Mole Hunt Quotes

Mole Hunt is a television show that debuted in 1970 . Mole Hunt ended its run in 1970.

Mole Hunt Quotes

• (Sterling Archer) "God, it's like my brain's that tree and you're those little cookie elves."

• (Unnamed) "Sterling Archer. Code name Duchess. Known from Berlin to Bangkok as the world's most dangerous spy."

• (Malory) "The thought of me dead gives you an erection?"
• (Sterling Archer) "No, just half of one. The other half would have really missed you."

• (Sterling Archer) "Uh, apology accepted, ass-douche."
• (Agent Lana Kane) "Call him that again."
• (Sterling Archer) "Make me."
• (Agent Lana Kane) "What?"
• (Sterling Archer) "What?"

• (Malory Archer) "Have I made myself clear?"
• (Sterling Archer) "You're looking for the answer 'yes'?"
• (Malory Archer) "Yes."
• (Sterling Archer) "Then -- yes."

• (Crenshaw) "Do you think this is a game?"
• (Sterling Archer) "No, I think Jenga is a game."

• (Sterling Archer) "Mother, look out. Krenshaw is a mole."
• (Malory Archer) "Oh Pam's just full of crap as she is carbohydrates. Now --"
• (Unnamed) "Not this time you impossible bitch."
• (Unnamed) "Also, you should all be nicer to Pam."

• (Sterling Archer) "Thanks for nothing, Carol. Now I have to break into ISIS in my new 900$ turtleneck and if it gets ruined I'll -- make her drink heavy cream. That -- Carol."

• (Sterling Archer) "No, no, no. Do not wind her up, that is a big gun and she is baby crazy."
• (Agent Lana Kane) "Baby crazy."
• (Sterling Archer) "That's why I dumped her."
• (Agent Lana Kane) "You little, you sack of s***, I dumped you because you're dragging around a 35 year old umbilical cord."
• (Sterling Archer) "See. All you talk about it baby s***. Because you're baby crazy.."

• (Sterling Archer) "That is my foot in your face. Smell the embarrassment."

• (Sterling Archer) "Looks like we've got a Mexican standoff, kremensky."
• (Krenshaw) "How is this a Mexican standoff?"
• (Agent Lana Kane) "Dumbass."
• (Krenshaw) "I don't care if you shoot her."
• (Cyril Figgis) "I do."
• (Krenshaw) "But what if I shoot her, mama's boy?"
• (Malory Archer) "Sterling."
• (Krenshaw) "Yes, picture her dead in the gutter --"
• (Malory Archer) "Sterling."
• (Krenshaw) "-- and what your pathetic life will be like without old mommy dearest."
• (Agent Lana Kane) "Jesus Christ."
• (Malory Archer) "What?"
• (Cyril Figgis) "What is it?"
• (Agent Lana Kane) "He's got an erection."
• (Malory Archer) "What?"
• (Krenshaw) "What the hell is wrong with you people?"
• (Sterling Archer) "Nothing. You on the other hand-"
• (Sterling Archer) "ow. OW."
• (Malory Archer) "An erection?"
• (Sterling Archer) "Hey. What's in there; Buckles?"
• (Malory Archer) "The thought of me dead give you an erection?"
• (Sterling Archer) "No, just half of one. The other half would have really missed you. I mean, not -- ugh."
• (Sterling Archer) "Johnny bench called."

• (Malory) "Ugh -- it smells like a whorehouse in here."
• (Sterling Archer) "Something something, your own fingers."
• (Malory) "What?"
• (Sterling Archer) "Nothing -- Johnny Bench called."

• (Malory) "What is the point of these situations --"
• (Sterling Archer) "Crenshaw's arousal?"
• (Malory) "if you don't take them seriously?"

• (Sterling Archer) "No, I've seen that movie and; spoiler alert; it ends with a closet full of my suits on fire."
• (Agent Lana Kane) "I wish you'd been wearing one."
• (Sterling Archer) "Who would want to wear an on-fire suit?"
• (Agent Lana Kane) "Cos play enthusiasts."

• (Malory Archer) "The thought of me dead gives you an erection?"
• (Sterling Archer) "No, just half of one. The other half would have really missed you."

• (Cheryl) "You stood me up again last night."
• (Sterling Archer) "Last? Oh yeah, oh my, what happened was, um, did you see Brian's Song? Same thing pretty much. Happened."
• (Sterling Archer) "I helped a guy with cancer. Look, I'm really sorry Carol but I couldn't --"
• (Cheryl) "It's Cheryl."
• (Cheryl) "I know, OK, Cheryl."

• (Sterling Archer) "The two things we don't allow in here. What are they?"
• (Woodhouse) "Dogs and your mother."
• (Sterling Archer) "That's a very short list, isn't it?"
• (Woodhouse) "Yes, but you were quite insistent an exception be made."
• (Sterling Archer) "I'm always insistent, Woodhouse."
• (Woodhouse) "Yes, sir."
• (Sterling Archer) "But I'm not to be trusted, am I?"
• (Woodhouse) "No, sir. But"
• (Sterling Archer) "Stop. Shut up. I have to go, but if I find one single dog hair when I get back I'll rub sand in your dead little eyes."
• (Woodhouse) "Very good, sir."
• (Sterling Archer) "I also need you to go buy sand."
• (Woodhouse) "Yes, sir."
• (Sterling Archer) "I don't know if they grade it but -- coarse."

• (Sterling Archer) "Oh, is that what you want?"
• (Lana Kane) "Yup."
• (Sterling Archer) "Because that's how you get ants."

• (Sterling Archer) "Hey, you wanna smell something?"
• (Receptionist) "Swear to God, Mr. Archer, I have HR on speed dial."
• (Sterling Archer) "Shut up."

• (Cyril Figgis) "But it's Stir-Friday."
• (Lana Kane) "Hooray."

• (Sterling Archer) "So, thanks for nothing, Carol. Now i have to break into ISIS headquarters in a $900 turtleneck. And if it gets ruined, I'm gonna make you drink heavy cream you -- Carol."

• (Sterling Archer) "Lana. Hey, I know I'm supposed to be up my own ass right now but --"
• (Agent Lana Kane) "Hmmph."
• (Sterling Archer) "Oh, is that what you want?"
• (Agent Lana Kane) "Yup --"
• (Sterling Archer) "Because that's how you get ants."
• (Agent Lana Kane) "Yay."

• (Sterling Archer) "You want ants? Cuz this is how we get ants."

• (Malory Archer) "Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants."

• (Malory Archer) "Sterling?"
• (Sterling Archer) "Hm? Sorry I was picturing Whore Island."

• (Sterling Archer) "And speaking of lame my codename --"
• (Malory Archer) "Was chose at random by the ISIS computer."
• (Sterling Archer) "Random? It was your dog's name."

• (Malory Archer) "ISIS isn't your own personal travel agency. it doesn't exist so you can jet off to Whore Island."

• (Sterling Archer) "If Pam knows then everyone knows because of Pam's huge mouth."

• (Pam Poovey) "Because when your co-workers put food in the refrigerator that's a bond of trust. Okay? And if you violate that trust, or the food."
• (Sterling Archer) "There's my favorite section head."
• (Pam Poovey) "I am dealing with the break room problem."
• (Sterling Archer) "Oh good, you caught the, um. Oh wait I had something for this. Pita predator."
• (Pam Poovey) "You know what?"
• (Sterling Archer) "Sorry, let's just call it what it is. Food rapist."
• (Pam Poovey) "Not a pretty name, is it?"

• (Sterling Archer) "Johnny Bench called."

• (Sterling Archer) "Yeah, I know it's sexy Woodhouse, that's why I bought ten. Now arrange those by color."
• (Woodhouse) "These are all black."
• (Sterling Archer) "Oh are they? Or are five in a dark black, and five in a slightly darker black?"

• (Malory Archer) "An erection?"
• (Sterling Archer) "Hey, what's in there? Buckles?"
• (Malory Archer) "The thought of me dead gives you an erection?"
• (Sterling Archer) "No, just half of one. The other half would have really missed you. I mean not. Ew."

• (Sterling Archer) "You want breakfast? Try the diner. You're obviously into Greek -- get it?"

• (Sterling Archer) "Come on, 22 black. 22 black. 22 black-ass son of a bitch. Not you, giant African man. I'm sorry. Can I offer you a drink? How about this expensive prostitute?"

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