The Whole Ten Yards Quotes

The Whole Ten Yards is a television program that was first aired in 1970 . The Whole Ten Yards ended its run in 1970.

It features David Willis as producer, John Debney in charge of musical score, and Neil Roach as head of cinematography.

The Whole Ten Yards is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Whole Ten Yards is 98 minutes long. The Whole Ten Yards is distributed by Warner Bros..

The cast includes: Bruce Willis as Jimmy Tudeski, Matthew Perry as Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky, Johnny Messner as Zevo, Kevin Pollak as Lazlo, Tasha Smith as Julie, Frank Collison as Strabo, Amanda Peet as Jill, and Natasha Henstridge as Cynthia.

The Whole Ten Yards Quotes

Bruce Willis as Jimmy Tudeski

• (Bruce Willis) "What's all this?"
• (Bruce Willis) "First my ex-wife, now my wife-wife."
• (Matthew Perry) "No, no, no. She just hated her outfit."
• (Bruce Willis) "Come here."
• (Matthew Perry) "I think he wants to talk to you for a minute."
• (Bruce Willis) "No, you."
• (Matthew Perry) "Oh."

• (Bruce Willis) "If you ever grab me like that again, I will stick a knife in your face."

• (Bruce Willis) "did you hire a hitter?"
• (Kevin Pollak) "I can't really remember. Why? Is somebody shooting at you?"

• (Bruce Willis) "You know I was a bed wetter?"
• (Matthew Perry) "You don't do it anymore, do you?"
• (Bruce Willis) "When I was 12 I saw my father naked in a shower."
• (Matthew Perry) "Well, that's probably why you wet the bed. Very Freudian. Jungian."

• (Bruce Willis) "Oh no. Look it. Blanche."
• (Matthew Perry) "Who's Blanche?"
• (Bruce Willis) "Consuelo. Xerxes. Alert the others. There's been a tragedy."
• (Matthew Perry) "Who's Blanche?"
• (Bruce Willis) "This is Blanche. You killed her."
• (Matthew Perry) "I'm sorry."
• (Bruce Willis) "Go home, Oz. Go home before something bad happens."
• (Matthew Perry) "Something bad already has happened; Cynthia's been kidnapped."
• (Bruce Willis) "Blanche, put down in her prime --"
• (Matthew Perry) "He names his chickens. You name your chickens?"
• (Bruce Willis) "WAAAHHHH. Blanche. You're DEAD."

• (Bruce Willis) "Squeal bag. Squealster. Remington Squeal."

• (Bruce Willis) "What is this?"
• (Matthew Perry) "It's what we've been building for the last few hours."
• (Bruce Willis) "Well, get it out of here."
• (Matthew Perry) "Why?"
• (Bruce Willis) "Because I hate it. It makes me sad."

• (Bruce Willis) "Do unto others before you're turned into a pillar of salt."
• (Matthew Perry) "A pillar of salt?"
• (Bruce Willis) "Yeah. Moses said that. Read the bible, Oz."

• (Bruce Willis) "Stay away from my chickens, Oz."

• (Bruce Willis) "You refused to follow the ABCs of professional killing."
• (Matthew Perry) "There's an actual ABC for professional killing?"
• (Bruce Willis) "Shut up."

Kevin Pollak as Lazlo

• (Kevin Pollak) "What the fook are you assholes up to now?"

• (Kevin Pollak) "Tell everyone that Lazlo Gogolak is back in town."
• (Frank Collison) "How are they gonna tell everyone when they're dead?"

• (Kevin Pollak) "Yermo. Zevo. We're driving to Mexico in 10 minutes. Stop drinking or you'll get an IUD."

• (Kevin Pollak) "Oh, something else?"
• (Kevin Pollak) "Ha. That was fun."

• (Kevin Pollak) "Can I ask you a questionnaire, how you found this place?"
• (Amanda Peet) "Nice Porsche you got."
• (Kevin Pollak) "You still have the Porsche? Let me explain to you when we get a moment together, the concept of the secret hideout."

• (Kevin Pollak) "Veres Yimmy?"
• (Matthew Perry) "Yimmys dead. Jimmys dead. Their both dead."

• (Kevin Pollak) "Put one"
• (Kevin Pollak) "in his head. Maybe that will make him remember."

• (Kevin Pollak) "You killed my Strabo."
• (Bruce Willis) "Actually, Strabo was already dead. He got shot when your hitter tried to shoot us."
• (Bruce Willis) "Is this true?"
• (Tasha Smith) "Hey, Lazlo. s*** happens, all right?"
• (Kevin Pollak) "Oh yeah. Watch this s*** happen."

• (Kevin Pollak) "I want him dead. Yesterday. Before breakfast. Before eggs. Scrambled."

• (Kevin Pollak) "Your wife is in a safe --"
• (Matthew Perry) "My wife is in a safe?"
• (Kevin Pollak) "Place. Safe place. Let me finish the sentence."

• (Kevin Pollak) "Now you go in and you grab him. You go in and you grab him. Now what do you do?"
• (Frank Collison) "I go in and --"
• (Kevin Pollak) "And grab him. Now what do you do?"
• (Frank Collison) "I go in and I grab him."
• (Kevin Pollak) "Piece of pie."
• (Frank Collison) "No. It's cake."
• (Kevin Pollak) "What did I say?"
• (Frank Collison) "Pie."
• (Kevin Pollak) "And what did you say?"
• (Frank Collison) "Cake. No, pie."
• (Kevin Pollak) "Piece of pie."
• (Frank Collison) "It's cake."

• (Kevin Pollak) "Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"

• (Kevin Pollak) "Where's my son?"
• (Matthew Perry) "All right, that's it."
• (Natasha Henstridge) "Oz --"
• (Matthew Perry) "No, I've had enough."
• (Matthew Perry) "If you ever want to see your son again, you'll let us go right now."
• (Kevin Pollak) "Is that right?"
• (Matthew Perry) "Yeah, that's right. And if we're not out of here by eleven o'clock, Jill's gonna put one in Strabo's forehead. Just like Jimmy put one in Janni's forehead. Oh -- it wasn't pretty."
• (Kevin Pollak) "Give me a gun."
• (Bruce Willis) "Not bad, Oz."
• (Matthew Perry) "Thanks."

• (Kevin Pollak) "You locked my son in the trunk?"
• (Matthew Perry) "No. No, sir. He locked himself in the trunk."
• (Kevin Pollak) "This I believe."

• (Kevin Pollak) "You want a slice of the pee?"

Amanda Peet as Jill

• (Amanda Peet) "Where did he get, Oz?"
• (Matthew Perry) "I don't know."
• (Matthew Perry) "It's Cynthia's; she got it from her grandmother when she was a child, and Cynthia gave it to Jimmy for good luck on hits."
• (Bruce Willis) "You say you're not a squealer. Huh?"

• (Amanda Peet) "I thought I married a contract killer, not Martha Stewart."

• (Amanda Peet) "For two years I have been begging you to go back to work and then when Cynthia gets kidnapped, you're off to the races."
• (Bruce Willis) "Off to the races?"

Matthew Perry as Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky

• (Matthew Perry) "Jimmy. Jimmy, don't shoot. It's me, it's Oz."
• (Bruce Willis) "I know."
• (Matthew Perry) "Okay, that almost hit me."

• (Matthew Perry) "Are you wearing bunny slippers?"

• (Matthew Perry) "Call Mrs. Himelfarb, remind her to floss -- cancel my appointments for the rest of my life and send in as much nitrous as you can, call the FBI."
• (Tasha Smith) "What?"
• (Matthew Perry) "CALL THE FBI."
• (Tasha Smith) "What's wrong?"
• (Matthew Perry) "What's wrong, what's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. Everything's wrong. Take a look around you. Nothing's right. Cynthia got kidnapped by a bunch of Hungarian killers. And instead of calling the FBI or police like every other rational man, I thought to myself: 'Hey, let's try to get in contact with somebody else that kills a lot of people.' So I went down to Mexico; which is heavily underdeveloped, by the way; and I asked him to help me out. Did he help me out? No, he didn't help me out, he didn't help me out. No, he didn't help me out. Know what he did do? He put on bunny slippers, shot at me and then cooked me some chicken."
• (Matthew Perry) "I'll be okay. I'm gonna calm down and go downstairs and I'm gonna take a nice, leisurely drive in my Porsche."
• (Matthew Perry) "Wait a minute, I can't drive my Porsche because I don't have my Porsche any more. That's gone, that's history, that's archives. We left the Porsche so we could get onto a bus and rent some other car and you know why? Because I don't. Do you know why? Some kind of GPS, I don't know, system."
• (Tasha Smith) "What's that smell?"
• (Matthew Perry) "I'll tell you what that smell is. It's me. I smell, and you know why? I've been wearing this suit for three days. I smell like ass. Or foot. Or some kind of foot that's been lodged up deep, deep, deep, inside an ass. I'll tell you the worst thing: I woke up naked next to another naked man who admittedly wets the bed. So if you talk to anybody or anybody calls here, you tell them I fell down a flight of stairs."
• (Tasha Smith) "Yes, sir."
• (Matthew Perry) "Don't 'yes sir' me. Call the FBI."
• (Tasha Smith) "Calling -- I'm calling."
• (Matthew Perry) "Dial F-B-I. Call the FBI and tell them I fell down a flight of stairs."

• (Matthew Perry) "What the hell happened last night? And why does my ass hurt?"
• (Bruce Willis) "You fell down a flight of stairs."

• (Matthew Perry) "So this is how a retired mass murderer acts."
• (Bruce Willis) "No. This is how a retired mass murderer acts when people show up uninvited."
• (Matthew Perry) "Noted."

• (Matthew Perry) "Hell, you were shooting at me in Mexico. Was that all part of the plan?"
• (Bruce Willis) "As a matter of fact. It was. Yeah."

• (Matthew Perry) "Would it be okay for me to ask you at this juncture who you are and what you're doing in my house?"
• (Kevin Pollak) "I am flabbergasted."
• (Matthew Perry) "I'm sorry?"
• (Kevin Pollak) "Chagrined. That you don't see the resemblance in the facial structure."
• (Matthew Perry) "And you guys basically understand all of this?"

• (Matthew Perry) "I don't think God keeps an eye on your sperm. What kind of job is that for God? It'd take him all day. I'm gonna throw up."
• (Bruce Willis) "Did you have a good relationship with your father?"
• (Matthew Perry) "Yeah, we were like pals."
• (Bruce Willis) "I wanna to kill my father. I want to take a icepick and stick it right in his eyeball."
• (Matthew Perry) "Still gonna throw up."
• (Bruce Willis) "We had some great times though."
• (Matthew Perry) "You and your father?"
• (Bruce Willis) "No. Me and Cynthia."
• (Matthew Perry) "That's almost vomit."

Johnny Messner as Zevo

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Natasha Henstridge as Cynthia

• (Natasha Henstridge) "You're afraid of everything, Oz."
• (Matthew Perry) "That is so not true."

• (Natasha Henstridge) "I swear to God, Oz. If you look at that monitor one more time --"
• (Matthew Perry) "I'll be taking cold showers for the rest of my life?"
• (Natasha Henstridge) "For starters."

Frank Collison as Strabo

• (Frank Collison) "A little male bonding?"
• (Bruce Willis) "Just like C block, huh Strabo?"
• (Matthew Perry) "I fell down the stairs, Strabo."

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