Who's Minding the Store? Quotes

Who's Minding the Store? is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Who's Minding the Store? ended in 1970.

It features Paul Jones as producer, Joseph J. Lilley in charge of musical score, and W. Wallace Kelley as head of cinematography.

Who's Minding the Store? is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Who's Minding the Store? is 90 minutes long. Who's Minding the Store? is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Jerry Lewis as Norman Phiffier, Ray Walston as Mr. Quimby, Jill St. John as Barbara Tuttle, Agnes Moorehead as Mrs. Phoebe Tuttle, John McGiver as Mr. John P. Tuttle, and Francesca Bellini as Shirley Lott.

Who's Minding the Store? Quotes

Jerry Lewis as Norman Phiffier

• (Jerry Lewis) "I see you on the television all the time. You look the same in person."

• (Jerry Lewis) "What are you, crazy, lady?"

• (Lady wrestler) "Are you making improper advances to me?"
• (Jerry Lewis) "My back is to ya, lady. My back is to ya."

• (Jerry Lewis) "Here's your driver, Mr. President."
• (John McGiver) "Thank you, Jackie."
• (Jerry Lewis) "You -- oh, that was good."

• (Hazel, a Dowager) "My carpets are three inches thick, and --"
• (Jerry Lewis) "Three inches thick. Huh. You better not ever invite Mickey Rooney over. You'll never be able to find him."

• (Jerry Lewis) "If I could just grab one of these, maybe the others'll follow."

• (Jerry Lewis) "Something you women would like? Ah, that is, um, could I show you something in shoes?"
• (Lady wrestler) "My feet, I hope."
• (Jerry Lewis) "Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, that is good. Yes, the size and style?"
• (Lady wrestler) "Black Spring-O-Lators, size three."
• (Jerry Lewis) "The --"
• (Jerry Lewis) "size -- three?"
• (Lady wrestler) "Three."
• (Jerry Lewis) "SIZE three?"
• (Lady wrestler) "Something the matter with your hearing aid?"
• (Jerry Lewis) "Well, no, I could turn it up."

• (Jerry Lewis) "I believe a man has gotta be king in his own ranch-type-style tract house."

• (Jerry Lewis) "Well, your secretary isn't here so I thought I'd barge right in?"

Ray Walston as Mr. Quimby

• (Ray Walston) "So, you agree to start your great climb to success, your climb to the very top?"
• (Jerry Lewis) "I'm ready to climb."
• (Ray Walston) "By starting at the very bottom?"
• (Jerry Lewis) "Right down below the depths of the bottom, deep, lowest place where I am, I'll start."

• (Ray Walston) "That baboon of a boy has just about wrecked the good name of Tuttle."
• (Agnes Moorehead) "I thought you said he had character."
• (Ray Walston) "But there's no place in business for a man of character. His sincerity could ruin the world."
• (Agnes Moorehead) "Naturally, that's why we, the insincere, must be in charge."

• (Ray Walston) "Quimby here."
• (Agnes Moorehead) "You're out of breath, Quimby."
• (Ray Walston) "Yes, I, ah"
• (Ray Walston) "working late, long day."
• (Agnes Moorehead) "Don't put me on, Quimby. You've had at least three scotches and you're winded from chasing your pretty secretary. But don't worry, Quimby, I'll ok her next raise."
• (Ray Walston) "I've always considered you, not only my boss, but a dandy friend, Mrs. Tuttle."

• (Ray Walston) "By some chance, Mr. Phiffier, could you be stealing a TV set?"
• (Jerry Lewis) "Me, stealing, Mr. Quimby? Oh, I'd never steal anything."
• (Ray Walston) "If I recollect correctly, Mr. Phiffier, you're supposed to be working in the mattress department today."
• (Jerry Lewis) "Oh, yeah, I AM working in the mattress department today."
• (Ray Walston) "Then what are you doing here?"
• (Jerry Lewis) "Oh, well, I was just really trying to, uh, satisfy a charge customer, you see, sir. Uh, buh, a lady that wanted to see, on a mattress there, just, uh, just how good the TV set was, so I borrowed two ladders, and I put a surfboard on top of two ladders that I borrowed from the Hawaiian hooky hula department. I just wanted to satisfy a charge customer so I could be the greatest salesman just like you; you, who are my idol, Mr. Quimby. If I ever turn out to be as good as you, I shall really live and breathe the air of kings. Oh, if I could ever be like you, oh boy, there'd never be Death of a Salesman with me. I'd live on, if I ever -- Mmm."

• (Ray Walston) "And you, too, will do good work, but first you must get the FEEL of this great store."
• (Jerry Lewis) "Oh, I'll have no trouble with that. I have very sensitive fingertips."

• (Ray Walston) "Forgive me for saying this, but this boy has character, and I know what character is. I remember when I had it."

Jill St. John as Barbara Tuttle

• (Jill St. John) "I finally found someone who loves me for me, not that I'm the Tuttle heiress, but me, the elevator girl."

• (Jill St. John) "You can give me a wedding present if you'll please, please just disinherit me."

John McGiver as Mr. John P. Tuttle

• (John McGiver) "Hey you. I'm leaving your house."

• (John McGiver) "Boy, I've got a house so big I get lost going to the bathroom."

Agnes Moorehead as Mrs. Phoebe Tuttle

• (Agnes Moorehead) "I want you to give this nut every impossible, dirty job there is."

• (Roberts) "Mr. Phiffier has worked as a delivery boy at Macy's, theater usher at the New York Paramount, caddy at the Lodgemont Country Club, a TV repairman in the Bronx, and Mr. Phiffier also attempted to become a mailman but failed the test."
• (Agnes Moorehead) "How can anyone fail becoming a mailman?"
• (Roberts) "Sloping shoulders. The bag kept slipping off."

• (Agnes Moorehead) "Barbara is NOT doing fine. Barbara is in love with an imbecile."

Francesca Bellini as Shirley Lott

• (Francesca Bellini) "Your wife is on the phone."
• (Ray Walston) "Hang up."
• (Francesca Bellini) "Yes, sir."

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