Galaxy Quest Quotes

Galaxy Quest is a television program that was first aired in 1970 . Galaxy Quest stopped airing in 1970.

It features Mark Johnson; Charles Newirth as producer, David Newman (composer) in charge of musical score, and Jerzy Zieliński as head of cinematography.

Galaxy Quest is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Galaxy Quest is 102 minutes long. Galaxy Quest is distributed by DreamWorks Pictures.

The cast includes: Alan Rickman as Sir Alexander Dane, Sigourney Weaver as Gwen DeMarco, Daryl Mitchell as Tommy Webber, Tim Allen as Jason Nesmith, Patrick Breen as Quellek, Tony Shalhoub as Fred Kwan, Enrico Colantoni as Mathesar, Alan Rickman as Alexander Dane, Jed Rees as Teb, Justin Long as Brandon, and Missi Pyle as Laliari.

Galaxy Quest Quotes

Tony Shalhoub as Fred Kwan

• (Tony Shalhoub) "That was a hell of a thing."

• (Tony Shalhoub) "Sorry, I was; door was a little sticky. Did you see that? I'll get one of my boys up here with a can of WD-40."

• (Guy Fleegman) "HEY. Don't open that. It's an alien planet. Is there air? You don't know."
• (Tony Shalhoub) "Seems okay."

• (Tony Shalhoub) "It's the simple things in life you treasure."

• (Tony Shalhoub) "Hey, Commander. Listen, we found some beryllium on a nearby planet. And we might be able to get there if we reconfigure the solar matrix in parallel for endothermic propulsion. What'd'ya think?"
• (Tim Allen) "We'll do that."
• (Guy Fleegman) "All right."
• (Tony Shalhoub) "That's right again. That's -- come on, group hug."

• (Tony Shalhoub) "Hey guys, I just wanted you to know that, the reactors won't take it; the ship is breaking apart and all that -- Just FYI."

• (Guy Fleegman) "I'm just a glorified extra, Fred. I'm a dead man anyway. If I'm gonna die, I'd rather go out a hero than a coward."
• (Tony Shalhoub) "Guy, Guy, maybe you're the plucky comic relief. You ever think about that?"
• (Guy Fleegman) "Plucky?"

Sigourney Weaver as Gwen DeMarco

• (Sigourney Weaver) "Ducts? Why is it always ducts?"

• (Sigourney Weaver) "Alex, where are you going?"
• (Alan Rickman) "To see if there's a pub."

• (Guy Fleegman) "I don't like this. I don't like this at all."
• (Sigourney Weaver) "They are so cute."
• (Guy Fleegman) "Sure, they're cute now, but in a second they're gonna get mean, and they're gonna get ugly somehow, and there's gonna be a million more of them."

• (Voice of Computer) "Enemy is matching velocity."
• (Sigourney Weaver) "The enemy is matching velocity."
• (Alan Rickman) "We heard it the first time."
• (Sigourney Weaver) "Gosh, I'm doing it. I'm repeating the darn computer."

• (Sigourney Weaver) "I mean it Alex, I'm worried. I've never seen him lose it like that before. Not to a fan."
• (Alan Rickman) "Gwen, I've been saying it for years. He's mentally unstable."

• (Sigourney Weaver) "Wait. We want to go, too."
• (Missi Pyle) "You all wish to go to the ship?"
• (Sigourney Weaver) "Yes, we wish to go to the ship. See we work together or not at all."
• (Missi Pyle) "Wonderful. The captain had me continue transmission in case you changed your minds."
• (Missi Pyle) "Protector, requesting four pods --"
• (Guy Fleegman) "Oh, me too."
• (Missi Pyle) "Five pods for immediate departure."
• (Sigourney Weaver) "Guys -- Guys?"
• (Missi Pyle) "I look forward to meeting you all in person. End transmission."

• (Sigourney Weaver) "You've gotta admit, they really do love him."
• (Daryl Mitchell) "Yeah, almost as much as he loves himself."

• (Sigourney Weaver) "Fred, you had a part people loved. I mean, my TV Guide interview was six paragraphs about my BOOBS and how they fit into my suit. No one bothered to ask me what I do on the show."
• (Tony Shalhoub) "You were -- the umm, wait a minute, I'll think of it --"
• (Sigourney Weaver) "I repeated the computer, Fred."

• (Sigourney Weaver) "No, the Commander and I never had a -- thing."
• (Tim Allen) "Well, that's HER story."

• (Sigourney Weaver) "They're not ALL "historical documents." Surely, you don't think Gilligan's Island is a --"
• (Enrico Colantoni) "Those poor people."

• (Sigourney Weaver) "Whoever wrote this episode should DIE."

• (Voice of Computer) "Negative, there is no replacement Beryllium Sphere on board."
• (Sigourney Weaver) "No, there is no replacement Beryllium Sphere on board."
• (Daryl Mitchell) "You know, that is really getting annoying."
• (Sigourney Weaver) "Look. I have one job on this lousy ship, it's stupid, but I'm gonna do it. Okay?"
• (Daryl Mitchell) "Sure, no problem."

• (Sigourney Weaver) "Does the rolling help ?"
• (Tim Allen) "Yes, it helps."

• (Sigourney Weaver) "I remember that sound. That's a bad sound."

• (Sigourney Weaver) "Let's get out of here before one of those things kills Guy."

Tim Allen as Jason Nesmith

• (Tim Allen) "What? What was that?"
• (Alan Rickman) "Uh, nothing."
• (Tim Allen) "I heard some squealing or something."
• (Sigourney Weaver) "Oh, no. Everything's fine."
• (Jed Rees) "But the animal is inside out."
• (Tim Allen) "I heard that. It turned inside out?"
• (Jed Rees) "And it exploded."
• (Tim Allen) "Did I just hear that the animal turned inside out, and then it EXPLODED? Hello?"
• (Sigourney Weaver) "Hold, please."

• (Tim Allen) "Okay Gwen, put me back on with him."
• (Sigourney Weaver) "That's what I've been trying to tell you, Jason. You ARE back with him."
• (Sarris) "Perhaps I am not as stupid as I am ugly, commander."
• (Tim Allen) "I gave you the 'kill' gesture."
• (Sigourney Weaver) "No, you gave me the 'we're dead' signal. I was agreeing with you. Like I know where the 'hold' button is."

• (Guy Fleegman) "Hey guys, there's a red-thingy moving toward the green-thingy."
• (Tim Allen) "What?"
• (Guy Fleegman) "Red-thingy moving toward the green-thingy. I think we're the green-thingy."

• (Tim Allen) "This is great. Usually it's just cardboard walls in a garage."

• (Tim Allen) "Remember yesterday at the convention, those people dressed like aliens? They were aliens. They were termites or -- or dalmations. I can't really remember cause I was kinda hungover."

• (Tim Allen) "Ok, here's the plan: first, Fred, we need a diversion to clear these things out of the compound, then Gwen, Alex, Fred and I go down to get the sphere. Any of those things come back Tommy, give a signal. Guy, you set up a perimeter."
• (Sigourney Weaver) "Why does this sound so familiar?"
• (Daryl Mitchell) ""Assault on Voltarek III". Episode 81 I think."
• (Guy Fleegman) "We're doing episode 81?"
• (Daryl Mitchell) "Whatever, the one with the hologram. The wall of fire."
• (Sigourney Weaver) "How the hell is Fred supposed to project a hologram?"
• (Guy Fleegman) "We're doing episode 81, Jason?"
• (Tim Allen) "It doesn't have to be a hologram, just a diversion."
• (Guy Fleegman) "Jason, are we doing episode 81 or not?"
• (Tim Allen) "It's a rough plan, Guy, what does it matter if we're doing episode 81 or not?"
• (Guy Fleegman) "BECAUSE I DIED -- IN EPISODE 81."

• (Tim Allen) "You know? OK. Gosh darn it, I give up. It's yours, you can have it. You have to give me a minute to put it in a box for ya. OK?"

• (Tim Allen) "Am I too late for Alexander's panic attack?"
• (Tim Allen) "Apparently not."

• (Tim Allen) "I'm not the commander."
• (Sarris) "What did you say?"
• (Tim Allen) "I said I'm not the commander."
• (Sarris) "Explain."

• (Tim Allen) "All right, let's settle down. If we're going to get through this we're going to need self control."
• (Sigourney Weaver) "Self control? That's funny coming from the guy that slept with every Terrakian slave girl and Moon Princess on the show."

• (Tim Allen) "Mathesar, there's no such person as Captain Taggart. My name is Jason Nesmith. I'm an actor. We're all actors."
• (Sarris) "He doesn't understand. Explain as you would a child."
• (Tim Allen) "We, uh, we pretended."
• (Tim Allen) "We lied."

• (Tim Allen) "Crewman Madison, the mist of this strange planet is filing my head with such thoughts --"
• (Sigourney Weaver) "It was cute when I didn't know you."

• (Tim Allen) "You know, you're starting to act a lot like you did in episode 17."
• (Alan Rickman) "Ooohhh. Right."

• (Tim Allen) "You know, what I could really use here is a cup holder and a couple of Advil."

• (Tim Allen) "You used to pull your punches."
• (Alan Rickman) "It's "Scene-Stealing Hack," thank you."
• (Tim Allen) ""Raving Egomaniac"?"
• (Alan Rickman) "Can't think where I got THAT from."

• (Sarris) "Let me remind you, sonny: I am a general. If you are counting on me to blink, then you are making a deadly mistake."
• (Tim Allen) "Well, let me tell you something, Sarris: It doesn't take a great actor to recognize a bad one. You're sweating."
• (Sarris) "You fool. You failed to realize that, with your armor gone, my ship will tear through yours like tissue paper."
• (Tim Allen) "And what you fail to realize is my ship -- is dragging mines."

• (Tim Allen) "There is no "quantum flux". There's no "auxiliary". THERE'S NO god****ED SHIP. You got it?"

• (Tim Allen) "Okey dokey, Okey dokey. Lets fire blue particle cannons full, red particle cannons full, gannet magnets fire them left and right, and let 'em run all chutes. And while you're at it, why don't ya toss that at 'em killer"
• (Tim Allen) "That should take care of old lobster head shouldn't it?"

• (Brandon Wheeger) "I just wanted to tell you that I thought a lot about what you said."
• (Tim Allen) "It's okay, now listen --"
• (Brandon Wheeger) "But I want you to know that I'm not a complete brain case, okay? I understand completely that it's just a TV show. I know there's no beryllium sphere --"
• (Tim Allen) "Hold it."
• (Brandon Wheeger) "no digital conveyor, no ship --"
• (Tim Allen) "Stop for a second, stop. It's all real."
• (Brandon Wheeger) "Oh my God, I knew it. I knew it. I knew it."

• (Tim Allen) "I'm not a commander. There's no "National Space Exploration Administration." We don't have a ship."
• (Enrico Colantoni) "But there it is --"
• (Tim Allen) "The ship is that big."
• (Enrico Colantoni) "But inside, I see many rooms."
• (Tim Allen) "You've seen plywood sets that look like the inside. Our beryllium sphere is -- is wire with plaster around it. And our digital conveyor is -- it's Christmas tree lights. It's a decoration. It's all fake. Just like me."
• (Enrico Colantoni) "But why?"
• (Tim Allen) "It's difficult to explain. On our planet, we, uh -- we pretend to -- to entertain. Mathesar, I am so sorry. God, I am so sorry."

• (Tim Allen) "I'm going to rest my eyes for a moment. But go on. I am listening --"

• (Tim Allen) "I got to fight this guy named Sarris, and I kicked his ass."

• (Tim Allen) "This is like -- corn fed Iowa beef."

• (Tim Allen) "She's not a fan. This is a -- this is a termite."

• (Tim Allen) "You guys came. Who wants the grand tour?"
• (Tim Allen) "Anybody else?"

• (Tim Allen) "Hello, Sarris. How you doing?"
• (Sarris) "Better than my lieutenant."

Patrick Breen as Quellek

• (Patrick Breen) "You're alive. Thank Ipthar."

• (Patrick Breen) "I avoided capture by using your Mak'tar stealth haze."

• (Patrick Breen) "By Grabthar's hammer, Dr. Lazarus --"
• (Alan Rickman) "Don't do that. I'm not kidding."

Daryl Mitchell as Tommy Webber

• (Daryl Mitchell) "You were holding it upside down"
• (Alan Rickman) "Shut up."

• (Daryl Mitchell) "You know, with all that makeup and stuff, I actually thought you were SMART for a second."

Alan Rickman as Sir Alexander Dane

• (Alan Rickman) "By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Worvan, you shall be avenged."

• (Alan Rickman) "I see you've managed to get your shirt off."

• (Alan Rickman) "What?"
• (Guy Fleegman) "I'm just jazzed about being on the show, man."

• (Guy Fleegman) "I changed my mind. I wanna go back."
• (Alan Rickman) "After the fuss you made about getting left behind?"
• (Guy Fleegman) "Yeah, but that's when I thought I was the crewman that stays on the ship, and something is up there, and it kills me. But now I'm thinking I'm the guy who gets killed by some monster five minutes after we land on the planet."
• (Tim Allen) "You're not gonna die on the planet, Guy."
• (Guy Fleegman) "I'm not? Then what's my last name?"
• (Tim Allen) "It's, uh, uh; -I don't know."
• (Guy Fleegman) "Nobody knows. Do you know why? Because my character isn't important enough for a last name, because I'm gonna die five minutes in."
• (Sigourney Weaver) "Guy, you have a last name."
• (Guy Fleegman) "DO I? DO I? For all you know, I'm "Crewman Number Six". Mommy -- mommy --"
• (Alan Rickman) "Are we there yet?"

• (Alan Rickman) "I played Richard III."
• (Tony Shalhoub) "Five curtain calls --"
• (Alan Rickman) "There were five curtain calls. I was an actor once, damn it. Now look at me. Look at me. I won't go out there and say that stupid line one more time."

• (Alan Rickman) "Could they be the miners?"
• (Tony Shalhoub) "Sure, they're like three years old."
• (Alan Rickman) "MINERS, not MINORS."
• (Tony Shalhoub) "You lost me."

• (Alan Rickman) "You broke the ship. You broke the bloody ship."

• (Alan Rickman) "You're just going to have to figure out what it wants. What is its motivation?"
• (Tim Allen) "It's a rock monster. It doesn't have motivation."
• (Alan Rickman) "See, that's your problem, Jason. You were never serious about the craft."

• (Alan Rickman) "Could you possibly try NOT to hit EVERY SINGLE ONE?"

• (Alan Rickman) "Quellek?"
• (Alan Rickman) "That's not too bad. We'll get you to the medical quarters, and you'll be fine."
• (Patrick Breen) "It has been my greatest pleasure to serve with you. I have been blessed, Sir. I -- I -- I --"
• (Alan Rickman) "Don't speak, Quellek."
• (Patrick Breen) "You'll forgive my impertinence, Sir, but even though we have never before met, I have always considered you as a father to me."
• (Alan Rickman) "Quellek -- by Grabthar's hammer -- by the Suns of Worvan -- you shall be -- avenged."

• (Alan Rickman) "Need I remind you that this man is wearing a costume, not a uniform. He's no more qualified to lead us than"
• (Alan Rickman) "-- this fellow -- No offense --"

• (Alan Rickman) "By Grabthar's hammer -- what a savings."

• (Alan Rickman) "It's like throwing gasoline on a flame."

• (Alan Rickman) "Where's the happy ending, Jason? "Never give up, never surrender?""
• (Tim Allen) "Maybe it's about time you just backed off, you fin-headed monstrosity."
• (Alan Rickman) "You what?"
• (Tim Allen) "You're starting to act just like to did in Episode 17, you scene-stealing hack."
• (Alan Rickman) "Oh. Right. Well, how does it feel, Jason? Was it worth it? You've murdered us all."
• (Tim Allen) "Shut up."
• (Alan Rickman) "Hundreds to die, just because of you."
• (Tim Allen) "I told you to shut up."
• (Alan Rickman) "Hundreds to die, just because you want to play at being commander, you raving lunatic."
• (Tim Allen) "Then I'll see you in Hell, won't I?"

• (Alan Rickman) "You're just going to have to kill it."
• (Tim Allen) "Kill it? Well, I'm open to any suggestions."
• (Daryl Mitchell) "Go for the eyes, like in episode 22."
• (Tim Allen) "He doesn't have any eyes, Tommy."
• (Daryl Mitchell) "Go for the mouth, then, the throat, his vulnerable spots."
• (Tim Allen) "It's a rock. It doesn't have any vulnerable spots."
• (Guy Fleegman) "I know. You construct a weapon. Look around, can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?"

• (Alan Rickman) "Oh, of course. IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU, ISN'T IT?"

Enrico Colantoni as Mathesar

• (Enrico Colantoni) "We were hoping you could come with us. Our people have no commander."
• (Commander Peter Quincy Taggart) "Mathesar, I think your people have a great commander, sir."

• (Enrico Colantoni) "Commander, standing here in your presence is the greatest honor we could ever have hoped to achieve in our lifetimes."
• (Tim Allen) "Thanks, I really appreciate it -- Could you guys look for another shoe?"

Jed Rees as Teb

• (Jed Rees) "Are you enjoying your Kep-mok blood ticks, Dr. Lazarus?"
• (Alan Rickman) "Just like mother used to make."

• (Jed Rees) "We're saved. He saved us. Commander Taggart has saved us."
• (Unnamed) "Hurrah. Commander Taggart."
• (Alan Rickman) "It's just not fair."

Justin Long as Brandon

• (Brandon's Mom) "Where are you going with all those fireworks?"
• (Justin Long) "Well, the Protector got super-accelerated coming out of the black hole, and it, like, nailed the atmosphere at Mach 15, which, you guys know, is pretty unstable, obviously, so we're gonna help Laredo guide it on the the vox ultra-frequency carrier and use Roman candles for visual confirmation."
• (Brandon's Mom) "Uh, all right, dinner's at seven."
• (Brandon's Mom) "Well, he's outside."

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