Throw Momma from the Train Quotes

Throw Momma from the Train is a television show that first aired in 1970 . Throw Momma from the Train ended its run in 1970.

It features Larry Brezner as producer, David Newman (composer) in charge of musical score, and Barry Sonnenfeld as head of cinematography.

Throw Momma from the Train is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Throw Momma from the Train is 88 minutes long. Throw Momma from the Train is distributed by Orion Pictures.

The cast includes: Anne Ramsey as Momma, Danny DeVito as Owen, Billy Crystal as Larry, Branford Marsalis as Lester, and Kim Greist as Beth Ryan.

Throw Momma from the Train Quotes

Danny DeVito as Owen

• (Danny DeVito) "Larry. I can't breathe."
• (Billy Crystal) "Yes. That's because I'm choking you."

• (Danny DeVito) "Momma. You're alive."
• (Danny DeVito) "Old people; you have to reassure them."

• (Danny DeVito) "I wrote a book, and it got published. It's called 'Owen and Owen's Friend Larry. And it's all about you, me, and Momma, and our times that we shared together. What's your book about?"
• (Billy Crystal) "You wrote a book about us?"
• (Danny DeVito) "Yeah."
• (Billy Crystal) "Mmm-hmm. All about you, me, and Momma?"
• (Danny DeVito) "Yeah. Isn't it great?"
• (Billy Crystal) "Mmmm -- YOU SON OF A BITCH, I'm gonna KILL YOU."
• (Danny DeVito) "Wha -- what? Don't. Do you want me to leave?"
• (Billy Crystal) "No, I don't want you to leave, I want you dead."
• (Danny DeVito) "No, no, wait. Larry. Here. Take this. It's a copy of my book."
• (Billy Crystal) "What is this, you wrote a pop-up book?"
• (Danny DeVito) "Yeah. See, there's me, you, and there's Momma. And see, this is the little train -- TOOT TOOT."
• (Billy Crystal) "You wrote a pop-up book. Owen, this is the cutest thing I have ever seen."

• (Danny DeVito) "This is good. It's like the Flintstones' car wash."

• (Danny DeVito) "She didn't feel a thing, Professor Donner. I know how important that is to you not to have her feel a thing."
• (Billy Crystal) "Who?"
• (Danny DeVito) "Your wife. She had a little trouble walking, but that was from the gardener."
• (Billy Crystal) "You saw my wife?"
• (Danny DeVito) "She was kind of a tart, Larry. Although I can see why you married her. She was very beautiful."

Anne Ramsey as Momma

• (Anne Ramsey) "Who's this?"
• (Danny DeVito) "This is Cousin Paddy. He's coming to stay with us a while. Isn't that nice?"
• (Anne Ramsey) "You don't have a "Cousin Paddy"."
• (Danny DeVito) "You lied to me."

• (Anne Ramsey) "Get out of my way, you black bastard."
• (Billy Crystal) "What?"

• (Anne Ramsey) "Who the HELL are you?"
• (Billy Crystal) "I'm Owen's friend."
• (Anne Ramsey) "Owen doesn't have a friend."
• (Billy Crystal) "That's because he's shy."
• (Anne Ramsey) "No he's not. He's fat and he's stupid."

• (Anne Ramsey) "Your friend had an accident, he's dead. You go bowling and leave a corpse to take care of me."
• (Danny DeVito) "He's dead?"
• (Anne Ramsey) "See for yourself."
• (Danny DeVito) "Larry. My friend, my friend -- Larry."
• (Anne Ramsey) ""My friend. My friend." You big crybaby. Go bury him in the yard before he stinks up the place."

• (Anne Ramsey) "He's trying to kill me. I asked for the salted nuts. He brought me the unsalted nuts. The unsalted nuts make me choke."

• (Anne Ramsey) "Who the hell are you, all of a sudden?"

• (Anne Ramsey) "Owen. Food."
• (Danny DeVito) "In a minute, Momma."
• (Anne Ramsey) "Don't you "In a minute, Momma" me. Get off your fat little ass or I'll break it for you. I want two soft-boiled eggs, white toast, and some of that grape jelly goddammit. And don't burn the toast."
• (Danny DeVito) "Kill her, Larry."

• (Anne Ramsey) "Holy s***. What a dream I was having. Louis Armstrong was trying to kill me."
• (Billy Crystal) "Mrs. Lift?"
• (Anne Ramsey) "Get away from me, you horse's ass."
• (Billy Crystal) "She's not a woman -- she's the Terminator."

• (Anne Ramsey) "Stop it, damn it. I got a wax ball in my ear. Get it out."
• (Danny DeVito) "Oh, Momma --"
• (Anne Ramsey) "You're writing to her, aren't you Owen?"
• (Danny DeVito) "Don't start that again, Momma, and don't hit me anymore."
• (Anne Ramsey) "You love her."
• (Danny DeVito) "There's no "her", Momma."
• (Anne Ramsey) "You're writing a letter."
• (Danny DeVito) "I'm writing a story for class, Momma. Don't you see? I take a class, I take a nice class."
• (Anne Ramsey) "Yeah, yeah, yeah."
• (Danny DeVito) "And I'm gonna be a writer someday."
• (Anne Ramsey) "You know how that typing upsets me."
• (Danny DeVito) "I'm sorry, Momma. A writer writes."
• (Anne Ramsey) "You're gonna be nothing. You're gonna be nothing. You'll never get to first base. All you do is type, type, type, type, type, type. You sit there typing all day like a fat little pigeon."
• (Danny DeVito) "You won't ever hear it again, Momma. I promise."
• (Danny DeVito) "Momma --"
• (Anne Ramsey) "I think you got it, sonny."
• (Anne Ramsey) "I don't know what I'd do without you, Owen baby."
• (Danny DeVito) "I know, Momma. I know."
• (Anne Ramsey) "Owen, my little baby. Owen, my little baby boy."

• (Anne Ramsey) "You clumsy poop."

Billy Crystal as Larry

• (Billy Crystal) "Hate makes you impotent, Love makes you crazy. Somewhere in the middle you can survive."

• (Billy Crystal) "Next is "Murder at My Friend Harry's" by Owen -- Lift. "Chapter one: The night was humid.""
• (Billy Crystal) "Class dismissed. I have a enormous headache in my eye."

• (Billy Crystal) "The night was -- nt -- oy. There's probably halibut right here -- who could write better than me. Uh. Oy. the night was -- ya got a line fish, just yell it out. I'm up for grabs."

• (Billy Crystal) "Why did you kill my wife?"
• (Danny DeVito) "I thought you wanted me to. That was the deal we made that night. You told me that hated your wife. You wished she was dead. I told you I hated my momma. I told you I wished she was dead. You told me to see that Hitchcock film about swapping murders. I figured I kill your wife and you kill my momma. That's fair."
• (Billy Crystal) "I am not killing your mother. You have to turn yourself in."
• (Danny DeVito) "I'm not turning myself in. That's not part of the plan."
• (Billy Crystal) "What plan? There was never any plan, you moron. I am taking you to the police and you are telling them what you did. That's it and that's all. I don't want to hear another word."
• (Danny DeVito) "If you take me to the cops, I'll just tell them that you did it, Larry. What's the point trying to convince them that I did it all on my own? You've got the motive."

• (Billy Crystal) "Keep going a little further, Owen, maybe somebody'll harpoon you."

• (Billy Crystal) "This is a real classic by Mr. Pinsky. It's entitled "One Hundred Girls I'd Like to Pork.""
• (Unnamed) ""Pork"?"
• (Mr. Pinsky, Creative Writing Student) "It's a coffee-table book."
• (Billy Crystal) ""One Hundred Girls I'd Like To -- " Hmmm. Chapter One: Kathleen Turner. Chapter Two: Cybill Shepherd. Chapter Three: Suzanne Pleshette. Chapter Four: The Girl in the Taco Commercial. Chapter Five: The Woman in 4B. Chapter Six: The Oriental Laker Girl. Chapter Seven -- Mr. Pinsky, this is not literature."
• (Mr. Pinsky, Creative Writing Student) "Well, you know, I would put in photographs, a brief character sketch, like a biography, and a nice dust jacket."
• (Billy Crystal) "Mr. Pinsky, what is this?"
• (Mr. Pinsky, Creative Writing Student) "It's literature. It's a fantasy. My fantasy. Like Melville, this is my great white whale."
• (Mrs. Hazeltine) "It's whacking material."
• (Mr. Pinsky, Creative Writing Student) "Isn't that literature?"
• (Billy Crystal) "Mr. Pinsky, how do you associate "Moby Dick" to a list of women you'd like to have sex with?"
• (Unnamed) "Well, I think it's very brave."
• (Mrs. Hazeltine) "I think he's vulgar."
• (Unnamed) "That's what they said about Twain."
• (Mrs. Hazeltine) "That's what I'm saying about him."
• (Unnamed) "I think you're vulgar."
• (Mrs. Hazeltine) "I think you're a no-talent little s***."
• (Mr. Pinsky, Creative Writing Student) "Maybe I should change the title."
• (Unnamed) "I like the title."
• (Billy Crystal) "OK, I'll see you Wednesday, class. Good work today. Remember, a writer writes, always."

• (Billy Crystal) "Owen, what the hell did you do to my wife?"
• (Danny DeVito) "Ehh, I don't want to say over the phone. All I can tell ya is that I killed her last night."

• (Billy Crystal) "You killed my wife, Owen."
• (Danny DeVito) "No, I didn't -- Yes, I did."
• (Billy Crystal) "You're a sick man, Owen. You need care and I'm taking you to the police."
• (Danny DeVito) "Did you know that Hawaii is a series of islands that was all spit up by the same volcano? I never knew that."
• (Billy Crystal) "You killed somebody. You killed a person. You're a murderer. You took a life."
• (Danny DeVito) "You're right. You're right, I'm no good. How could I do that? I'm a sick pers -- cows."

• (Billy Crystal) "It wasn't motivated."
• (Danny DeVito) "Sure it was. The guy in the hat killed the other guy in the hat."

• (Billy Crystal) "Owen, you gotta get it through your thick head: I may be a lot of things, but I'm not a killer."
• (Danny DeVito) "You don't have to blow her brains out or anything."
• (Billy Crystal) "Thank you, that takes the pressure right off."
• (Danny DeVito) "She's old. She's got a bad ticker. All you gotta do is jerk around a lot when you talk to her."
• (Danny DeVito) ""Nice to meet you, Mrs. Lift.""
• (Billy Crystal) "Would you stop it?"
• (Danny DeVito) "Well, just meet her. Maybe she'll be somebody you'd LIKE to kill."

• (Billy Crystal) "The night was dry, yet it was raining."

• (Billy Crystal) "One little murder and I'm Jack the Ripper."

• (Billy Crystal) "Slut. She's a slut. Look at her. Slut."

• (Billy Crystal) "It's my life, Margaret. It's MY life and I want it back."

• (Billy Crystal) "Do you say the night was humid? Or do you say the night was moist? That's writing."
• (Anne Ramsey) "The night was sultry."

• (Billy Crystal) "Remember, a writer writes, always."

• (Billy Crystal) "Two minutes ago you were my agent, and now you're telling me that --"
• (Joel) "Larry, I'm sorry. That's the way the mop flops."
• (Billy Crystal) "That's what i get after seven years? That's the way the mop flops?"
• (Joel) "Larry, you have every right to feel like this is the lowest point in your entire life. Arnie, what are you doing? You're bending the fern. Don't bend the fern. Fluff it. Fluff it."

Branford Marsalis as Lester

• (Branford Marsalis) "All his life, Larry never did -- anything."

• (Branford Marsalis) "Man, you been on "The night was -- " for six months."
• (Billy Crystal) "Takes place in the Yukon."

Kim Greist as Beth Ryan

• (Kim Greist) "He didn't do it."
• (Police Sergeant) "Well, then, who do you suppose did?"
• (Kim Greist) "Somebody else."

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