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Funny Quotes About Being Drunk - Page 2

There's nothing like going to bed with a beautiful blonde after a night out. But I hate waking up the next morning next to a blonde that looks like Jack Black.
Willy Starring
I always get drunk when I'm sad. The vomitting takes my mind off the problems.
Tom Wallace
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
Dean Martin
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Frank Sinatra
A drink a day keeps the shrink away.
Edward Abbey
I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.
Bette Midler
An alcoholic is someone who can't control their drinking. I drink all the time, but I don't want to stop.
Wally Hamming
A young man once asked me, "Why do you drink so much wine?" so I answered, because I hear it so much I have to get rid of it somehow.
Robert Flemming, a Psychiatrist
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More alcohol quotes:
Beer - About drinking beer.