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You Don't Mess with the Zohan Quotes

Claude: It's not that big.
Zohan: No, not that. The bush, is biggest you ever seen, right?

Dalia: Zohan! He has a bomb ....... and puppies!
Zohan: No!
James: Imma blow up this whole block, Imma blow you up, Imma blow up these puppies! And we all gone' go to hell together, cause I hate these puppies!

Kevin McDonough: Woah, what are you, bionic?
Zohan: No no no, I only like the girls. Thanks anyways.

Pedestrian: Stay out of my business Mostafah.
Zohan: This is not my name.
Pedestrian: Go back to your pretzel stand.
Zohan: *crushes guys finger*
Pedestrian: Was that your feet?
Zohan: Yes, the feet uppercut.
Zohan: Smell it, smell it, smell it, now take it. *kicks guy with feet* That's for you.

Kevin McDonough: Where are you from anyway?
Zohan: Haustralia.
Kevin McDonough: Really, because you sound middle eastern.
Zohan: No no no, similar accent. Hangaroo.

Zohan: You shouldn't jump around when you snatch woman holding sharp scissors. She might cut your ear off on accident.
*Kid cries*
*Zohan does the vulcan pinch and kid passes out*

Phone operator: Welcome to Hezbollah phone line, for terrorist supplies press 1.


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