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The Witches of Eastwick (film) Quotes

The Witches of Eastwick (film) is a television show that appeared on TV in 1970 . The Witches of Eastwick stopped airing in 1970.

It features Neil Canton; Peter Guber; Jon Peters as producer, John Williams in charge of musical score, and Vilmos Zsigmond as head of cinematography.

The Witches of Eastwick (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Witches of Eastwick (film) is 118 minutes long. The Witches of Eastwick (film) is distributed by Warner Bros..

The cast includes: Cher as Alexandra Medford, Jack Nicholson as Daryl Van Horne, Michelle Pfeiffer as Sukie Ridgemont, Veronica Cartwright as Felicia Alden, Richard Jenkins as Clyde Alden, and Susan Sarandon as Jane Spofford.

The Witches of Eastwick (film) Quotes

Cher as Alexandra Medford

  • (Carol Medford) "You don't have to come today, you know, I mean, if you don't want to."
  • (Cher) "No, sweetheart, I want to, it's just that I have a million things I have to do first."
  • (Cher) "I hope his dick is bigger than his I.Q."
  • (Cher) "Who are you?"
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Just your average, horny little devil."
  • (Cher) "Handsome he should be really handsome."
  • (Michelle Pfeiffer) "Not too handsome. Nice eyes."
  • (Susan Sarandon) "Nice ass."
  • (Cher) "I don't think that men are the answer to everything."
  • (Michelle Pfeiffer) "No."
  • (Susan Sarandon) "Then why do we always end up talking about them?"

Michelle Pfeiffer as Sukie Ridgemont

  • (Michelle Pfeiffer) "What scares me isn't how short life is, no, it's the pain, all the pain. I don't understand why there has to be any pain."
  • (Michelle Pfeiffer) "Huge."
  • (Susan Sarandon) "I prefer small."
  • (Michelle Pfeiffer) "Oh, yeah, right --"
  • (Susan Sarandon) "No, no, no, Sam was huge, and there were times when I just could not face it."
  • (Cher) "Really? Well, I'm sort of in the middle myself. But hey, as long as it works, it's in."
  • (Susan Sarandon) "It's in."

Jack Nicholson as Daryl Van Horne

  • (Jack Nicholson) "Men are such cocksuckers aren't they? You don't have to answer that. It's true. They're scared. Their dicks get limp when confronted by a woman of obvious power and what do they do about it? Call them witches, burn them, torture them, until every woman is afraid. Afraid of herself -- afraid of men -- and all for what? Fear of losing their hard-on."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "I see men, sixty, seventy years old breaking their balls to stay fit. What for? When I die, I want to be sick, not healthy."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Well, if that's how you feel about it, then that's how you feel about it. Is that how you feel about it?"
  • (Jack Nicholson) "You may think me crazy, but I know music. It's the one thing that makes me humble."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Daryl Van Horne."
  • (Cher) "Alexandra Medford."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "The local sculptress. The one who makes the little booby dolls."
  • (Cher) "Well, you know, they're little, and --"
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Little, yes, but -- potent. Full of juice. Potent, you can feel it when you pick them up."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "I like women. I admire them. But, if you want me to treat you like a dumb twit I will. What's the point? You have brains Alex, more than brains, and you don't even know it do you? Well most women do not."
  • (Cher) "Are you married?"
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Good question. You see, brains. The answer is no, I don't believe in it. Good for the man, lousy for the woman. She dies, she suffocates. I've see it. And then the husband runs around complaining that he's fucking a dead person, and he's the one who killed her."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "You haven't seen any snowy egrets around here, have you?"
  • (Cher) "No."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Me either. Not that I'd know a snowy egret if I were pissing on one. You want some lunch?"
  • (Cher) "I think it's a little late in the season."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "For lunch?"
  • (Cher) "No, pissing on birds."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Girls -- What are you doing?"
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Do you think God knew what He was doing when He created woman? Huh? No shit. I really wanna know. Or do you think it was another one of His minor mistakes like tidal waves, earthquakes, FLOODS? You think women are like that? S'matter? You don't think God makes mistakes? Of course He does. We ALL make mistakes. Of course, when WE make mistakes they call it evil. When GOD makes mistakes, they call it -- nature. So whaddya think? Women -- a mistake -- or DID HE DO IT TO US ON PURPOSE?"
  • (Jack Nicholson) "I see men running around trying to put their dicks into everything, trying to make something happen -- but it's WOMEN who are the source -- the only power. Nature, birth, rebirth. Cliche? Cliche -- sure -- but true."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Have another cherry."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Take it easy. We don't want the whole household in here, do we, boys? That's it. Good boys, we're gonna do just fine. Now come on, come on to daddy and gimme a big kiss. Come on, good boys, come on. Come on, come to daddy, cootchie, cootchie, cootchie, coo."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "That's it, come on, come on. come on."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Aw ladies, come on."

Veronica Cartwright as Felicia Alden

  • (Veronica Cartwright) "There once was a paradise, and then a serpent came into that garden."
  • (Richard Jenkins) "Oh, for christ sakes, Felicia, would you stop? Please, just stop, stop."
  • (Veronica Cartwright) "Oh, Clyde, I have nothing against a good fuck, but there is danger here and somebody has to do something about it."
  • (Veronica Cartwright) "You know, you sit there in that pathetic excuse for an office, reporting gossip, while under your very nose, evil is doing its worst. You have no spine, Clyde. Not one ounce of morality. Versed, even common sense. Nuclear holocaust, rape, murder, apartheid. Why these words they mean nothing to you."
  • (Richard Jenkins) "It's a local newspaper, Honey."
  • (Veronica Cartwright) "It's local turpitude. You are a failure, Clyde. You know you should be strung up with that son-of-a-bitch who bought that house."

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