Who Framed Roger Rabbit Quotes

Who Framed Roger Rabbit is a TV program that was first aired in 1970 . Who Framed Roger Rabbit ended in 1970.

It features Frank Marshall, and Robert Watts as producer, Alan Silvestri in charge of musical score, and Dean Cundey as head of cinematography.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Who Framed Roger Rabbit is 104 minutes long. Who Framed Roger Rabbit is distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

The cast includes: Kathleen Turner as Jessica Rabbit, Bob Hoskins as Eddie Valiant, Charles Fleischer as Roger Rabbit, Christopher Lloyd as Judge Doom, Joanna Cassidy as Dolores, Lou Hirsch as Baby Herman, Alan Tilvern as R.K. Maroon, and Stubby Kaye as Marvin Acme.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit Quotes

Bob Hoskins as Eddie Valiant

• (Benny the Cab) "Pull the lever."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Which one?"
• (Charles Fleischer) "Which one?"
• (Benny the Cab) ""Which one?""

• (Bob Hoskins) "I'm glad Teddy isn't here to see me running with my tail between my legs."
• (Charles Fleischer) "It's not so bad, once you get used to it."

• (Angelo) "Hey, I seen a rabbit."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Ya see?"
• (Christopher Lloyd) "Where?"
• (Angelo) "He's right here in the bar."
• (Angelo) "Say hello -- Harvey."
• (Charles Fleischer) "I told you so."

• (Bob Hoskins) "This singing ain't my line / It's hard to make a rhyme / If I get stuck, I'm -- I'm out of luck, and -- and --"
• (Kathleen Turner) "I'm running out of time."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Thanks."

• (Bob Hoskins) "So, how long have you known it was Doom?"
• (Kathleen Turner) "Before poor Marvin was killed, he confided in me that Judge Doom wanted to get his hands on Toontown, and he wouldn't stop at anything."
• (Bob Hoskins) "So he gave you the will for safe keeping."
• (Kathleen Turner) "That's what he told me, except when I opened the envelope, there was only a blank piece of paper inside."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Ha. A joker to the end."

• (Bob Hoskins) "Can I borrow your camera? Mine's at the shop."
• (Joanna Cassidy) "Wouldn't be the pawn shop, by any chance?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "C'mon, Dolores. You want the other fifty, I need the camera."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Any film in there?"
• (Joanna Cassidy) "Should be. Haven't had that film developed since our trip to Catalina. Sure was a long time ago."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Yeah. that was along time ago. We should do that again some time."
• (Joanna Cassidy) "Yeah, sure, Eddie."

• (Bob Hoskins) "Everything's funny to you, ain't it, needlenose?"
• (Smart Ass) "You got a problem with that, Valiant?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "No, I just want you to know something about the guy you're gonna dip."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Now Roger is his name / Laughter is his game / C'mon you dope, untie his rope / And watch him go insane."
• (Kathleen Turner) "He's lost his mind."
• (Charles Fleischer) "I don't think so."

• (Bob Hoskins) "What's that?"
• (Lt. Santino) "Remember how they always thought there wasn't a way to kill a toon? Well, Doom found a way. Turpentine, acetone, benzene. He calls it "The Dip.""
• (Christopher Lloyd) "I'll catch the rabbit, Mr. Valiant. And I'll try him, convict him, and execute him."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Geez."
• (Greasy) "That's one dead shoe, eh, boss?"
• (Christopher Lloyd) "They're not kid gloves, Mr. Valiant. This is how we handle things down in Toontown. I would think you of all people would appreciate that."

• (Bob Hoskins) "Holy smoke, he's a Toon."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "Surprised?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "Not really. That lame-brained freeway idea could only be cooked up by a Toon."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "Not just ANY Toon --"
• (Christopher Lloyd) "Remember me, Eddie? When I killed your brother, I talked -- just -- like -- THIS."

• (Betty Boop) "Cigars? Cigarettes? -- Eddie Valiant."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Betty."
• (Betty Boop) "Long time, no see."
• (Bob Hoskins) "What are you doing here?"
• (Betty Boop) "Work's been kinda slow since cartoons went to color. But I still got it, Eddie. "Boop-boop-be-doop- boop.""
• (Bob Hoskins) "Yeah. You still got it."

• (Lt. Santino) "Judge Doom killed Marvin Acme."
• (Bob Hoskins) "And R.K. Maroon. And my brother."
• (Lt. Santino) "Now that's what I call one seriously disturbed toon."

• (Bugs Bunny) "Eh, what's up, Doc? Jumpin' without a parachute? Kinda dangerous, ain't it?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "Yeah."
• (Mickey Mouse) "Yeah. You could get killed. Heh, heh."
• (Bob Hoskins) "You guys got a spare?"
• (Mickey Mouse) "Uh, Bugs does."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Yeah?"
• (Bugs Bunny) "Yeah, but I don't think you want it."
• (Bob Hoskins) "I do, I do, give it to me."
• (Mickey Mouse) "Gee, uh, better let him have it, Bugs."
• (Bugs Bunny) "Okay, Doc. Whatever you say, here's the spare."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Thank you."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Thank you."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Aw, no. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH."
• (Mickey Mouse) "Aw, poor fella. Ha ha."
• (Bugs Bunny) "Yeah, ain't I a stinker?"
• (Lena Hyena) "My man."
• (Lena Hyena) "Come to Lena."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Toons. Gets 'em every time."

• (Bob Hoskins) "Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You mean to tell me that in a fit of jealousy you wrote your wife a love letter?"
• (Charles Fleischer) "That's right. I knew that she was just an innocent victim of circumstance."
• (Bob Hoskins) "I suppose you used the old lipstick on the mirror routine."
• (Charles Fleischer) "Lipstick, yes. Mirror, no. I found a nice, clean piece of paper."
• (Charles Fleischer) ""Dear Jessica: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. One one-thousand. Two one-thousand. Three one-thousand. Four one-thousand. Five?"

• (Bob Hoskins) "Nobody's gonna drive this lousy freeway when they can take the Red Car for a nickel."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "Oh, they'll drive. They'll have to. You see, I bought the Red Car so I could dismantle it."

• (Bob Hoskins) "Weren't you the one I caught playing pattycake with old man Acme?"
• (Kathleen Turner) "You didn't catch me, Mr. Valiant. You were set up to take those pictures."
• (Bob Hoskins) "What are you talking about?"
• (Kathleen Turner) "Maroon wanted to blackmail Acme. I didn't want to have anything to do with it, but he said that if I didn't pose for those pattycake pictures, Roger would never work in this town again. I couldn't let that happen. I'd do anything for my husband, Mr. Valiant. Anything."
• (Bob Hoskins) "What a wife."

• (Smart Ass) "Look, Valiant, we got a reliable tip-off. The rabbit was here. It was corrugated by several others. So cut the "bull-shtick"."
• (Bob Hoskins) "You keep talkin' like that, and I'm gonna have to wash your mouth out."

• (Tweety) "Oh, wook, piddies."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Hi, Tweety."
• (Tweety) "This wittle piddy went to market."
• (Tweety) "This wittle piddy stayed home."
• (Bob Hoskins) "No."
• (Tweety) "This wittle piddy had woast beef --"
• (Tweety) "And this wittle piddy; had --"
• (Tweety) "Uh-oh, wan outta piddies."

• (Bob Hoskins) "The job will cost you a hundred bucks, plus expenses."
• (Alan Tilvern) "A hundred bucks? That's ridiculous."
• (Bob Hoskins) "So's the job."

• (Bob Hoskins) "Forget it. I don't work Toontown."
• (Alan Tilvern) "What's wrong with Toontown? Every Joe loves Toontown."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Then get Joe to do the job, 'cause I ain't going."

• (Bob Hoskins) "Say, Roger. That letter you wrote to your wife at the Ink and Paint Club? Why don't you read it to her now?"
• (Charles Fleischer) "Sure thing, Eddie. "Dear Jessica: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I, Marvin Acme, of sound mind and body? It's the will."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Keep reading."
• (Charles Fleischer) "" -- do hereby bequeath, in perpetuity, the property known as Toontown, to those lovable characters, the toons"."

• (Smart Ass) "Okay, wise-guy. Where's the rabbit?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "Haven't seen 'im."
• (Smart Ass) "What's in there?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "My lingerie."
• (Smart Ass) "I see, Valiant."

• (Bob Hoskins) "Hey, Judge. Doesn't a dying rabbit deserve a last request?"
• (Charles Fleischer) "Yeah, nose plugs would be nice."
• (Bob Hoskins) "I think you want a drink. So, how about it, Judge?"
• (Christopher Lloyd) "Well, why not? I don't mind prolonging the execution."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Happy trails."
• (Charles Fleischer) "No thanks, Eddie. I'm trying to cut down."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Drink the drink."
• (Charles Fleischer) "But I don't want the drink."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "He doesn't want the drink."
• (Bob Hoskins) "He does."
• (Charles Fleischer) "I don't."
• (Bob Hoskins) "You do."
• (Charles Fleischer) "I don't."
• (Bob Hoskins) "You do."
• (Charles Fleischer) "I don't."
• (Bob Hoskins) "You do."
• (Charles Fleischer) "I don't."
• (Bob Hoskins) "You don't."
• (Charles Fleischer) "I do."
• (Bob Hoskins) "You don't."
• (Charles Fleischer) "I do."
• (Bob Hoskins) "You don't."
• (Charles Fleischer) "Listen, when I say I do, that means I do."

• (Bob Hoskins) "So that's why you killed Acme and Maroon? For this freeway? I don't get it."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "Of course not. You lack vision, but I see a place where people get on and off the freeway. On and off, off and on all day, all night. Soon, where Toon Town once stood will be a string of gas stations, inexpensive motels, restaurants that serve rapidly prepared food. Tire salons, automobile dealerships and wonderful, wonderful billboards reaching as far as the eye can see. My God, it'll be beautiful."

• (Bob Hoskins) "Where's the other fifty?"
• (Alan Tilvern) "Let's call the other fifty a carrot to finish the job."
• (Bob Hoskins) "You've been hanging around rabbits too long."

• (Lt. Santino) "Gee whiz, Eddie, if you really needed money so bad, then why didn't you come to me?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "So I took a couple of dirty pictures, kill me."
• (Lt. Santino) "I've already got a stiff on my hands, thank you."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Huh?"
• (Lt. Santino) "Marvin Acme. The rabbit cacked him last night."

• (Bob Hoskins) "You think that's funny?"
• (Stubby Kaye) "It's a panic."
• (Bob Hoskins) "You won't think it's funny when I stick that pen up your nose."
• (Stubby Kaye) "Now, calm down, son, will ya? Look, the stain is gone. It's disappearing ink."
• (Stubby Kaye) "No hard feelings, I hope. Listen, I'm --"
• (Bob Hoskins) "I know who you are. Marvin Acme, The guy that owns Toontown, the Gag King."
• (Stubby Kaye) "If it's Acme, it's a gasser. Put 'er there, pal."
• (Stubby Kaye) "The hand buzzer. Still our biggest seller."

• (Bob Hoskins) "Dolores, you need to find yourself a good man."
• (Joanna Cassidy) "But I already have a good man."
• (Charles Fleischer) "P-p-please, don't mind me."

• (Bob Hoskins) "So why come to me? I'm the one who took the pictures of your wife."
• (Charles Fleischer) "Yeah, and you're also the one who helped all these toons. Everyone knows that when a toon's in trouble, there's only one place to go: Valiant & Valiant."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Not anymore."

• (Bongo) "What do you think you're doing, chump?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "Who are you callin' a chump, chimp?"
• (Bongo) "GRRRR."
• (Bob Hoskins) "AAAHH-OOF."
• (Bongo) "Don't let me catch your peepin' face around here again. Got it? GRR."
• (Bob Hoskins) "OOGA-BOOGA."

• (Bob Hoskins) "I'm through with taking falls / And bouncing off the walls / Without that gun, I'd have some fun / I'd kick you in the --"
• (Charles Fleischer) "Nose."
• (Smart Ass) "Nose? That don't rhyme with "walls.""
• (Bob Hoskins) "No, but this does."

• (Bob Hoskins) "What's with him?"
• (Betty Boop) "Mr. Acme never misses a night when Jessica performs."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Got a thing for rabbits, huh?"

• (Bob Hoskins) "I'm on the verge of wrapping up this case."

• (Bob Hoskins) "What's up, Doc?"
• (Alan Tilvern) "Valiant, are you trying to give me a heart attack?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "You need a heart, before you can have an attack."
• (Alan Tilvern) "Yeah, yeah. You got the will?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "Sure. I got the will. Question is, do you have the way? I can tell you now it ain't gonna come cheap."

• (Bob Hoskins) "Seriously, what do you see in that guy?"
• (Kathleen Turner) "He makes me laugh."

• (Bob Hoskins) "Anybody know you're here?"
• (Charles Fleischer) "Nobody. Not a soul, except, uh --"
• (Bob Hoskins) "Who?"
• (Charles Fleischer) "Well, you see, I didn't know where your office was. So I asked the newsboy. He didn't know. So I asked the fireman, the green grocerer, the butcher, the baker, they didn't know. But the liquor store guy -- he knew."
• (Bob Hoskins) "In other words, the whole town knows you're here. Get out."

• (Bob Hoskins) "A ladies' man, eh?"
• (Lou Hirsch) "The problem is I got a fifty year old lust and a three year old dinky. Look, Valiant, the rabbit didn't kill Acme. He's not a murderer, I should know, he's a dear friend of mine. I tell ya Valiant, the whole thing stinks like yesterday's diapers. Look at this. The papers said Acme left no will."
• (Lou Hirsch) "That's a load of succotash. Any toon knows Acme had a will. He promised to leave Toontown to us toons. That will is the real reason he got bumped off."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Has anyone ever seen this will?"
• (Lou Hirsch) "Ah, no. But he gave us his solemn oath."
• (Bob Hoskins) "If you think that guy could do anything solemn, the gag's on you, pal."
• (Lou Hirsch) "I just thought that since you were the one who got my pal in trouble, you might wanna help get him out. I can pay ya."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Save your money for a pair of elevator shoes."
• (Lou Hirsch) "Hey hey hay, Valiant, wait."
• (Lou Hirsch) "My stogie."
• (Lou Hirsch) "WAAAAAAAA-HAHAHAHAAAAAA. WAAAAAAAAAAAAH. WAAAAAA --"

• (Bob Hoskins) "I don't know who's toonier, you or Doom."

• (Bob Hoskins) "She's married to Roger Rabbit?"
• (Betty Boop) "Yeah. What a lucky girl."

• (Bob Hoskins) "GET OUT OF THAT CHAIR --. That's my brother's chair."
• (Charles Fleischer) "Yeah, where is your brother anyway? He looks like a sensitive and -- SOBER fellow."
• (Bob Hoskins) "That's it. I'm calling the cops."
• (Charles Fleischer) "Go ahead. Call the cops. I come here for help and what do you do? Yo turn me in. No, don't feel guilty about me. So long, and thanks for nothing."
• (Bob Hoskins) "That's the closet. Stupe."

• (Bob Hoskins) "You mean you could've taken your hand out of that cuff at any time?"
• (Charles Fleischer) "No, not at any time, only when it was funny."

• (Kid #3) "Hey, mister. Ain't you got a car?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "Who needs a car in L.A.? We have the best public transportation system in the world."

• (Bob Hoskins) "Scotch on the rocks -- and I MEAN ICE."

Joanna Cassidy as Dolores

• (Joanna Cassidy) "Tomorrow's Friday, Eddie. You know what happens here on Friday?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "Fish special?"
• (Joanna Cassidy) "Well, my boss checks the books on Friday. And if I don't have that money I gave you back in the till, I'm gonna lose my job."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Don't bust a button, Dolores."
• (Bob Hoskins) "You've only got one left."

• (Joanna Cassidy) "I thought you said you'd never take another toon case. What did you have a change of heart?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "Nothing's changed. Somebody's made a patsy outta me and I'm gonna find out why."

• (Joanna Cassidy) "I would have been here right after you called, but I had to shake the weasels."

• (Angelo) "So who's your client, Mr. Detective-to-the-Stars? Chilly Willy? Or Screwy Squirrel?"
• (Joanna Cassidy) "What'll it be?"
• (Angelo) "I'll have a beer, doll. So what happened, huh? Somebody kidnapped Dinky Doodle?"
• (Joanna Cassidy) "Cut it out, Angelo."
• (Angelo) "No, wait a minute, wait a minute, I've got it. You're working for Little Bo Peep. She's lost her sheep, and you're gonna help her find them, huh?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "Get this straight, meatball. I -- don't -- work -- for toons."
• (Angelo) "So, what's his problem?"
• (Joanna Cassidy) "A toon killed his brother"
• (Angelo) "What?"
• (Joanna Cassidy) "Dropped a piano on his head."

• (Joanna Cassidy) "Dabbling in watercolors, Eddie?"

Lou Hirsch as Baby Herman

• (Lou Hirsch) "For crying out loud, Roger, I don't know how many times we have to do this damn scene. Raoul, I'll be in my trailer, taking a nap."
• (Lou Hirsch) "'Scuse me, toots."

• (Lou Hirsch) "Whatta you know, you dumb broad? You got the IQ of a rattle."

Charles Fleischer as Roger Rabbit

• (Charles Fleischer) "P-p-please, Eddie. You know there's no justice for toons anymore. If the weasels get their hands on me, I'm as good as dipped."

• (Charles Fleischer) "Woo-hoo-hoo. Nice shirt. Who's your tailor? Quasimodo? Woo-hoo."

• (Charles Fleischer) "Benny, is that you?"
• (Benny the Cab) "No, it's Eleanor Roosevelt. Get me outta here, Roger."

• (Charles Fleischer) "Okay, nobody move. All right, you weasels, grab some sky or I let the judge have it. You heard me, I said drop it."
• (Kathleen Turner) "Roger, darling."
• (Charles Fleischer) "That's right, my dear. I'd love to embrace you, but first, I have to satisfy my sense of moral outrage."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "Put that gun down, you buck-toothed fool."
• (Charles Fleischer) "That's it, Doom. Give me another excuse to pump you full of lead. So you thought you could get away with it, didn't you? Ha. We toons may act idiotic, but we're not stupid. We demand justice. Why, the real meaning of the word probably hits you like a ton of bricks."
• (Kathleen Turner) "Roger. Roger, say something."
• (Charles Fleischer) "Look, stars. Ready when you are, Raoul."

• (Charles Fleischer) "Listen, my philosophy is this: If you don't have a good sense of humor, you're better off dead."
• (Bob Hoskins) "You might just get your wish if we don't find out what happened to this."
• (Charles Fleischer) "What is it, Eddie?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "Just look at it."
• (Charles Fleischer) "Mister Acme's will."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Yeah, and I think Acme took the part of sound mind, and your wife of sound body."
• (Charles Fleischer) "Why, I resent that innuendo."

• (Charles Fleischer) "Yeah. Check the probate. Why, my Uncle Thumper had a problem with HIS probate, and he had to take these big pills, and drink lots of water."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Not prostate, you idiot, PROBATE."

• (Charles Fleischer) "What could have possibly happen to you to turn you into such a sourpuss?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "You really want to know? I'll tell you. A toon killed my brother."
• (Charles Fleischer) "A toon? No."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Yes, a toon. We were investigating a robbery at the First National Bank of Toontown. Back in those days, me and Teddy liked working Toontown, thought it was a lot of laughs. Anyway, this guy got away with a zillion simoleons. We trailed him to a little dive down on Yukster Street. We went in. Only he got the drop on us, literally. Dropped a piano on us from fifteen stories. Broke my arm, Teddy never made it. I never did find out who that guy was. All I remember was him standing over me laughing, with those burning red eyes, and that high, squeaky voice. He disappeared into Toontown after that."

• (Smart Ass) "Don't make us play rough, Valiant. We just want the rabbit."
• (Charles Fleischer) "What are we gonna do, Eddie? What are we gonna do, Eddie? What are we gonna do?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "What's all this "we" stuff? They just want the rabbit."

• (Charles Fleischer) "Let's forget it, there's nobody here."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Is that it, or are you scared?"
• (Charles Fleischer) "P-p-p-p-please. Me, scared? Don't be ridiculous."

• (Charles Fleischer) "P-p-please. Don't worry. Whatever you say. Yes, ma'am. Aye-aye, sir. Okey-dokey. Why, I'll take care of him like he was my own brother. Or my own sister."
• (Charles Fleischer) "Ow. Or my brother's sister. Or my second cousin --"

• (Charles Fleischer) "Eddie Valiant, you're under arrest. Pbbbbbbbbb --"
• (Bob Hoskins) "Get outta there. Idiot, I got no keys for these cuffs."

• (Charles Fleischer) "P-p-please, Eddie. Don't throw me out. Don't you realize you're making a big mistake? I didn't kill anybody. I swear. The whole thing's a set up. A scam, a frame job. Ow. Eddie, I could never hurt anybody. Oow. My whole purpose in life is to make -- people -- laugh."

• (Charles Fleischer) "Jeepers, another stupid newsreel. I hate the news."

• (Charles Fleischer) "No wonder you hate me. If a toon killed my brother, I'd hate me too."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Come on, don't cry. I don't hate you."
• (Charles Fleischer) "Yes, you do."
• (Bob Hoskins) "No, I don't."
• (Charles Fleischer) "You do hate me. Otherwise, you wouldn't have yanked my ears all those times."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Well, I'm -- I'm sorry I yanked your ears."
• (Charles Fleischer) "All the times you yanked my ears?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "All the times I yanked your ears."

• (Charles Fleischer) "P-p-please, Raoul. I can give you stars. Just drop the refrigerator on my head one more time."
• (Raoul J. Raoul) "Roger, I've dropped it on your head 23 times already."
• (Charles Fleischer) "I can take it, don't worry about me."
• (Raoul J. Raoul) "I'm not worried about you, I'm worried about the REFRIDGERATOR."
• (Charles Fleischer) "But I can give you stars, Look."

• (Charles Fleischer) "Jumpin' Jeepers."
• (Benny the Cab) "Hey Roger, what do you call the middle of a song?"
• (Charles Fleischer) "Gee, I don't know"
• (Charles Fleischer) "A BRIDGE."

• (Charles Fleischer) "I just don't believe it. I won't believe it. I can't believe it. I shan't believe it."

• (Charles Fleischer) "Oh Jessica, please tell me it's not true."
• (Charles Fleischer) "P-p-p-please."

• (Charles Fleischer) "Benny, you go to the cops. I'm gonna save my wife."
• (Benny the Cab) "Be careful with that gun. This ain't no cartoon, you know."
• (Charles Fleischer) "Wouldn't you know? Locked."

• (Charles Fleischer) "Boy, what is this, some kind of secret room?"
• (Joanna Cassidy) "It's a rotgut room, holdover from Prohibition."
• (Charles Fleischer) "Oh, I get it, a speakeasy, a gin mill, a hooch parlor."

• (Charles Fleischer) "Hide me Eddie -- PLLLEASE."
• (Charles Fleischer) "Remember you never saw me."
• (Bob Hoskins) "GET OUT OF THERE."

• (Charles Fleischer) "My buddy's Eddie V. / A sourpuss, you'll see / But when I'm done, he'll need no gun / 'Cause a joker he will be / C-D-E-F-G-H-I / I -- love to raise some Cain / Believe me, it's no strain / It feels so great to smash a plate / And look, 'cause there's no pain."
• (Charles Fleischer) "-- no pain."
• (Charles Fleischer) "-- no pain."

• (Charles Fleischer) "Boy, did you see that? Nobody takes a wallop like Goofy. What timing. What finesse. What a genius."

• (Charles Fleischer) "I wasn't worried, were you?"

• (Charles Fleischer) "Jeepers, Eddie. That was swell. You saved my life. How can I ever repay ya?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "For starters, don't ever kiss me again."

• (Charles Fleischer) "When you called Maroon, you told him you had the will, but you don't. When he finds out, he's gonna be mad. He might try to kill ya."
• (Bob Hoskins) "I can handle a Hollywood cream puff. I just don't want the odds to change. You cover my back. If you hear or see anything, beep the horn twice."
• (Charles Fleischer) "Yeah, that's it, beep the horn twice. Cover your back. Boy, I'm ready: dukes up, eyes peeled, ears to the ground. Why, nobody gets the drop on Roger Rabbit."

Kathleen Turner as Jessica Rabbit

• (Kathleen Turner) "Oh, Honey Bunny."
• (Charles Fleischer) "Oh, Love Cup."
• (Kathleen Turner) "Oh, Roger. You were a pillar of strength."

• (Kathleen Turner) "Roger, darling. I want you to know I love you. I've loved you more than any woman's ever loved a rabbit."

• (Kathleen Turner) "Uh-oh. It's the weasels. This way. We'll take Gingerbread Lane."
• (Bob Hoskins) "No, no. Gingerbread Lane's this way."
• (Benny the Cab) "So, Valiant, you call a cab or what?"
• (Benny the Cab) "Hubba, hubba, hubba."
• (Benny the Cab) "Allow me, mademoiselle."

• (Kathleen Turner) "Mr. Valiant?"
• (Kathleen Turner) "I hope you're proud of yourself, and those pictures you took."

• (Kathleen Turner) "You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do."
• (Bob Hoskins) "You don't know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do."
• (Kathleen Turner) "I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way."

• (Kathleen Turner) "Oh, no. Where's Roger?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "Roger? He chickened out on me back at the studio."
• (Kathleen Turner) "No, he didn't. I hit him over the head with a frying pan and stuck him in the trunk. So he wouldn't get hurt."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Makes perfect sense."

Christopher Lloyd as Judge Doom

• (Christopher Lloyd) "A few weeks ago I had the good providence to stumble upon a plan of the city council. A construction plan of epic proportions. We're calling it a freeway."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Freeway? What the hell's a freeway?"
• (Christopher Lloyd) "Eight lanes of shimmering cement running from here to Pasadena. Smooth, safe, fast. Traffic jams will be a thing of the past."

• (Smart Ass) "We searched Valiant boss. The will ain't on him."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "Then frisk the woman."
• (Greasy) "I'll handle this one --"
• (Bob Hoskins) "Nice booby trap."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "Do they have the will or not?"
• (Smart Ass) "Nah, just a stupid love letter."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "No matter. I doubt that will is going to show up in the next fifteen minutes anyway."
• (Bob Hoskins) "What happens in the next fifteen minutes?"
• (Christopher Lloyd) "Toontown will be legally mine, lock, stock and barrel."

• (Christopher Lloyd) "Have they got the will or not?"
• (Smart Ass) "Nah, just a stupid love letter."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "No matter. I doubt the will'll show up in the next fifteen minutes, anyway."
• (Bob Hoskins) "What happens in the next fifteen minutes?"
• (Christopher Lloyd) "Toontown will be legally mine, lock, stock and barrel."

• (Christopher Lloyd) "Since I've had Toontown under my jurisdiction my goal has been to reign in the insanity, and the only way to do that is to make Toons respect --"
• (Christopher Lloyd) "-- the law."

• (Christopher Lloyd) "No Toon can resist the old shave-and-a-haircut trick --"

• (Christopher Lloyd) "You see, Mr. Valiant, the successful conclusion of this case draws the curtain on my career as a jurist in Toontown. I'm retiring, taking a new role in the private sector."
• (Bob Hoskins) "That wouldn't be Cloverleaf Industries, by any chance?"
• (Christopher Lloyd) "You're looking at the sole stockholder."

• (Christopher Lloyd) "Rummaging around in a lady's dressing room? Tsk, tsk, tsk. What were you looking for, Mr. Valiant?"
• (Kathleen Turner) "Last week, some heavy breather wanted one of my nylons as a souvenir."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Look, doll, if I'd wanted underwear, I'd have broken into Frederick's of Hollywood. You know damn well I was looking for Marvin Acme's will."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "Marvin Acme had no will. I should know; the estate's in my jurisdiction."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Oh, there was a will all right. And she and R.K. Maroon killed him for it."
• (Kathleen Turner) "That's absurd."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Someone else is in here looking for the will, too. Probably Maroon's flunkies."
• (Bob Hoskins) "I would've caught 'em, too, if Cheetah here hadn't have interrupted me."

• (Christopher Lloyd) "Shave, and a haircut --"
• (Charles Fleischer) "TWO BITS."

• (Smart Ass) "Hey Judge, what should we do with the wallflower?"
• (Christopher Lloyd) "We'll settle with him later. Right now, I feel like dispensing some justice. Bring me some dip."

• (Christopher Lloyd) "Is this man removing evidence from the scene of the crime?"
• (Lt. Santino) "Ah, no, Judge Doom. Valiant here was just picking it up for you. Weren't you, Eddie?"
• (Christopher Lloyd) "Hand it over."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Sure."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Their number one seller."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "I see working for a toon has rubbed off on you."
• (Bob Hoskins) "I wasn't working for a toon. I was working for R.K. Maroon."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "Yes, we talked to Mr. Maroon. He told us the rabbit became quite agitated when you showed him the pictures. The rabbit said one way or another he and his wife were going to be happy. Is that true?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "Bah. What do I look like? A stenographer?"
• (Lt. Santino) "Shut your yap, Eddie. The man's a judge."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "That's all right, Lieutenant. From the smell of him, I'd say it was the booze talking."

• (Christopher Lloyd) "You wouldn't have any idea where the rabbit might be, Mr. Valiant?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "Have you tried Walla Walla? Cucamonga? I hear Kokomo's very nice this time of the year."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "I'm surprised you're not more cooperative, Mr. Valiant. A human has been murdered by a toon. Don't you appreciate the magnitude of that?"

• (Christopher Lloyd) ""Merry-Go-Round Broke Down". What a looney selection for a group of drunken reprobates."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "HE'S HERE."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "Stop that laughing."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "Have you forgotten what happened last time? If you don't stop that laughing, you're going to end up dead just like your idiot hyena cousins."

• (Christopher Lloyd) "We'll handle Mr. Valiant our own way: downtown."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Downtown? Fine. I'll just get a hold of Santino. I'll be more than happy to go downtown."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "Oh, I'm not talking about that downtown. I'm talking about downtown Toon town."

• (Smart Ass) "Say, Judge. You want we should disresemble the place?"
• (Christopher Lloyd) "No, Sergeant. Disassembling the place won't be necessary. The rabbit is going to come right to me."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "No toon can resist the old Shave-and-a-Haircut trick."

• (Christopher Lloyd) "I'm looking for a murderer. A rabbit. A toon rabbit --"
• (Christopher Lloyd) "about YEEEEAAAA -- big."
• (Joanna Cassidy) "Well look, there's no Rabbit here. So don't come in here harrassing my customers."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "I didn't come here to harrass. I came here to reward."

• (Christopher Lloyd) "Can you guess what this is?"
• (Kathleen Turner) "Oh my God, it's DIP."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "That's right, my dear. Enough to dip Toon Town off the face of the earth."
• (Christopher Lloyd) "Vehicle of my own design; 5,000 gallons of heated dip, pumped at enormous velocity through a pressurized water cannon. Toon Town will be erased in a matter of minutes."

Alan Tilvern as R.K. Maroon

• (Alan Tilvern) "Roger, I know this seems pretty painful now, but you'll find someone new. Won't he, Mr. Valiant?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "Good looking guy like that? Dames will be breaking his doors down."
• (Charles Fleischer) "Dames? What dames?"
• (Charles Fleischer) "Jessica's the only one for me. You'll see. We'll rise above this piddling pecadillo. We're gonna be happy again. You got that? Happy. Capital H-A-P-P-I."
• (Bob Hoskins) "At least he took it well."

• (Alan Tilvern) "Let me see that will."
• (Bob Hoskins) "I told you, I got it."
• (Alan Tilvern) "I wanna see it now."
• (Alan Tilvern) ""How do I love thee, let me count the ways"? Is this supposed to be a joke?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "No, this is."

• (Alan Tilvern) "Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. The truth is, I had a chance to sell my studio. But Cloverleaf wouldn't buy my property unless Acme sold them his. The stubborn bastard wouldn't sell, so I was going to blackmail him with pictures of him and the rabbit's wife. Blackmail, that's all. I've been around toons all my life. I didn't want to see them destroyed."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Toons destroyed? Why?"
• (Alan Tilvern) "If I tell you, I'm a dead man."
• (Bob Hoskins) "You're a dead man if you don't tell me."
• (Alan Tilvern) "Unless Acme's will shows by midnight tonight, Toontown's gonna be land for the free --"

• (Alan Tilvern) "What are you gonna do to me, Valiant?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "I'm gonna listen to you spin the Cloverleaf scenario. The story of greed, sex and murder. And the parts that I don't like, I'm gonna edit out."
• (Alan Tilvern) "You got it all wrong, Valiant. I'm a cartoon maker, not a murderer."
• (Bob Hoskins) "Everybody's gotta have a hobby."

• (Alan Tilvern) "How much do you know about show business, Mr. Valiant?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "Only that there is no business like it, no business I know."
• (Alan Tilvern) "Yeah. And there's no business more expensive. I'm 25 grand over budget on the latest Baby Herman cartoon. You've seen the rabbit blowing his lines. He can't keep his mind on his job. You know why?"
• (Bob Hoskins) "One too many refrigerators dropped on his head?"
• (Alan Tilvern) "Nah, he's a toon. You can drop anything you want on his head, he'll shake it off. But break his heart, goes to pieces just like you and me."

Stubby Kaye as Marvin Acme

• (Stubby Kaye) "Over here, Jessica. I have everything ready. Right here, on the bed."
• (Kathleen Turner) "Oh, not now, Marvin. I have a headache."
• (Stubby Kaye) "But Jessica, you promised."
• (Kathleen Turner) "Oh, all right. But this time, take off that hand buzzer."

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