Charmed (season 5) Quotes

Charmed is a TV show that debuted in 2002 on The WB. Charmed ended its run in 2003.

Charmed was on for 23 episodes.

The cast includes: Holly Marie Combs as Piper, Alyssa Milano as Phoebe, Drew Fuller as Chris, Rose McGowan as Paige, Dorian Gregory as Darryl, Julian McMahon as Cole, Brian Krause as Leo, Finola Hughes as Wyatt Halliwell, Sean Patrick Flanery as Adam, Billy Drago as Barbas, Brian Krause as Leo Wyatt, Dorian Gregory as Dwarf, Alyssa Milano as Eve, Henry Gibson as Andy, Pat Benatar & Neil Giraldo as The Seer, Lee Arenberg as Dave, Grace Zabriskie as The Crone, Lee Arenberg as Death, and Eric Dane as Jason Dean.

Charmed Quotes

Dorian Gregory as Dwarf

(Dorian Gregory) "Oh, no creepy talk in the precinct. Will you just keep down the creepy talk."

(Dorian Gregory) "Hey, if you ask me, there's nothing more beautiful than a preg --"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Do it, and you'll pull back a bloody stub."
(Rose McGowan) "She's a little sensitive right now."
(Dorian Gregory) "I can see that."

(Dorian Gregory) "Piper --"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Uh-huh."
(Dorian Gregory) "You froze the crime scene."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Uh-huh."
(Dorian Gregory) "You cannot freeze a crime scene."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Well, I did."

(Dorian Gregory) "Okay, where is this baby that everybody keeps talking about? Is it an invisible baby? Am I gonna step on it?"

Rose McGowan as Paige

(Rose McGowan) "We kick evil's ass every day."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Sometimes twice a day."

(Rose McGowan) "All of them had their eyes gouged out."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Ew."
(Brian Krause) "Now the video doesn't seem so gruesome."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Ha. Speak for yourself."

(Rose McGowan) "I'm telling you, he's gone for good."
(Alyssa Milano) "Yeah -- that's what we thought last time."
(Holly Marie Combs) "And the time before that."

(Rose McGowan) "Do you think you could shift the gears? My boobs are in the way."

(Rose McGowan) "Oh, gross. What are you guys watching? Is that some horror movie?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "No, it's The Joys of Home Birthing. Strangely I'm not feeling the joy."

(Drake Robin) "The point is, Leo and Piper's love, it's epic, it's massive. It's Romeo and Juliet, Anthony and Cleopatra, Brad and Jennifer."
(Rose McGowan) "All tragedies, I might add."

(Rose McGowan) "Can someone please tell me how I got in a coffin?"
(Grams) "You were dead, dear. But bright side, at least now we have something in common."

(Rose McGowan) "I like an element of danger."

(Rose McGowan) "She's blown him up -- literally?"
(Alyssa Milano) "Yeah, but you know Piper, she didn't mean anything by it."

(Rose McGowan) "We are not slobs."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Oh, really? How come I spent all night cleaning potion stains off of the ceiling?"
(Rose McGowan) "That's gazpacho, not potion."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Well, you know what? Blenders have lids."

(Witch Doctor) "How may I be of service?"
(Rose McGowan) "Are you a witch doctor?"
(Witch Doctor) "Let me guess. You were expecting someone with a bone through the nose and shrunken head necklace, perhaps?"
(Alyssa Milano) "Yeah, actually. Yeah. Yeah."

(Rose McGowan) "Well guys, we better come up with a plan, because Lord Dyson is out there, getting stronger as we speak."
(Alyssa Milano) "Thanks to Piper --"
(Holly Marie Combs) "ALLRIGHT."

(Rose McGowan) "I can't believe I destroyed the house."
(Alyssa Milano) "What I can't believe is what you almost saw in the hotel room. If you had gotten there five minutes earlier --"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Lalala. Over sharing."

(Witch Doctor) "It's only a matter of time before they destroy themselves."
(Rose McGowan) "Talk about premature jubilation. You, gentlemen might want to see a doctor about that."

(Rose McGowan) "Bug spray. We should've used bug spray."

(Rose McGowan) "Stop yelling at death."

(Rose McGowan) "Okay, is that normal?"
(Brian Krause) "All this arguing is probably just upsetting the baby."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Leo, the baby is an inch long. All this arguing is upsetting the mommy."

(Rose McGowan) "We're preparing for the big home birth."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Home birth? You're nuts. I'd never agree to that. I wouldn't give birth unless it was in --"
(Rose McGowan) "A hospital. Yeah, yeah, you keep saying the same thing in any reality."

(Rose McGowan) "I can understand wanting to take a break from guys but, come on -- she's gonna run out the batteries."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Aw, Paige."
(Rose McGowan) "What?"
(Rose McGowan) "Hello? Oh, hey, Phoebe. We were just talking about you."
(Holly Marie Combs) "And your batteries."

(Craig) "Who are you?"
(Rose McGowan) "Witch."
(Brian Krause) "Angel."
(Alyssa Milano) "Mermaid."

(Rose McGowan) "No offense, but aren't you supposed to be dead?"
(Grams) "Oh, I'm over that."

(Rose McGowan) "My sweater shrunk."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Ah, come on. You've worn tighter things than that."

(Rose McGowan) "I can't believe that they exist -- not that I should be surprised."

(Rose McGowan) "Oh, the Elders don't know anything. What a shock."

(Rose McGowan) "Whoa -- full frontal Phoebe."
(Julian McMahon) "She flashed."
(Rose McGowan) "Yeah -- I; I got that."
(Julian McMahon) "No, I mean she flashed black-and-white."

(Rose McGowan) "And you, you're not La Femme Nikita, you're a Charmed One. Yeah, you don't mind kicking ass when you have to, but otherwise you'd rather be hanging out with your sisters, baking cookies, or knitting booties."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Knitting booties? Clearly you don't know me at all."

(Rose McGowan) "So how exactly do I bless this thing?"
(Alyssa Milano) "With your blood. Come on."
(Alyssa Milano) "This'll just hurt a little."

(Head Dwarf) "You know, you really ought to get yourself a prince, in case this ever happens again."
(Rose McGowan) "Uh, who are you?"
(Head Dwarf) "We'll send you the bill. Let's go, men."
(Dorian Gregory) "Come on, guys, let's go."

(Rose McGowan) "He met some bimbette while climbing the Matterhorn."
(Holly Marie Combs) "At Disneyland?"
(Rose McGowan) "No, Switzerland."

(Rose McGowan) "Well, I was sort of messing around with Dave --"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Messing around?"
(Rose McGowan) "Yeah, having sex."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Oh."
(Rose McGowan) "See, that's why I don't want to talk to you about this. It's weird talking to a pregnant lady about sex anyway."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Well, Paige, how do you think I got pregnant?"
(Rose McGowan) "Ugh, I don't want to know that either."

(Rose McGowan) "If you want to talk to Piper, she's in the room throwing up."
(Alyssa Milano) "What, is she sick?"
(Rose McGowan) "She's pregnant Phoebe, sickness is their way of life."

(Rose McGowan) "How do you like my outfit?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "You look like you're not going to help clean up."
(Rose McGowan) "You've got that right. I'm gonna go meet Glen. And besides, isn't everything just gonna get messed up again anyway?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Bite your tongue."

(Rose McGowan) "Besides, everyone is odd in San Francisco. That's why we fit in so well."

(Rose McGowan) "You call that a rah, rah speech? You are supposed to be cheering her up, not pushing her off the edge."

(Rose McGowan) "Well, you wanted to live like us. Now you get to die like us."

(Rose McGowan) "What just happened?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "The freaking furniture just attacked us."

(Rose McGowan) "They're dicks."
(Kyle Brody) "Dicks."
(Rose McGowan) "No, like private eyes. Detectives. Don't you see? They wrote themselves in as the heroes of their own books. Like Sam Spade or Philip Marlowe."

Alyssa Milano as Phoebe

(Alyssa Milano) "He's soul-searching -- or off searching for a soul."

(Alyssa Milano) "Good people do not turn other people into water coolers."

(Alyssa Milano) "We could sure use some cosmic help right about now."

(Alyssa Milano) "I curse you, you curse me, let's get together and do a little cursing."

(Alyssa Milano) "Okay we theme, you potion."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Me peeved, you annoying."

(Prue) "Cop, witch. It's not a love connection."
(Alyssa Milano) "Boy, girl. Lighten up."

(Alyssa Milano) "It's just research for that stupid article Jason made me do."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Ah, you said his name without swearing. Does that mean things are going better at work?"
(Alyssa Milano) "Oh, no. He's still driving me crazy."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Didn't he just give you a raise?"
(Alyssa Milano) "Yeah, but that was just a bribe so I wouldn't quit."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Ah, a woman of principles. I admire that."

(Alyssa Milano) "Come on, you don't think we'll be 60 and still living together, sharing clothes and a cat."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Well now that you put it that way, no, I don't want to live with you anymore."

(Alyssa Milano) "I forgot your question."
(Holly Marie Combs) "I asked if Prue was going to have sex with someone other than herself this year."
(Alyssa Milano) "That's disgusting. Please say yes."

(Alyssa Milano) "Lawyers. There should be a place in Hell for each and every one of them."

(Alyssa Milano) "Stop hinting around and let him have your crab already."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Don't be disgusting."

(Alyssa Milano) "Notice anything different about me?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Engagement ring. Notice it or wear coffee."

(Alyssa Milano) "I can't believe you guys didn't notice my billboards downtown."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Oh, honey, of course we noticed. You can see them from a passing 747."

(Alyssa Milano) "What's the celebration?"
(Rose McGowan) "I'm just so happy to be home, that's all."
(Holly Marie Combs) "You wanted to move out."
(Rose McGowan) "I did? God, no. Never. Well, I mean, you know, maybe when I'm married or pregnant or -- hopefully both at the same time. We're sisters. We shouldn't split up until we absolutely have to. You know that, right?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "She's rambling."
(Alyssa Milano) "I hear that."

(Alyssa Milano) "Go away horny tom cats."

(Alyssa Milano) "Okay, Piper. As much as we would love to hear about your man problems, we have a possible demon to vanquish."

(Alyssa Milano) "Piper, just so you know, I may have to flee the country, but just for a little while. And I will call you, okay."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Oh, no you don't, Missy. There will be no fleeing the country until you clean up after yourself."
(Alyssa Milano) "No-no-no-no-no, I'm sorry, I can't. I'm possessed."
(Holly Marie Combs) "That is not an excuse."

(Alyssa Milano) "What a cool power, I hate her."

(Alyssa Milano) "AT&T;, Power of Three."

(Alyssa Milano) "Go to hell."
(Julian McMahon) "We're already here."

(Alyssa Milano) "Where the hell is Leo, it's been five hours and he hasn't responded to any of my calls."
(Chris Perry) "I really don't know"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Well I really think you do know"
(Chris Perry) "Well maybe I do, and if I'm right, Leo's gonna need some major alone time"
(Holly Marie Combs) "You know what? Cut the cryptic crap. I want you to go up there and bring Leo back now."
(Chris Perry) "Fine. But if I was you I would focus on finding a way to unfreeze Paige 'cause you're gonna need her -- soon"
(Holly Marie Combs) "I swear to God if he does not bring Leo back I am gonna blow his ass back to the future orbs and all."
(Alyssa Milano) "Okay, Piper maybe it would be better if you go downstairs and spend some time with Wyatt -- you're not breathing are you?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Nope"
(Alyssa Milano) "Breathe, inhale, exhale, okay next sister."

(Grams) "You and Paige moved out? When?"
(Alyssa Milano) "Uh, a few weeks ago. But we're handling everything."
(Grams) "Dear, you have Paige stuck in the past and a demonic blob roaming the manor. Exactly how are you handling things?"

(Alyssa Milano) "28 minutes, 33 seconds."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Really? We ran that long?"
(Alyssa Milano) "No, that's how long you've been comparing Leo and Dan."
(Holly Marie Combs) "I haven't been comparing; I've just been -- talking."
(Alyssa Milano) "Non-stop."

(Alyssa Milano) "Are you making spaghetti sauce?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "No, that's demon blood."

(Alyssa Milano) "I'll do what I should've done a while ago which is vanquish your sorry ass."

(Alyssa Milano) "I just want to know, am I in for another cold shower or not?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "You know Phoebe, there are times in our lives where a cold shower is a good thing."

(Alyssa Milano) "I hope this doesn't mean we get our virginity back too."

(Prue) "What is he again?"
(Alyssa Milano) "He's a Whitelighter. You know, kinda like Peter Pan and Tinkerbell without the wings and the tutu."

(Alyssa Milano) "The wrong thing done for the right reason is still the wrong thing."

(Alyssa Milano) "So, we get to go back there? And we get to meet our grandfather?"
(Grams) "Don't make too much out of it, because whatever you do, you can't change the past or tell anyone you're from the future."
(Alyssa Milano) "Well, why does he get to?"
(Drew Fuller) "Because I know what I'm doing."
(Grams) "Not from where I'm standing."

(Alyssa Milano) "What are those?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Slipcovers. To keep the furniture clean. Although I've come to the conclusion we should probably just stand from now on."

(Prue) "Hey, be nice. I don't even want to think about sin tonight."
(Alyssa Milano) "Me neither."
(Prue) "So, this is an interesting band, what's their name?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Orgy."

(Alyssa Milano) "It's not every day you find out the person you love isn't human, except in Piper's case."

(Alyssa Milano) "Dead? What do you mean she's dead?"
(Brian Krause) "Don't worry. The dwarves are all over it."
(Alyssa Milano) "The dwarves?"
(Brian Krause) "Piper cast a spell that wound up summoning the descendents of the seven dwarves. Actually, they prefer to be called little people now."

(Alyssa Milano) "What do you think he wants?"
(Rose McGowan) "Our heads on a platter."

(Alyssa Milano) "Can you do anything about this thunder? 'Cause it's making me nuts."
(Pat Benatar & Neil Giraldo) "I have no sway over the weather. I do have a friend who works with the wind, but she's out of town."

(Alyssa Milano) "Hey. We've had this discussion. You're not allowed to use your active power on me, until I have an active power to use on you."

(Alyssa Milano) "You have really got to lay off the rhyming, Prue"

(Alyssa Milano) "Last night two guys held up a bar and a vigilante killed them."
(Rose McGowan) "Sounds more like you need an arrest warrant, not a potion."
(Alyssa Milano) "Not when the vigilante is tall, dark and handsome and can send people flying with the wave of a hand."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Well, that doesn't mean it's Cole."
(Alyssa Milano) "Did I forget to mention the scorch marks?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "See, that means it's Cole."

(Alyssa Milano) "I think I found the demon. Oh my god --"
(Rose McGowan) "What? You can't say "demons" followed by "oh my god"; I'm new at this, I'm likely to panic."

(Alyssa Milano) "Anyone got a vanquish in their pocket"

(Alyssa Milano) "You know what? You're a turkey. And turkeys don't write columns."
(Alyssa Milano) "But they do make delicious dinners."

(Grams) "You need guidance, some advice on a certain sister situation. Am I getting warm?"
(Alyssa Milano) "Red hot. But wait a minute, if you know, that means that they know, and if they know then we are f --"
(Grams) "Fine."

(Alyssa Milano) "Ready to kick some ass -- sis?"

(Alyssa Milano) "Will your friends be staying for dinner?"
(Julian McMahon) "I'm going to have a hard enough time convincing them to stay 'til the end of the meeting if you don't stop threatening to kill them."

(Alyssa Milano) "A little help here."
(Holly Marie Combs) "What are you doing with that thing?"
(Alyssa Milano) "Well, first I'm gonna kill it and then I'm gonna stuff it."
(Holly Marie Combs) "You are not bringing that filthy fowl in the house."
(Alyssa Milano) "Yes, I am. Thanksgiving's early this year."

(Alyssa Milano) "Got milk? Oooh, don't think so."

(Alyssa Milano) "I don't get it. If our ancient compilation of spells, witchcraft and rituals can't help us, what makes you think Martha Stewart can?"

(Alyssa Milano) "Piper."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Don't you "Piper" me."

(Alyssa Milano) "It'll be just like the summer by the lake. Remember when we made that blood oath to be friends forever, not just sisters?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "I remember my finger got infected."

(Alyssa Milano) "You came all the way over here for me, I mean we, I mean us?"

(Alyssa Milano) "Oh, I'm making soup for Cole, he'll eat it in a bowl, I guess that's my new role, making soup for Cole."

(Alyssa Milano) "I mean, between you and Leo, and Prue, the new Hot Wicca Woman, and me, soon to be employed, things are looking up."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Don't say that. The moment someone says that, everything always goes south."
(Alyssa Milano) "Unless you freeze him. Oh, I couldn't help it. It was so good."
(Prue) "Okay, okay, come on, we're going, you're going to borrow the car."
(Brian Krause) "Good morning."
(Alyssa Milano) "Yeah, we heard."

(Alyssa Milano) "No time to dawdle, there's a baby on the way."
(Brian Krause) "This is crazy. You can't leave like this."
(Rose McGowan) "We, very well can't ignore Chris's birth now can we?"
(Drew Fuller) "I'm the baby. I give you permission to."

(Alyssa Milano) "I need your help."
(Julian McMahon) "You've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn."

(Alyssa Milano) "I mean, you're not even showing yet -- except for your boobies."
(Holly Marie Combs) "I'm telling you, they are large and they are definitely in charge."

(Prue) "Yeah, well, rules are meant to be broken."
(Alyssa Milano) "Yeah, but bodies weren't."
(Holly Marie Combs) "And neither were hearts."

(Alyssa Milano) "Hey. Don't call me sweetie. You can't imprison someone and then call them sweetie."

(Alyssa Milano) "Drake? Are you okay?"
(Drake Robin) "Drake? Who's Drake? I'm Robin Hood -- of Nottingham."

(Alyssa Milano) "What about water birth? Can we do that at home?"
(Alyssa Milano) "Sure, we can rent a tub."
(Holly Marie Combs) "What am I a dolphin? I'm not giving birth to fish."
(Brian Krause) "Well, actually, dolphins aren't fish. They're mammals."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Shut up."

Brian Krause as Leo

(Brian Krause) "Now you know why we don't summon her more often."

(Brian Krause) "You wanted a normal life, remember?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Look, that was before I realized our son was going to be humiliated in front of his entire class."
(Billie Jenkins) "Happened to me all the time. Only made me stronger."
(Holly Marie Combs) "And shut it."

(Brian Krause) "Piper, this is completely illegal."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Yeah? Well, so is marrying a dead guy, okay?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Let's not get technical now."

(Brian Krause) "Witch doctors are kind of a wild card. That's why the elders don't want us working with them."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Well, sometimes we don't want to work with the elders. So we're even."

(Brian Krause) "Give daddy back his powers now."

(Prue) "Where's Piper?"
(Brian Krause) "Upstairs, recovering from what happened at the office."
(Prue) "Why? What happened?"
(Brian Krause) "She -- sort of -- blew some of it up."

(Brian Krause) "You know, you're a pretty good whitelighter."
(Rose McGowan) "Well, I learned from the best."

(Prue) "Leo you can't just let Piper die."
(Brian Krause) "Don't you think I would do something about it if I could?"
(Prue) "But you love her."

(Brian Krause) "As your whitelighter, I'd say go with your instincts."
(Rose McGowan) "Okay."
(Brian Krause) "But as your brother-in-law, going up against your sisters would be pure suicide."
(Rose McGowan) "Great. You've really helped clarify this issue."

(Witch Doctor) "You sure these are good witches that live here?"
(Brian Krause) "The best. Although one of them is going to go very evil on us if we don't get this room cleaned up in a hurry. Believe me."
(Witch Doctor) "Is that a fact?"
(Brian Krause) "Well, not literally."

(Brian Krause) "Piper, I need you to help me find Paige."
(Holly Marie Combs) "I'm not talking to her until she cleans up her room."

(Brian Krause) "Well, I know from experience Darklighter poison doesn't kill immediately, so there's still a window of opportunity."

(Brian Krause) "Because nobody knows where it is. Its location has been kept secret even from the Elders."
(Rose McGowan) "Where was their infinite wisdom on the day that was decided?"

(Brian Krause) "Dammit."
(Rose McGowan) "Are Elders even allowed to swear?"
(Brian Krause) "No, but fathers are."

(Brian Krause) "-- plus ours will be doubly magical; half Whitelighter. Half witch."
(Rose McGowan) "Hey, that's like me. Oh. You might have some problems."

(Brian Krause) "How about I buy you a drink?"
(Lee Arenberg) "Thanks. I've all ready got one."
(Brian Krause) "That's not gonna be enough."

(Brian Krause) "It's your love that keeps me sane and whole and balanced"

(Brian Krause) "I hate to be a bearer of bad news."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Could you possibly be the bearer of a big hug?"

(Brian Krause) "Well, what if he makes his move before you get a chance to vanquish him?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "I'll freeze him."
(Brian Krause) "Now you're confident in your powers?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Okay, so maybe I'll blow him up."
(Brian Krause) "But what if he blows us up first?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Well, you're already dead, what's the difference."

(Brian Krause) "What is that? Is that a time portal? Is that what that is? What are you using it for?"
(Chris Perry) "I don't have to answer that."
(Brian Krause) "I thought you said you had nothing to hide."
(Chris Perry) "I don't have to answer that either."

(Brian Krause) "The spell, Piper, you need to reverse it. Fast."
(Holly Marie Combs) "I'm not sure I can."
(Rose McGowan) "Then you'd better make us disappear 'cause this one's gonna be tough to explain."

(Brian Krause) "Being with her broke the rules. Not being with her breaks my heart."

(Brian Krause) "What are you doing?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "I'm replacing the roof. It was just too dirty."

(Brian Krause) "Uh, Paige, where did you orb in from?"
(Rose McGowan) "I was dealing with some personal issues."
(Brian Krause) "Well, I'm your whitelighter so if you ever want to talk --"
(Holly Marie Combs) "No."

(Brian Krause) "Damn it, Paige. I would appreciate it if you didn't practice on me. I may be dead, but it still hurts."

(Dan Gordon) "Don't you have another house to repair?"
(Brian Krause) "No."

(Brian Krause) "Look, Piper, no matter what happens --"
(Holly Marie Combs) "No --"
(Brian Krause) "You have to keep trying to make contact."
(Holly Marie Combs) "I don't want him to hear it --"
(Brian Krause) "He's not after you, he's after me."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Would you please stop trying to save me."
(Brian Krause) "I'm sorry I got you into this."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Yeah, just one ordeal after another, right?"
(Brian Krause) "I've never stopped loving you."

(Brian Krause) "Yeah, that little elf? Got a big mouth."

(Brian Krause) "Did you find out anything?"
(Alyssa Milano) "Besides having a twenty-four hour death wish? Nope."

(Brian Krause) "Phoebe, you cant be the Queen of the Underworld and a charmed one."

Holly Marie Combs as Piper

(Holly Marie Combs) "Don't worry for I hold the power of -- one."

(Holly Marie Combs) "What's that?"
(Brian Krause) "That's our little boy."

(Holly Marie Combs) "So what do you say to an overbearing younger sister who's treating her pregnant older sister like a porcelain doll?"
(Alyssa Milano) ""Thank you"?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "How about "Knock it off"?"
(Alyssa Milano) "That's probably better advice."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Leo, I have growing powers inside of me. Powers that I don't understand, and the only person who does understand them never has time to talk. Add that to raging hormones and I guarantee you I am absolutely entitled to do the 'crying thing'."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Kiss this bitch."

(Holly Marie Combs) "So why is Sir Lust-A-Lot after you?"
(Rose McGowan) "How should I know?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Well, because it's your damn fairy tale and it's alive and frozen in our kitchen."

(Holly Marie Combs) "You got anything that would go with combat boots? You know, for the mommy-to-be who kicks some ass on occasion."

(Holly Marie Combs) "I just wish I could get a live guy."

(Holly Marie Combs) "I didn't have to resort to maternity clothes. Everything is so bright and cheery and ruffly."

(Prue) "What are you doing?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "I think you've got fleas."
(Prue) "You know what? That's so not funny because I think I do."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Phoebe's pregnant."
(Brian Krause) "What, huh, really?"

(Holly Marie Combs) "Paige. There will be no talk of testicle-orbing in front of the baby."
(Brian Krause) "Or his father."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Yeah. Sure, why not? We could have another funeral tomorrow. I mean, all the dishes are out and we pretty much know who to invite."

(Holly Marie Combs) "I thought ghosts could go anywhere they wanted."
(Julian McMahon) "You are not a ghost, you are inbetween."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Darryl, I'm sorry, but what do you want me to say? My sister was just possessed with a supernaturally born killer and my husband is in 1994, and I do not mean in the fashion sense. He time traveled back with my other sister so the only one left to help me is you."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Ugh. That tastes like ass -- phalt."

(Holly Marie Combs) "I don't need to take a deep breath. I need to find my husband."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Are you going to help or are you just going to ramble?"
(Rose McGowan) "I'm just going to ramble."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Leo, you're a nice guy, and I like you a lot, but let's face it, you're geographically undesirable."

(Holly Marie Combs) "You knew about this supernatural Jenny Jones reunion, didn't you?"

(Prue) "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "I'm going to be a very good witch from now on."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Geez, you're like my husband with boobs."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Oh, you know what? She's getting angry. And our powers don't work so good when we're angry."
(Unnamed) "We've got them now."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Yeah, you've got us now so why don't you blow us up?"
(Alyssa Milano) "Piper, death bad, life good."
(Rose McGowan) "Don't worry, this bimbo couldn't hit the broadside of a beauty parlour. Check out that dye job."
(Unnamed) "How dare you."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Run."

(Grams) "Piper blew up the wolf from inside. Although it took her long enough."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Hey, back off Grams, I just saved your ass."

(Holly Marie Combs) "I didn't need a sign to tell me where my heart lies."

(Holly Marie Combs) "I mean, why would a demon be interested in killing people's dreams? They're harmless, erotic fun."
(Rose McGowan) "Did you say 'erotic'?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Exotic. I said exotic."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Are you out of your mind, AGAIN?"

(Holly Marie Combs) "Paige. Is everything okay?"
(Rose McGowan) "Better than okay. I'm going to have a love life."
(Alyssa Milano) "You're making a love potion?"
(Rose McGowan) "No, I'm making a stun potion."
(Holly Marie Combs) "So that lovers will be stunned by you?"
(Rose McGowan) "No, so that Kazis will be stunned by me."
(Alyssa Milano) "You're in love with a Kazi demon?"
(Rose McGowan) "Try to stay with me, people."

(Holly Marie Combs) "He swears they're not watching but he's a guy, he'll say anything."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Oh. You're assuming because I'm not tall, tattooed, or big-breasted that I'm not important. That's a bad assumption because I own this club, which makes me a V.V.V.I.P.""

(Holly Marie Combs) "OK -- let me handle Wyatt. This requires a mother's touch -- Wyatt Matthew Halliwell. You stop this nonsense right now."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Aww I was such a cute baby."
(Brian Krause) "Yea I know."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Leo, you're not even looking at the picture."
(Brian Krause) "Well I've been watching you you're whole life."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Yea ok that's too creepy to think about."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Be careful of the feet you step on, they may be connected to the boot that kicks your ass."

(Holly Marie Combs) "It was all of those women showing off their sonogram pictures, and it was just working on my last nerve. Like, "Look, it's Jasper's first photo. And it's going to go on the fridge in a magnetic frame that says 'Jasper's First Photo'.""
(Brian Krause) "Okay, I thought prenatal yoga was supposed to help you relax."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Don't act blonde."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Hello?"
(Alyssa Milano) "Hey, did you make the potion?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Potion? P-P-Paige is making the potion."
(Holly Marie Combs) "And I have ten glorious minutes then I have to have my herbs."
(Alyssa Milano) "Great, because I need your help fast. Karen's gonna get fired unless we get her advice column in by 8:00 tonight."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Uh-huh."
(Alyssa Milano) "So what would tell a twenty-eight year old woman who's still living in her parents house because she's afraid of living alone?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "I'd tell her to get a life."
(Alyssa Milano) "How can I write that? We fight demons every day. How can I tell her that there's nothing to be afraid of, you know? (Piper makes a noise as Leo disappears behind the bar again, smiling.) What are you doing, Piper?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "I am taking my own advice."
(Alyssa Milano) "Eww."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Wow, prenatal yoga this morning and now you want to crash a stranger's funeral? You really do need friends."
(Rose McGowan) "You're mean."

(Lazarus Demon) "Go to hell."
(Holly Marie Combs) "I'm already there."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Every other mother-to-be does not have to worry about her child orbing to Tahiti when they are sent to their room."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Cole, if you don't get me the hell outta here right now --"
(Julian McMahon) "You're the one that didn't want me to go easy on you."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Doesn't mean I wanted you to. Now get me out the damned wall."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Oh, no. Am I dead again?"

(Holly Marie Combs) "Oh, you know what? She's getting angry. And our powers don't work so good when we're angry."
(Mitzy Stillman) "We've got them now."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Yeah, you've got us now so why don't you blow us up?"
(Alyssa Milano) "Piper, death bad, life good."
(Rose McGowan) "Don't worry, this bimbo couldn't hit the broadside of a beauty parlour. Check out that dye job."
(Mabel Stillman) "How dare you."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Run."

(Holly Marie Combs) "See what I mean? We have bigger, naked breasts to worry about."
(Alyssa Milano) "Paige has her naked breasts to worry about and I've got yours."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Bad Prue. Very bad Prue."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Hi, Kujo, who you growling at?"

(Holly Marie Combs) "Wasn't there a confidence spell in the book?"
(Alyssa Milano) "Yeah, remember we cast it on that waiter at Quake?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Wow. Quake. That was a long time ago."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Yeah, like that doesn't have personal gain tattooed across its forehead."

(Holly Marie Combs) "So let me get this straight. You summoned me to a cage where our powers don't work so, what, we could all die together?"
(Rose McGowan) "I'll admit the plan has a few flaws."

(Tull) "Xavier? Where are you?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "You're stepping on him."

(Prue) "Here's to Leo for saving me from eternal torment."
(Holly Marie Combs) "And to me for not trying to be the perfect couple, if it isn't good enough for them, then screw them."

(Grams) "Have you been exercising your powers daily?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Do I need to?"
(Grams) "Well, you know, if you don't want to lose control of them. Did you perform a ritual to promote growth?"
(Grams) "Did you cast a spell to ward off demonic parasites?"
(Grams) "Sweetheart, what did you do?"
(Brian Krause) "We built a nursery in our bedroom closet."
(Grams) "No wonder this baby summoned me."

(Holly Marie Combs) "So your new-and-improved premonitions are just a more vivid way of telling us we're screwed?"

(Holly Marie Combs) "You stole our sacred book so you could perform magical plastic surgery on yourself?"

(Holly Marie Combs) "Is that why you didn't want to go around the world in 80 orbs?"

(Holly Marie Combs) "Uh, Phoebe, you're evil. You're like the queen of all evil, literally."

(Holly Marie Combs) "So what you're saying is, that whatever you're keeping from me is enough to piss me off but not put me in any danger. At the moment."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Phoebe, how many times have I told you not to play dress-up with the demons?"

(Holly Marie Combs) "I dreamt an animated musical last night. Is that normal?"

(Holly Marie Combs) "Vanquish demon first, kill husband later."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Ah."
(Alyssa Milano) "What?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Oh, my God. You two could scare the hair off a cat. No demons dare drop by here."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Tell me the truth. Do you think I'm pushing it too far with the wedding?"
(Prue) "Okay, why is Phoebe going to school without her books?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Okay, why is Prue not answering Piper's question?"

(Holly Marie Combs) "Where's my baby?"
(Brian Krause) "Over here."
(Rose McGowan) "Oh, my God."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Oh, my God."
(Brian Krause) "Oh, my God."
(Slappy) "Oh, that doesn't sound good."

(Holly Marie Combs) "That's what they do, Phoebe, they come back. They snarl and come back."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Oh, please, please, somebody help me. The mean demon is dipping me into the water and it's really cold."

(Holly Marie Combs) "I've come to the conclusion that if you've got it, then you must flaunt it."
(Alyssa Milano) "That's my niece in that belly."
(Rose McGowan) "She's my niece, too."
(Alyssa Milano) "Hi, niece. It's your favorite aunt, Phoebe."

(Holly Marie Combs) "How can you be so evil?"
(Julian McMahon) "It's a gift."

(Holly Marie Combs) "You know, if I could freeze the two of you, I would, often."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Wow, you really know your stuff."
(Rose McGowan) "Well, I learned from the best. I learned from you."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Thank you, Whitney Houston. Do I sock you in the face now?"

(Holly Marie Combs) "I think I know how to find the demon --"
(Holly Marie Combs) "-stration. Demonstration."
(Holly Marie Combs) "She knows what I'm talking about."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Everyone's treating me so differently. I'm still me. There's just a whole lot more of me going on."
(Rose McGowan) "Hey, guys. Oh, I'm sorry. Were you ranting?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Yes, I was, but I'm done now. Thank you."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Why didn't you save her?"
(Brian Krause) "I tried."
(Holly Marie Combs) "But you didn't. Why didn't they let you save her, too?"
(Brian Krause) "The Elders? They couldn't. They don't have that kind of power."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Then what the hell good are they?"
(Brian Krause) "It's okay to be angry."
(Holly Marie Combs) "I'm not angry. I am pissed off. Don't you understand? You healed the wrong sister. You saved me because I'm your damn wife, and you should've saved her because she was the best. Because she, you should."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Why do they put us through so much for it to end this way?"

(Holly Marie Combs) "Yeah, but this demon didn't even seem to know who we were, which by the way I find insulting."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Look, I know I didn't call to confirm, but I was busy creating life, okay?"

(Holly Marie Combs) "What are we gonna do?"
(Brian Krause) "What we always do."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Talk about it later."

(Holly Marie Combs) "He's so -- innocent. If only he had any idea what Mommy and Auntie Paige did today."
(Brian Krause) "They turned a very bad man to a very big tree."

(Holly Marie Combs) "So, what do you think? Should we go with Oprah, or Barbra? Barbra makes you cry. We go with Oprah."

(Holly Marie Combs) "I'll play the bitch, you play the witch, ok?"

(Holly Marie Combs) "So, here's the deal. We'll spare your lives if you pull your skanky little power out of her."

(Holly Marie Combs) "What are you doing?"
(Chris Perry) "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm trying to find a way to free stone cold Paige over there"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Step away from the book."
(Chris Perry) "Oh, please. Like I haven't looked in this thing before? By the way, you should update you're goblins entry. It'll come in handy someday."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Goblins?"
(Chris Perry) "Yeah. It's gonna get ugly. Trust me. Look, I know you have no reason to trust me, but the book thinks I'm good, shouldn't you?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "Well, maybe you found a way around it."

(Holly Marie Combs) "You asked me to marry you, and I did. You wanted a family, and I gave you a son. And now you just want me to watch you walk away?"
(Brian Krause) "Piper it's not that simple."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Then make it simple."

(Holly Marie Combs) "I think my half whitelighter baby thought fireworks would be prettier than demon guts."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Heads up. Pregnant lady coming through with the groceries."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Phoebs, friendly little tip. Lay off the hairspray, there's a fire starter in the house."

(Prue) "Great, so some guy couldn't keep it in his sheath and now I'm marked for death."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Well, some men can be very sensitive about their weapons."

(Holly Marie Combs) "All right, that's it. Break it up. You go back to your corner and you, you're gonna get ready and we're gonna put lots and lots of makeup on you."

(Holly Marie Combs) "Yeah, next time get your own damn lipstick."
(Prue) "I heard that."
(Holly Marie Combs) "I love you."
(Prue) "Bite me."

(Head Dwarf) "When's her prince getting here?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "She doesn't have a prince."
(Head Dwarf) "No prince? So then who's going to kiss her?"
(Stinky) "I'll do it."
(Dorian Gregory) "In your dreams stinky. I'll do it."
(Stinky) "I told you not to call me that."
(Head Dwarf) "People. A little professional decorum here please."
(Head Dwarf) "Forgive them, it's been a while."

Julian McMahon as Cole

(Julian McMahon) "You've got to hold my hand."
(Prue) "This already sucks."

(Bacarra) "I'm Bacarra, I've come here from the future."
(Julian McMahon) "-- Well, I can't say I've heard that before."

(Julian McMahon) "I think Leo should orb me down to the Underworld. I may not be a demon anymore, but I still know the terrain."
(Alyssa Milano) "And you may just find yourself in ever-lasting pain."
(Rose McGowan) "-- That was a rhyme."
(Alyssa Milano) "I know; and now is not the time."

(Julian McMahon) "You're pregnant?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "I was, but now I think Leo is."

(Julian McMahon) "Don't you think you're being a little paranoid?"
(Alyssa Milano) "With my demon ex-husband from hell?"

(Julian McMahon) "Ok, I know you're angry, but before you say anything, we found out that the faction is led by a Warlock named Devlin."
(Alyssa Milano) "Hmmm -- he looked more like a Joe to me."

(Julian McMahon) "Did you get my flowers?"
(Alyssa Milano) "Yeah. "Sorry I tried to strangle you" Probably not a card the florist gets to write everyday."

(Julian McMahon) "What? I -- I knocked."

(Julian McMahon) "I'm goin' straight to hell cause it's got to be a sin to look THIS good."

(Julian McMahon) "Phoebe, I love you. I don't know what's going on but maybe I can help. Would you like me to kill someone for you?"

(Julian McMahon) "Put it down. Gently."
(Sean Patrick Flanery) "I can't. The witch'll kill me."
(Julian McMahon) "So will I. You don't wanna hurt her. (Adam throws the pumpkin and Cole freezes it. He walks over and picks it up.) Oh, what am I gonna do with you? (He unfreezes Adam and punches him in the face.) Keep your hands off my pumpkin."

Henry Gibson as Andy

(Henry Gibson) "Everything happens for a reason, remember, you told me that, Prue."

Drew Fuller as Chris

(Drew Fuller) "I was just wondering how it went with the doctor."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Well, you'll be happy to know that you're a boy."
(Drew Fuller) "That's not what I meant."
(Rose McGowan) "I don't see it."
(Holly Marie Combs) "Oh, see, it's this little thing right here --"
(Drew Fuller) "Whoa."
(Drew Fuller) "Excuse me. Do you mind?"

(Drew Fuller) "In the future, everyone tried to control the demon with no name, but it can't be done."
(Grams) "That's hardly a winning attitude, young man. And why, in heaven's name, couldn't the people in the future find some name for that thing?"

(Drew Fuller) "Where is Paige?"
(Alyssa Milano) "She's at her new temp job."
(Drew Fuller) "She's still on that kick?"
(Holly Marie Combs) "It's not a kick, Chris. It's her quest for happiness outside of magic."
(Drew Fuller) "Yeah, but it's a temp job. Who finds happiness in a temp job?"

Lee Arenberg as Death

(Strife) "Yeah, right, kill them all, that's your solution for everything."
(Lee Arenberg) "You want a fight?"
(Strife) "It's my specialty."

Eric Dane as Jason Dean

(Eric Dane) "Do you like Chinese?"
(Eric Dane) "Food, not people."

Billy Drago as Barbas

(Billy Drago) "How cute. The great big elder's afraid of the teeny-weeny itsy-witsy baby."

Grace Zabriskie as The Crone

(Kazi King) "How will we know if it worked?"
(Grace Zabriskie) "Common sense."
(Kazi King) "Dare you mock me, Crone?"
(Grace Zabriskie) "On occasion."

Finola Hughes as Wyatt Halliwell

(Finola Hughes) "Is this Chris? He's so small. Is this before or after he swallowed that marble?"

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