Poetry
Quotes
Stuart Larkin Mad TV Quotes
Well, do you know what you want to eat?
Stuart Larkin:
A happy meal.
Doreen Larkin:
Stuart, it's a Chinese restaurant, they don't make the happy meal.
Stuart Larkin: [growling]
Then I hate the Chinese.
Doreen Larkin:
Stuart, I have never said anything racist in front of you.
Stuart Larkin:
Mmmhmmm, you said that Canadians are wusses and that black people aren't scary as long as they keep their hair neat. French are smelly and can't fight... oh, and you said that the Chinese were ugly.
Dooooooon't.
Stuart Larkin
Aunt Noreen:
Happy Birthday, Stuart! Do you remember which aunt I am?
Stuart Larkin:
The alcoholic?
Aunt Noreen:
No...
Stuart Larkin:
The one who lives with her 'FRIEND', Linda?
Aunt Noreen:
No...
Stuart Larkin:
Then you must be the ugly one.
Doreen Larkin:
Stuart, apologize to your Aunt Noreen!
Stuart Larkin:
I'm sorry you're ugly.
Brenda:
So, Stuart, I hear your dad left on a Thursday, huh?
Stuart Larkin:
Um-hum.
Brenda:
Well, how does that makes you feel?
Stuart Larkin: [suspiciously]
Why?
Brenda:
Well, I grew up without a father too and I just wanted to tell you... You know, sweetie, it's not your fault.
Stuart Larkin: [pushes Brenda off the couch with his feet]
Aaaaahhh!
Brenda:
Stuart, that was not very nice.
Stuart Larkin: [reaching out his foot towards Brenda]
Say that into the microphone!
Brenda:
If I do, will we be friends?
Stuart Larkin: [putting his foot in front of his mouth, sing-songy]
I don't know.
Brenda:
Well, I don't need to be your friend, then. I'll just sit here and read a magazine.
Stuart Larkin:
Where's Mr. Pip's goo-goo?
Various:
His what?
Stuart Larkin:
His goo-goo. His goo-goo's not there.
Various:
I'm sorry, I don't understand...
Doreen Larkin:
Well, he's talking about his goo-goo, his ding-a-ling, duh!
Stay away from my Danger!
Stuart Larkin
T-Ball instructor:
Now, Stuart, you have to get angry and swing at the ball. What makes you angry , Stuart?
Stuart Larkin: [eyes narrow, voice becomes a growling whisper]
The *world*.
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