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Quotations from Gunsmoke

"Gunsmoke" is a television western drama series based in and around Dodge City, Kansas during the settlement of the American West. "Gunsmoke" is the longest running western in television history, originally running from 1955 to 1975 totalling 635 episodes. It was the most watched show from 1957 to 1961. Each episode follows the life of Marshal Matt Dillon as he attempts to keep peace in and around the city.

[Doc Adams has been stabbed by a farmer]
Marshal Matt Dillon: If Doc doesn't come out of this all right, I'll quit being a marshal. I'll come after you as a plain man... looking for revenge.
Kitty Russell: You going to Hays for the trial?
Marshal Matt Dillon: I'll have to.
Kitty Russell: That'll take about a week, I suppose.
Marshal Matt Dillon: About. Why?
Kitty Russell: Nothing. Only you've just been away for ten days.
Marshal Matt Dillon: I have to earn a living, Kitty.
Kitty Russell: You could make more money gambling... right here in Dodge.
Susan: [Dudley is packing his things to leave] Dudley, where are you going?
Dudley: Away.
Susan: Yesterday, you said you had some money? And that you'd take me to the city? I'll go with you now.
Dudley: That was yesterday, Miss Susan. Today, I wouldn't have you on a whiskey bet.
Dan Grat: Ah'm bad. You want me, Marshal, you got to come git me.
Jed Gunter: We're takin' this... this Kitty!
Marshal Matt Dillon: Don't do that, Gunter.
Jed Gunter: 'Course I'll do it. I'll tell you something - first sign we're being chased, whoever it is'll find her laying in the trail fresh killed!
Marshal Matt Dillon: Don't take her!
Jed Gunter: Well, it's up to you what happens, Marshal. And if you don't think I'll do it, I'll tell you something else. The first person I ever killed was a woman!
Miss Kitty: [Sitting together in the Long Branch] What is it, anyhow?
Doc: Oh, well, it's nitrous oxide. It's a... it's an anesthetic is what it is. It's also an intoxicant, and pretty dangerous if you get too much of it.
Miss Kitty: Well in other words, you don't recommend that we start using it here instead of whiskey, huh?
Marshal Matt Dillon: Listen, the whiskey you serve here is dangerous enough.
Miss Kitty: Oh? Except when it's on the house!
Miss Kitty: Can't you stuff that into a shotgun and give it to him that way?
Marshal Matt Dillon: Good thing you're not a man, Kitty.
Miss Kitty: I suppose if I were I'd be just as bad as the rest of you!
Trudy Trent: It's a palace of joy, this place, ain't it Marshal? You know how we spent last Christmas? He got drunk and set fire to me! Honest, if I hadn't run out in that snow, I would've burned up. And then he wouldn't let me back in and I near froze to death!
Asa Trent: [Lecherously touches Trudy's neck] Taught you to be a good little girl!
Trudy Trent: Oh yeah, Pa, it was the best Christmas I ever spent! I won't never forget it!
Chester: Well, at least Raffie's gonna have plenty to eat and someplace to sleep now. You know, he must've had a pretty terrible time in the war.
Doc: Yeah, I guess it addled him some, too.
Chester Goode: What's the matter with you this morning?
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: I got a pain, Doc, right in there...
[Chester pokes himself in the ribs]
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: Oh, well, why didn't you come upstairs?
Chester Goode: Oh no. Oh no, I couldn't do that.
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: No, you'd rather stand out here in pain all day, wouldn't you. You'd rather hang around hoping to catch me on the fly than come up and make a regular visit.
Chester Goode: Doc, it ain't that. I just couldn't climb them stairs, the shape I'm in.
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: And the pain... it's so bad you couldn't bear to put your hand in your pocket for the two dollars you'll owe me, could you?
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