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Leave It to Beaver Quotes

Leave It to Beaver is a Sitcom, children's television series that appeared on TV in 1957 on CBS (1957-58). Leave It to Beaver stopped airing in 1963.

Leave It to Beaver aired for 6 seasons and 234 episodes. It features Joe Connelly as producer, David Kahn as theme composer, and Pete Rugolo (1957-62) as composer. Leave It to Beaver is created by Joe Connelly (producer).

Leave It to Beaver is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Leave It to Beaver is 30 minutes long. Leave It to Beaver is produced by Revue Studios and distributed by NBCUniversal Television Distribution. Spinoffs for this show include Still the Beaver.

Leave It to Beaver Quotes

  • (Wally Cleaver) "Did Dad hit ya?"
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "No."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Did he yell at ya?"
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "No."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Then why ya cryin'?"
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "Sometimes things get so messed up, crying is the only thing you can do."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Are you giving me the business?"
  • (Larry Mondello) "That was a great jungle movie, huh Beav?"
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "Yeah, but there was too much kissin' and not enough apes."
  • (June Cleaver) "Thank you dear. It's so sweet of you to be the thoughtful husband after all these years."
  • (Ward Cleaver) "Your very welcome. Besides the neighbors might be watching."
  • (Ward Cleaver) "Well, you boys are very quiet tonight. What are you thinking about?"
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "I was just thinkin' what I'd do if I was a pig eatin' peoples ribs."
  • (June Cleaver) "Beaver, please."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Boy, Beaver, wait'll the guys find out you were hanging around with a girl. They'll really give you the business."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "But gee, Wally, you hang around with girls and the guys don't give you the business."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Well, that's because I'm in high school. You can do a lot of stuff in high school without getting the business."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Gee Dad, how come you know so much about buying cars?"
  • (Ward Cleaver) "Well, Wally, as unbelievable as it may seem they did have cars in my younger days."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Used cars?"
  • (Ward Cleaver) "Ah, June, Gilbert's always talking about his parents. Have you ever met them?"
  • (June Cleaver) "Oh, I see her at the supermarket every once in a while. She seems like a calm sensible person."
  • (Ward Cleaver) "You can't really go by that. You might look the same way to her."
  • (Fred Rutherford) "Have to keep a firm hand on boys nowadays, Ward. My Clarence answered me back the other day. I smacked him right in the mouth. None of this psychology for me."
  • (Ward Cleaver) "It's that friend of Beaver's. You know, the one who always talks like he was just frightened by something."
  • (June Cleaver) "Whitey Whitney?"
  • (Ward Cleaver) "That's it."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "You wanna' mess around later?"
  • (Larry Mondello) "I can't, I'm grounded."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "How come?"
  • (Larry Mondello) "My father caught me eating pie in bed."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "Do you really like me, Wally?"
  • (Wally Cleaver) "I guess so."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "Do you like me a whole lot?"
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Look, don't get sloppy on me. I might just slug you one."
  • (Ward Cleaver) "Let's face it, June, Wally and Eddie have been friends for four or five years now; nothing's ever really happed."
  • (June Cleaver) "But Eddie has that look about him that makes you think something's always about to happen."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Beaver -- you got crumbs in the butter again. Boy, if there's one thing I can't stand, it's crumbs in the butter."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "Sorry Wally. That must have happened when it fell on the floor."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "What's the matter with you, Wally?"
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Whatta' you mean what's the matter with me?"
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "You look like that time you ate all those rotten eclairs you found in the trash behind the supermarket."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "I could use my own money, the twenty-five dollars I got in the bank."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "I thought you were saving that to go to college."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "Larry says he never heard of a college you could go to for twenty-five dollars."
  • (June Cleaver) "Wally, where are you going?"
  • (Wally Cleaver) "I'm going over to slug Eddie."
  • (June Cleaver) "That's no way to talk, this is Sunday."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "You're right, I'll wait 'til tomorrow and slug him in the cafeteria."
  • (Eddie Haskell) "Hey, guys, like my new vest? I think it brings out the Peter Lawford in me."
  • (Eddie Haskell) "Not me. Your father doesn't like me."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Why would you say that?"
  • (Eddie Haskell) "On account of the way he looks at me when he opens the door. Sometimes I think he'd be happier to see Kruschev standing there."
  • (Ward Cleaver) "Beaver, your mother and I are very disappointed in you."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "Cross my heart and hope to spit."
  • (June Cleaver) "Now Wally, I want you to go in the living room and pick up those orange peels that you left on the coffee table. If your father comes home and sees them he'll be in a terrible mood all through dinner."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Yeah, I don't want him hollerin' at me again."
  • (June Cleaver) "Hello Dear. I was upstairs, I didn't know you were home."
  • (Ward Cleaver) "Oh yes, the monster has returned to his cave."
  • (Fred Rutherford) "I hate to mention it, but this neighborhood's getting a little on the rough side."
  • (Ward Cleaver) "Oh?"
  • (Fred Rutherford) "Yes. Coming down the block just now, a kid yelled, "Hey skinhead" at me."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "We can't just say we're going to be friends. We gotta have an agreement or something."
  • (Larry Mondello) "Okay."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "I, Beaver Cleaver, swear to die for Larry Mondello and always stick up for him and never snitch on him and be his friend forever."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Yeah, every year the distance gets longer and the snow gets deeper."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Dry up, Beaver."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "I wouldn't wanna do anything to hurt God. He's got enough trouble with the Russians and all."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Hi Dad. I didn't do anything."
  • (Ward Cleaver) "Why do you say that?"
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Well, I don't know, but, uh, you have that look on your face like somebody did something."
  • (June Cleaver) "Eddie, would you care to stay for dinner? We're having roast beef."
  • (Eddie Haskell) "No thank you, Mrs. Cleaver. I really must be getting home. We're having squab this evening."
  • (Larry Mondello) "These here are Beaver's pigeons, which he named after his two teachers, which the cat ate, so he buried them."
  • (Gilbert Bates) "You know what she is, Beav? She's what you call a woman of the world."
  • (Mr. Foster) "Miss Rogers, A, Mr. Haskell, B+, Mr. Cleaver, A-, Mr. Rutherford, F."
  • (Clarence 'Lumpy' Rutherford) "An ?F?, Mr. Foster?"
  • (Mr. Foster) "Yes, Mr. Rutherford. It's the lowest grade they allow me to give."
  • (June Cleaver) "Dear, do you think all parents have this much trouble?"
  • (Ward Cleaver) "No, just parents with children."
  • (Larry Mondello) "Beaver punched me in the stomach, right where I almost had my operation."
  • (Richard Rickover) "I wish I was young enough to cry."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "Yeah, now the only place you can cry is in the movies where it's dark."
  • (Eddie Haskell) "Hey, that's tough, kid. Let me think. Maybe I can help you figure a way out of this."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Listen, Beav. At this point, I don't think you want to be taking advice from Eddie."
  • (Eddie Haskell) "Are you kidding? I've been in an out of every kind of trouble there is in school."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "Is Dad mad?"
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Yeah, but Mom's in there."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "What a dumb thing to do. I bet you wouldn't have done anything like this if Mom and Dad were here."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "Hey Wally, how come Dad's taking us out to dinner and a show?"
  • (Wally Cleaver) "I don't know; I think it's on account of togetherness; like you read about in the magazines. You know, it's supposed to make us a happy family and all that kind of junk."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "Couldn't we be a happy family just eatin' in the kitchen?"
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Na, that's no good. Ya' gotta' go out and show people your a happy family."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "How come Eddie's such a creepy guy?"
  • (Wally Cleaver) "He works at it."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Just watch what your sayin' Beaver or I'm liable to clop you one."
  • (Ward Cleaver) "Beaver, you know what Larry was doing was wrong. You could have stopped him."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "Gee, Dad, I have enough trouble keeping myself good without keeping all the other kids good."
  • (Ward Cleaver) "Sometimes I wish I had stayed single and raised silver foxes."
  • (Eddie Haskell) "Look Sam, if you can make the other guy feel like a goon first, then you don't feel like so much of a goon."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "I don't get that."
  • (Eddie Haskell) "Of course you don't. That's because you never went to kindergarten with a home permanent."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "You know something, Wally? I'd rather do nothin' with you than somethin' with anybody else."
  • (Eddie Haskell) "Gee, your kitchen always looks so clean."
  • (June Cleaver) "Why, thank you, Eddie."
  • (Eddie Haskell) "My mother says it looks as though you never do any work in here."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "Boy, I sure wish there was somebody in the family for me to yell at."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "That's your tough luck."
  • (Mr. Willet) "Mr. Whitney?"
  • (Hubert 'Whitey' Whitney) "Who, me?"
  • (Mr. Willet) "Yes. I spoke to you yesterday about making faces at Miss Hensler, didn't I?"
  • (Hubert 'Whitey' Whitney) "I'm not making faces Mr. Willet. I just can't help laughing when I look at her."
  • (June Cleaver) "Eddie seems to know a lot about the law."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Yeah, he told his father, in three years he's going over the wall."
  • (Ward Cleaver) "A man never gets so old, that he forgets how it was being a little boy."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "Lumpy Dumpy Rat Rat."
  • (Gilbert Bates) "There's nothin' sadder than seein' old people try to be happy."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "Violet Rutherford drinks gutter water."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Are you being a wise guy?"
  • (Ward Cleaver) "According to Greek Mythology, she's responsible for all of Man's troubles."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "She must be like Judy Hensler."
  • (Ward Cleaver) "How'd the fishing go Beav?"
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "Great Dad. We didn't catch any fish, but Larry and I saw a man slip on a wet rock and heard everything he said."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "Went to school. Ate lunch. Saw dead cat. Came home."
  • (Wally Cleaver) "I guess girls stop makin' ya' sick just about the same time baths stop makin' ya' sick."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "How will I know when it happens to me?"
  • (Wally Cleaver) "Well, one of these days when you're checkin' your own ears for dirt, girls will start lookin' good to ya'."
  • (Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver) "Gee Wally, that's swell."
  • (Eddie Haskell) "Your father gave me a funny look when I came in -- like I'm a teenage werewolf or something."

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