Consider this office your office, your haven, your war room for the duration of the campaign."
• (Edward Herrmann) "Thank you."
• (George Clooney) "Now, Sir -- Tell me your troubles."
• (Edward Herrmann) "Well --"

• (George Clooney) "I do."
• (Unnamed) "Jesus, will you let me finish? Have you never been married before?"

• (George Clooney) "I guess, something inside of me died, when I realized that you'd hired a goon to kill me."
• (Marylin Rexroth) "Wait a minute. You hired him to kill me."
• (Richard Jenkins) "No. Both of you wait a minute. Nobody hired anyone to kill anyone."
• (Paul Adelstein) "Hear, hear."
• (Richard Jenkins) "Apparently, from what I can gather, a burglar broke into your house."
• (Paul Adelstein) "Miles's house."
• (Richard Jenkins) "Whatever. A burglar broke in intending to loot the place, uh, repented, became despondent over his lifestyle and shot himself."

• (Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy) "She said she wanted a very rich husband. She wanted to know the businesses and the wealths-s; the wealths-s-s; Can I say this? Wealths of our various eligible guests."
• (George Clooney) "And did she have any other specifications?"
• (Richard Jenkins) "Objection, Your Honor. Inflammatory."
• (George Clooney) "What's good for the gander, Your Honor."
• (Richard Jenkins) "Is this a legal argument; What's good for the gander?"

• (George Clooney) "You're looking well, Marilyn."
• (Marylin Rexroth) "Hello Miles."
• (George Clooney) "Obscene wealth becomes you."
• (Marylin Rexroth) "I should have known you'd be here."
• (George Clooney) "Be here? I'm the key note speaker."
• (Marylin Rexroth) "How nice for you."
• (George Clooney) ""Nailing Your Spouse's Assets"."
• (Marylin Rexroth) "Excuse me?"
• (George Clooney) "My speech."
• (Marylin Rexroth) "Oh -- Oh, I'm sure you'll bring the house down."
• (George Clooney) "It's an easy crowd. At this point, I think you're probably the only person I can't teach anything to."
• (Marylin Rexroth) "Really?"

• (Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy) "Do you want some bones? Huh? Does Elsbieta want some bones? Has anyone any bones?"
• (George Clooney) "Does anyone have any bones? B; Uh, bones? Dog candies?"
• (Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy) "No, they are not candies. Milk-Bones. Hard, crunchy bones for the teeth."
• (George Clooney) "Uh, hard, uh; We'll attend to the dog later. Now, Baron; Where were we?"
• (Court Reporter) "She said that she required a husband. Oh, do you want some bones? Does Elsbieta want some bones? Has anyone any bones? Hard, crunchy bones for the --"

• (George Clooney) "She won't; She won't suffer, will she?"
• (Irwin Keyes) "Not unless you pay extra."

• (Marylin Rexroth) "What are you after Miles?"
• (George Clooney) "Well, I'm a lot like you. Just looking for an ass to mount."
• (Marylin Rexroth) "Well, don't look at mine."

Cedric the Entertainer as Gus Petch

• (Cedric the Entertainer) "What are you talking about? "Tell Tale Signs"? Look, I see a ass. I nail it. I don't sneak around sniffing the sheets. God damn it. I'm Gus Petch."

• (Cedric the Entertainer) "You want tact, call a tactician. You want an ass nailed, you come see Gus Petch."

• (Cedric the Entertainer) "I'm an ass nailer."
• (Marylin Rexroth) "So I see."
• (Cedric the Entertainer) "Gym four times a week. Hour and a half, plus stretching. Life circle. Life step. Life circuit. Gus Petch don't p*****foot around."

• (Cedric the Entertainer) "-- and those Rottweilers were a menace, man."
• (George Clooney) "I told you she had dogs."
• (Cedric the Entertainer) "You didn't tell me they had a hard on for Anus Africanus."

• (Marylin Rexroth) "I thought he'd outgrown trains."
• (Cedric the Entertainer) "They never grow up, they just get tubby."

• (Cedric the Entertainer) "I'm gonna nail your ass."

Paul Adelstein as Wrigley

• (Paul Adelstein) "Uh, I'll just have a, um, salad, please. Um, baby field greens."
• (Nero's Waitress) "What did you call me?"
• (Paul Adelstein) "Uh, no, I-I -- I-I didn't call you anything."
• (Nero's Waitress) "You want a salad?"
• (Paul Adelstein) "Yeah. Do you -- Do you have a, uh, green salad?"
• (Nero's Waitress) "What the f*** color would it be?"

• (Paul Adelstein) "Who are you looking for?"
• (George Clooney) "Tenzing Norgay."
• (Paul Adelstein) "Tenzing Norgay? That's someone she slept with?"
• (George Clooney) "I doubt it. Tenzing Norgay was the Sherpa that helped Edmund Hillary climb Mt. Everest."
• (Paul Adelstein) "And Marilyn knows him?"
• (George Clooney) "No, you idiot. Not the Tenzing Norgay. Her Tenzing Norgay."
• (Paul Adelstein) "I'm not sure that I actually follow that."
• (George Clooney) "Few great accomplishments are achieved single-handedly, Wrigley. Most have their Norgays. Marilyn Rexroth is even now climbing her Everest. I wanna find her Norgay."
• (Paul Adelstein) "But how do you determine which of the people on here are --"
• (George Clooney) "How do you spot a Norgay?"
• (Paul Adelstein) "Yeah."
• (George Clooney) "You start with the people with the funny names."

• (Paul Adelstein) "You had a guy break into her house and photograph her address book?"
• (George Clooney) "No, Wrigley. I happened to let a man know that I was interested in her address book."

• (Paul Adelstein) "Why are we eating here?"
• (Nero's Waitress) "What's his problem?"
• (George Clooney) "Just bring him an iceberg lettuce and a mealy tomato wedge smothered with French Dressing."
• (Nero's Waitress) "And for you?"
• (George Clooney) "Ham sandwich on stale rye bread. Lots of mayo, easy on the ham."
• (Nero's Waitress) "Slaw Cup?"
• (George Clooney) "What the hell."

• (Paul Adelstein) "Who needs a home when you've got a colostomy bag?"

• (Paul Adelstein) "Thank God you have the pre-nup."
• (George Clooney) "I have no pre-nup."
• (Paul Adelstein) "You have no pre-nup."
• (George Clooney) "I have no pre-nup."
• (Billy Bob Thornton) "You have no pre-nup."
• (George Clooney) "Aaaaaagh."

• (Paul Adelstein) "Rex Rexworth kept everything. You win, no compromise. Isn't that what you wanted? Good God, Miles. What are you looking for?"
• (George Clooney) "I don't know."

• (Paul Adelstein) "Rex, sit."

Billy Bob Thornton as Howard D. Doyle

• (Billy Bob Thornton) "This is for you, darlin'. This here is for you. This here is for you, baby. Every last little speck of it. I love you. I mean, I love you like a son of a bitch."

• (Billy Bob Thornton) "I love you. I trust you."
• (George Clooney) "It's the pre-nup. Brilliant."

Edward Herrmann as Rex

• (Edward Herrmann) "Have you sat before her before?"
• (George Clooney) "No. No, the judge sits first. Then we sit."
• (Edward Herrmann) "Well, have you sat after her before?"
• (Paul Adelstein) "Sat after her before? You mean, have we argued before her before?"
• (George Clooney) "The judge sits in judgment. The counsel argues before the judge."
• (Edward Herrmann) "So, have you argued before her before?"
• (Paul Adelstein) "Before her before, or before she sat before?"
• (Edward Herrmann) "Before her before. I said, before her before."
• (Paul Adelstein) "No, you said before she sat before."
• (Edward Herrmann) "I did at first, but --"
• (George Clooney) "Look, don't argue."
• (Edward Herrmann) "I'm not. I'm --"
• (Paul Adelstein) "No, you don't argue. We argue."
• (George Clooney) "Counsel argues."
• (Paul Adelstein) "You appear."
• (George Clooney) "The judge sits."
• (Paul Adelstein) "Then you sit."
• (George Clooney) "Or you stand in contempt."
• (Paul Adelstein) "And then we argue."
• (George Clooney) "The counsel argues."
• (Edward Herrmann) "Which you've done before."
• (George Clooney) "Which we've done before."
• (Edward Herrmann) "Ah."
• (Paul Adelstein) "But not before her."

• (Edward Herrmann) "My wife has me between a rock and a hard place."
• (George Clooney) "That's her job. You should respect that."

• (Edward Herrmann) "I'm not sick. You're the one who's sick."

Mia Cottet as Ramona Barcelona

• (Marylin Rexroth) "Hello, Darlings. Mwah. Mwah."
• (Mia Cottet) "So, you and Rex are --"
• (Marylin Rexroth) "Well, as my private investigator put it: We're gonna nail his ass."

Richard Jenkins as Freddy Bender

• (Richard Jenkins) "If you have a proposal to make, let's hear it."
• (George Clooney) "Well, at this point, my client is still prepared to consider reconciliation."
• (Richard Jenkins) "My client's ruled that out."
• (George Clooney) "My client is prepared to entertain an amicable dissolution to the marriage without prejudice."
• (Richard Jenkins) "That's a fart in a stiff wind."
• (George Clooney) "My client proposes a 30-day cooling-off period."
• (Richard Jenkins) "My client feels sufficiently dispassionate."
• (George Clooney) "My client asks that you not initiate proceedings pending his setting certain affairs in order."

Geoffrey Rush as Donovan Donaly

• (Marylin Rexroth) "Mr. Donaly? Excuse me. You are Donovan Donaly?"
• (Geoffrey Rush) "I'm in a meeting."

• (Geoffrey Rush) "I'm just a poor boy, though my story's seldom told."

• (Geoffrey Rush) "Bitch. That's my Daytime Television Lifetime Achievement Award."
• (Stacey Travis) "Cheesy bastard."
• (Geoffrey Rush) "You whore."

• (Geoffrey Rush) "That's my jag. That's my jag. That's my bloody Jag. You bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bye, bye baby."

• (Geoffrey Rush) "Explain this away, darling."

Julia Duffy as Sarah Sorkin

• (Julia Duffy) "Why don't you come out to Malibu and see my new beach house tomorrow?"
• (Mia Cottet) "I didn't know Dimitri had a beach house."
• (Julia Duffy) "Neither did I, until my lawyer found it. Quite a paper trail. Had it in the dog's name."

• (Marylin Rexroth) "Do you think he's eating enough?"
• (Julia Duffy) "Marylin."

• (Marylin Rexroth) "You could see people."
• (Julia Duffy) "Palimony. Son of a bitch Marvin Mitchelson. I'm telling you, honey, getting laid is financial Russian Roulette."

• (Julia Duffy) "Oh. Oohh."
• (Marylin Rexroth) "Are you alright, Sarah?"
• (Julia Duffy) "Yeah."
• (Marylin Rexroth) "What is it?"
• (Julia Duffy) "Peptic ulcer. I have medication but -- I can't take it before elective surgery."

Tom Aldredge as Herb Myerson

• (Tom Aldredge) "I'm going to talk to you about the God damn law. We serve the law. We honor the law. And sometimes, Counselor, we obey the law. But, Counselor, this is not one of those times."

Stacey Travis as Bonnie Donaly

• (Stacey Travis) "Donovan, is everything alright?"
• (Geoffrey Rush) "The production meeting was put off. Who's here?"
• (Stacey Travis) "Here?"
• (Geoffrey Rush) "Hmm -- Who owns that piece-of-s*** van out there?"
• (Stacey Travis) "Oh. It's just a guy. You know -- going door to door. Selling -- pool cleaner."
• (Geoffrey Rush) "So why'd he lock himself in the den?"
• (Stacey Travis) "Well, he -- Oh, God. Remember my friend Ollie?"
• (Geoffrey Rush) "Ollie Olerud? Short, cretinous wanker? Oh. Ollie's in there?"
• (Stacey Travis) "Yes."
• (Geoffrey Rush) "I see. Well, I'm glad he finally got himself a job. I'd always picked him as some sort of dead beat, but -- happy to be proved wrong. So he's selling pool cleaner now? Well -- this is the neighbourhood for that. Just door to door, running low on chlorine. That kind of thing. It's quite a coincidence him just dropping by and you two knowing each other so well."
• (Stacey Travis) "Donovan, please. Let's just all talk. I mean, I think --"
• (Ollie Olerud) "How you doin', Donovan? How you doin', man?"
• (Geoffrey Rush) "G'day, Ollie. I'm great. You?"
• (Ollie Olerud) "I can't complain man."
• (Geoffrey Rush) "Excellent. Well, let's get right down to it, then, shall we? We'll take a couple of vacuum hoses. We probably need a new filter round about now. Maybe -- Wait a minute, darling. Do we actually have a swimming pool?"

• (Stacey Travis) "You should have seen this coming you Australian piece of s***."

Colin Linden as Father Scott

• (Colin Linden) "In today's cynical world, it's so hard to take that great leap of faith aboard the ship of love and caring."

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