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Hilarious Valentine's Day Quotes - Page 2

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
Henry Kissinger
Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.
Jonathon Swift
Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.
Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone.
Lewis Black
Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.
Jay Leno
Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.
Jon Stewart
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner
I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.
I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.
Garry Shandling
Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.
David Letterman
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