Taxi (TV series) Quotes

Taxi is a television program that debuted in 1978 on American Broadcasting Company, and NBC. Taxi completed its run in 1983.

Taxi was on for 5 seasons and 114 episodes. It features Bob James (musician) as theme composer. Taxi is created by James L. Brooks; Stan Daniels; David Davis; Ed. Weinberger.

Taxi is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Taxi is 24 minutes long. Taxi is produced by John Charles Walters Company; Paramount Television and distributed by Paramount Domestic Television, and CBS Television Distribution; The Program Exchange.

Taxi Quotes

• (Louie De Palma) "Ignatowski. Where have you been all week?"
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "I don't work weekends."
• (Louie De Palma) "You been gone nine days."
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "Yeah --"
• (Tony Banta) "Jim, weekends are only two days."
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "Oh, I thought we'd switched to the metric system."

• (Louie De Palma) "Jim, your father is no longer with us."
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "He never was. He lives in Boston."
• (Louie De Palma) "No, I mean, he's gone on to his final resting place."
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "A condo in Palm Beach?"

• (Bobby Wheeler) "We were wondering if you would join us for a few minutes?"
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "Well, what did you decide?"

• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "I wore flowers in my hair and meditated for hours on end. I was finding God all over the place -- He kept ditching me."

• (Louie De Palma) "What're you listening to, Banta?"
• (Tony Banta) "I can be here if I want to."
• (Louie De Palma) "No, you can't."
• (Tony Banta) "This is America, Louie."
• (Louie De Palma) "No, it isn't."
• (Tony Banta) "It isn't?"
• (Louie De Palma) "No. This is Louieland. You want America, go outside."

• (Alex Rieger) "Jim, when I said you were a flake, I meant you'd done some weird things."
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "Name one."
• (Alex Rieger) "You lived in a condemned building for five years."
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "You're confusing flakiness with style."
• (Alex Rieger) "You kept a horse named Gary in your bedroom."
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "Not everyone has a guest room, Alex."

• (Louie De Palma) "Do you know what the difference is between people like you and people like me, Nardo?"
• (Alex Rieger) "Yeah, two million years of evolution."

• (Latka Gravas) "Thank you very much."

• (Alex Rieger) "We're arguing because we care too much, and we're breaking up because we don't care enough."

• (Latka Gravas) "In America, a man can become another O.J. Simpson."
• (Latka's Mother) "Who is O.J.Simpson?"
• (Latka Gravas) "The JUICE."

• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "Eyes --"
• (Elaine Nardo) "No, don't put two."
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "Oh, they mean color, don't they?"

• (Louie De Palma) "That dame is older than the Continental Shelf."

• (Alex Rieger) "Why'd you change your name to Ignatowski?"
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "Try saying it backwards."
• (Bobby Wheeler) "Ix-wah-tangy."
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "That's nowhere near Starchild, is it?"

• ("Reverend Jim" Ignatowski) "I'm "Fill in your name," but you can call me "Nickname.""

• (Alex Rieger) "Remember, you haven't lost a daughter; you've gained a ton."

• (Louie De Palma) "Whenever I hear the word "marriage," I say, "Check, please.""

• (Alex Rieger) "It's so quiet up here you can hear yourself think."
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "I don't hear anything."

• (Tony Banta) "You mean, they didn't tell you they were going to tear down your apartment building?"
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "Well, you put up with a few minor inconveniences when you live in a condemned building."

• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "If you find yourself in a confusing situation, simply laugh knowingly and walk away."

• (Elaine Nardo) "Jim, what are you doing here? Where did this model castle come from?"
• ("Reverend Jim" Ignatowski) "It's yours, I made it for you. See Elaine, your fairy tale can come true. Look here's your Castle, and your Prince awaits. Elaine, I know I'm not the most glamorous guy in the world but --"
• (Elaine Nardo) "You are truly a sweet decent man."
• ("Reverend Jim" Ignatowski) "Once there was a time when that was enough."

• (Louie De Palma) "All dispatchers are scum."

• (Monica Banta) "You must be Louie."
• (Louie De Palma) "How did you know my name?"
• (Monica Banta) "I only had three people described to me. One was smart, one was good-looking, and one was you."

• (Alex Rieger) "One thing about being a cabbie is that you don't have to worry about being fired from a good job."

• (Zena Sherman) "You got an attitude problem, you got a personality problem, you got a sensitivity problem, you got an emotional problem, you got a maturity problem, you got a sexual problem --"
• (Louie De Palma) "What do you mean?"
• (Zena Sherman) "That's all you think about."
• (Louie De Palma) "And that's the problem?"
• (Zena Sherman) "Yeah."
• (Louie De Palma) "Whew."

• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "Bobby, do you spell your name with one "o" or two?"
• (Bobby Wheeler) "One."
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "I'll get it right next time, "Booby"."

• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "The ability to witness two men stand toe to toe in the spirit of sportsmanship and pummel each other into insensibility is what separates us from the animals."

• (Vivian Harrow) "Honey, I've been everything from Little Bo Peep to Darth Vader."

• (Louie De Palma) "You scum. You lowlife. You creep. I'm gonna make you regret the day you were born. I'm gonna make sure that every night, you get the dirtiest, smelliest cab in the garage, and if there isn't one that's dirty and smelly, then I'm gonna get in and smelly and dirty it up myself. In the wintertime, your cab will have no heater. In the summertime, your windows won't roll down. I'm gonna make you the second most miserable cab driver in all of New York City."
• (Louie De Palma) "The MOST miserable cab driver in all of New York City is whoever lets him down or feeds him."

• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "I went to Woodstock."
• (Bobby Wheeler) "Oh yeah? You went to Woodstock?"
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "Yep, half a million people gathered together in peace and harmony, grooving to Joni and The Who -- hey, you know, if I hadn't gone, there would have only been 499,999 people -- lucky for them I went."

• (Louie De Palma) "Hey, Bobby, I hope someone slams a door on your face, you sneeze, and your head explodes."

• (Louie De Palma) "He'll be back -- they all come back -- the only one who never came back was James Caan -- and I'm still waitin'."

• (Alex Rieger) "Jim, are you alright?"
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "Yeah -- who are you?"
• (Alex Rieger) "I'm Alex. We're friends, we work together."
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "What are we, lumberjacks?"
• (Alex Rieger) "No, we're cabdrivers."
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "I bet we don't do much business up here."

• (Jim) "When I think of me, I smile."

• (Alex Rieger) "I'm going to die as I've lived, wearing a green shirt, a catcher's mask, and dancing the can can."

• ("Reverend Jim" Ignatowski) "Pssssttt -- what does the yellow light mean?"
• (Bobby Wheeler) ""Slow down.""
• ("Reverend Jim" Ignatowski) "What -- does -- the -- yellow -- light -- mean?"
• (Bobby Wheeler) ""Slow down"."
• ("Reverend Jim" Ignatowski) "Whaaaat -- dooooeeees -- theeeee -- yeeeel-looowwww -- liiiiight -- meeeeaaan?"

• (Alex Rieger) "I'm not really a cab driver. I'm just waiting for something better to come along. You know, like death."

• (Louie De Palma) "Ignatowski's got a father? There goes my spore theory."

• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "You know, you really need to clean up those bathrooms."
• (Alex Rieger) "You just came from the kitchen."
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "Thank God."

• (Alex Rieger) "Jim, when are you finally going to have some pride and stand up for yourself?"
• ("Reverend" Jim Ignatowski) "August."

• (Elaine Nardo) "What's wrong with her?"
• (Louie De Palma) "Female problems, she's starting not to look like one."

• (Louie De Palma) "Mr. Rieger isn't here right now. Would you like to wait in my office?"
• (Charlotte Reiger) "I'd rather be the only woman on a Greek freighter."

• (Louie De Palma) "Huskies, I hate 'em."

• (Louie De Palma) "Some men climb mountains, others date 'em."

• (Louie De Palma) "I know what love is cuz I watch talk shows. Love is the end of happiness."

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