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Funny Quotes From You Don't Mess with the Zohan

You Don't Mess with the Zohan was one of Adam Sandler's recent films which didn't live up to expectations. Actually, Sandler hasn't had many hits since the 1990s to be honest. Nonetheless, there are a few quality lines from the film.

Secret agent Zohan to the rescue! Alright, he's a hairstylist that women want to sleep with and is a typical Adam Sandler film. Nonetheless, it's still humorous. Here are some funny quotes from the film You Don't Mess with the Zohan.

Director: Dennis Dugan
Producers: Adam Sandler, Jack Giarraputo, and Robert Smigel
Writers: Carlito Cabardo, Adam Sandler, Robert Smigel, and Judd Apatow
Starring: Adam Sandler, John Turturro, and Emmanuelle Chriqui
Release date: June 6, 2008


Claude: It's not that big.
Zohan: No, not that. The bush, is biggest you ever seen, right?
Dalia: Zohan! He has a bomb ....... and puppies!
Zohan: No!
James: Imma blow up this whole block, Imma blow you up, Imma blow up these puppies! And we all gone' go to hell together, cause I hate these puppies!
Kevin McDonough: Woah, what are you, bionic?
Zohan: No no no, I only like the girls. Thanks anyways.
Pedestrian: Stay out of my business Mostafah.
Zohan: This is not my name.
Pedestrian: Go back to your pretzel stand.
Zohan: *crushes guys finger*
Pedestrian: Was that your feet?
Zohan: Yes, the feet uppercut.
Zohan: Smell it, smell it, smell it, now take it. *kicks guy with feet* That's for you.
Kevin McDonough: Where are you from anyway?
Zohan: Haustralia.
Kevin McDonough: Really, because you sound middle eastern.
Zohan: No no no, similar accent. Hangaroo.
Zohan: You know, you shouldn't jump around when this nice woman is holding a sharp pair of scissors. If you move she could slip and slice your jugular vein, on accident. There is no way to stitch the jugular. All of your blood will be on the floor in four minutes. I have seen this. I have done this. You don't want this.
Phone operator: Welcome to Hezbollah phone line, for terrorist supplies press 1.
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