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The Stoned Age Quotes

The Stoned Age is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . The Stoned Age ended in 1970.

It features David Heyman as producer.

The Stoned Age is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Stoned Age is 90 min. long. The Stoned Age is distributed by Trimark Pictures.

The cast includes: Bradford Tatum as Hubbs, Clifton Collins Jr. as Tack, Michael Kopelow as Joe, David Groh as Dad, Renee Griffin as Lanie, Richard Chaim as Mrs. Hankey, China Kantner as Jill Wajakawakawitz, Kevin Kilner as Officer Dean, and Richard Chaim as Norm Hankey.

The Stoned Age Quotes

Michael Kopelow as Joe

  • (Michael Kopelow) "It still ain't cool to just worm his chicks, man."
  • (Bradford Tatum) "What the f***, Joe. Is that f***in' eyeball lookin' at you again?"
  • (Michael Kopelow) "s*** man. I gotta get that chic's phone number. How do you spell Weijikowokawitz anyway?"
  • (Bradford Tatum) "What are you gonna f***ing call her man? That's the whole point. Shes from up north. You never have to see her again. You didnt even pork her, thank god."
  • (Michael Kopelow) "Hubbs, man. You just dont get it, do you? Man, I was digging on that chic."
  • (Bradford Tatum) "What did she have like a great personality? Ahahaha. You're thinking too much p*****."
  • (Michael Kopelow) "What about the bikini you bought her so you could watch her out by the pool and sport wood?"
  • (Michael Kopelow) "Nothing happened, man. She didn't even give me head."
  • (Michael Kopelow) "Technically you're his chicks."
  • (Unnamed) "It's a party."
  • (Michael Kopelow) "Who's it gonna be, just you chicks?"
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah. We could play -- submarine."
  • (Bradford Tatum) "Actually ladies we gotta get going."
  • (Unnamed) "Where you going?"
  • (Bradford Tatum) "Just cruisin' man."

Bradford Tatum as Hubbs

  • (Bradford Tatum) "f*** me?"
  • (Bradford Tatum) "Oh man -- Crump's brother is going to kick our ass bad. But it was worth it, eh dude? That chick was rad."
  • (Michael Kopelow) "Uh -- yeah, man."
  • (Bradford Tatum) "What? You blew it? You didn't go for it?"
  • (Bradford Tatum) "I should kick your ass myself."
  • (Bradford Tatum) "Hey Tack, we'll trade you this half-joint of burlsense bud for the chicks."
  • (Clifton Collins Jr.) "f***ing skank weed, man."
  • (Bradford Tatum) "Ok. How about we give you this entire bottle of the Schnappster, you tell us where the chicks are?"
  • (Clifton Collins Jr.) "That s*** makes me hork."
  • (Bradford Tatum) "Come on, this will get six fat chicks all William Holden-style f***ed up."
  • (Clifton Collins Jr.) "f*** that."
  • (Bradford Tatum) "Well, you can spend the night at home spanking the monkey with your granpappy but I'm getting laid."
  • (Bradford Tatum) "We got chicks. We're gonna f***'em doggy style and s*** on their parents' bed."
  • (Bradford Tatum) "You're going to get your ass kicked over some fatass chick man?"
  • (Bradford Tatum) "I'd kick his ass if it wasn't for his massive upper body stregnth."

Renee Griffin as Lanie

  • (Renee Griffin) "This is f***in' skank weed."
  • (Michael Kopelow) "You can still catch a buzz off of it."
  • (Renee Griffin) "Who's Tack?"
  • (Michael Kopelow) "Just some dude."
  • (Renee Griffin) "C'mon, it's our last day in LA, let's at least have some fun."
  • (China Kantner) "What's gonna be so fun, about watching those two burnouts get totally wasted and thrash my Dad's place?"
  • (Renee Griffin) "They're not gonna do that. I'll get 'em to take us somewhere or something."
  • (China Kantner) "Yeah, tell me about it. They're probably out there right now pissing in the ice tray."
  • (Renee Griffin) "Don't be so paranoid. They're not that lame."

China Kantner as Jill Wajakawakawitz

  • (China Kantner) "Who's Crump's brother?"
  • (Bradford Tatum) "He's just some dude."
  • (China Kantner) "Guy kinda reminds me of Mondo Man."
  • (Renee Griffin) "Yeah kind of."
  • (Michael Kopelow) "Who the f*** is Mondo Man?"
  • (China Kantner) "Oh, he's just some dude."

Clifton Collins Jr. as Tack

  • (Clifton Collins Jr.) "Bring on the bitches."
  • (Clifton Collins Jr.) "You'd rather watch The Dukes of Hazzard instead of getting laid?"

Kevin Kilner as Officer Dean

  • (Kevin Kilner) "You guys probably think I'm a real butthead. Listen, you think I didn't want to drink a bunch of beer and piss in somebody's pool when I was your age? Hell, they used to call me "Quick Dick" Dean."
  • (Unnamed) "More like "Limp Dick.""
  • (Kevin Kilner) "You kids probably think I'm a real butthead. You think I didn't want to sneak into some girl's house when I was your age? Hell -- they used to call me "Doggy Door" Dean. I was a good 2nd floor man too."
  • (Kevin Kilner) "You guys probably think I'm a real butthead. You think I didn't want to taste a beer when I was your age? Hell, they used to call me "Dixie Cup" Dean."
  • (Michael Kopelow) "Wow -- that's -- cool."

Richard Chaim as Norm Hankey

  • (Richard Chaim) "Tack, what are you doing here, man?"
  • (Clifton Collins Jr.) "Oh, f*** you, Snot Rag, let's book."
  • (Richard Chaim) "Don't call me that, all right? My last name's Hankey."
  • (Clifton Collins Jr.) "All right, Hankey. Don't have a spazz. Come on, bro, let's get us some poontang."

David Groh as Dad

  • (David Groh) "Where do you get your values? From that stinking heavy metal music you listen to day and night?"
  • (Michael Kopelow) "Yeah, that's it, man. It's all the music. You know everything is just fine until we just listen to a couple of heavy metal albums. Then we get all f***ed up."

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