Absolutely Fabulous (series 4) Quotes

Absolutely Fabulous is a TV show that appeared on TV in 2001 on BBC One. Absolutely Fabulous stopped airing in 2001.

Absolutely Fabulous was on for 6 episodes.

The cast includes: Joanna Lumley as Patsy, Julia Sawalha as Saffie, Jane Horrocks as Bubble, Naoko Mori as Sarah, and Mo Gaffney as Bo.

Absolutely Fabulous Quotes

Joanna Lumley as Patsy

• (Joanna Lumley) "You piece of filth."

• (Joanna Lumley) "I thought a little mosey down Bond Street, a little sniff around Gucci, sidle up to Ralph Lauren, pass through Browns and on to Quags for a light lunch."

• (Eddie) "Sweetie, what are you drinking?"
• (Joanna Lumley) "Oh, this? Chanel No. 5."

• (Joanna Lumley) "Oh, Eddie -- is it -- Is it a bee?"

• (Joanna Lumley) "Take a holiday, darling. South of France."
• (Magda) "I don't do holidays. Everybody's a nobody in a bikini."

• (Joanna Lumley) "Easy going sex with gorgeous, underage youths --"
• (Eddie) "Yeaaah."

• (Eddie) "Pats. Pats. You know, like, when you are in a room or something, and you think someone is like staring at you --"
• (Joanna Lumley) "In a room?"
• (Eddie) "Or in a plane. Anywhere -- anywhere -- And you are sort of doing things because you think someone is looking at you like people are looking at you, you know?"
• (Joanna Lumley) "On a plane?"
• (Eddie) "Well, anywhere -- anywhere -- And then you look at them and they are just sort of asleep but their head is flopped in your direction, you know? Well, I don't want THAT to happen. I don't want THAT to be my life, you know. The whole world asleep."

• (Joanna Lumley) "It's fabulous, darling."

• (Joanna Lumley) "Welcome back, Marshall."

• (Eddie) "The word on the old grave marker, the words on your grave marker. What is that?"
• (Joanna Lumley) "Oh, your epitomb."
• (Eddie) "Your epitomb. What is it that you want on your epitomb?"
• (Joanna Lumley) "I want: "She was fantastic." -- "Patsy was here.""
• (Eddie) "No, darling, you can just have "Patsy Stone"."
• (Joanna Lumley) "Oh, Eddy, Eddy. Wait for this. Wait for this: "Eddy: Still no thinner.""
• (Eddie) "These are really funny. We could sell those."

• (Joanna Lumley) "One whiff of a cocoa bean and our customers would fly like vampires before garlic. Jeremy's must remain a sterile oasis, free from street eaters and coffee carriers. Aseptic and razor-sharp as our customers' hipbones. These women shop for lunch. Labels are their only sustenance. Their skeleton legs in Manolos have worn trenches down the pavement of Sloane Street. Their arm sinews have just enough muscles left in their arm to lift up a credit card."

• (Eddie) "What do you think of the kitchen, Pats?"
• (Joanna Lumley) "I think it's fabulous."
• (Julia Sawalha) "It isn't done yet."
• (Eddie) "No, sweetie. Maybe she's right. Maybe this IS fabulous."

• (Joanna Lumley) "They want you filleted and splayed on the butcher's block so they can photograph all your organs for "Heat" magazine."

• (Gran) "You're not eating, Patsy?"
• (Joanna Lumley) "No. Liquid lunch for me Mrs M."

• (Eddie) "What do you see when you look in the mirror, darling?"
• (Joanna Lumley) "Me looking fabulous. What do you see?"
• (Eddie) "Yeah -- Just the room."

• (Eddie) "They don't matter, do they, darling? -- Awards, Pats?"
• (Joanna Lumley) "Oh, Eddy. We've been here before."
• (Eddie) "It's just -- you know -- I WANT one. I don't just want one, darling, I NEED one. My career is on a toboggan run of failure at the moment -- I just need one. It's the only thing that seems to mean ANYthing these days -- I need one now before the menopause drags me into her gaping jaws. Before my creative hormonal oil-well dribbles to a halt. Before my bottom becomes just a patch-work quilt of monkey glands, darling."
• (Julia Sawalha) "But, Mom, menopause can be a very exhilarating and positive experience for a woman."
• (Eddie) "Oooh, yes. And the curse is a blessing and childbirth is painless. No. Unless that gaping hole on my mantle piece is filled pretty soon, darling, I might as well -- I might as well lick this light-switch and do us all a favour, darling --"

• (Joanna Lumley) "Oh you little BITCH TROLL FROM HELL."

• (Joanna Lumley) "I can get you a man."
• (Eddie) "Well, how?"
• (Joanna Lumley) "Pay."

• (Joanna Lumley) "I'm not happy."

• (Joanna Lumley) "Miserable little turnip."

Jane Horrocks as Bubble

• (Eddie) "I thought I told you to buy a laptop."
• (Jane Horrocks) "A lap -- top? Top?"
• (Eddie) "Get rid of it."
• (Jane Horrocks) "Oh. But I've grown so fond. And it's SO cute. And -- it's not just for life. It's for Christmas."

• (Jane Horrocks) "I turned on the, ah, watchamacallit this morning. I want to say telephone. No, that's not right. You look at it."
• (Eddie) "Television?"
• (Jane Horrocks) "That's it."

• (Jane Horrocks) "Black matter is dragging us all towards eternal dalmatian -- And before long we will all be cloned and turned into sheep. So, to avoid this fate, I am being picked up by a spaceship that is hidden in the tail of an approaching comet."
• (Jane Horrocks) "That'll be them buzzing now."

• (Jane Horrocks) "Ooo -- Bear with me, see, I am HOPELESS with names, faces and people."

Julia Sawalha as Saffie

• (Julia Sawalha) "My life just flashed before my eyes."
• (Eddie) "What was it like? A Bergman film without the jokes?"

• (Eddie) "All right, time for another little drinkie before we go?"
• (Julia Sawalha) "Where are you going?"
• (Eddie) "New York."
• (Julia Sawalha) "I didn't think they let people with convictions in."
• (Eddie) "Darling, it's not a conviction."
• (Joanna Lumley) "Just a firm belief."
• (Eddie) "Yes."

• (Julia Sawalha) "I am getting married."
• (Mo Gaffney) "Hallellujah. Praise the Lord. Let's speak in tongues; boolooloolooloolooloo."

• (Julia Sawalha) "Mum, what is the problem? I have my life and you have yours. This is what you wanted."
• (Eddie) "I feel orphaned, you know."
• (Julia Sawalha) "What is the matter? Has the deal fallen through?"
• (Eddie) "No the deal. Not the deal. Not that. It's just --"
• (Julia Sawalha) "What?"
• (Eddie) "Well, darling, you have just sort of abandoned me in this sort of wilderness of potential greatness and fabulousness, haven't you? All my walls have gone "flop", "flop" -- I'm just like this kind of prisoner that's released -- RELEASED PRISONER, darling, that is walking out into the squinting sun. I mean, you've cast me adrift with no oars."
• (Julia Sawalha) "You have oars."
• (Eddie) "I haven't."
• (Julia Sawalha) "You have. You're just too lazy and fat to use them."

• (Julia Sawalha) "You look like a haggis with pointed toes. A tight old bladder skin holding together some rotting offal."

Naoko Mori as Sarah

• (Naoko Mori) "Does your mother know you write plays and things?"
• (Julia Sawalha) "No, and I don't want her to either, so don't say anything."
• (Naoko Mori) "Oh, you don't need to worry. I don't speak to her anymore. Not since she gave me that chemical peel."
• (Julia Sawalha) "Well, it wasn't so much chemical. And not so much peel. She set fire to your pig-tails."
• (Naoko Mori) "It's good job I'm thick-skinned -- Well, except for the shoulder."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.