Help! (film) Quotes

Help! (film) is a television program that first aired in 1970 . Help! stopped airing in 1970.

It features Walter Shenson as producer, Musical Director:, Ken Thorne, Songs:, and Lennon-McCartney; George Harrison in charge of musical score, and David Watkin (cinematographer) as head of cinematography.

Help! (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of Help! (film) is 92 minutes long. Help! (film) is distributed by United Artists.

The cast includes: Patrick Cargill as Superintendent, John Bluthal as Bhuta, Leo McKern as Clang, Jeremy Lloyd as Paul, Eleanor Bron as Ahme, Mal Evans as Channel Swimmer, Roy Kinnear as Algernon, and Peter Copley as Jeweller.

Help! (film) Quotes

Jeremy Lloyd as Paul

• (George) "How's your equilibrium ring?"
• (Ringo) "How's yours? You lied again, George."
• (George) "How'd you know it's not you that's lied."
• (Ringo) "Cause I never am. Am I, Paul?"
• (Jeremy Lloyd) "Yeah, you are."

• (Jeremy Lloyd) "My skin's soaked right through to the skin."

• (Jeremy Lloyd) "Do you know Clang?"
• (Washerwoman) "I'm his mother, and he's good boy."

• (Jeremy Lloyd) "You don't miss your tonsils, do yer?"

• (Jeremy Lloyd) "It is one of those rela tela camenzas."
• (George) "Bad machine."

• (John) "Doesn't the blood rush to your head Sir?"
• (George) "Doesn't the eastern flavor come rather expensive?"
• (Jeremy Lloyd) "Doesn't the blood rush to your stomach?"

• (George) "What's that?"
• (Austrian Waiter) "What's what?"
• (George) "That little whirly thing coming out of his stomach."
• (Austrian Waiter) "I can't look."
• (John) "It's only a hose."
• (Jeremy Lloyd) "It's for you."
• (John) "Who is it?"
• (Jeremy Lloyd) "The gardener."

• (Cameo) "Boys, are you buzzing?"
• (John) "No thanks, I've got the car."
• (Cameo) "No no no. I'll have to play it back. You'll have to do it again."
• (John) "Is that you?"
• (Jeremy Lloyd) "No."
• (George) "Well don't look at me."
• (John) "That was you buzzing. You naughty boy."

• (John) "Oh, why don't you chop it off, Ringo?"
• (Ringo) "Look John, I've had some great times with this finger."
• (Ringo) "And how do you know I wouldn't miss it?"
• (Jeremy Lloyd) "You're a rat underneath, aren't you?"

• (Ringo) "Okay, who let it out?"
• (John) "Nobody'll know."
• (Jeremy Lloyd) "We're not going there."
• (John) "We just put it 'round we're going there."
• (Jeremy Lloyd) "We're not going there."
• (John) "We just put it 'round we're going there."
• (George) "Just so everybody'd think we were going there."
• (Ringo) "I'd like to go there."
• (John) "You wouldn't like it."
• (Ringo) "Where are we going, then?"
• (John) "Never you mind."

• (Jeremy Lloyd) "Easterner with greasy feet speak with fork tongue."
• (John) "Does he? What's he say?"
• (Jeremy Lloyd) "Passing this way, hot foot, many moons to temple."
• (George) "Don't encourage him. You've got the part Paul."
• (John) "Dare we ask how you know?"
• (Ringo) "How?"
• (Jeremy Lloyd) "How? I saw these footprints and this guide book which points out places of local worship."
• (John) "To the temple."

Patrick Cargill as Superintendent

• (Patrick Cargill) "Oh come on now lads, don't be windy, where's that famous pluck?"
• (John) "I haven't got any, have you George?"
• (George) "Did have."
• (Jeremy Lloyd) "I have had."
• (Ringo) "I will have. Lead on."

• (Patrick Cargill) "So this is the famous ring?"
• (Ringo) "I'm in fear of me life, you know."
• (Patrick Cargill) "And these are the famous Beatles?"
• (John) "So this is the famous Scotland Yard, eh?"
• (Patrick Cargill) "And how long do you think you'll last?"
• (John) "Can't say fairer than that. The Great Train Robbery, eh? How's that going?"

• (Patrick Cargill) "Good lord, it's Rajah, the famous Bengal man-eater who escaped from London Zoo this morning."
• (John) "Good Lord. So it famous is."
• (Patrick Cargill) "Oh, don't worry, he's absolutely harmless. All you have to do is sing Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" from the famous Ninth Symphony in D minor."
• (John) "Of course. Why didn't you think of that you twit."

• (Patrick Cargill) "Allow me. I'm a bit of a famous mimic in my own small way, you know James Cagney."
• (Patrick Cargill) "Hello, there, this is the famous Ringo here, gear fab. What is it that I can do for you, as it were, gear fab?"
• (George) "Not a bit like Cagney."

• (Patrick Cargill) "There's a strong case for arming the police. We aren't all masochists, you know."

Eleanor Bron as Ahme

• (Eleanor Bron) "This will make your finger shrink. Be brave."
• (John) "Don't look."
• (Eleanor Bron) "Alas, if he were brave, this would not be necessary."

• (Eleanor Bron) "He has three hours to live."
• (Jeremy Lloyd) "Say no more."
• (Eleanor Bron) "I can say no more."

• (Eleanor Bron) "I have here."

• (Eleanor Bron) "Hold. Release him or I shoot, and I am a dead-eye shot, shooting."

• (Eleanor Bron) "I am not what I seem."

Leo McKern as Clang

• (Leo McKern) "Take this hastily scribbled note, hastily to acting Lance Corporal Bhuta. Off."

• (Leo McKern) "Hey, Be-a-tle. How about this, eh? Shufty gold. All of it pure gold in easy-to-handle denominational nuggets. Not marked, not a mark on 'em, eh?"
• (Jeremy Lloyd) "No, I hate them."
• (Eleanor Bron) "No."
• (Jeremy Lloyd) "I I do. I mean, they make your fingers go green."
• (Eleanor Bron) "It is not the Beatle with the ring, he."
• (Jeremy Lloyd) "Aren't I?"
• (Eleanor Bron) "No unfortunately."

• (Leo McKern) "Something must be done. Without the ring, there will be no sacrifice. Without the sacrifice, there will be no congregation. Without the congregation no more me."
• (John Bluthal) "This is so."

• (Leo McKern) "Psst. Hey, Be-a-tle. You shall have fun, yes?"
• (John) "No thanks, I'm rhythm guitar and mouth organ."

• (Leo McKern) "Go to the window."
• (John) "Hey. It's them."
• (Leo McKern) "Go to the window, Go to the window, Go to the window, Go to the window."

• (Leo McKern) "The ring."
• (Eleanor Bron) "The ring."
• (John Bluthal) "Has nobody looked in the wash basin?"

John Bluthal as Bhuta

• (John Bluthal) "Excuse me, sirs, but if he is to be sacrificed before the dread Kaili, why is he not painted red?"
• (John) "That's a question I'll never be able to pluck up the courage to ask but as he's me best friend I will."

• (John Bluthal) "It's cold, it's a cold place."

• (John Bluthal) "Alright, alright. Synchronize your watches. You, you, you and you, paint him red, then kill him."

Peter Copley as Jeweller

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Roy Kinnear as Algernon

• (Roy Kinnear) "I'm better with animals than plugs and transistors they trust me. I should've gone into vivisection."

• (George) "What's your electric bill like?"
• (Roy Kinnear) "Sort of a long counterfoil."

Mal Evans as Channel Swimmer

• (Mal Evans) "Excuse me -- White Cliffs of Dover?"
• (Mal Evans) "Thank you."

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