Training Day (Archer) Quotes

Training Day (Archer) is a television show that appeared on TV in 1970 . Training Day completed its run in 1970.

Training Day (Archer) Quotes

• (Sterling Archer) "A secret agent. That's what I am. And I shouldn't even be saying that. But you have a certain -- thickness about you that I find -- appealing."
• (Unnamed) "Well, I find your drunkenness very unappealing."
• (Sterling Archer) "I am drunk, or I wouldn't be talking to you."

• (Cyril Figgis) "But you shot a machine gun at me."
• (Agent Lana Kane) "Around you. Because my feelings were hurt."

• (Cyril Figgis) "Hey will I get to learn karate?"
• (Sterling Archer) "Karate? The Dane Cook of martial arts? No, ISIS agents use Krav Maga."
• (Cyril Figgis) "Krav?"
• (Sterling Archer) "We've got an ex-MOSSAD guy, come's in on Thursdays."
• (Cyril Figgis) "Neato."
• (Sterling Archer) "Yeah, Tuesdays he does a really rigorous spin class."

• (Cyril Figgis) "OK, so human intelligence entails what exactly?"
• (Sterling Archer) "Well there's false flags, dead drops, drop outs, cut outs, active doubles, passive doubles, dangled moles. The often under appreciated honeypot. One of my favorites."
• (Cyril Figgis) "Wow, sounds like a lot to cover."
• (Sterling Archer) "Yeah, so we may have to gloss over -- almost all of it."

• (Unnamed) "Malory Archer, you get more beautiful every time I see you."

• (Sterling Archer) "Seriously, Krieger. You are my Oprah."

• (Sterling Archer) "Oh my God. You killed a hooker."
• (Cyril Figgis) "Call girl."
• (Sterling Archer) "NO Cyril. When they're dead they're just hookers."

• (Cyril Figgis) "Hey, so how did you know where I was?"
• (Agent Lana Kane) "When we first started going out I may have"
• (Agent Lana Kane) "injected a tracking device into your body."

• (Sterling Archer) "Lying is like 95% of what I do."
• (Cyril Figgis) "-- for work."
• (Sterling Archer) "Right."

• (Sterling Archer) "Oh my god. You killed a hooker."
• (Cyril Figgis) "Call girl."
• (Sterling Archer) "No Cyril. When they're dead they're just hookers."

• (ISIS Comptroller Cyril Figgis) "Do something."
• (Sterling Archer) "I'm doing all kinds of stuff, Cyril. I'm shooting the gun, I'm driving the car --"
• (ISIS Comptroller Cyril Figgis) "I could drive better than that."
• (Sterling Archer) "Well, knock yourself out, I'm ejecting."

• (Cheryl) "Beep, beep, beep."
• (Pam) "Oh you're giving me the truck noise, Karen Carpenter's stunt double?"

• (Sterling Archer) "Oh, my god. You killed a hooker."
• (Cyril Figgis) "Call girl."
• (Sterling Archer) "No, Cyril."
• (Cyril Figgis) "She was a call --"
• (Sterling Archer) "When they're dead, they're just hookers. God, i said the cap on the poison pen slips off for no reason, didn't I?"
• (Cyril Figgis) "But i just assumed that if anything bad happened --"
• (Sterling Archer) "No, do not say the chekhov gun, Cyril. That, sir, is a facile argument."
• (Woodhouse) "And also woefully esoteric."
• (Sterling Archer) "Woodhouse --"
• (Woodhouse) "Fetching a rig, sir."
• (Sterling Archer) "Now he's fetching a rug. Happy, Cyril?"
• (Cyril Figgis) "No. No, I'm not happy."
• (Sterling Archer) "Well, guess what? Me neither. I mean, big picture, I wouldn't say I'm a happy person."
• (Woodhouse) "Sir, I have fetched the rug."
• (Sterling Archer) "Plus, now I'm out of a rug."

• (Cyril Figgis) "Hello Cheryl."
• (Cheryl) "It's Carol."
• (Sterling Archer) "Uh, since when?"
• (Cheryl) "Since I had it legally changed because you always call me Carol."

• (Pam) "Oh, my God, did you hear that?"
• (Cheryl) "What do you think it is?"
• (Malory Archer) "Immigrants. That's all they do, you know; just drive around listening to raps and shooting all the jobs."

• (Sterling Archer) "This is what a real field agent uses."
• (Cyril Figgis) "Huh. Point's a lot finer than what I prefer."
• (Sterling Archer) "That's because it's a hypodermic needle."
• (Cyril Figgis) "What?"
• (Sterling Archer) "And the cartridge is full of a deadly supertoxin called poiso -- caine."
• (Cyril Figgis) "Uh, hey whoa."
• (Sterling Archer) "Keep it in here. But be careful. The cap slips off for like no reason."

• (Sterling Archer) "A secret agent. Yeah, that's what I am. And I shouldn't even be saying that, but you have a certain thickness about you that I find very appealing."
• (Unnamed) "Well I find your drunkenness very unappealing."
• (Sterling Archer) "I am drunk or I wouldn't be talking to you."

• (Cyril Figgis) "I'm not sure that's technically irony."
• (Sterling Archer) "What? This is like O. Henry and Alanis Morissette had a baby and named it this exact situation."

• (Malory Archer) "Oh, like you'd recognize a vegetable that wasn't wrapped in a Monte Cristo sandwich."

• (Sterling Archer) "I love you, Santa Claus."
• (Sterling Archer) "I do."

• (Agent Lana Kane) "I don't care if you have fifty dead hookers in the trunk. You lied to me."

• (Malory Archer) "Stirred up, Cyril. In the loins."
• (Cyril Figgis) "You think her loins were stirring?"
• (Malory Archer) "If not frothing."

• (Sterling Archer) "And it's not broadening Cyril's horizons. Trust me, mother's idea of horizon broadening is a lot of fights walking home from a lot of jazz tap lessons."

• (Sterling Archer) "Seriously Krieger, you are my Oprah."

• (Sterling Archer) "Shoot, bitch. Democracy's at stake."

• (Malory Archer) "Because I don't want Sterling to end up with a woman like Lana Kane? My god, a black"
• (Malory Archer) "ops field agent."
• (Pam) "Thought she was going in a whole other direction with that."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.