Bibleman Quotes

Bibleman is a Action film that first aired in 1995-2010 (original) . Bibleman ended in 1970.

Bibleman aired for 23 episodes. Bibleman is created by Willie Aames.

Bibleman is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Bibleman is approx. 40 minutes long. Bibleman is produced by Pamplin Entertainment.

Bibleman Quotes

• (Ludicrous (Steve Weatherford)) "-- Why do you call that thing a panic button? Cause, I mean, it's not really scary. And where'd you get it, Radio Barn?"
• (Dr. Fear) "What do you mean, not scary? This isn't some cheap video prop. This is a state-of-the-art sinister device. And, if you must know, I got it from the lowest authority."

• (Coats (Marc Wayne)) "-- Too bad Miles has to miss all the fun."
• (Coats (Marc Wayne)) "Sure you guys couldn't pull off a quick switch in the phone booth?"
• (Unnamed) "Get thee behind me, Coats. I'm not Superman, you know. But at least kryptonite won't faze me."

• (Prince of Pride) "That's the most hysterical thing about this whole show: We villains never win. We spend all that money on these costumes and this makeup, and Bibleman always beats us every single time."

• (Unnamed) "-- I can't believe I missed another fight scene."

• (Shadow of Doubt (Brian Lemmons)) "Ludicrous. Get in here."
• (Shadow of Doubt (Brian Lemmons)) "Now get off my foot."
• (Ludicrous (Steve Weatherford)) "You should consider making yourself into a hologram. My friend Rick, he wrote this program about that; it's very feasible with today's computers."
• (Shadow of Doubt (Brian Lemmons)) "Look, you big oaf, I'm a villain. I don't need a hologram of myself. Example: sinister laugh."
• (Shadow of Doubt (Brian Lemmons)) "There. Now stay out of sight, or you'll ruin a good fight scene."

• (Unnamed) "-- You've just been voted "Villain Least Likely To Succeed.""

• (Unnamed) "-- So, got any faults you wanna showcase in next week's issue of our comic book? Wrath? Envy? Lust? Gluttony? Avarice? Sloth?"
• (Unnamed) "Oh, I wouldn't want to draw all the attention to myself. I think we should probably focus on your faults."
• (Unnamed) "No. We gotta give UNICE her due. UNICE -- you wanna check your database for any spiritual deficiencies?"
• (Unnamed) "That will not compute. I'm too tired. Think I'll go crash."

• (Biblegirl) "Maybe we need a lesson in Christianity 101."

• (Unnamed) "-- That was exciting. We should do things like this more often. It was fun."
• (Unnamed) "No, UNICE. Our only concern should be doing God's will. Violence is never fun. Although I must admit it would make a perfect example for our comic book."

• (Unnamed) "-- The Prince of Pride hit you with an ego-stimulating, heat-radonic seismo-ray --."
• (Unnamed) "-- Creating an egoplasmic distortionary electro-field, which caused me to focus on myself instead of God. Insidious."
• (Unnamed) "INSIDIOUS? That's a big word."

• (Prince of Pride) "-- If it's worth doing, it's worth OVER-doing."

• (Ludicrous (Steve Weatherford)) "Excuse me, Mr. Shadow? You don't really need this because it's just a video prop. And those bricks aren't real. So you don't have to break through; you can just walk around."
• (Shadow of Doubt (Brian Lemmons)) "I know all that. I do it for effect, to be scarier."
• (Ludicrous (Steve Weatherford)) "It really wasn't that scary --"
• (Ludicrous (Steve Weatherford)) "-- You want me to hush up now, right?"

• (Unnamed) "You have trouble giving credit where it's due. Your mouth is bigger than your head."
• (Unnamed) "Oh, now wait a minute. That's not fair. My head is way bigger."
• (Unnamed) "I concur."
• (Unnamed) "No, wait a minute. I DON'T MEAN THAT. I --."

• (Unnamed) "What's the one common factor between that little girl and me?"
• (Unnamed) "You're both short?"
• (Unnamed) "Besides that -- If we trust our feelings at the moment, then we can be tricked. That's what happened to Kyla and me -- Well, we've got work to do."
• (Unnamed) "We?"
• (Unnamed) "Well, if you want me to have all the fun --"
• (Unnamed) "No, I'm there."

• (Dr. Fear) "-- Personally, I'd rather watch Barney."

• (Prince of Pride) "-- This almost feels good."

• (Ludicrous (Steve Weatherford)) "-- Do you remember this guy? He used to be, like, a different villain. But he wasn't really good as a bad guy, so he's gotta do it all over --"
• (Dr. Fear) "That's not it at all. I've simply graduated to a higher degree of evil."

• (Unnamed) "Man, you look larger than life."
• (Unnamed) "Yeah, I know. But that's the problem. These sketches draw attention to me instead of focusing on God. They should draw attention to Him. If I look too good, then that's bad, because people might get the wrong idea and think that I think I'm more important or something. I want to stay humble through this whole thing."

• (Unnamed) "This is hilarious."
• (Mr. Funky) "Good morning, good morning. It's Saturday morning. And you know what time it is. Time for MR. FUNKY'S WILD TIME. Rise and shine. Before we go and visit Schnooky and Bubbles, I want all you kids to -- jump up and down, scream as loud as you can, and run around the TV. Do exactly as Schnooky and Bubbles do."
• (Wacky Protester (Jef Scott)) "Oh, it is so clever."
• (Unnamed) "It's the #1 children's show in the nation."
• (Wacky Protester (Jef Scott)) "Well, I'm not surprised. It's so influential, so powerful --. I just got a brilliant idea. I could make my own show. Or take over this one. By using my multi-digital 24-track plasma-digitizing set, with a side of bleu cheese, I could control what Mr. Funky says and does."
• (Unnamed) "In other words, you're going to put words in Mr. Funky's mouth and nobody will know the difference?"
• (Wacky Protester (Jef Scott)) "Exactly. My Mr. Funky is going to tell children that authority figures are nothing but a bunch of fuddy-duddies, who are out there just to make sure nobody has any fun."
• (Unnamed) "Oh, this sounds good."
• (Wacky Protester (Jef Scott)) "Just imagine a nation of lying, self-willed, disobedient, rebellious, out-of-control brats. Not to mention their children."
• (Unnamed) "This could get out of control."
• (Wacky Protester (Jef Scott)) "Bingo. That's the plan."

• (Ludicrous (Steve Weatherford)) "-- Those minions of yours, do they really have to go through all that smoke-and-sparks stuff?"
• (Shadow of Doubt (Brian Lemmons)) "No, they just do it because it looks cool in the video."

• (Shadow of Doubt (Brian Lemmons)) "-- Just one last dose of my Doubt Toxins and B-B-Bibleman will be b-b-begging for mercy."
• (Ludicrous (Steve Weatherford)) "See, in actuality, Mr. Shadow doesn't stutter. It was supposed to be a joke, but it really wasn't that funny."
• (Shadow of Doubt (Brian Lemmons)) "Ludicrous. Out of the way. You're ruining the shot. Thank you --. And now for my Acme "Instant Minions." Don't leave Hades without them."
• (Shadow of Doubt (Brian Lemmons)) "Hi. May I help you? Today's special is Faith Fricassee, smothered in a lovely Cajun Doubt Sauce --. Missed me, missed me; now you gotta; never mind."

• (Unnamed) "I've been fighting my most difficult spiritual battle -- I'm speaking softly, because it's much more dramatic -- I'm supposed to be a leader, and yet I continue to -- Wow, I guess I really do need prayer."

• (Unnamed) "-- Ready the chamber; it's time for Bibleman."

• (Unnamed) "Uh-oh. I smell a music video coming on."

• (Unnamed) "Biblegirl, I've made modifications to your weapon."
• (Biblegirl) "What are they?"
• (Unnamed) "It's a molecular-ion/fusion-blaster."
• (Biblegirl) "Okay -- What's it do?"
• (Unnamed) "It blasts fused molecules. And remember, it's all fun and games until someone loses an ion."
• (Biblegirl) "In other words, it blows things up. Cool."

• (Prince of Pride) "I'm supposed to make people think about themselves instead of God. But that won't leave me any time to think about ME, and make myself look good."

• (Unnamed) "-- For your information, I am only a DIGITAL link; whereas you are the MISSING Link."
• (Dr. Fear) "Oh, stop it; you're cutting into my screen time."

• (Unnamed) "-- I have an idea."
• (Wacky Protester (Jef Scott)) "Silence. I'm thinking."
• (Unnamed) "I was just gonna suggest --"
• (Wacky Protester (Jef Scott)) "I don't need your suggestions right now."
• (Unnamed) "Why don't you just infiltrate?"
• (Wacky Protester (Jef Scott)) "Wait, I told you -- I don't -- What -- Wait. Hold on a second -- Wait. Why don't I just infiltrate. Oh, I have such brilliant ideas."
• (Unnamed) "Your brilliance puts me to shame."

• (Wacky Protester (Jef Scott)) "Look, they're having a spat."
• (Wacky Protester (Jef Scott)) "This is the best reality television show that I've ever seen. You know what? I should air this."
• (Unnamed) "Yeah, you'd get great ratings. We could call it BIBLE RIVALS."
• (Wacky Protester (Jef Scott)) "Or how about -- CHRISTIAN CONFLICTS?"
• (Unnamed) "Or what about -- SCHISM?"

• (Ludicrous (Steve Weatherford)) "-- Something smells, dude."
• (Prince of Pride) "Maybe it's because we live in a sewer."
• (Ludicrous (Steve Weatherford)) "-- Dude, you're so full of yourself."
• (Prince of Pride) "Thank you."

• (Prince of Pride) "I'm the Admiral of Arrogance, the Dean of Disdain, the Sultan of Smudge. I'm just too cool for my own good, baby."

• (Doctor Fear) "-- Presenting the Battle of the Ages. Brought to you by the Undisputed King of Evil. In this corner, wearing those tacky purple tights, our lightweight: Bibleman. Let's get ready to RUMBLE."
• (Unnamed) "-- Hey, you used to be another villain; didn't you?"
• (Doctor Fear) "Yes, but I'm trying something new."
• (Unnamed) "-- For a guy who just reinvented himself, you sure don't fight any better."
• (Doctor Fear) "Hey, you used to be on other shows; nobody's making fun of YOU."
• (Unnamed) "That's because those shows were network; this is HOMEVIDEO."

• (Unnamed) "-- I think that you're being attacked by fear, and I'm not surprised; because you're a leader, and the enemy wants to stop you. But you don't have to listen to them."

• (Shadow of Doubt (Brian Lemmons)) "Surprise, Bible-broom."
• (Unnamed) "I never was one for surprises, especially ones with rotten teeth. You really should floss, you know? Fallen angels are hardly entertaining. And now a word from my sponsor."
• (Shadow of Doubt (Brian Lemmons)) "Goodbye. Farewell. Parting is such a pain in the neck."

• (Prince of Pride) "-- You've got to be kidding."
• (Unnamed) "I'm a man in spandex. Do I look like I'm kidding?"

• (Dr. Fear) "-- Bibleman talks big now, but he won't talk so big when I start pushing his buttons."
• (Ludicrous (Steve Weatherford)) "Hey, pushing buttons? That isn't how you scare people. What you need is to watch some of their old sitcoms. Here's a creepy one; it's about this college guy, who's also a nanny. And the scariest part is, he's got this stupid sidekick --."
• (Dr. Fear) "Give me that. I'll pick the program; you make the popcorn."

• (Dr. Fear) "-- Okay, it's time for our gratuitous explanation. Wanna tell the audience how this works?"

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