Hilarious Thanksgiving Quotations
Thanksgiving Day is the time when millions of people sit around the dinner table and stuff their guts with turkey and stuffing. Below are a few great funny quotes on what Thanksgiving is about and how it came to be.
An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
The pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts... nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving.
H. W. Westermayer
On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence.
William Jennings Bryan
I love Thanksgiving turkey... it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.
Thanksgiving, man! Not a good day to be my pants.
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored withgourmetstatus.
Coexistence... what the farmer does with the turkey - until Thanksgiving.
My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
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