The Tick (1994 TV series) Quotes

The Tick is a Superhero that debuted in 1994 on Fox Broadcasting Company (. The Tick ended its run in 1996.

The Tick was on for 3 seasons and 36 episodes. It features Hank Tucker as producer, Micky Dolenz doing voices, and Doug Katsaros as composer. The Tick is executive produced by Joe Bacall. The Tick is created by Ben Edlund.

Each episode of The Tick is 30 minutes (including television advertisement) long. The Tick is produced by 20th Century Fox Television and distributed by 20th Television.

The Tick Quotes

• (Tick) "Thank you for teaching us all that love is thicker than most bodily membranes. But not quite as sticky. And that a heart full of love is better than a body full of people. Merrilly, the feet that carried us on the heart's path today will be the feet that soak in the steaming brew of happiness tomorrow."

• (Tick) "Arthur, that belt is an accessory of evil, and evil is never in fashion."

• (Tick) "Space aliens have neat stuff. Their space cookies are good, too."

• (Tick) "And that's just it, Doc; my mind has always been my Achilles' heel."

• (Tick) "Let us not forget the lesson that we can learn from this, Arthur, that man was not meant to tamper with the four basic food groups."

• (Tick) "You know, Arthur, when you spend two months riding around on a really big man, you start to learn a few things about yourself. You learn that it is a really great thing to stay on Earth and live in a place that has no arms or legs of its own. And most importantly, Arthur, you learn how to close your eyes and tell yourself that this just isn't happening to me."

• (Arthur) "Not in the face. Not in the face."

• (Thrakkorzog) "Nature is one call you can't put on hold."

• (Tick) "Evil, chum, is ever-green."

• (Tick) "The night is young and we have umbrellas in our drinks."

• (Tick) "You know why super villains are so unhappy, Arthur? They don't treasure the little things."

• (Tick) "And so, Arthur, we learned that gambling is bad and yet in a certain sense, isn't life itself a gamble? You can never be sure of anything. Like who would have thought that dolphins could go bad and that fish were magnetic? Not me, no sir, not me."

• (Tick) "Oh, what a goofy work is man."

• (Unnamed) "This looks like a job for Bi-Polar Bear -- but I just cant seem to get out of bed."

• (Tick) "Man. Today is so loopy."

• (The Evil Midnight Bomber) "So she says to me, do you wanna be a BAD boy? And I say YEAH baby YEAH. Surf's up space ponies. I'm makin' gravy -- Without the lumps. HAAA-ha-ha-ha."

• (Tick) "You know, Arthur, when evil is afoot, and you don't have any arms, you've gotta use your head. And when evil is ahead and you're behind, you've gotta do the legwork. But when you can't get a leg up, you gotta be hip. You gotta keep your chin up, and kick some- --"
• (Arthur) "Tick, we get the idea."

• (Tick) "I'm sure millions of viewers out there are just wondering what it's like to wear the tights of justice. Well, it's tingly and it's uncomfortable, but it gets the job done and, oh, the job of it."

• (Tick) "Yeah, I agree, falling in love with a supervillain is trouble with a capital troub."

• (Tick) "I'm betting that I'm just abnormal enough to survive."

• (Tick) "Yeah, well, don't count your weasels before they pop, dink."

• (Tick) "You know, gang, when you're a superhero, you never know where the day will take you. You may find yourself halfway around the world in the shark-infested waters of true-to-life living. Or you may find yourself going down to the store for a lozenge. You can't know, can you? No. You gotta ride that wave, you gotta suck that lozenge. 'Cause if you don't, who will?"

• (Tick) "Spoon."

• (Tick) "Special delivery. Oh, Arthur. The thrill of modern postism."

• (The Evil Midnight Bomber) "You'll never prove a thing copper, I'm just a part time electrician. I -- I -- I -- Bad is good, baby. Down with government."

• (Tick) "Let's hang ten for justice."

• (Tick) "We're sworn to protect The City. And we're just going to have to face it: that includes the sewers."

• (Tick) "Brace yourself while Corporate America tries to sell us its wretched things."

• (Tick) "Whoa-oh. Surprise hug from Mr. Freaky-Big."

• (Tick) "So once again, we find that evil of the past seeps into the present like salad dressing through cheap wax paper, mixing memory and desire."

• (Tick) "Well, once again, my friend, we find that science is a two-headed beast. One head is nice, it gives us aspirin and other modern conveniences -- But the other head of science is bad. Oh, beware the other head of science, Arthur. It bites."

• (Tick) "Destiny's powerful hand has made the bed of my future, and it's up to me to lie in it. I am destined to be a superhero. To right wrongs, and to pound two-fisted justice into the hearts of evildoers everywhere. And you don't fight destiny. No sir. And, you don't eat crackers in the bed of your future, or you get all -- scratchy."

• (Tick) "You know, though today was the worst day of my life, I learned many things. First, the world looks a lot different when you're six inches tall and covered with feathers. Second, two heads are definitely not better than one. And finally, you can lay eggs and still feel like a man."

• (Arthur) "Are you aware your roommate is a hideous monster from another dimension with evil plans for world domination?"
• (Thrakkorzog's roommate) "Listen, a good roommate relationship is based on a respect for privacy."

• (Tick) "It's a Yule tide."

• (Tick) "You just toasted the best BLT joint in the tristate area; prepare to pick up the tab."

• (Tick) "And, isn't sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you're good and crazy, oooh, oooh, oooh, the sky is the limit."

• (Tick) "I don't know the meaning of the word "surrender". I mean, I know it, I'm not dumb -- just not in this context."

• (Tick) "I hate broccoli, and yet, in a certain sense, I am broccoli."

• (Tick) "Honk if you love justice."

• (Tick) "You know, Arthur, it's really been quite a day. On the outside, oh, sure, we were pursued by Swiss Industrial Spies, trapped in the belly of a whale. But what really pursued us? Where were we really trapped? C'mon, Arthur. Get meta with me. What pursued us were our own obsessions. I'm good, you're evil. I'm a superhero, you're a sidekick. I'm a woman, you're a man. What does it all mean? Nothing. And where were we all trapped? I'll tell you where, Arthur. In the belly of Love; Love, Chum, Love."

• (Tick) "Oh, look, Arthur, it's a completely rehabilitated villain. She's comfortable with herself. Comfort, commitment, marriage, what do these things have in common? The letter 'C' except for marriage, and if people get all British whenever they get knocked on the head, what do British people get? I know -- comatose. Another 'C'."

• (Tick) "Don't make us bite you in hard-to-reach places."

• (Tick) "Hey. You in the pumps. I say to you; stop being bad."

• (Tick) "The human mind is a dangerous plaything, boys. When it's used for evil, watch out. But when it's used for good, then things are much nicer."

• (Tick) "Mucal invader, is there no end to your oozing?"

• (The Evil Midnight Bomber) "Yeah, baby, yeah. I'm the Midnight Bomber what bombs at midnight."

• (Tick) "You know, evil comes in many forms, be it a man-eating cow or Joseph Stalin. But you can't let the package hide the pudding. Evil is just plain bad. You don't cotton to it. You gotta smack it on the nose with the rolled up newspaper of goodness. Bad dog. Bad dog."

• (Tick) "And so, may Evil beware and may Good dress warmly and eat plenty of fresh vegetables."

• (Arthur) "I am through being your sidekick. I'm through being your pudgy comic relief."
• (Tick) "Arthur, stop it. You know I'm my own comic relief."

• (Tick) "Ah ha-ha, chess. The ancient contest of wits. Two opponents: mano a mano. Braino a braino. And look: magnets for ease of travel. You could play chess on the moon."

• (Tick) "Their Achilles' heel is the noogie."

• (Tick) "Breadmaster. Your culinary crime wave has crashed on the shores of justice."
• (Arthur) "Nice one."

• (Tick) "Well, folks, there you have it. A day in the life of a superhero and his sidekick. It's a very long day, the tights are uncomfortable; I think we covered that before. Map light, convenient and essential. A lot of working of villain motifs. Crime has a Bossa Nova beat. Leap before you look. Remember denouement. Other French words: inconvenient, nonessential -- oh -- I could go on and on -- But time's a-wasting and evil's out there making hand-crafted mischief for the swap meet of villainy. And you can't strike a good deal with evil. No matter how much you haggle. We don't need to look for a bargain; goodness is cheap because it's free, and free is as cheap as it gets. Cut. What was that pig about?"

• (Tick) "Check. Here's one sixty seven, one sixty six, one sixty five, one sixty- fire."
• (Tick) "To safety, Chum."
• (Tick) "Clear the area. Nobody panic."
• (Unnamed) "I'm not panicking, I'm exhibiting my new invention, Room-Temperature Fire."
• (Tick) "Huh?"
• (Unnamed) "Look. The marshmallows aren't even toasting. They remain a comfortable sixty-eight degrees."
• (Tick) "Egad, man. What's the point?"

• (Tick) "Mad Nanny, if you harm a hair on this greasy spoon's head, you'll have The Tick to answer to."

• (The Evil Midnight Bomber) "I'm cookin' with gas. I've gotta handful of vertebrae and a headful of mad. Yeah. That's your spinal cord. Baby. Dig it. Who's the man? I'm the man. I'm a bad man. How bad? Real bad. I'm a 12.0 on the 10.0 scale of badness."

• (Tick) "Wait a minute, you. I heard about people like you. Are you saying you don't believe in Santa Claus? And you call yourselves superheroes?"

• (Tick) "Bad man -- hit dog -- with street."

• (Arthur) "We'll grow old and die before we're even born."
• (Tick) "Wow, look at us."

• (Tick) "Villains always have antidotes. They're funny that way."

• (Tick) "I'm taking off the kid gloves, and putting on the very mad gloves."

• (Tick) "What was with the lobsters? I thought there were alligators in the sewers. I was ready for alligators."

• (Tick) "Yes, you know Little Wooden Boy, the worst sin in the world is disloyalty. You wouldn't lie to me, would you, Little Wooden Boy?"

• (Tick) "Yes, destiny has her hand on my back, and she's pushing."

• (Tick) "Cool. They got a blimp."

• (Unnamed) "Tick, this is your mind speaking."
• (Tick) "Oh. Hello."
• (Unnamed) "Sorry I haven't been around much lately but I'm easily distracted by shiny objects."

• (Thrakkorzog) "Cloning is a precise science. That's why I use the Clonerizer. It costs more, but you get what you pay for. My own recipe calls for a generous portion of Dr. Thrakk's Secret Cloning Sauce, a pinch of oregano, 'cause you know a little goes a long way, and last, but not least, your toenail. Mix well aaaaand voila."

• (Tick) "Not baked goods, Professor; baked bads."

• (Tick) "Don't ever try to swim against the mighty tide of justice."

• (Dr. Mung-Mung) "He weeps for he has but one small tongue with which to taste an entire world."

• (Tick) "Poppa's got a brand-new bag -- of fish."

• (Tick) "Nobody mucks around with the Tick's bodily membranes. Prepare for swift justice."

• (Tick) "I am mighty. I have a glow you cannot see. I have a heart as big as the moon. As warm as bathwater. We are superheroes, men, we don't have time to be charming. The boots of evil were made for walkin'. We're watching the big picture, friend. We know the score. We are a public service, not glamour boys. Not captains of industry. Keep your vulgar moneys. We are a justice sandwich. No toppings necessary. Living rooms of America, do you catch my drift? Do you dig?"

• (Unnamed) "Well, can you -- blow up the world?"
• (Tick) "Egad. I hope not. That's where I keep all my stuff."

• (Tick) "Yes, my slimy friend, once again slime does not pay. You can't just coat yourself with artificial mucous and slip through the long fingers of the law. It's wrong and it's gross."

• (Tick) "When a nice clean brain tumbles into the dirty street to lay among the discarded wrappers and spat-out gum wads of wickedness, you can't just pick it up and wash it off with soap and water; you have to think it clean from the inside out."

• (Arthur) "Good gosh, man. Didn't you know it was against the laws of nature? Clowns were never meant to be that; big."
• (Unnamed) "I know that -- now."

• (Tick) "You're not going crazy. You're going sane in a crazy world."

• (Tick) "Gravity is a harsh mistress."

• (Tick) "Arthur, you have no historical perspective. Science in those days worked in broad strokes. They got right to the point. Nowadays, it's all just molecule, molecule, molecule. Nothing ever happens big."

• (Charles) "See these insects? That's Coach Fussell's gym class. They made me wear shorts. So I turned 'em into earwigs."
• (Tick) "You know, Charles, sometimes, when I feel like a raving ding-dong, I find a nice bit of chamomile tea --"
• (Charles) "Shut up."

• (Tick) "You know -- I've heard the smarter you are, the more wrinkly your brain. And your guys' brains must be the wrinkliest. Oh, sure, ordinary Joes like me and Arthur here, maybe our brains are a little on the smooth side. But you don't have to be a genius to know that evil is bad. And good isn't."

• (Tick) "Eating kittens is just plain -- plain wrong. And no-one should do it, ever."

• (Tick) "Everybody was a baby once, Arthur. Oh, sure, maybe not today, or even yesterday. But once. Babies, chum: tiny, dimpled, fleshy mirrors of our us-ness, that we parents hurl into the future, like leathery footballs of hope. And you've got to get a good spiral on that baby, or evil will make an interception."

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