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Funny Quotations from 16 Candles

16 Candles is a comedy-romance film about a young girl's sixteenth birthday when everything seems to turn embarrassing: her grandparents and the geeky boy with a crush on her. The movie is directed and written by John Hughes. It stars Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, and John Cusack.

You'll find hilarious quotes from this great coming of age film 16 Candles below.

The Geek: Where the hell am I?
Caroline: I'll, uh, tell you where you are if you tell me who you are.
The Geek: I'm Farmer Ted.
Caroline: You're in the parking lot in front of my church.
The Geek: You own a church?
Mike Baker: [about Ginny] She's got her period. Should make for an interesting honeymoon, huh?
Jim Baker: Where are you learning this stuff?
Mike Baker: School.
Jim Baker: Good, get my money's worth.
Brenda Baker: Can you remember to turn off the stove in twenty minutes?
Samantha: I can remember lots of things.
Grandma Helen: Oh Sam, let me take a look at you. Fred, she's gotten her boobies.
Grandpa Fred: I better get my magnifying glass. Ha Ha Ha.
Grandma Helen: Oh, and they are so PERKY.
[reaches to cup them]
Grandma Helen: [cut to:]
Samantha: I can't believe my grandmother actually felt me up.
[Caroline is very drunk]
Caroline: Who's he?
Jake: That's me.
Caroline: Who are you?
Jake: I'm him.
Caroline: Oh, ok.
The Geek: This information cannot leave this room. Ok? It would devastate my reputation as a dude.
Samantha: No problem.
The Geek: I've never bagged a babe. I'm not a stud.
Jake: I'll make a deal with you.
[holds up the panties]
Jake: You let me keep these, I'll let you take Caroline home. But you've got to make sure she gets home. You can't leave her in a parking lot somewhere. Okay?
The Geek: Jake, I'm only a freshman.
Jake: So, she's so blitzed she won't know the difference.
The Geek: Jake, I don't have a car.
Jake: You can take mine.
The Geek: Jake, I don't have license.
Jake: I trust you.
The Geek: Jake, I'd love to... I can't.
[holds out a bowl]
The Geek: Want a pretzel?
Jake: You sure?
[takes the bowl and sets it down on the counter]
The Geek: Positive.
The Geek: You know, I'm getting input here that I'm reading as relatively hostile.
Samantha: Go to hell.
The Geek: VERY hostile.
The Geek: How's it going?
Samantha: How's what going?
The Geek: You know - things, life, whatnot.
Samantha: Life is not whatnot, and it's none of your business.
Jake: Happy birthday, Samantha. Make a wish.
Samantha: Well, it already came true.
Next: A Christmas Carol
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