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Funny Quotes About What Does Mother Say

Stuart Larkin was a character on Mad TV. He was best known for his funny quotes about mother which were often titled as "What does mother say?" among its viewers. If you haven't seen the skit, Stuart is a little troublemaker and whenever he does something wrong, the teacher or whomever says, "Now what does your mother say about this?" or something similar. Obviously, his answer is always something silly. Of course, there are many other situations outlined below in which he isn't asked a question at all and simply states what his mother says about things.

Stuart Larkin: My mom said it's okay to talk to lesbians because they take good care of their cats and have a can-do attitude.
Stuart Larkin: [talking to the Tooth Fairy] Don't jump on the bed. My mom says only Italians do that.
Doreen Larkin: What does mama say about the smoking?
Stuart Larkin: Smoking is for Europeans and white trash.
Doreen Larkin: What does mama say about sliding down the banister?
Stuart Larkin: Don't slide down the banister because you'll injure your googoo and that's all some men have going for them.
Doreen Larkin: What does mama say about little boys who aren't polite?
Stuart Larkin: Little boys who aren't polite give the pro-choice a better reason to exist.
Doreen Larkin: What does mama say about lying?
Stuart Larkin: Little boys who lie should expect tragedy to visit them on a regular basis.
Doreen Larkin: What does mama say about swearing?
Stuart Larkin: Mama says, little boys who swear grow up to Democrats.
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