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Charade (1963 film) Quotes

Charade (1963 film) is a television show that debuted in 1970 . Charade ended its run in 1970.

It features Stanley Donen as producer, Henry Mancini in charge of musical score, and Charles Lang as head of cinematography.

Charade (1963 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Charade (1963 film) is 113 minutes long. Charade (1963 film) is distributed by Universal Pictures.

The cast includes: Audrey Hepburn as Reggie Lampert, Cary Grant as Peter Joshua, Dominique Minot as Sylvie Gaudel, Dominique Minot as Sylvie, Thomas Chelimsky as Jean-Louis Gaudet, George Kennedy as Herman Scobie, James Coburn as Tex Panthollow, Walter Matthau as Hamilton Bartholomew, and Ned Glass as Leopold Gideon.

Charade (1963 film) Quotes

Audrey Hepburn as Reggie Lampert

  • (Audrey Hepburn) "How do you shave in there?"
  • (Adam Canfield) "We didn't steal it, there's no law against stealing stolen money."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Of course there is."
  • (Adam Canfield) "There is?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Yes."
  • (Adam Canfield) "When did they pass such a silly law?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Do you know what's wrong with you?"
  • (Cary Grant) "No, what?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Nothing."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "You know, I can't help feeling sorry for Scobie. Wouldn't it be nice if we were like that?"
  • (Cary Grant) "What, like Scobie?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "No, Gene Kelly."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Why do people have to tell lies?"
  • (Cary Grant) "Usually it's because they want something. They are afraid the truth won't get it for them."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Here it comes, the fatherly talk. You forget I'm already a widow."
  • (Cary Grant) "Well, so was Juliet, at fifteen."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "I'm not fifteen."
  • (Cary Grant) "Well, that's your trouble. You're too old for me."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Are you really Carson Dyle's brother?"
  • (Alexander Dyle) "Would you like to see my passport?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Passport? What kind of proof is that?"
  • (Alexander Dyle) "Well, would you like to see where I was tattooed?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Yes."
  • (Alexander Dyle) "All right. We'll drive around that way."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Is there a Mrs. Canfield?"
  • (Adam Canfield) "Yes --"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "But we're divorced."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Hello, Mr. Dyle."
  • (Alexander Dyle) "Reggie?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Well, that's the only name I've got."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Oh, I don't know who anybody is --"
  • (Adam Canfield) "Reggie, I beg you. Just trust me once more."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Why should I?"
  • (Adam Canfield) "I can't think of a reason in the world why you should."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Of course, you won't be able to lie on your back for a while but then you can lie from any position, can't you?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Is there a Mrs. Cruikshank?"
  • (Adam Canfield) "Yes."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "But you're divorced."
  • (Adam Canfield) "No --"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Oh."
  • (Adam Canfield) "My mother, she lives in Detroit, you'd like her, she'd like you too."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Not until you proof to me that you're really Brian Crookshank."
  • (Brian Crookshank) "All right, one day next week I'll put it on a marriage license. How about that?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Quit stalling. I want some identification, now."
  • (Brian Crookshank) "I wouldn't lie on a license. I could go to jail --"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "You can't prove it to me, can you? You're still trying to; Marriage license. Did you say marriage license?"
  • (Brian Crookshank) "Now don't change the subject, just give me the stamps."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Oh. Oh, I love you Adam, Alex, Peter, Brian, whatever your name is. Oh, I love you. I hope we have a lot of boys and we can name them all after you."
  • (Brian Crookshank) "Before we start that, may I have the stamps?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Alex, how can you tell if anyone's lying or not?"
  • (Alexander Dyle) "You can't."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "There must be some way."
  • (Alexander Dyle) "No, no. There's an old riddle about two tribes of Indians. The Whitefeet always tell the truth, and the Blackfeet always lie. So one day you meet an Indian. You say, "Hey, Indian, what are you, a truthful Whitefoot or a lying Blackfoot? He says, "I'm a truthful Whitefoot." But which is he?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Well, why couldn't you just look at his feet?"
  • (Alexander Dyle) "Because he's wearing moccasins."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Well, then he's a truthful Whitefoot, of course."
  • (Alexander Dyle) "Well, why not a lying Blackfoot?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Which one are you?"
  • (Alexander Dyle) "A truthful Whitefoot."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Silvie, I am going to get a divorce."
  • (Dominique Minot) "From Charles?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "He's the only one husband I have."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Come in. I've got something that stings like crazy."
  • (Alexander Dyle) "You're the kind of girl who'd have something like that."
  • (Alexander Dyle) "Reggie, cut it out."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "OK."
  • (Alexander Dyle) "Well now what are you doing?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Cutting it out."
  • (Alexander Dyle) "Who told you to do that?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "You did."
  • (Alexander Dyle) "Oh I'm not through protesting yet."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Oh."
  • (Alexander Dyle) "Cut it out."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Alex, I think I love you."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "You're blocking my view."
  • (Cary Grant) "Ohh -- which view would you prefer?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "The one you're blocking."
  • (Alexander Dyle) "What do I have to do to satisfy you? Become the next victim?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "That's a start anyway."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Any minute now we could be assassinated. Would you do anything like that?"
  • (Cary Grant) "What, assassinate someone?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "No, swing down from there on a rope to save the woman you love. Like the Hunchback of Notre Dame."
  • (Cary Grant) "What? Who put that there?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Could I have one of those?"
  • (Cary Grant) "One of what?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "I think Tex did it."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "I'm in the book."
  • (Cary Grant) "Are you?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Charles is."
  • (Cary Grant) "Is there only one Charles Lampert?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Lord I hope so."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "I'm sorry I thought you were the murderer."
  • (Adam Canfield) "Wow, when you come on, you come on, don't you?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Oh, come on."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "We'll have lots of sons and name them all after you."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Well, wasn't it Shakespeare that said, "When strangers do meet in far off lands, they should e'er long see each other again"?"
  • (Cary Grant) "Shakespeare never said that."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "How do you know?"
  • (Cary Grant) "It's terrible. You just made it up."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Well, it sounds right --"
  • (Adam Canfield) "All right, get set for the story of my life."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Fiction or non-fiction?"
  • (Adam Canfield) "Eh, why don't you shut up?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Well."
  • (Adam Canfield) "Are you going to listen?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Go on --"
  • (Adam Canfield) "Now, when I was a young man, my father expected me to go into his business. Umbrella frames. That's what he made. A sensible business, I suppose, but I didn't have the sense in those days to be sensible."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "I suppose all this is leading somewhere --"
  • (Adam Canfield) "Well, it led me away from umbrella frames, for one thing. But that left me without any honest means of support."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "What do you mean?"
  • (Adam Canfield) "Well, in this highly competitive world, when a man has no profession, there isn't much choice, so I began looking for people who had more money than they needed -- including some they'd barely miss."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "You mean you're a thief?"
  • (Adam Canfield) "Well, that's not exactly the term I'd have chosen, but it sort of captures the spirit of the thing."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "I don't believe it."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "So it's goodbye Alexander Dyle and welcome home Peter Joshua."
  • (Adam Canfield) "Sorry the name is Adam Canfield."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Adam Canfield? Wonderful. Do you realize you've had three names in the past two days? I don't even know who I'm talking to any more."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "I can't stand these things -- it's like drinking coffee through a veil."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Which one are you?"
  • (Cary Grant) "A truthful white-foot."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Come in. Sit down."
  • (Cary Grant) "Why, do you want to look at my feet?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Yes."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Is there a Mrs. Dyle?"
  • (Alexander Dyle) "Yes --"
  • (Alexander Dyle) "but we're divorced."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "I thought that was Peter Joshua?"
  • (Alexander Dyle) "I am just as difficult to live with as he was."

Dominique Minot as Sylvie

  • (Dominique Minot) "That's no reason to get a divorce. With a rich husband and this year's clothes, you won't find it difficult to make some new friends."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Look, I admit I came to Paris to escape American Provincial, but that doesn't mean I'm ready for French Traditional."
  • (Dominique Minot) "It is infuriating that your unhappiness does not turn to fat."
  • (Dominique Minot) "I don't understand. Why do you want a divorce?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Because I don't love him and he doesn't love me."
  • (Dominique Minot) "That's no reason to get a divorce."
  • (Dominique Minot) "He must've known Charles pretty well."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "How can you tell?"
  • (Dominique Minot) "He's allergic to him."

George Kennedy as Herman Scobie

  • (Alexander Dyle) "How are you doing?"
  • (George Kennedy) "HOW DO YOU THINK?"
  • (Alexander Dyle) "If you get bored, try writing 'Love Thy Neighbor' a hundred times on the side of the building."

Cary Grant as Peter Joshua

  • (Cary Grant) "What are you doing in here?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "I'm having a nervous breakdown."
  • (Cary Grant) "Why do you think Tex did it?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Because I really suspect Gideon and it's always the person you don't suspect."
  • (Cary Grant) "Do women find it feminine to be so illogical, or can't they help it?"
  • (Cary Grant) "Is there a Mr. Lampert?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Yes."
  • (Cary Grant) "Good for you."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "No it isn't, I'm getting a divorce."
  • (Cary Grant) "Please. Not on my account."
  • (Cary Grant) "How about making me vice president in charge of cheering you up?"
  • (Cary Grant) "Well, here we are."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Where?"
  • (Cary Grant) "On the street where you live."
  • (Cary Grant) "How would you like a spanking?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "How would you like a punch in the nose? Stop treating me like a child."
  • (Cary Grant) "Do we know each other?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Why, do you think we're going to?"
  • (Cary Grant) "How would I know?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Because I already know an awful lot of people, so until one of them dies I couldn't possibly meet anyone else."
  • (Cary Grant) "Well, if anyone goes on the critical list, let me know."

James Coburn as Tex Panthollow

  • (James Coburn) "She batted them pretty little eyes at you, and you fell for it like an egg from a tall chicken."
  • (James Coburn) "Oh, poor old Herman. It seems like him and good luck always was strangers. Well, maybe now he'll meet up with his other hand some place."
  • (James Coburn) "Come on. My mama didn't raise no stupid children."

Thomas Chelimsky as Jean-Louis Gaudet

  • (Thomas Chelimsky) "Oh, la."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "Don't tell me, you didn't know it was loaded. Sylvie. Oh. Can't he do something constructive, like start an avalanche or something?"
  • (Thomas Chelimsky) "Are you a real cowboy?"
  • (James Coburn) "Sure am, kid."
  • (Thomas Chelimsky) "So where's your gun?"
  • (Ned Glass) "Will you put that thing away."

Walter Matthau as Hamilton Bartholomew

  • (Walter Matthau) "Mrs. Lampert, do you know what C.I.A. is?"
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "I don't suppose it's an airline, is it?"
  • (Walter Matthau) "Stop, Mrs. Lampert, or I'll kill you."
  • (Adam Canfield) "It won't get you the stamps, Dyle. You'll still have to come out, and I'm not likely to miss at this range."
  • (Walter Matthau) "Maybe not, but it takes a lot of bullets to kill me. They left me there with five in my leg and my stomach. They knew I was alive, but they left me there. I spent ten months in a German prison camp with nothing to stop the pain. They left me there. They deserved to die."
  • (Adam Canfield) "But I had nothing to do with it."
  • (Walter Matthau) "You've got the money now. It belongs to me. Mrs. Lampert, they knew I was alive, but they left me there. That's why I had to kill them. All four of them. Please believe me: I'll kill you too. It won't make any difference -- I've come too far to turn back. I swear I'll kill you."
  • (Walter Matthau) "I've got something here. I've got liverwurst, liverwurst, chicken, and liverwurst."
  • (Audrey Hepburn) "No, thank you."
  • (Walter Matthau) "Do you know what these things cost over here?"

Ned Glass as Leopold Gideon

  • (Ned Glass) "Well, you know I'd tell you if I had it."
  • (James Coburn) "Oh naturally, just like I'd tell you if I had it."
  • (Ned Glass) "Naturally. And that goes for Herman too."
  • (Ned Glass) "Naturally."

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