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Kissing Jessica Stein Quotes

Kissing Jessica Stein is a television show that appeared on TV in 1970 . Kissing Jessica Stein ended its run in 1970.

It features Eden Wurmfeld as producer, Marcelo Zarvos in charge of musical score, and Lawrence Sher as head of cinematography.

Kissing Jessica Stein is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Kissing Jessica Stein is 97 minutes long. Kissing Jessica Stein is distributed by Fox Searchlight Pictures.

The cast includes: Jennifer Westfeldt as Jessica, Heather Juergensen as Helen, Scott Cohen as Josh, Michael Mastro as Martin, Jackie Hoffman as Joan, and David Aaron Baker as Dan Stein.

Kissing Jessica Stein Quotes

Jennifer Westfeldt as Jessica

  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "Or-Or smart, but funny in a totally unappealing way. You know? Just like funny/stupid, or funny/dopey, but not funny/witty or funny/ironic or funny/goofy, you know? Or-Or they seem smart, and then you realize that they aren't at all. And that's funny, but funny/tragic."
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "Would you shut up, I'm atoning."
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "Wait a second. Are you saying my life has no value?"
  • (Heather Juergensen) "No. I am saying that maybe, underneath all the neurosis, you have a profound capacity for happiness that your're not allowing to exist."
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "How do you know? You just met me."
  • (Heather Juergensen) "You can't possible know who you are or how you'll respond to something until you try it."
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "I happen to disagree. I happen to think that if you know yourself well, you can gauge how you're gonna react to something. And I pretty much assure you that I will never be made happy by chanting for spiritual enlightenment."
  • (Heather Juergensen) "Or maybe you would. You can't know."
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "Trust me, I know."
  • (Heather Juergensen) "You know?"
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "Yeah, I know."
  • (Heather Juergensen) "You know how you'll react to anything?"
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "Pretty much, yes."
  • (Heather Juergensen) "I guess you're right. You seem to know yourself pretty well."
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "Oh, I'm a terrible insomniac."
  • (Heather Juergensen) "I'm so sorry. Since when?"
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "Um, I don't know, since birth."
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "So, I figure if we keep going it like this, we'll get there in like two weeks or so."
  • (Heather Juergensen) "Yeah, sure. There's no real rush."
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "Are you sure?"
  • (Heather Juergensen) "Yeah, sure."
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "But you'd really --"
  • (Heather Juergensen) "Not at all."
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "How about ten days?"
  • (Heather Juergensen) "Ten days is better."
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "You don't appreciate the chaos and absurdity of life on this planet. You don't understand irony, or ethnicity, or eccentricity, or poetry, or the simple joy of being a regular at the diner on your block. I love that. You don't drink coffee or alcohol. You don't over eat. You don't cry when you're alone. You don't understand sarcasm. You plod through life in a neat, colorless, caffeine free, dairy free, conflict free way. I'm bold and angry and tortured and tremendous and I notice when someone has changed their hair part, or when someone is wearing two very distinctly different shades of black or when someone changes the natural temperment of their voice on the phone. I don't give out empty praise. I'm not complacent or well-adjusted. I can't spend fifteen minutes breathing and stretching and getting in touch with myself. I can't spend three minutes finishing an article. I check my answering machine nine times every day and I can't sleep at night because I feel that there is so much to do and fix and change in the world, and I wonder every day if I am making a difference and if I will ever express the greatness within me, or if I will remain forever paralyzed by muddled madness inside my head. I've wept on every birthday I've ever had because life is huge and fleeting and I hate certain people and certain shoes and I feel that life is terribly unfair and sometimes beautiful and wonderful and extraordinary but also numbing and horrifying and insurmountable and I hate myself a lot of the time. The rest of the time I adore myself and I adore my life in this city and in this world we live in. This huge and wondrous, bewildering, brilliant, horrible world."
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "It is not inertia alone that is responsible for human relationships repeating themselves from case to case, indescribably monotonous and unrenewed: it is shyness before any sort of new, unforeseeable experience with which one does not think oneself able to cope. But only someone who is ready for everything, who excludes nothing, not even the most enigmatical will live the relation to another as something alive."
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "Oh, no offense -- no offense. I mean look at you. Who wouldn't want to have sex with you. I mean 'do' you."

Heather Juergensen as Helen

  • (Heather Juergensen) "Harvey Keitel. He's very sexy-ugly."
  • (Heather Juergensen) "It's just like kissing a guy."
  • (Jackie Hoffman) "No it's not."
  • (Heather Juergensen) "No, it's not."
  • (Heather Juergensen) "Some people smoke pot, some people bungee jump, some people chant. What do you do to be happy?"
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "Nothing. I'm not."
  • (Heather Juergensen) "Stop saying you told me, you're a terrible liar, it's one of your best qualities."
  • (Heather Juergensen) "What does your therapist say about all of this?"
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "Oh, I could never tell my therapist."
  • (Heather Juergensen) "Why not?"
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "Because it's private."
  • (Heather Juergensen) "I took out an ad for Christ's sake. And I ended up with the Jewish Sandra Dee."
  • (Heather Juergensen) "Don't decide right now, just let it marinate for a while."
  • (Heather Juergensen) "Who do you have to blow to get some fucking pussy around here."

David Aaron Baker as Dan Stein

  • (David Aaron Baker) "You know, I've been hearing about "the one" for I don't know, like 20 years. I guess I thought it would be a guy."
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "I know, I know, but look, I don't even believe that any more. I don't believe there's just one person. I think there are, like, seven."

Scott Cohen as Josh

  • (Scott Cohen) "You a little jumpy today Stein?"
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "No."
  • (Scott Cohen) "You got a hot date?"
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "No."
  • (Scott Cohen) "Yeah. Who's the guy?"
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "There's no guy."
  • (Scott Cohen) "Oh come on, you're a terrible, terrible liar."
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "Trust me, there's no guy."
  • (Scott Cohen) "So I guess I'd like to know if you have some sort of reaction to this. More specifically, do you want to have dinner with me tomorrow night?"
  • (Scott Cohen) "Well, if you'll excuse me, I definitely need another drink."
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "No, wait. I'd love to have dinner with you, but I can't."
  • (Scott Cohen) "What? Not the season?"
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "No. I mean I cant have dinner with you because I'm with Helen."
  • (Scott Cohen) "Oh, you're having dinner with Helen?"
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "No. I mean I'm with Helen."
  • (Scott Cohen) "Like with with Helen?"
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "Right with with."
  • (Heather Juergensen) "Jessica, they're starting to serve dinner."
  • (Heather Juergensen) "Hey, Josh."
  • (Scott Cohen) "Helen --"
  • (Scott Cohen) "how are you?"
  • (Heather Juergensen) "I'm good thanks."
  • (Scott Cohen) "You know Stein, why don't you cut yourself a break. It's obviously not the time to be meeting someone anyway."
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "Really? What? Not the season?"
  • (Scott Cohen) "No. It's just because you're clearly not open to it."
  • (Jennifer Westfeldt) "Excuse me? I'm sorry. How would you know?"
  • (Scott Cohen) "Well, I do have a little history to draw from. But even if I didn't, you've known Charles here for about an hour and in that time you've dismissed a panoply of men based on factors as reductive as a linguistic misstep, a different view from yours on going dutch, a kind reaction to your legendary lateness, and a genuine interest in yoga. You know, I think it was Anais Nin who said, "We don't see things as they are. We see things as we are.""
  • (Scott Cohen) "Generally I'm not much of a Nin fan, but I do feel that bit sums you up to a "T", Stein. So I don't think the problem's with these poor men, these freaks and morons, as you put it. I think the problem is with you."

Michael Mastro as Martin

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