The Surreal Life Quotes

The Surreal Life is a TV show that was first aired in 2003 on The WB (2003-2004). The Surreal Life completed its run in 2006.

The Surreal Life lasted 6 seasons and 61 episodes. The Surreal Life is executive produced by Cris Abrego. The Surreal Life is created by Cris Abrego.

The Surreal Life is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Surreal Life is approx. 44 min. (2004) long. The Surreal Life is produced by 51 Minds Entertainment, Brass Ring Productions, Go Sick Productions, Mindless Entertainment, Renegade 82 Productions and distributed by USA: Debmar-Mercury (2006-). Spinoffs for this show include Strange Love.

The Surreal Life Quotes

• (Unnamed) "This is salty, like the pee of my sister."
• (Unnamed) "--"
• (Unnamed) "I'm just guessing."

• (Unnamed) "I'm walking around and I see Brigitte Neilsen with her big tits hanging around."
• (Unnamed) "Oh my God. I hope she doesn't think this is a surreal porno."

• (Unnamed) "This is just woman drama."

• (Unnamed) "We're in the middle of fucking America lady. Buy some fucking cookies."
• (Unnamed) "Oh God."

• (Unnamed) "Have you ever had an abdomen massage?"
• (Unnamed) "No. I think it's weird."
• (Unnamed) "First time for everything --"
• (Unnamed) "No. It's weird."
• (Unnamed) "Come on, just turn over."
• (Unnamed) "Weird."
• (Unnamed) "Please?"
• (Unnamed) "Weird."
• (Unnamed) "What about now?"
• (Unnamed) "Super weird."
• (Unnamed) "Don't you want a massage?"
• (Unnamed) "Super weird."
• (Unnamed) "Do you want a massage -- now?"
• (Unnamed) "No. You're a freak."
• (Unnamed) "Come on, Caprice."
• (Unnamed) "Freak."
• (Unnamed) "All right, I'm coming down."
• (Unnamed) "You're a freak."

• (Unnamed) "The last time I saw a cowboy with that many tattoos, I was at a Cher concert."

• (Unnamed) "Pain killers for everyone."

• (Unnamed) "So you don't have a temper?"
• (Unnamed) "Not at all."
• (Unnamed) "Well, I do."

• (Unnamed) "I thought something came out of her ass -- like a poopy fart."

• (Unnamed) "We're goin' on a farm, and we're gooooin' campin'."

• (Unnamed) "So Flav is planning on driving today."
• (Unnamed) "Do you have a life insurance?"

• (Unnamed) "Don't tell anyone that I eat this stuff, it'll ruin my image. Although, my friend Naomi Campbell loves to eat here."

• (Unnamed) "The script called for a kiss. But there was a lot of tongue involved."

• (Unnamed) "I've, pretty much, been naked for the whole show."

• (Unnamed) "What are you doing, breast feeding the dog?"

• (Unnamed) "I think it's time for us to get naked."

• (Unnamed) "So, I'm gonna throw a party for a bunch of my porn star friends."

• (Unnamed) "I am psychic, and whatever he's telling me, I know he's full of sh t."

• (Unnamed) "Let me be the first to tell you that Jose has a wonderful ass."

• (Unnamed) "Oh, yes. I think I'm going to have to victimize these ladies."

• (Unnamed) "You're not drilling hard enough."
• (Unnamed) "You know what, you said that to me last night -- and it's very insulting."

• (Unnamed) "Back the fuck up."
• (Unnamed) "I'm not; I'm not; I'm not backing up. I never said the F word."
• (Unnamed) "You let a crackhead play with a knife over here."
• (Unnamed) "Excuse me? You know what? Who's the crackhead here? It's just a joke."
• (Unnamed) "Careful."
• (Unnamed) "Like your wedding dress."
• (Unnamed) "Leave her alone."

• (Unnamed) "This is a plastic vagina. Get a real vagina."

• (Unnamed) "MiniMe is in the corner naked. Peeing."

• (Unnamed) "We live in a circus."

• (Unnamed) "Verne -- Verne -- I'm gonna leave water here."
• (Unnamed) "Okay."
• (Unnamed) "That was pretty uncomfortable -- it was kind of -- orgasmic moaning."

• (Unnamed) "Gurl, SEE YA."

• (Unnamed) "Omarosa comes walking out like she's some kind of supermodel. Omarosa looks like Rick James' Siamese twin."

• (Unnamed) "Get your wiener away."

• (Unnamed) "The first few minutes, I didn't put it together that it was Flavor Flake."

• (Unnamed) "You can go and sneak up on Brigitte cause she be having the knockers laying down on her chest, kid. For real."
• (Unnamed) "Uh oh, Brigitte, I see you, G."

• (Unnamed) "It's not like you're ugly or anything."
• (Unnamed) "Oh, thanks for tellin' me I ain't ugly."

• (Unnamed) "If you leave me here alone that's the end of my -- of me. I'm a chicken, Doctor. I have a big mouth that's all it is, but I'm a chicken."

• (Unnamed) "She didn't want to sleep with Brigitte Nielsen because she's a crazy bitch."

• (Unnamed) "Omarosa, the whore."

• (Unnamed) "Even if I did have the worst upset stomach, it would have been done in 5 minutes. I'm a professional."
• (Unnamed) "Your a professional crapper?"

• (Unnamed) "That is ridiculous."

• (Unnamed) "Brigitte is marching to the tune of her own drum, and that drummer has no clothes on."

• (Unnamed) "Trishelle, sweetie, I don't think you're grown up enough to have a life style; but I do."
• (Unnamed) "Whatever, bitch."

• (Unnamed) "The first impression I get when I walk into this house is Liberace with diarrhea, 1940."

• (Unnamed) "Charo:"
• (Unnamed) "I'm psychic. So, I know whatever he's telling, he's full of shit."

• (Unnamed) "Uh-uh, no spooning. Because spooning leads to forking."

• (Unnamed) "I'll wear this."
• (Unnamed) "That's gonna go over your wiener?"
• (Unnamed) "You sure you wanna go there?"
• (Unnamed) "If I'm gonna strip, I at least have to do it right."
• (Unnamed) "Jose is definitely not afraid to show his female side."

• (Unnamed) "I hear the guy, okay? I'm sorry for him, but I want -- I -- I want to be alive."

• (Unnamed) "The woman is just, ugh, I feel so bad for her children."

• (Unnamed) "Let me hear ya'll say 'Yeeeeeeaaaaaah, booooooyyyyyeeeee'."

• (Unnamed) "She looked like Mr. Ed on crack."

• (Unnamed) "I thought -- wow -- Jesus -- this is heaven."

• (Unnamed) "People alive don't understand me. How in the world a ghost is going to understand me?"
• (Dr. Larry Montz) "Because they communicate more telepathically than verbally, so they're not going to be worried about your accent."
• (Unnamed) "Oh."

• (Unnamed) "Crack whore."

• (Unnamed) "My, my, what steroids can do to a body. That man is hot."

• (Unnamed) "I am so happy to be leaving this house."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change, please fill in the form below.