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Can't Hardly Wait Quotes

Can't Hardly Wait is a TV show that was first aired in 1970 . Can't Hardly Wait completed its run in 1970.

It features Betty Thomas as producer, David Kitay in charge of musical score, and Lloyd Ahern as head of cinematography.

Can't Hardly Wait is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Can't Hardly Wait is 101 minutes long. Can't Hardly Wait is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Jennifer Love Hewitt as Amanda Becket, Charlie Korsmo as William, Seth Green as Kenny Fisher, Robert Jayne as Ritchie Koolboy, Lauren Ambrose as Denise, Ethan Embry as Preston, Sara Rue as Earth Girl, Peter Facinelli as Mike Dexter, Clea DuVall as Jana, Jerry O'Connell as Trip McNeely, and Erik Palladino as Cop.

Can't Hardly Wait Quotes

Seth Green as Kenny Fisher

  • (Seth Green) "'Sup, ladies? Yo Jana, wanna dance?"
  • (Clea DuVall) "I'm allergic."
  • (Seth Green) "You're allergic to dancing?"
  • (Clea DuVall) "Yeah."
  • (Seth Green) "Yo, I gotta have sex tonight. I mean peep this; They say here ninety-two percent of the honeys at UCLA are sexually active. Ninety-two of the women in Los Angeles at UCLA walking around going, "Class -- or sex? What shall I do?" Ninety-two percent, yo. Hey, you know what that means?"
  • (Robert Jayne) "What?"
  • (Seth Green) "It means I gots a ninety-two percent chance of embarrassing myself. I roll up on that shorty be like, "What's up yo?" she be like, "You don't know 20 different ways to make me call you Big Poppa" cuz I don't yo."
  • (Seth Green) "It's been on your mind the last six years, you could have mentioned something."
  • (Lauren Ambrose) "When? When you were ignoring me in the halls, when you were writing Denise Flemming is a tampon on my locker Freshman year."
  • (Seth Green) "I did not write Denise Flemming is a tampon."
  • (Lauren Ambrose) "Right, just like you didn't destroy my Cabbage Patch Kid in second grade."
  • (Seth Green) "Second grade, besides I admitted that right away."
  • (Lauren Ambrose) "No you didn't. When I picked her up her head fell off and you started to cry. It kind of tipped me off."
  • (Seth Green) "I did not cry."
  • (Lauren Ambrose) "Ok."
  • (Seth Green) "Fine. I told John Kiseman to write Denise Flemming's a tampon. I felt really bad after."
  • (Seth Green) "Woman, this is all your fault. Come bargin' in here like a friggin' moose."
  • (Seth Green) "I better double bag it. I don't know where that girl been."
  • (Seth Green) "Yo, I'm just pausin' while those two hos over there scratch it out over who gets to knock the boots with me."
  • (Seth Green) "Ya know what I'm saying? Yeah."
  • (Robert Jayne) "What two ho's?"
  • (DJ Sammy) "I don't see no ho's yo."
  • (Seth Green) "Yo, what, you callin' me a liar."
  • (DJ Sammy) "Hey, yo why you shovin' cracker?"
  • (Robert Jayne) "Yo, you better recognize, fool."
  • (Seth Green) "Why y'all gotta waste my flava? Damn."
  • (Seth Green) "Those shoes."
  • (Lauren Ambrose) "What?"
  • (Seth Green) "Do they serve an orthopedic function?"
  • (Seth Green) "Let's go, boys. Time is honey."
  • (Seth Green) "Hey, whatsup?"
  • (Seth Green) "Damn, it is noisy in here. Wanna go talk outside? Should be quieter out there."
  • (Stephanie, Stoned Girl) "Okay."
  • (Seth Green) "Do you, uh -- what a drink?"
  • (Stephanie, Stoned Girl) "Okay."
  • (Seth Green) "Uh -- how 'bout I poison it?"
  • (Stephanie, Stoned Girl) "Okay."
  • (Seth Green) "Hey, whaddya say we, uh -- go upstairs and --"
  • (Candy, Stoned Girl's Friend) "Stephanie. There you are."
  • (Candy, Stoned Girl's Friend) "Thank God you found her. She just took three thingies of herbal ecstasy and wondered off. She's so out of it, anything could have happened and she probably wouldn't even know it. God, I was so worried somebody was -- well you know, taking advantage of her or something. Here, help me get her on her feet."
  • (Candy, Stoned Girl's Friend) "Come on honey, I'm gonna take you to the car."
  • (Stephanie, Stoned Girl) "Okay."
  • (Seth Green) "Damn, she's gonna think I got that premature evacuation."
  • (Seth Green) "I did not write 'Denise Fleming is a tampon' on your locker."
  • (Seth Green) "All right this is it. It is finally time for Kenny Fisher to become -- da man. Now I've done my laps, and all ten finalists are present and accounted for. Ten lovely ladies, yo. Each one at my disposal. Ten willing and able tour guides into the theme park of love. But who will it be? Which of you gorgeous ten will be the lucky one?"
  • (Seth Green) "You got -- you have no idea what you're talking about. You don't even know me any more."
  • (Yearbook Girl) "Kenny Fisher, sign my yearbook."
  • (Seth Green) "No, thanks. No time."
  • (Yearbook Girl) "Come on. Where's your school spirit? Go, Hot Dogs."
  • (DJ Sammy) "Bitch, get a life."

Ethan Embry as Preston

  • (Ethan Embry) "This is officially the worst night of my entire life. Thank you very much."
  • (Angel) "Try having forty drunk men grabbing your ass, one groom to be throwing up all over you and then have your car break down at 2am and then you can talk to me about having a bad night, OK?"
  • (Ethan Embry) "I don't know about you, but I really believe that there's one person out there, and for me it's gotta be Amanda."
  • (Ethan Embry) "Hey, I've got one for ya. Remember that time when I was about to talk to that beautiful girl, and you came up to me and started telling me all these asinine stories? Remember that, huh?"
  • (Reminiscing Guy) "No."
  • (Ethan Embry) "Gee, that's funny. Because it just happened."
  • (Reminiscing Guy) "Hey, I ain't gonna forget this, man. You just wait, I ain't inviting you to any 10-year reunion."
  • (Ethan Embry) "I can't believe you pointed at her."
  • (Lauren Ambrose) "Look, she didn't see me. What are you, hyperventilating?"
  • (Ethan Embry) "No, I'm hiransing my chi."
  • (Lauren Ambrose) "What?"
  • (Ethan Embry) "I'm harnessing my chi."
  • (Ethan Embry) "Don't laugh at me."
  • (Lauren Ambrose) "Were you this weird when we went out?"
  • (Ethan Embry) "Were you this bitchy when we went out?"
  • (Lauren Ambrose) "Yes, I was a bitchy eighth grader for that whole week, actually."
  • (Ethan Embry) "It was October, freshman year. First time in history that I'd ever missed the bus. If I had arrived on time, I never would've seen her. But as it was, I was the first person at Huntington Hills High to set eyes on Amanda Beckett. It was her first day at school. Then, I'm sitting in class enjoying a late breakfast when out of all the classrooms in the entire school, she walks into mine. And where does the teacher sit her? Right next to me. Now, up until now, one could write this off to coincidence. But then she reaches in her bag and pulls out a strawberry Pop-Tart; the very same breakfast pastry I was consuming at that moment. What was I to do? How was I to proceed?"
  • (Reminiscing Guy) "Yo, Preston? Preston Meyers? Dude, what's going on? I'm so glad I got a chance to see you. I know you're leaving tomorrow. I'm gonna miss you man, you know?"
  • (Ethan Embry) "It's okay, man. Don't worry about it."
  • (Reminiscing Guy) "I was totally remembering that time when we were in 7th grade, and we like mashed up all our food on our lunch trays and you payed me a dollar to eat it, and I did? What was the best."
  • (Ethan Embry) "Yeah, good times."
  • (Reminiscing Guy) "Hey, what about that time during softball practice when Ricky Feldman hit that line drive and it hit you right in your nuts? That was the funniest."
  • (Mary, Crying Drunk Girl) "Thush bezt tea weveram sisu gizem chext ear."
  • (Ethan Embry) "There's one at every party."
  • (Lauren Ambrose) "Kind of makes you never want to drink, huh?"

Erik Palladino as Cop

  • (Erik Palladino) "Miss, for the last time, please stop crying and give me your name and address."
  • (Mary, Crying Drunk Girl) "Butolu msahson undsevent norlk."
  • (Erik Palladino) "Lichter? William Lichter? Let's go. Your parents are here to take you home."
  • (Charlie Korsmo) "Oh -- no. Oh -- my parents? They're here? They must be so mad at me. Have you seen my father? Does he have a weapon of some kind?"
  • (Erik Palladino) "Afraid not. Actually, they're more worried about you than anything else. You know, it's not your fault that --"
  • (Erik Palladino) "Mike Dexter beat you up and forced you to drink alcohol until you passed out."
  • (Charlie Korsmo) "Wh-what?"
  • (Erik Palladino) "That's the statement we got from the Dexter kid. He made you drink, took your chothes off."
  • (Charlie Korsmo) "He -- he said that?"
  • (Erik Palladino) "Unless -- if you have another unconvincing side of the story you'd like to tell --"
  • (Charlie Korsmo) "No -- no, no, no. It's what -- yeah. Uh, you know. It's just the funny thing that -- he finally came clean, you know? Mike, always picking on me, yeah."

Peter Facinelli as Mike Dexter

  • (Peter Facinelli) "Have I got some news for you."
  • (Girl Mike Hits On #1) "Really? What's that?"
  • (Peter Facinelli) "That I, recently, became single."
  • (Girl Mike Hits On #2) "And?"
  • (Peter Facinelli) "Well, I just remember Jeff Garner saying a little something about you girls thinking I was the hottest senior in school."
  • (Girl Mike Hits On #2) "Yeah, heh, heh. And, I remember Jeff Garner saying that, uh, you told him we were skanky."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "He told you that?"
  • (Peter Facinelli) "Okay. See you later."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "I'll kick everyone's ass in this room."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "Guys, we're gonna be in college soon. You know what there's gonna be in college, right?"
  • (Jake, Jock #1) "Girls that used to be in high school."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "No, women. College women. Women with no curfew, women on the pill, women -- women, bro. We are staring into the future here. And the future is women."

Charlie Korsmo as William

  • (Charlie Korsmo) "I downloaded this little baby off the Net. I will know exactly how many spirits I may imbibe without affecting my judgment or my behavior."
  • (X-Phile 2) "You have every angle covered."
  • (X-Phile 1) "You know William, from this light, you somewhat resemble David Duchovny."
  • (Charlie Korsmo) "You -- have to come with me. There's this chick -- there's these two chicks -- they're triplets, man. You're not going to believe what they're doing. Not because I made it up or anything but because it is so -- unbelievable. Come on out to the pool house, 'cause they told me to tell you -- they want you to watch. So, come out -- the pool house, come on --"
  • (Peter Facinelli) "I'm a loser. I broke up with the hottest girl in school, my friends all sold me out -- and somebody in there just called me a fag."
  • (Charlie Korsmo) "You know what they say about women and trolley cars. There's plenty of 'em in the sea."
  • (Charlie Korsmo) "Wild Bill Rock and Roll."
  • (X-Phile 1) "I'm telling you, that patch of sky right up there above those powerlines is like a superhighway for UFO activity."
  • (X-Phile 2) "Yeah, right. I wonder how William's doing at the party. I just hope he isn't having any trouble blending in."
  • (Charlie Korsmo) "Isn't there something I was supposed to do tonight?"
  • (Charlie Korsmo) "I can't feel my legs, I HAVE NO LEGS."
  • (Charlie Korsmo) "You see the salt on this pretzel? Look at the stars. Some people, they say the stars are billions and billions of tons of hot gas. But I think maybe, maybe it's just God's salt. And God's just waiting to eat us."
  • (Charlie Korsmo) "Nobody drink the beer, the beer has gone bad."
  • (Charlie Korsmo) "Okay, you're Boba Fett, and you're Grand Moff Tarkin."
  • (X-Phile 1) "How come he gets to be Boba Fett?"
  • (Charlie Korsmo) "Ok, fine, you're Boba Fett, and you're Grand Moff Tarkin."
  • (X-Phile 2) "I don't want to be Grand Moff Tarkin."
  • (Charlie Korsmo) "All right, fine, you know what? You're both KISS dolls."

Lauren Ambrose as Denise

  • (Tassel Guy) "Don't you want to keep your tassel? You know for $5, you can keep your tassel."
  • (Lauren Ambrose) "Yeah, then I can press it between my yearbook and my prom corsage."
  • (Lauren Ambrose) "Besides, I heard that song was about his dog."
  • (Ethan Embry) "It's not about a dog. It's about a woman named Amanda. Who the hell names their dog Amanda?"
  • (Lauren Ambrose) "My cousin had a dog name Samantha."
  • (Ethan Embry) "Shut up about the dog, OK?"
  • (Lauren Ambrose) "Looks like someone's auditioning for "Soul Train.""
  • (Ethan Embry) "Do you have to rat out on everybody?"
  • (Lauren Ambrose) "Oh, come on. His wardrobe alone leaves him open for public mockery."
  • (Lauren Ambrose) "There's a mirror right there. Take a look, you're white."
  • (Yearbook Girl) "So why didn't you get your picture taken?"
  • (Lauren Ambrose) "Specifically to avoid moments like this."
  • (Yearbook Girl) "Great, thanks."
  • (Lauren Ambrose) "Just so you know, judging from my little experience, I kind of believe in fate. It just works in really fucked up ways sometimes."
  • (Ethan Embry) "Especially in your case. I'm sorry. You gave that to me, I just had to take it. Take care. Peace out, G."

Jennifer Love Hewitt as Amanda Becket

  • (Reminiscing Guy) "Hey Amanda."
  • (Jennifer Love Hewitt) "Hey."
  • (Reminiscing Guy) "Remember that time we danced at the sock hop?"
  • (Jennifer Love Hewitt) "Yeah."
  • (Reminiscing Guy) "I just wanted you to know I had the hugest boner and I was just wondering if maybe you and I could get together and -- work it out."
  • (Yearbook Girl) "Amanda, you still didn't sign my yearbook."
  • (Yearbook Girl) "Actually, I'm trying to get everyone to sign by their own picture."
  • (Jennifer Love Hewitt) "Oh shit."
  • (Jennifer Love Hewitt) "You know what? Why don't you go off and get yourself a goddamn life, asshole?"
  • (Keg Guy) "Thanks, man. That's the funniest thing I've seen all night."
  • (Stoner Guy) "Preston? I dunno, his hair's kinda, I dunno, brown?"
  • (Matt, Watermelon Guy) "No, it's not really brown. Oh, he's tall."
  • (Stoner Guy) "Yeah, he's kinda kinda tall. Sorta tall. And he's like always wearing like t-shirts."
  • (Jennifer Love Hewitt) "So, he's sort of tall?"
  • (Stoner Guy) "Kind of."
  • (Jennifer Love Hewitt) "With -- hair?"
  • (Stoner Guy) "Yeah."
  • (Jennifer Love Hewitt) "And he wears t-shirts sometimes?"
  • (Stoner Guy) "Yeah."
  • (Matt, Watermelon Guy) "Yes."
  • (Jennifer Love Hewitt) "That's it?"
  • (Matt, Watermelon Guy) "Yes"
  • (Stoner Guy) "Well -- I mean, he's Preston. It's Preston. Ya know?"
  • (Matt, Watermelon Guy) "I like that guy."
  • (Stoner Guy) "Pres-STONE."
  • (Stoner Guy) "You know who else I like, who never got much play? Is Velma, from Scooby-Doo"
  • (Matt, Watermelon Guy) "Rooby Rooby Roo."
  • (Stoner Guy) "She; right; she was also a cool; she was a hip, hip, lady."
  • (Matt, Watermelon Guy) "Hip Chick."
  • (Jennifer Love Hewitt) "Serriously, you guys, I'm over it."
  • (Jennifer Love Hewitt) "What?"
  • (Beth, Girlfriend #1) "Nothing, sorry. It's just that Mike is the most dope guy in school."
  • (Jennifer Love Hewitt) "Yeah, and school's over."
  • (Cindi, Girlfriend #2) "Anyway, who does he think he is? Brad Pitt?"
  • (Rachel, Girlfriend #3) "Seriously, and you're like Gwyneth."
  • (Beth, Girlfriend #1) "Seriously, you know he regrets breaking up with her."
  • (Cindi, Girlfriend #2) "You really are Gwyneth, but with bigger boobs."

Jerry O'Connell as Trip McNeely

  • (Jerry O'Connell) "Hey man, you want a beer?"
  • (Peter Facinelli) "Trip McNeely."
  • (Jerry O'Connell) "Trip McNeely."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "No way, man."
  • (Jerry O'Connell) "Trip McNeely."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "Trip McNeely. Geez. You were a sexual icon. You know girls at Huntington still talk about you?"
  • (Jerry O'Connell) "Really? Which ones?"
  • (Peter Facinelli) "You must be racking up at college. College."
  • (Jerry O'Connell) "I wish, bro. I can't even get digits as a freshman."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "Shut up. Come on, you can tell me."
  • (Jerry O'Connell) "Seriously, man. I thought college was gonna be a 24-7 orgy. Hell, that's even why I broke up with Janeen before I left."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "S-so, what happened?"
  • (Jerry O'Connell) "College chicks are totally different, bro. They're all serious and shit. They all talk about world issues and "ecolomological" crap. They all wanna date older guys."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "Yeah, but -- not all of 'em, right?"
  • (Jerry O'Connell) "Way it goes. Hell, I even tried crawling back to Janeen. She was all cozy with some senior. He's a pre-med. They ALL are. Guys like us -- we are a dime a dozen."
  • (Jerry O'Connell) "Speaking of which, you still with that Amanda chick? She was a prize piece if I ever saw one."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "Yeah,"
  • (Peter Facinelli) "me and Amanda. Definitely. Yep."
  • (Jerry O'Connell) "You're lucky, bro."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "I sure am."
  • (Jerry O'Connell) "Stay with her. It's the best advice I can give you."
  • (Jerry O'Connell) "Oh, that, and bring rubber flip-flops in the shower. I got warts all over my feet."
  • (Peter Facinelli) "Take it easy, Trip. Trip McNeely. All right --"

Robert Jayne as Ritchie Koolboy

  • (Robert Jayne) "Aw damn, man. Our boy's a fag, yo."
  • (DJ Sammy) "Yo, who's a fag?"
  • (Seth Green) "Yo, both of y'all. That is a "Fragrance of Love" scented candle, bitch. Damn."

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