Andy Griffith Show Quotes
Andy Taylor: Yeah, boy.
Barney Fife: Fortunately, none of mine goes to fat. All goes to muscle.
Andy Taylor: Does, huh?
Barney Fife: It's a mark of us Fifes. Everything we eat goes to muscle.
[pats tummy]
Barney Fife: See there?
Barney Fife: Well, today's eight-year-olds are tomorrow's teenagers. I say this calls for action and now. Nip it in the bud. First sign of youngsters going wrong, you've got to nip it in the bud.
Andy Taylor: I'm going to have a talk with them. What else do you want me to do?
Barney Fife: Well, don't just mollycoddle them.
Andy Taylor: I won't.
Barney Fife: Nip it. You go read any book you ant on the subject of child discipline and you'll find every one of them is in favor of bud-nipping.
Barney Fife: If there's anything that upsets me, it's having people say I'm sensitive.
Andy Taylor: What are you doing?
Barney Fife: Gun-drawing practice, ten minutes every day. If I ever have to use this baby, I want to teach it to come to papa in a hurry.
Andy Taylor: When a man carries a gun all the time, the respect he thinks he's getting might really be fear. So I don't carry a gun because I don't want the people of Mayberry to fear a gun. I'd rather they respect me.
Otis Campbell: Every man needs a hobby.
Barney Fife: But, Otis; you ain't got a hobby!
Otis Campbell: I do have a hobby; drinkin'!
Andy Taylor: Opie! Time to come in, son.
Opie Taylor: Aw Pa, just a little while longer... please?
Andy Taylor: Well, OK.
[to Barney]
Andy Taylor: Daylight's precious when your a youngen'.
Andy Taylor: Well, I caught him earlier on a 10-17.
Barney Fife: Hat in a horse trough?
Andy Taylor: Yeah.
Barney Fife: Boy, giraffes are selfish.
Briscoe Darling: [Aunt Bee has hit Briscoe with a spoon] Ow! What'd you do that for?
Aunt Bee Taylor: No elbows on the table.
Briscoe Darling: [to Andy] That ain't fair; her hittin' first and explainin' the rules after.
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