Wayne's World (film) Quotes

Wayne's World (film) is a TV show that appeared on TV in 1970 . Wayne's World ended its run in 1970.

It features Lorne Michaels as producer, J. Peter Robinson in charge of musical score, and Theo van de Sande as head of cinematography.

Wayne's World (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Wayne's World (film) is 95 minutes long. Wayne's World (film) is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Mike Myers as Wayne Campbell, Dana Carvey as Garth Algar, Lara Flynn Boyle as Stacy, Tia Carrere as Cassandra, Meat Loaf as Tiny, Rob Lowe as Benjamin, Brian Doyle-Murray as Noah Vanderhoff, Kurt Fuller as Russel, Mike Hagerty as Davy, Michael DeLuise as Alan, Colleen Camp as Mrs. Vanderhoff, Rob Lowe as Benjamin Kane, Robert Patrick as T-1000, Lee Tergesen as Terry, Charles Noland as Ron Paxton, Carmen Filpi as Old Man Withers, Sean Gregory Sullivan as Phil, Ione Skye as Elyse, and Dan Bell as Neil.

Wayne's World (film) Quotes

Mike Myers as Wayne Campbell

• (Mike Myers) "She will be mine. Oh, yes; she will be mine."

• (Mike Myers) "All I have to say about that is "asphinctersayswhat"."
• (Brian Doyle-Murray) "What?"
• (Mike Myers) "Exactly."

• (Mikita's Manager, Glen) "I'd never done a crazy thing in my life before that night. Why is it that if a man kills another man in battle, it's called heroic, yet if he kills a man in the heat of passion, it's called murder?"
• (Mike Myers) "Hel-lo. What do you think you're doing? Only me and Garth get to talk to the camera."

• (Mike Myers) "Am I supposed to be a man? Am I supposed to say, "It's OK, I don't mind, I don't mind"? Well, I mind. I mind big time. And you know what the worst part is? I NEVER LEARNED TO READ."
• (Tia Carrere) "Is that true?"
• (Mike Myers) "Yes, everything except the reading part."

• (Mike Myers) "You know, Cassandra, from this height -- you could really hock a loogie on someone."

• (Mike Myers) "Yes, officer, is there a problem?"
• (Robert Patrick) "Have you seen this boy?"

• (Mike Myers) "She's a babe."
• (Dana Carvey) "She's magically babelicious."
• (Mike Myers) "She tested very high on the stroke-ability scale."

• (Mike Myers) "Phil, what are you doing here? You're partied out, man. Again."
• (Dana Carvey) "What if he honks in the car?"
• (Mike Myers) "I'm giving you a no-honk guarantee."

• (Mike Myers) "No way."
• (Dana Carvey) "Way."

• (Mike Myers) "This guy is good."
• (Rob Lowe) "I picked up a little Cantonese while I was in the Orient. You know, you sound a lot like you're from Kowloon Bay as opposed to Hong Kong."
• (Tia Carrere) "I was born in Kowloon Bay."
• (Rob Lowe) "There you have it."
• (Mike Myers) "This guy is really good."

• (Mike Myers) "I smell bacon. Does anyone else smell bacon?"
• (Dana Carvey) "I definitely smell a pork product of some kind."

• (Mike Myers) "What the hell's going on? I lost my show, I lost my best friend, I lost my girl. I'm being s*** on, that's all, s*** on, and you know what really pisses me off-"
• (Mike Myers) "Wait, where are you goin'? OK, things aren't that great, but I'll get 'em back, OK?"

• (Mike Myers) "She's a babe. Schwing. Oddie-Oddie-Oddie-Oddie-Oddie. Uggghh."

• (Mike Myers) "Yep, this is definitely the kind of apartment I'll have if I ever move out of my parents' basement."

• (Mike Myers) "It will be mine. Oh yes. It will be mine."

• (Mike Myers) "I mean, there are two Darrin Stevenses, right? Dick York and Dick Sargent. Yeah, right, as if we wouldn't notice. Oh hold on: Dick York, Dick Sargent, Sergeant York -- Wow, that's weird."

• (Mike Myers) "Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?"

• (Mike Myers) "So, do you come to Milwaukee often?"
• (Alice Cooper) "Well, I'm a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers were coming here as early as the late 1600s to trade with the Native Americans."
• (Pete) "In fact, isn't "Milwaukee" an Indian name?"
• (Alice Cooper) "Yes, Pete, it is. Actually, it's pronounced "mill-e-wah-que" which is Algonquin for "the good land.""
• (Mike Myers) "I was not aware of that."

• (Mike Myers) "No Stairway. Denied."

• (Mike Myers) "Or, imagine being magically whisked away to -- Delaware."
• (Mike Myers) "Hi. I'm in -- Delaware."

• (Mike Myers) "Zang. ("excellent" in Cantonese)"

• (Mike Myers) "Let me bring you up to speed. My name is Wayne Campbell. I live in Aurora, Illinois, which is a suburb of Chicago; excellent. I've had plenty of jo-jobs; nothing I'd call a career. Let me put it this way: I have an extensive collection of name tags and hairnets. Ok, so I still live with my parents, which I admit is bogus and sad. However, I do have a cable access show, and I still know how to party. But what I'd really like is to do Wayne's World for a living. It might happen. Yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my butt."

• (Mike Myers) "I know I don't have his looks. I know I don't have his money. I know I don't have his connections, his knowledge of fine wines. I know sometimes when I eat I get this clicking sound in my jaw --"

• (Mike Myers) "First he screws me, then he screws you. It's Dutch door action."

• (Mike Myers) "Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries."

• (Mike Myers) "OK, this guy needs coffee and crullers' stat."
• (Dan Bell) "We got to get him to Rampart, let's go."

• (Mike Myers) "Tell me, when the first show is over, will you still love me when I'm an incredibly humungoid giant star?"
• (Tia Carrere) "Yeah."
• (Mike Myers) "Will you still love me when I'm in my hanging-out-with-Ravi-Shankar phase?"
• (Tia Carrere) "Yeah."
• (Mike Myers) "Will you still love me when I'm in my carbohydrate, sequined-jumpsuit, young-girls-in-white-cotton-panties, waking-up-in-a-pool-of-your-own-vomit, bloated-purple-dead-on-a-toilet phase?"
• (Tia Carrere) "Yeah."
• (Mike Myers) "Okay, party. Bonus."

Dana Carvey as Garth Algar

• (Dana Carvey) "Hey, are you done yet? I'm getting tired of holding it."
• (Mike Myers) "Yeah, that's what she said."

• (Dana Carvey) "Hey Phil, if you're gonna spew, spew into this."

• (Dana Carvey) "Ribbed for her pleasure. Ewww."

• (Dana Carvey) "We're looking down on Wayne's basement. Only that's not Wayne's basement. Isn't that weird?"
• (Mike Myers) "Yeah, that's weird, man, that's weird. Garth. That was a haiku."

• (Dana Carvey) "What are you gonna do with these guys?"
• (Mike Myers) "Oh, nothing really. I just always wanted to open a door to room where people are being trained like in James Bond movies."

• (Dana Carvey) "Did you ever see that "Twilight Zone" where the guy signed a contract and they cut out his tongue and put it in a jar and it wouldn't die, it just grew and pulsated and gave birth to baby tongues? Pretty cool, huh?"

• (Dana Carvey) "Gretzky denied."

• (Dana Carvey) "We fear change."

• (Dana Carvey) "Aaaahh. Turn it off man, turn it off. It's sucking my will to live. Oh, the humanity."

• (Dana Carvey) "Okay, pop quiz. Cassandra is not interested in Benjamin because -- A: Chicks think he's handsome, B: has cool car, C: has lots of cash, D: has no visible scars, E: does not live with parents."
• (Mike Myers) "Okay, how about, F: you're a gimp. You know what you can do with your pop quiz?"
• (Dana Carvey) "Well, you know what you can do with your show? You can take a flying --"
• (Dana Carvey) "-- till the handle breaks off and you have to get a doctor to pull it out again."
• (Mike Myers) "You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

• (Dana Carvey) "Benjamin is nobody's friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick."

• (Dana Carvey) "I'm having a good time -- not."

• (Dana Carvey) "Sometimes I wish I could boldly go where no man has gone before -- but I'll probably stay in Aurora. What are you thinking about?"
• (Mike Myers) "Cassandra. She's a fox. In French, she would be called "la renarde" and she would be hunted with only her cunning to protect her."
• (Dana Carvey) "She's a babe."
• (Mike Myers) "She's a robo-babe. In Latin, she would be called "babia majora"."
• (Dana Carvey) "If she were a president, she would be Baberham Lincoln."
• (Dana Carvey) "Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played a girl bunny?"
• (Mike Myers) "No."
• (Mike Myers) "No."
• (Dana Carvey) "Neither did I. I was just asking."

• (Dana Carvey) "OK -- First I'll access the secret military spy satellite that's in a geosynchronous orbit over the Midwest. Then, I'll ID the limo by the vanity plate "MR. BIGGG" and get his approximate position. Then, I'll reposition the transmitter dish on the remote truck to 17.32 degrees east, hit WESTAR 4 over the Atlantic, bounce the signal down into the Azores, up to COMSAT 6, beam it back to SATCOM 2 transmitter number 137, and down on the dish on the back of Mr. Big's limo -- It's almost too easy."

• (Dana Carvey) "Uhm, Wayne? What do you do if every time you see this one incredible woman, you think you're gonna hurl?"
• (Mike Myers) "I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be."

• (Dana Carvey) "Hey, why is this guy being so nice to us?"

• (Dana Carvey) "We're not worthy. We're not worthy."
• (Dana Carvey) "We're scum."
• (Mike Myers) "We suck."

• (Dana Carvey) "Hey Mr. Donut Man, who's trying to kill ya? I don't know but they better not."

• (Dana Carvey) "Uh, Wayne?"
• (Mike Myers) "Yeah?"
• (Dana Carvey) "Do you ever get the feeling Benjamin's just using us?"
• (Mike Myers) "Good call. It's like he wants us to be liked by everyone. I mean Led Zeppelin didn't write tunes everybody liked. They left that to the Bee Gees."

• (Dana Carvey) ""Daily reminder, Thursday: Purchase feeble public access cable show and exploit it." Gee, I feel sorry for whoever that is."

• (Dana Carvey) "Uh oh. Don't look. Stacy."
• (Mike Myers) "Where? Oh, God, I made eye contact."
• (Dana Carvey) "Psycho hose beast."
• (Lara Flynn Boyle) "Happy anniversary, Wayne."
• (Mike Myers) "Stacy, we broke up two months ago."
• (Lara Flynn Boyle) "Well that doesn't mean we can't still go out."
• (Mike Myers) "Well it does, actually. That's what breaking up is."
• (Lara Flynn Boyle) "Well, are you going to go to the Gasworks tonight?"
• (Mike Myers) "No."
• (Lara Flynn Boyle) "Don't you want to open your present?"
• (Mike Myers) "If it's a severed head, I'm going to be very upset."
• (Lara Flynn Boyle) "Open it."
• (Mike Myers) "Ok. What is it?"
• (Lara Flynn Boyle) "It's a gun rack."
• (Mike Myers) "A gun rack -- a gun rack. I don't even own a gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?"
• (Lara Flynn Boyle) "You don't like it? Fine. You know Wayne, if you're not careful, you're going to lose me."
• (Mike Myers) "I lost you two months ago. Are you mental? We broke up. Get the net."

• (Unnamed) "You are like -- amazing -- dude."
• (Dana Carvey) "Thanks. I like to play."

• (Dana Carvey) "That bass player's a babe. She makes me feel kinda funny, like when we used to climb the rope in gym class."

Sean Gregory Sullivan as Phil

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Carmen Filpi as Old Man Withers

• (Carmen Filpi) "And I would've gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for you snoopin' kids."

Rob Lowe as Benjamin

• (Rob Lowe) "Have you spoken to Wayne about the Vanderhoff spot?"
• (Kurt Fuller) "Yes, briefly. He was not very receptive."
• (Rob Lowe) "Oh really? Well I'll explain it to him that it's not a choice. It's in his contract"
• (Kurt Fuller) "Oh. Well Wayne will understand that right away -- NOT."
• (Kurt Fuller) "Excuse me."

• (Rob Lowe) "First, let me get this out of the way; I'm a big fan."
• (Dana Carvey) "You are?"
• (Rob Lowe) "The way I see it, your show is capable of so much more."
• (Dana Carvey) "Well, we'll try harder, OK? Just give us a second chance. Just don't go and cancel us without giving us a second chance."

• (Rob Lowe) "Wayne. Listen, we need to have a talk about Vanderhoff. The fact is he's the sponsor and you signed a contract guaranteeing him certain concessions, one of them being a spot on the show."
• (Mike Myers) "Well that's where I see things just a little differently. Contract or no, I will not bow to any sponsor."
• (Rob Lowe) "I'm sorry you feel that way, but basically it's the nature of the beast."
• (Mike Myers) "Maybe I'm wrong on this one, but for me, the beast doesn't include selling out. Garth, you know what I'm talking about, right?"
• (Dana Carvey) "It's like people only do these things because they can get paid. And that's just really sad."
• (Mike Myers) "I can't talk about it anymore; it's giving me a headache."
• (Dana Carvey) "Here, take two of these."
• (Mike Myers) "Ah, Nuprin. Little. Yellow. Different."
• (Rob Lowe) "Look, you can stay here in the big leagues and play by the rules, or you can go back to the farm club in Aurora. It's your choice."
• (Mike Myers) "Yes, and it's the choice of a new generation."

• (Rob Lowe) "So Garth, what do you think so far?"
• (Dana Carvey) "It's like a new pair of underwear: At first, it's constrictive, but after awhile it becomes a part of you."

• (Rob Lowe) "Do you have a lawyer?"
• (Mike Myers) "Yes. Ahm, no. We're between lawyers right now. You see, our first lawyer screwed our affairs so bad."
• (Dana Carvey) "That's right. I walked right to that office; that's what I did; and I reached across that desk and I grabbed him by his big fat head and I said "Listen, man. I'm not going to jail for you or for anybody.""

Kurt Fuller as Russel

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Lee Tergesen as Terry

• (Lee Tergesen) "Wayne. Wayne. Garth told me about the show, man. I love you man."
• (Mike Myers) "Yeah, and I love you too, Terry."
• (Lee Tergesen) "No, no, no. I mean it man. I LOVE you."
• (Mike Myers) "No, I-I mean it. I love you."
• (Lee Tergesen) "No, you don't, man. I love you."
• (Mike Myers) "Garth. Hey, come over here, I think Terry has something he wants to say to you."
• (Lee Tergesen) "I love you, man."
• (Dana Carvey) "Thank you."

Lara Flynn Boyle as Stacy

• (Lara Flynn Boyle) "Hi, Garth."
• (Dana Carvey) "Hi."
• (Lara Flynn Boyle) "I'm looking for Wayne. I'm very concerned about him; he seems to be going through a difficult phase right now, ya know. What do you think it is?"
• (Dana Carvey) "That you're mental."
• (Lara Flynn Boyle) "You know him best, what do you think I should do?"
• (Dana Carvey) "Just get over it and go out with somebody else."
• (Lara Flynn Boyle) ""Get over it go out with somebody else." Yeah, thanks, OK, great. Hi."

Tia Carrere as Cassandra

• (Tia Carrere) "I don't believe I've ever had French champagne before --"
• (Rob Lowe) "Oh, actually all champagne is French; it's named after the region. Otherwise it's sparkling white wine. Americans of course don't recognize the convention, so it becomes that thing of calling all of their sparkling white "champagne", even though by definition they're not."
• (Mike Myers) "Ah yes, it's a lot like "Star Trek: The Next Generation". In many ways it's superior but will never be as recognized as the original."

• (Tia Carrere) "Yeah, and if a frog had wings it wouldn't bump its ass when it hopped."
• (Mike Myers) "Interesting. Where did you learn English?"
• (Tia Carrere) "College -- and the Police Academy movies."

• (Tia Carrere) "I love you, Wayne."
• (Mike Myers) "I love you, Cassandra."
• (Dreamwoman) "I love you, Garth."
• (Dana Carvey) "I love you, dreamwoman."
• (Brian Doyle-Murray) "You know, ever since I did your show, kids are looking at me in a whole new way."
• (Lee Tergesen) "I love you, man."
• (Kurt Fuller) "And I love you. Because I've learned that Platonic love can exist between two grown men."
• (Rob Lowe) "And I've learned something, too. I've learned that a flawless profile, a perfect body, the right clothes, and a great car can get you far in America; almost to the top; but it can't get you everything."
• (Mike Myers) "Isn't it great that we're all better people?"
• (Dana Carvey) "FISHED IN."

Brian Doyle-Murray as Noah Vanderhoff

• (Brian Doyle-Murray) "Come bust a move where the games are played, it's chill, it's fresh, it's Noah's Arcade."

Mike Hagerty as Davy

• (Mikita's Manager, Glen) "Anything wrong, Davy?"
• (Mike Hagerty) "Yeah, I got paid today."
• (Mikita's Manager, Glen) "Yeah, I know what that's like."
• (Mike Hagerty) "No. You don't understand. They laid me off. I got one of these."
• (Mikita's Manager, Glen) "Yeah, I know how that feels."
• (Mike Hagerty) "Know what I'd like to do?"
• (Mikita's Manager, Glen) "Yeah I know what you'd like to do. You'd like to find the guy who did it, rip his still beating heart out of his chest and hold it in front of his face so he can see how black it is before he dies."
• (Mike Hagerty) "Actually, I was thinking of filing a grievance with the union."
• (Mikita's Manager, Glen) "Well, the world's a twisted place."

Michael DeLuise as Alan

• (Michael DeLuise) "Do I frighten you?"
• (Colleen Camp) "No."
• (Michael DeLuise) "Do you want me to?"

Meat Loaf as Tiny

• (Meat Loaf) "Wayne. How you doin'?"
• (Mike Myers) "Hey, Tiny, who's playing today?"
• (Meat Loaf) "Jolly Green Giants and the s***ty Beetles."
• (Mike Myers) "s***ty Beetles? Are they any good?"
• (Meat Loaf) "They suck."
• (Mike Myers) "Then it's not just a clever name."

Ione Skye as Elyse

• (Ione Skye) "It's really good seeing you, Benjamin. You haven't been into Shakey's for so long."
• (Rob Lowe) "Well, I've been real busy."

Charles Noland as Ron Paxton

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