Poetry
Quotes
All in the Family Quotes
Edith Bunker: And I am the queen.
Archie Bunker: [Concerning Beverly LaSalle] Well this king can only handle one queen at a time.
Gloria: Do you know that sixty percent of all deaths in America are caused by guns?
Archie Bunker: Would it make you feel any better, little girl, if they was pushed out of windows?
[Henry Jefferson is dressed as Santa Claus]
Archie Bunker: Santa Claus is white.
Henry Jefferson: Yeah well when I was a kid, the man filling my stocking was black.
Archie Bunker: Go out and get me a beer.
Edith: Can or bottle?
Archie Bunker: We never buy bottles.
Archie Bunker: Look at this, Edith. We lost a daughter but gained a meathead.
Mike Stivic: I'll drive a truck, pump gas, collect garbage.
Archie: Bingo. Start collecting the garbage off of the table.
Stephanie: A person can't go paralyzed by smelling cabbage.
Archie Bunker: I don't know, the nose is a pretty strong thing. One time I was changing one of Joey's diapers and I nearly passed out.
Archie Bunker: Why don't you go to sleep and dream about the tragedy that is your life.
Archie Bunker: And remember, don't talk to strangers unless you know them very well.
Edith Bunker: Stephie, don't you want to come with us and have fun at Disneyland?
Stephanie Mills: No.
Archie Bunker: You will have fun where I tell you to have fun.
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The Andy Griffith ShowThe Colbert Report
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Everybody Loves Raymond
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