Poetry and Quotations

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All in the Family Quotes

Archie Bunker: Every man should be king of his castle. And in this here castle, I am the king.
Edith Bunker: And I am the queen.
Archie Bunker: [Concerning Beverly LaSalle] Well this king can only handle one queen at a time.

Gloria: Do you know that sixty percent of all deaths in America are caused by guns?
Archie Bunker: Would it make you feel any better, little girl, if they was pushed out of windows?

[Henry Jefferson is dressed as Santa Claus]
Archie Bunker: Santa Claus is white.
Henry Jefferson: Yeah well when I was a kid, the man filling my stocking was black.

Archie Bunker: Go out and get me a beer.
Edith: Can or bottle?
Archie Bunker: We never buy bottles.

Archie Bunker: Look at this, Edith. We lost a daughter but gained a meathead.

Mike Stivic: I'll drive a truck, pump gas, collect garbage.
Archie: Bingo. Start collecting the garbage off of the table.

Stephanie: A person can't go paralyzed by smelling cabbage.
Archie Bunker: I don't know, the nose is a pretty strong thing. One time I was changing one of Joey's diapers and I nearly passed out.

Archie Bunker: Why don't you go to sleep and dream about the tragedy that is your life.

Archie Bunker: And remember, don't talk to strangers unless you know them very well.

Edith Bunker: Stephie, don't you want to come with us and have fun at Disneyland?
Stephanie Mills: No.
Archie Bunker: You will have fun where I tell you to have fun.

More TV Show quotes

The Andy Griffith Show
The Colbert Report
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Everybody Loves Raymond

More TV show quotes