Tough Guys Quotes

Tough Guys is a television show that first aired in 1970 . Tough Guys ended its run in 1970.

It features Joe Wizan as producer, James Newton Howard in charge of musical score, and King Baggot (cinematographer) as head of cinematography.

Tough Guys is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Tough Guys is 104 minutes long. Tough Guys is distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

The cast includes: Dana Carvey as Richie Evans, Burt Lancaster as Harry Doyle, Alexis Smith as Belle, Eli Wallach as Leon B. Little, Kirk Douglas as Archie Long, Nathan Davis as Jimmy Ellis, Monty Ash as Vince, Charles Durning as Deke Yablonski, and Billy Barty as Philly.

Tough Guys Quotes

Kirk Douglas as Archie Long

• (Kirk Douglas) "Well, Derek -- Am I hot?"
• (Derek) "You're practically on fire."

• (Kirk Douglas) "I never thought the great Harry Doyle would turn into a gutless wimp."
• (Burt Lancaster) "Keep it up Arch, I'll put another hole in that chin a yours."

• (Kirk Douglas) "Screw you."
• (Kirk Douglas) "Screw you, too."

• (Kirk Douglas) "I'm tellin' ya, Harry --"
• (Burt Lancaster) "I know, I know. We could have got away with it."
• (Kirk Douglas) "Did I say that before?"
• (Burt Lancaster) "Every day for thirty years."

• (Man in gay bar) "Shall we?"
• (Kirk Douglas) "Shall we what?"
• (Man in gay bar) "Shall we dance?"
• (Kirk Douglas) "You don't want to go in there."

• (Derek) "Our colors are cherry, peach, lime, olive, and avocado."
• (Kirk Douglas) "I don't want to eat the suit, I just want to wear it."

• (Kirk Douglas) "Your train is being robbed."
• (Train Engineer) "You're crazy. Nobody robs trains anymore."
• (Burt Lancaster) "I'd say you've been misinformed."

• (Kirk Douglas) "Who the hell are you, anyway?"
• (Eli Wallach) "I'm Peter Pan. I've come to take you to Never-Never Land, okay? But you won't be comin' back."
• (Burt Lancaster) "You mind telling us why you want to kill us?"
• (Eli Wallach) "I'm Leon B. Little."
• (Burt Lancaster) "So?"
• (Eli Wallach) "Leon B. Little. Don't the name mean nothin' to ya?"
• (Burt Lancaster) "No."
• (Eli Wallach) "Do you at least know Vinnie Mendelman?"
• (Burt Lancaster) "Yeah."
• (Eli Wallach) "Thank God they know somebody."

Burt Lancaster as Harry Doyle

• (Burt Lancaster) "What the hell are you doing here? I thought you was workin'."
• (Kirk Douglas) "I quit."
• (Burt Lancaster) "You quit?"
• (Kirk Douglas) "Couldn't take it anymore. People treating me like dirt ever since I got out of jail. Sweeping out toilets, scraping crud off dishes, my girlfriend tryin' to kill me with sex; and I'm dressing like Bozo the Clown, just to fit in. I don't want to fit in anymore."
• (Burt Lancaster) "That makes two of us."

• (Burt Lancaster) "And I ain't goin' to your funeral."
• (Kirk Douglas) "You ain't invited."

• (Burt Lancaster) "We ain't gonna rob no train."

• (Burt Lancaster) "Well, what do you want to do now, Archie? Steal another empty armored truck? Maybe start a collection?"
• (Kirk Douglas) "No, we've got to do something big. Something they woun't laugh at."
• (Burt Lancaster) "Like what?"
• (Kirk Douglas) "We could take down the flier."
• (Burt Lancaster) "The Gold Coast Flier? That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard."
• (Kirk Douglas) "That's what you said about the armored truck."
• (Burt Lancaster) "No, I said the armored truck was dumb. This is stupid."

• (Burt Lancaster) "I never met so many stupid people in one day."

• (Burt Lancaster) "You know, Arch, I never met so many stupid people in one day."
• (Kirk Douglas) "Ugly too."

• (Federale Captain) "Buenos dias señores. Put up your hands. I'm afraid you're under arrest."
• (Burt Lancaster) "Eh, now wait a minute, wait a minute. This ain't fair."
• (Federale Captain) "No?"
• (Kirk Douglas) "Señor, there's twelve of you and -- just two of us."
• (Federale Captain) "Si?"
• (Burt Lancaster) "A-and you got guns, and we got nothin'."
• (Federale Captain) "But this is how we put you under arrest señor."
• (Kirk Douglas) "Where we come from --"
• (Kirk Douglas) "-- they've got rules about making arrests."
• (Federale Captain) "Rules?"
• (Kirk Douglas) "Si."
• (Federale Captain) "What kind of rules?"
• (Kirk Douglas) "Well -- for one thing --"

• (Burt Lancaster) "We're running to Mexico."
• (Kirk Douglas) "Tell him to open the switches all the way, or we'll wreck the god**** train."
• (Burt Lancaster) "Open the switches all the way, or we'll wreck the god**** train."
• (Eli Wallach) "Let's wreck the god**** train anyway."

Dana Carvey as Richie Evans

• (Dana Carvey) "Look I know how you feel, but you can't go throwing yogurt into everyone's faces when you lose your cool."

• (Dana Carvey) "I can't believe you guys stole an armored truck."

• (Dana Carvey) "I got a call from the rest home today. She said that you were being a disruptive influence during lunch. That you refused to eat your spinach soufflé, and that you caused a riot. And that last night you made love to a woman."
• (Burt Lancaster) "Do you make love to women, Richie?"
• (Dana Carvey) "Well, yes. Of course I do."
• (Burt Lancaster) "Then how come when you do it, you're a stud and when I do it I'm a disruptive influence to society."
• (Dana Carvey) "Because I'm only 28 and you're 72."

Charles Durning as Deke Yablonski

• (Charles Durning) "Once a thief, always a thief."

• (Jarvis) "1-Adam 27, please respond."
• (Charles Durning) "1-Adam 27."
• (Jarvis) "Yablonski, this is Jarvis. What the hell are you doing?"
• (Charles Durning) "Eating lunch, sir."
• (Jarvis) "Bulls***, Yablonski. I know what you're doing, and if you're not back here in ten minutes, you're going to be eating your retirement dinner tonight."
• (Charles Durning) "Yes, sir."
• (Charles Durning) "Son of a bitch."

Alexis Smith as Belle

• (Alexis Smith) "Call the police."
• (Howard) "I did."
• (Alexis Smith) "Call the police."
• (Charles Durning) "God damn it, lady. I AM the police."

Eli Wallach as Leon B. Little

• (Eli Wallach) "I wanna get a hundred of those coppers."
• (Burt Lancaster) "There's only fifty Leon."
• (Eli Wallach) "So? I'll shoot 'em all twice."

• (Eli Wallach) "Surrender's for wimps. I vote we die."

• (Eli Wallach) "How can you live in a hell hole like this? If I lived in a place like this I'd kill myself in an hour."
• (Alexis Smith) "You've been here 45 minutes."

• (Eli Wallach) "Ah, lovers' quarrel. It breaks my heart. Turn around, worm food. Start walking. And don't try anything stupid or you'll die right here. And don't let the goggles fool ya, buster. I'm a sharpshooter."
• (Eli Wallach) "All right, turn here. Turn. What the hell is this, a parade?"
• (Burt Lancaster) "Where are we going, friend?"
• (Eli Wallach) "We're going up this alley, 'friend'."
• (Kirk Douglas) "And then what?"
• (Eli Wallach) "And then I'm coming out -- alone."
• (Eli Wallach) "Come back, you bastards. Let's finish it once and for all. You'll rot. It stinks down here."
• (Burt Lancaster) "Finish it? Finish what?"
• (Kirk Douglas) "You sure you don't know that guy?"
• (Burt Lancaster) "No."
• (Eli Wallach) "Damn it, I'm up to my knees in guck."
• (Burt Lancaster) "Could we be losing our memories?"
• (Kirk Douglas) "I dunno. Could be, Harry."
• (Eli Wallach) "I'm gonna get pneumonia."

• (Eli Wallach) "Where are they?"
• (Dana Carvey) "Where are who?"
• (Eli Wallach) "Harry Doyle and Archie Long."
• (Dana Carvey) "That's privileged information. I can't tell you."
• (Eli Wallach) "Oh yeah."
• (Dana Carvey) "You can shoot me, but I still won't tell. Harry and Archie are my friends."
• (Eli Wallach) "You'll never make it dip-s***. Sit."

• (Eli Wallach) "Uh-oh. Coppers."
• (Unnamed) "You okay, sir?"
• (Eli Wallach) "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine."
• (Eli Wallach) "Assholes."

Nathan Davis as Jimmy Ellis

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Billy Barty as Philly

• (Billy Barty) "Hey guys, that deal we we're talking about -- nice."

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