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Hot Fuzz Quotes

Hot Fuzz is a television show that was first aired in 1970 . Hot Fuzz completed its run in 1970.

It features Nira Park; Tim Bevan; Eric Fellner as producer, David Arnold in charge of musical score, and Jess Hall as head of cinematography.

Hot Fuzz is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of Hot Fuzz is 121 minutes long. Hot Fuzz is distributed by Universal Pictures, and Rogue Pictures.

The cast includes: Jim Broadbent as Danny Butterman, Kevin Eldon as Sergeant Tony Fisher, Billie Whitelaw as Joyce Cooper, Stephen Merchant as P.I Staker, Martin Freeman as Narrator, Timothy Dalton as Simon Skinner, Stuart Wilson as Dr. Robin Hatcher, Jim Broadbent as Inspector Frank Butterman, Peter Wight as Roy Porter, Bill Nighy as Chief Inspector, Steve Coogan as Metropolitan Police Inspector, Martin Freeman as Sergeant, Edward Woodward as Tom Weaver, Patricia Franklin as Annette Roper, Anne Reid as Leslie Tiller, David Bradley as Arthur Webley, Rory McCann as Michael, and Kevin Eldon as Sergeant Turner.

Hot Fuzz Quotes

Steve Coogan as Metropolitan Police Inspector

  • (Steve Coogan) "You don't want me to get the Chief Inspector down here, do you?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Yes, I would actually."
  • (Steve Coogan) "Very well."
  • (Steve Coogan) "Kenneth?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "I don't know what to say."
  • (Steve Coogan) "Yes."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Yes, thank you."

Jim Broadbent as Inspector Frank Butterman

  • (Jim Broadbent) "Yeah, Roy-ee."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "She's our only policewoman."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "She's not a policewoman."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Yes, she is, I've seen her bra."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Well, I couldn't see his face, could I? I'm not made of eyes."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "I'll drive."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "SHOTGUN."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Punch --. That --. Shit."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "You're a doctor, deal with it."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Yeah, motherfucker."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "All right, what about this guy? Ask yourself, why has he got his hat pulled down like that?"
  • (Jim Broadbent) "He's fuck-ugly."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Or, he doesn't want you to see his face."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "'Cause he's fuck-ugly."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "I used to believe in the immutable word of the Law. That is until the night Mrs. Butterman was taken from me. You see no-one loved Sandford more than her; she was head of the Women's Institute, chair of the floral committee. When they started the Village of the Year contest, she worked around the clock. I've never seen such dedication. On the eve of the adjudicator's arrival, some travellers moved into Callaghan Park. Before you could say 'gypsy scum' we were knee-deep in dog muck, thieving kids and crusty jugglers. We lost the title. And Irene lost her mind. She drove her Datsun Cherry into Sandford Gorge. From that moment on, I swore that I would do her proud."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "If you had paid attention to me in school, you'd understand it's not all about car chases and excitement."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Fire up the roof."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Now that was brilliant."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Do you want anything from the shop?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Cornetto."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "So what made you want to become a policeman?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Officer."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "What made you want to become a policeman-officer?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "I don't remember a time when I didn't want to be a police officer -- apart from the summer of 1979 when I wanted to be Kermit the Frog. It all started with my Uncle Derek. He was a Sergeant in the Met. He bought me a police pedal car when I was five. I rode around in it every second I was awake; arresting kids twice my size for littering and spitting. I got beaten up a lot when I was young, but it didn't stop me. I wanted to be like Uncle Derek."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "He sounds like a good bloke."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Actually, he was arrested for selling drugs to students."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "What a cunt --"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Probably bought the pedal car with the proceeds. Needless to say, I never went near it again. I just let it rust. But I never lost the profound sense of right and wrong I felt at the wheel of that pedal car. I had to prove to myself that the Law could be proper and righteous and for the good of humankind. It was from that moment that I was destined to be a police officer."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Shame --"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "How so?"
  • (Jim Broadbent) "I think you would have made a great Muppet --"
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Hey, why can't we say "accident," again?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Because "accident" implies there's nobody to blame."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "What's it like being stabbed?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "It was the single most painful experience of my life"
  • (Jim Broadbent) "What's the second most painful?"
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Meet Supercop -- the cop, that can't be stopped."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "What about -- 'Lethal Weapon'?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "No."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "You've seen 'Die Hard', though?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "No."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "'Bad Boys II'?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "No."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "You ain't seen 'Bad Boys II'?"
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Pub?"
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Have you ever fired two guns whilst jumping through the air?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "No."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Have you ever fired one gun whilst jumping through the air?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "No."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Ever been in a high-speed pursuit?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Yes, I have."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Have you ever fired a gun whilst in a high speed pursuit?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "No."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Dad just said it was his special club."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Why are you wearing a police officer's uniform?"
  • (Jim Broadbent) "'Cause I am one?"
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Fancy a coffee?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "No thanks, don't drink it."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Cup of tea?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "I don't drink caffeine after midday."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "A beer?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Umm?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Are there any questions?"
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Is it true that there's a point on a man's head where if you shoot it, it will blow up?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "I feel as if I should say something smart."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "You don't have to say anything at all."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "We lost the title. And Irene lost her mind. She drove her Datsun Cherry into Sanford Gorge."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "What do we need the dog for?"
  • (Jim Broadbent) "It's not the dog we need."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Right --"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "What did he say?"
  • (PC Bob Walker) "He said --"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "What did he say?"
  • (Jim Broadbent) "He said, "an hedge is an hedge, he only chopped it down because it spoilt his view, and what's Reaper moaning about?""
  • (Jim Broadbent) "And he had one thing you haven't got."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "What's that, sir?"
  • (Jim Broadbent) "A great, big, bushy beard."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Honk."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "You're not seriously gonna believe this man, are you? Are you? HE ISN'T EVEN FROM 'ROUND HERE."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Yes, sir. Why is everyone eating chocolate cake?"
  • (Jim Broadbent) "The Black Forest gateau is on Danny, as punishment for his little indiscretion."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "His? Sir, I don't think driving under the influence can be called a "little indiscretion.""
  • (Jim Broadbent) "No, the gateau is for misplacing his helmet the other week. Last night's incident will require something a rather more serious. Do you like ice cream?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "I'm sorry, sir. I don't follow."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Let's just say that we won't be short of Chunky Monkey for the next month."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Daaaaaad."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "I just want to be -- good at what I do."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "You are good at what you do, you just need to switch off that big ol' melon of yours."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "That's just it Danny, I don't think I know how."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "I can show you."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "By the power of Greyskull."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Point Break or Bad Boys II?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Which do you think I'd prefer?"
  • (Jim Broadbent) "No I mean which do you want to watch first?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "You are pulling my leg right?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "And are they as big as he is?"
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Who?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "The mum and the sister?"
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Same person."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "I suppose you're wondering why we call them the "Andies"?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "They're both called Andrew?"
  • (Jim Broadbent) "They said you were good."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Also because talking to them is an uphill struggle, isn't it, Dad?"
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Fuck off."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Thank you, Danny."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Ta-daaa."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Danny, this is murder."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "It's not murder, it's ketchup."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "It's Frank. He's appointed himself Judge, Jury and Executioner."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "He is not Judge Judy and Executioner."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Forget it, Nicholas -- it's Sandford."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "What the f-."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Sergeant."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "By the power of Greyskull."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Where's the trolley boy?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "In the freezer."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Did you say "cool off?""
  • (Nicholas Angel) "No I didn't say anything --"
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Shame."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Well, there was the bit that you missed where I distracted him with the cuddly monkey then I said "play time's over" and I hit him in the head with the peace lily."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "You're off the fuckin' chain."

Edward Woodward as Tom Weaver

  • (Edward Woodward) "Well, well I see we have visitors --"
  • (Edward Woodward) "You know what you are? A bloody busybody."
  • (Edward Woodward) "If we don't come down hard on these clowns, we are going to be up to our balls in jugglers."

Kevin Eldon as Sergeant Turner

  • (Kevin Eldon) "Hang about, hang about -- you're saying this wasn't an accident?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Leslie Tiller was FUCKING murdered."
  • (DS Andy Cartwright) "Just like Tim Messenger?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Yes."
  • (DS Andy Wainwright) "George Merchant?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Yes."
  • (DS Andy Cartwright) "And Eve Draper?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Yes."
  • (DS Andy Wainwright) "Martin Blower?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "No, actually."
  • (DS Andy Cartwright) "Really?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "'COURSE HE FUCKING WAS."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Thank you, Danny."
  • (Kevin Eldon) "Nobody tells me nothin'."

Martin Freeman as Sergeant

  • (Martin Freeman) "Hello Nicholas."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Hello Sergeant."
  • (Martin Freeman) "How's the hand?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Still a bit stiff."
  • (Martin Freeman) "It can get awfully hairy out there. I'm surprised you weren't snapped up sooner for a nice desk job. That's what I did."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "I prefer to think my office is out on the street."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Indeed you do. Your arrest record is four hundred percent higher than any other officer, which is why it's high time that such -- skills -- were put to better use. We're making you sergeant."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "I see."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "In where, sorry?"
  • (Martin Freeman) "In Sandford, Gloucestershire."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "But that's in the country --"
  • (Martin Freeman) "Yes. Lovely."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Isn't there a sergeant's position here in London?"
  • (Martin Freeman) "Oh, no."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Can I remain here as a PC?"
  • (Martin Freeman) "No."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Do I have any choice in this?"
  • (Martin Freeman) "No."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Sergeant, I kinda like it here."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Well, you've always wanted a transfer to the country."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "In twenty years or so, yes."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Well done you."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Police Constable Nicholas Angel: born and schooled in London, graduated Canterbury University in 1993 with a double first in Politics and Sociology. Attended Hendon College of Police Training. Displayed great aptitude in field exercises, notably Urban Pacification and Riot Control. Academically excelled in theoretical course work and final year examinations. Received a Baton of Honour, graduated with distinction into the Metropolitan Police Service and quickly established an effectiveness and popularity within the community. Proceeded to improve skill base with courses in advanced driving -- and advanced cycling. He became heavily involved in a number of extra-vocational activities and to this day, he holds the Met record for the hundred metre dash. In 2001, he began active duty with the renowned SO19 Armed Response Unit and received a Bravery Award for efforts in the resolution of Operation Crackdown. In the last twelve months, he has received nine special commendations, achieved highest arrest record for any officer in the Met and sustained three injuries in the line of duty, most recently in December when wounded by a man dressed as Father Christmas."

Timothy Dalton as Simon Skinner

  • (Timothy Dalton) "Michael, are you there?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Yarp --"
  • (Timothy Dalton) "Sergeant Angel's been taken care of?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Yarp --"
  • (Timothy Dalton) "He's not going to get back up again?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Narp?"
  • (Timothy Dalton) "Good. Proceed to the castle."
  • (Timothy Dalton) "I'm a slasher, I must be stopped."
  • (Timothy Dalton) "Ow. Thish really hurtsh -- I'm gonna need shome ice-creeeem."
  • (Timothy Dalton) "Stop, or the ginger-nut gets it."
  • (Timothy Dalton) "Lock me up."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "I'm sorry?"
  • (Timothy Dalton) "I'm a slasher. I must be stopped."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "You're a what?"
  • (Timothy Dalton) "A slasher -- of prices. I'm Simon Skinner; I run the local supermarché. Drop in and see me sometime; my discounts are criminal. Catch me later."
  • (Timothy Dalton) "You see, much as I enjoyed your wild theories Sergeant, the truth is far less complex. Blower's fate was simply the result of his being -- an appalling actor."
  • (Unnamed) "Appalling."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "You murdered him for that?"
  • (Timothy Dalton) "He murdered Bill Shakespeare."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "What? Oh."
  • (Patricia Franklin) "Martin Blower was less concerned with the reputation of the village than he was with his sordid affair with Eve Draper."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "So Eve deserved to die too?"
  • (Stuart Wilson) "Well, she did have a very annoying laugh."
  • (Unnamed) "Annoying."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "George Merchant?"
  • (Timothy Dalton) "He had in awful house."
  • (Unnamed) "Awful."
  • (Timothy Dalton) "Feel free to spool through."

Bill Nighy as Chief Inspector

  • (Nicholas Angel) "With respect, sir, you can't just make people disappear."
  • (Bill Nighy) "Yes I can, I'm the Chief Inspector."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Well however you spin this, there's one thing you haven't taken into account. And that's what the team are gonna make of this."

Stephen Merchant as P.I Staker

  • (Stephen Merchant) "The swan's escaped?"
  • (Stephen Merchant) "Yeah."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Right. And where has the swan escaped from exactly?"
  • (Stephen Merchant) "Uh, the castle."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Oh, yeah? And who might you be?"
  • (Stephen Merchant) "Mr. Staker. Yeah, Mr. Peter Ian Staker."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "P.I. Staker?"
  • (Stephen Merchant) "Yeah."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Right. "Piss Taker." Come on."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Yes, Mr. Staker. Um, we'll do everything we can. Can you describe it to me?"

Patricia Franklin as Annette Roper

  • (Patricia Franklin) "That Sergeant Angel's coming into your shop. Get a look at his arse."

Peter Wight as Roy Porter

  • (Nicholas Angel) "Mr. Porter, what's your wine selection?"
  • (Peter Wight) "Oh, we've got red -- and, er -- white?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "I'll have a pint of lager, please."

Anne Reid as Leslie Tiller

  • (Anne Reid) "I can never find my scissors."
  • (Anne Reid) "You know that fella who blew up?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "George Merchant?"
  • (Anne Reid) "Well, George Merchant; God rest him; wanted to buy this land. So he sent round his legal fella Martin Blower; God rest him. I thought I might take them up on it. I haven't really got that much family round here, save my cousin Sissy. So I thought I might take them up on the offer and move to Buford Abbey. Would you like a card with this?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Wha -- no -- sorry, you were talking about the offer."
  • (Anne Reid) "Well, it turns out that Martin Blower; God rest him; knew where the new Bypass Road is going 'cause he was knocking off Eve Draper from the council; God rest her. And then that reporter; God rest him; finds out about the route and tells me this land is very valuable. Ten times what George Merchant and Martin Blower; God rest them; offered me. So with them having passed on, I decided to sell it all myself to some folks from the city that Martin, George, and Eve; God rest the lot of them; have been talking to. Apparently, they want to build a big shopping center or something. Of course, Cousin Sissy won't be too happy about that but, as far as I'm concerned, Cousin Sissy can go and fu --"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Would you just excuse me for just one second?"

David Bradley as Arthur Webley

Stuart Wilson as Dr. Robin Hatcher

  • (Stuart Wilson) "I brought you into this world, Danny. I think's rather fitting I should take you out of it."
  • (Reverend Philip Shooter) "Oh, you're an agnostic, then?"
  • (Stuart Wilson) "I think I've got a cream for that."
  • (Stuart Wilson) "I've told him several times "You shouldn't eat late at night"."
  • (PC Doris Thatcher) "Oh, I dunno. I quite like a little midnight gobble. Haha."
  • (PC Bob Walker) "-- cocks."

Rory McCann as Michael

  • (Rory McCann) "Yarp."

Billie Whitelaw as Joyce Cooper

  • (Billie Whitelaw) "Fascist."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "I beg your pardon?"
  • (Billie Whitelaw) "System of government categorized by extreme dictatorship. Seven across."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Oh, I see. It's "fascism.""
  • (Billie Whitelaw) ""Fascism". Wonderful. Now, we've put you in the Castle Suite. Bernard will escort you over there."
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Well, actually, I can probably make my own way up. Hag."
  • (Billie Whitelaw) "I beg your pardon?"
  • (Nicholas Angel) "Evil old woman, considered frightful or ugly, 12 down."
  • (Billie Whitelaw) "Oh -- bless you."

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