The Stupids (film) Quotes

The Stupids (film) is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . The Stupids completed its run in 1970.

It features Leslie Belzberg as producer, Christopher Stone in charge of musical score, and Manfred Guthe as head of cinematography.

The Stupids (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of The Stupids (film) is 94 minutes long. The Stupids (film) is distributed by New Line Cinema.

The cast includes: Tom Arnold as Stanley Stupid, Bug Hall as Buster Stupid, Alex McKenna as Petunia Stupid, Jessica Lundy as Joan Stupid, Tom Arnold as Stanley, Christopher Lee as Evil Sender, Bob Keeshan as Charles Sender, and George Chiang as Chinese Waiter #2.

The Stupids (film) Quotes

Tom Arnold as Stanley Stupid

• (Unnamed) "Sir, did you know there's a hole in your gas tank."
• (Tom Arnold) "That's how you get the gas in there."

• (Tom Arnold) "Now that's a well-made shoe."

• (Unnamed) "Remember: throw your gum in the trash after you get done chewing it. I spend a huge amount of my time cleaning up gum."
• (Tom Arnold) "In the name of the Lloyd."

• (Tom Arnold) "Be on the look out for anything suspicious."
• (Bug Hall) "Dad, they're putting make-up on men in there."
• (Tom Arnold) "Bull's eye."

• (Unnamed) "Have you ever thought that you came from a strange or unusual family? Well, after you meat our guests, you might want to adjust your standards."
• (Unnamed) "I divorced my wife in order to marry her daughter."
• (Unnamed) "I married a siamese twin and had an affair with her sister."
• (Unnamed) "I've been engaged to three of my cousins."
• (Tom Arnold) "I'm, well, to tell you the truth, I'm my own Grandpa."
• (Unnamed) "You're your own Grandpa? Well, for some of us who don't understand this, can you explain?"
• (Tom Arnold) "Well, yes. It's quite simple, really."
• (Tom Arnold) "Many many years ago when I was twenty three/ I was married to a widow who was purdy as can be/ This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red/ My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed/"
• (Tom Arnold) "This made my dad my son in law and changed my very life/ For my daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife/ To complicate the matters even though it brought me joy I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy/"
• (Tom Arnold) "This little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad/ And so became my uncle though it made me very sad/ For if he was my uncle than it also makes him brother/ To the widow's grown-up daughter who of course if my stepmother/"
• (Tom Arnold) "My father's wife then had a son who kept him on the run/ And he became my grandchild 'cause he was my daughter's son/ My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue/ For although she is my wife she is my grandmother too/"
• (Tom Arnold) "If my wife is my grandmother than I am her grandchild/ And every time I think of this it nearly drives me wild/"
• (Unnamed) "has got to be the craziest thing I ever saw"
• (Tom Arnold) "As husband to my grandmother I am my own grandpa."

• (Tom Arnold) "I'm stuck, I'm caught, I'm trapped. Somebody help me out here."
• (Alex McKenna) "I'm cornered."
• (Tom Arnold) "That's it, I'm cornered. That's the word I'm looking for."

Christopher Lee as Evil Sender

• (Christopher Lee) ""If you still love me, Sally, tie a ribbon 'round the old oak tree". I'm afraid the only thing that's going to be hanging from that tree is you, "Bob"."

• (Unnamed) "This postal ploy of yours is the most evil caper of our age, Mr. Sender. How will you ever top yourself?"
• (Christopher Lee) "With a crime so unthinkable that no-one has ever dared to attempt to attempt it: to rob an entire nation of its garbage."
• (Unnamed) "The one resource no-one ever thinks to protect."
• (Christopher Lee) "Yet without it, every Hefty bag, every trash compactor, every rubbish bin in America will be useless. Desperate men will roam the streets with empty wastebaskets, panic and chaos will rule the land. The precious balance of civilization will be destroyed, and then the world will come begging for mercy -- to me."
• (Christopher Lee) "Your job is to kidnap anyone who discovers my diabolical plan, including children."

George Chiang as Chinese Waiter #2

• (George Chiang) "It's not our battle to fight, Johnson. We have enough trouble getting soy sauce into these tiny packets."

Jessica Lundy as Joan Stupid

• (Jessica Lundy) "Oh dear I left the garbage out over night."
• (Tom Arnold) "Oh no. Someone's stolen our garbage again."

• (Jessica Lundy) "Note to self: must buy hand held tape recorder. Then I will no longer be speaking into the garage door opener."

• (Jessica Lundy) "Stanley, you must beware of the Drive B."
• (Tom Arnold) "What's a Drive B?"
• (Jessica Lundy) "We don't know, but whatever error you make with it could be fatal."
• (Tom Arnold) "What are you doing, you darn bee? Can't you see I'm trying to drive? Oh, my God. The drive bee."

• (Jessica Lundy) "As your president of Stupidia, I appoint Stanley Stupid head of the army."
• (Jessica Lundy) "Your first assignment is to go onto that army base and rescue my husband."
• (Bug Hall) "And rescue our dad."
• (Tom Arnold) "I'm afraid those two will have to wait, we've got to get to a place called Warehouse 21."

• (Unnamed) "Hello, is this Mrs. Stupid?"
• (Jessica Lundy) "Yes."
• (Unnamed) "We have your children here, Ma'am."
• (Jessica Lundy) "Oh my God, it's true. The police have kidnapped my children."

Bug Hall as Buster Stupid

• (Bug Hall) "What if we formed our own army?"
• (Alex McKenna) "Then we'd have to form our own country."
• (Jessica Lundy) "We could call it Stupidia."

Alex McKenna as Petunia Stupid

• (Unnamed) "Some people think it's easy being a celebrity, but when they canceled my series "Malibu Beach Detective", I was just absolutely devastated."
• (Unnamed) "Well, I'm sure everyone is very sympathetic for you. You've put so much work into such a fine series to have it taken off the air."
• (Unnamed) "As an artist, I was truly crushed."
• (Unnamed) "It was the most awful, shocking, heartbreaking thing that's ever happened to me."
• (Alex McKenna) "Mom, I can't get this light switch to work."
• (Jessica Lundy) "Just a moment dear."
• (Jessica Lundy) "Now, let's take a look."
• (Unnamed) "Well, maybe you'd all be happier if there was no primetime television."
• (Unnamed) "What's going on?"
• (Unnamed) "You could spend every night reading books together."
• (Unnamed) "Well, my next guest is a world-class French chef, so stay tuned, everyone, and let's --"
• (Unnamed) "Give it to the fat guy."
• (Unnamed) "Fat? Fat? Moi, fat?"

Bob Keeshan as Charles Sender

• (Bob Keeshan) "No time to talk, I'm afraid. I'm taking over the heads of a dozen foreign countries."

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