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Quotations from The Carol Burnett Show

"The Carol Burnett Show" is a television sketch comedy and variety series that ran from September 11, 1967 until March 29, 1978 for a total of 278 episodes. The series won a total of 25 Emmy Awards and is ranked among TV Guide's 50 Greatest TV Shows of All Time. "The Carol Burnett Show"'s famous sketches include "As the Stomach Turns", "Went with the Wind" "The Family" and "Stella Toddler".

Below you'll find some funny quotations from the show.

Hallaba: You're going to be bitten by a verevolf.
Mrs. Cunningham: A verevolf?
Hallaba: Yes. Bevare the volfman will bite you tonight. Oy, are you gonna get it.
Mrs. Cunningham: Oh, no! Is a verevolf bite painful?
Hallaba: It's about the same as the bite from a wampire.

Reginald: [To Gwendolyn] Now listen to me, you little fool. As far as everyone is concerned, father's death was purely...
Ms. Marble: [Ms. Marble in the background] Murder!
Reginald: [Nervous] Murder? Murder, you say?
Ms. Marble: [Comes into the living room] Murder, murder, murder. Bloody, bloody murder.
Gwendolyn: You mean to say our father was murdered?
Ms. Marble: No, I mean to say my girdle is killing me.
Reginald: Ms. Marble, I really must insist you stop snooping around. I simply will not tolerate a busybody.
Ms. Marble: Busybody? Busybody, you say? My body hasn't been busy in over 40 years.

Carol Bradford: When we were first married you wanted my meatloaf five nights a week.
Roger Bradford: When we were first married there were a lot of things I wanted five nights a week.

Ed: [playing the game sorry and Eunice is losing] Slliiiiiide!
Eunice: Oh, will you shut up!

Gwendolyn: For you had the perfect motive for doing away with father. I know about your gambling debts!
Reginald: Just as I know about that nasty little habit you picked up in the Orient. Eh, sister dear.
Gwendolyn: [Gasps] No, please don't! You have no idea what hell its been. Kumkwaits have become so expensive. How could I have been so stupid, stupid, stupid?!
Caruthers: [The butler, Caruthers, walks in] You called, ma'am?
Reginald: No, she didn't call Caruthers. She was discussing her kumkwaits.
Reginald: Oh. Well, I'm a leg man myself.

Hallaba: [Is going to tell Mrs. Cunningham's fortune] Your hands please. Your left hand shows your past. Your right hand shows your future.
[Mrs. Cunningham gives her her right hand, but Hallaba slaps it away]
Hallaba: Give me your left hand. I want to look at your past. Ohhhh!
[She covers her mouth, smiling]
Mrs. Cunningham: What is it? What do you see?
Hallaba: Last night. Moshimomoshivo!
Mrs. Cunningham: [Looks embarrassed] What about the future?
Hallaba: [Looks at her left hand] Ohhhh! You're a dead duck!

Housekeeper: [After the Cunningham's have entered a scary castle] Go away. For three hundred years, no strange person has been inside this castle.
Mrs. Cunningham: You wanna bet?

More TV show quotes
Next: Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In

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