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Soldier in the Rain Quotes

Soldier in the Rain is a TV program that debuted in 1970 . Soldier in the Rain stopped airing in 1970.

It features Martin Jurow as producer, Henry Mancini in charge of musical score, and Philip H. Lathrop as head of cinematography.

Soldier in the Rain is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Soldier in the Rain is 96 minutes long. Soldier in the Rain is distributed by Allied Artists Pictures Corporation.

The cast includes: Jackie Gleason as Slaughter, Steve McQueen as Clay, Tuesday Weld as Bobby Jo Pepperdine, Tony Bill as Pfc. Jerry Meltzer, and Tom Poston as Lt. Magee.

Soldier in the Rain Quotes

Tony Bill as Pfc. Jerry Meltzer

  • (Tony Bill) "It's just like they say: "Drinking and gasoline don't mix.""
  • (Tuesday Weld) "Well, we ain't been drinkin' gasoline."

Steve McQueen as Clay

  • (Steve McQueen) "Stay off my mattresses."
  • (Steve McQueen) "See ya later, Maxwell"
  • (Jackie Gleason) "Until that time, Eustice, until that time"
  • (Steve McQueen) "FBI oughtta' investigate Sgt. Priest. I think he's an escaped war criminal."
  • (Steve McQueen) "Boy, what a combination. You and I against the world. Maxwell, if we were in business together, you could retire when you're forty."
  • (Jackie Gleason) "I'm already past 40 -- And, I'm not getting any younger. I'm in the twilight of my years. And every minute is precious. Every second counts. Of necessity, my very existence depends on prompt and immediate action. To wait is to ponder. To ponder is to waste. And Eustis, to waste is a mortal sin. You understand?"

Jackie Gleason as Slaughter

  • (Jackie Gleason) "Is that all you'll be needing, Lieutenant?"
  • (Tom Poston) "Ah, as long as I've got you on the phone, there is one thing --"
  • (Jackie Gleason) "What's the poop, Lieutenant?"
  • (Tom Poston) "There's something on my big toe -- It looks like a corn, but it's too small to be a corn."
  • (Jackie Gleason) "Oh, yes, we call those "semi-corns." Hah. Pesky little things, aren't they?"
  • (Tom Poston) "Uh, anything I can do for it?"
  • (Jackie Gleason) "I suggest you just soak your feet in sauerkraut juice."
  • (Tom Poston) ""Sauerkraut juice"?"
  • (Jackie Gleason) "Morning and night. You get a small tub, and you fill it with sauerkraut juice, and you stand in it."
  • (Tom Poston) "You did say "sauerkraut juice"?"
  • (Jackie Gleason) "Room temperature."
  • (Tom Poston) "Check. Thank you, Major."
  • (Jackie Gleason) "Thank YOU, Lieutenant."
  • (Jackie Gleason) "You know, Eustis, all men are vain in one way or another. I happen to be a secret narcissist."
  • (Steve McQueen) "Really? Well, Maxwell, I thought you was nutty about girls as anybody else."
  • (Jackie Gleason) ""Narcissist" is a ten-letter word meaning a person who likes to admire himself --"
  • (Jackie Gleason) "Let me tell you something, my friend: being a fat narcissist isn't easy."
  • (Jackie Gleason) "The machine prefers cash."
  • (Jackie Gleason) "The world's outside that window, Eustis, and it scares me. It's awfully big out there."
  • (Steve McQueen) "You don't make no sense at all, Maxwell. You ain't scared of nothin'."
  • (Jackie Gleason) "Oh, yes I am. You forget, I was a civilian once."
  • (Steve McQueen) "It'll be different now; you'll see."
  • (Jackie Gleason) "I doubt it. Memories are still very strong -- Childhood, growing up. "Fat boy on the block." I was always fat, Eustis. Thyroid condition. Fat baby, fat child --"
  • (Steve McQueen) "Well, if you ask me, I'd say you're just kinda' plump, ya' know? Pleasingly."
  • (Jackie Gleason) "I am fat, Eustis."
  • (Steve McQueen) "Come on, Maxwell, I'm askin' ya'. Please. Why, you're too smart to stay in the stupid Army."
  • (Jackie Gleason) "I like the "stupid Army." It's my home -- But it's not yours. So you go and make your millions, and I'll wish you joy."
  • (Steve McQueen) "Well, you can't stay in the Army forever, Maxwell."
  • (Jackie Gleason) "I know. And when that day comes, I know just the place where we can retire."
  • (Steve McQueen) "You do? Where is it?"
  • (Jackie Gleason) "It's far -- Far out in the Pacific. I saw it once, during the war. It's a little island; green, lush, tropical, with a long white beach shining in the sun -- People are friendly, kind, generous, and round. And all the girls are slim and round, with bright eyes, and smiles that would melt your heart. Wait'll you see them: long legs, flat stomachs, and round, firm breasts that tilt up."
  • (Steve McQueen) ""Up"?"
  • (Jackie Gleason) "Up."
  • (Steve McQueen) "Whew, fantastic -- What do they wear?"
  • (Jackie Gleason) "Nothing -- Absolutely nothing."
  • (Jackie Gleason) "After Clay slices his golf ball onto the green by standing at right angles to the green on Slaughter's instructions after slicing every ball he hits, the balls rolls onto the green and bumps into Slaughter's ball which is already there, and comes to rest against it with a dinging sound effect like when a cash register drawer is opened: Hoooo-weee."
  • (Steve McQueen) "What did I do right?"
  • (Frances McCoy) "Oh, they're both together."
  • (Jackie Gleason) "It's the mating season."
  • (Jackie Gleason) "Let me tell you something, my friend: being a fat narcissist isn't easy."
  • (Jackie Gleason) "One cotton candy, please."
  • (Tuesday Weld) "Oh, I just LOVE watchin' 'em make it. Don't you?"
  • (Jackie Gleason) "A gossamer fantasy; the stuff dreams are made of."
  • (Tuesday Weld) "Boy, you sure talk funny."
  • (Jackie Gleason) "Honor bright."

Tuesday Weld as Bobby Jo Pepperdine

  • (Tuesday Weld) "You know what you were like? You were like Randolph Scott on the late, late movies -- A fat Randolph Scott."
  • (Jackie Gleason) ""A fat Randolph Scott"? -- Miss Pepperdine, you certainly have a faculty for searching out and selecting just the right compliment."
  • (Tuesday Weld) "You want another beer, too?"
  • (Jackie Gleason) "I'd love one, Miss Pepperdine."
  • (Steve McQueen) "What about your diet, Maxwell?"
  • (Jackie Gleason) "I have never ceased trying to lose weight, Eustis. But I'm not gonna' try to become a fanatic about it. I've done enough exercise this morning to burn up a car-load of calories. I can afford to pamper myself."
  • (Tuesday Weld) "I guess I ain't such a prize, am I?"
  • (Jackie Gleason) "Who is, Miss Pepperdine, who is?"

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