Poetry and Quotations

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Funny Alcohol Quotes

Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Winston Churchill

Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
Mitch Hedberg

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin

I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Mega Jones

The best beer in the world, is the open bottle in your hand!
Danny Jansen

Irish Coffee is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four adult food groups: fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol.
Anonymous

There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them.
Terry Pratchett

Trumpets are a bit more adventurous; they're drunk! Trumpeters are generally drunk. It wets their whistle.
Paul McCartney

It was a woman who drove me to drink and I never got the chance to thank her.
W.C. Fields

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Anonymous

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More alcohol quotes

Funny drunk quotes
Funny drinking quotes