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The Squid and the Whale Quotes

The Squid and the Whale is a television program that debuted in 1970 . The Squid and the Whale completed its run in 1970.

It features Wes Anderson as producer, Britta Phillips in charge of musical score, and Robert D. Yeoman as head of cinematography.

The Squid and the Whale is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Squid and the Whale is 81 minutes long. The Squid and the Whale is distributed by Samuel Goldwyn Films.

The cast includes: Jeff Daniels as Bernard Berkman, Owen Kline as Frank Berkman, Laura Linney as Joan Berkman, William Baldwin as Ivan, Jesse Eisenberg as Walt Berkman, Halley Feiffer as Sophie, Maryann Plunkett as Ms. Lemon, and Anna Paquin as Lili.

The Squid and the Whale Quotes

Laura Linney as Joan Berkman

  • (Laura Linney) "You're living with a twenty-year-old."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "It's none of your business, Joan."
  • (Laura Linney) "It's my business when you have our kids. It's confusing for them. Frank says Walt's in love with her."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "Walt has a girlfriend. f*** off, Joan. I don't ask about you and Ivan. Stay out of my life. I can't believe you'd talk to me like this. You left all those f***ing ticket stubs and letters lying around. You wanted me to know. It was f***ing torture, Joan. f***ING TORTURE."
  • (Laura Linney) "I'd appreciate it if you didn't -- tell him about things like Richard."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "My father told me you called him."
  • (Laura Linney) "I did, yeah."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "He said you, uh -- he said you were upset."
  • (Laura Linney) "Yeah. I wanted to -- I like him. You know that. I just wanted to say; I don't know. I just wanted to say hello."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "He called me right after. He said, "Bernie, I think you can save your marriage." I told him -- I didn't think there was anything else I could do. I did try everything."
  • (Laura Linney) "Bye, Bernard."
  • (Laura Linney) "You're early."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "Hi, Joan."
  • (Laura Linney) "Don't feed him the generic stuff."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "What?"
  • (Laura Linney) "Frank says you're feeding the cat generic food. Get Purina, it's what he likes."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "It's the same damn thing, Joan."
  • (Laura Linney) "OK. It's not, but --"
  • (Jeff Daniels) "He's my cat, too. Remember when he got stuck in the wall in New Hampshire and I rescued him? I know how to handle him."
  • (Laura Linney) "It was a radiator."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "What?"
  • (Laura Linney) "He got stuck in a radiator. You trimmed your beard."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "Yeah, it was starting to get a little feral. You look well."
  • (Laura Linney) "Yeah? Thanks."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "Things are good here. Teaching is going well. And I'm playing the best tennis of my life. Maybe that's an illusion, but -- it feels that way."

Jesse Eisenberg as Walt Berkman

  • (Jesse Eisenberg) "I shouldn't have broken up with Sophie."
  • (Laura Linney) "Why did you?"
  • (Jesse Eisenberg) "I thought I could do better."
  • (Laura Linney) "Better how?"
  • (Jesse Eisenberg) "I don't know."
  • (Jesse Eisenberg) "It's like -- we were pals then -- we'd do things together -- we'd look at the knight armor at the Met. The scary fish at the Natural History Museum. I was always afraid of the squid and whale fighting. I can only look at it with my hands in front of my face."

Jeff Daniels as Bernard Berkman

  • (Jeff Daniels) "You'll have to share the bathroom with the boys. They get the upstairs and I have my own."
  • (Anna Paquin) "That's all right, as long as Walt remembers to pull the seat down."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "Your mum and I, we're going to separate. I've got you tuesday, wednesday and every other thursday."
  • (Jesse Eisenberg) "And what about the cat?"
  • (Laura Linney) "The cat."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "We didn't discuss the cat."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "Hey; Watch it."
  • (Owen Kline) "Suck my dick, ass man --"
  • (Jeff Daniels) "Put me in your mouth."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "Joan, let me ask you something. All that work I did at the end of our marriage, making dinners, cleaning up, being more attentive. It never was going to make a difference, was it? You were leaving no matter what --"
  • (Laura Linney) "You never made a dinner."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "I made burgers that time you had pneumonia."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "What is it about high school, you read all the worst books by good writers."

Anna Paquin as Lili

  • (Anna Paquin) "Why did you stop?"
  • (Jeff Daniels) "I'm your teacher."
  • (Anna Paquin) "You know, I've always wondered what it'd be like to f*** you."

Owen Kline as Frank Berkman

  • (Owen Kline) "Across the park? Is that still Brooklyn?"
  • (Owen Kline) "Mom and me versus you and Dad."
  • (Owen Kline) "Mom's dating Ivan."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "Really? Ivan, back there, Ivan?"
  • (Owen Kline) "Yeah."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "Are you sure? Why didn't you say something? Why is your mother dating all these jocks? Very uninteresting men."
  • (Owen Kline) "Ivan is very interesting."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "Ivan's not a serious possibility for your mother."
  • (Owen Kline) "I think he is."
  • (Jeff Daniels) "I don't want to badmouth Ivan. But I don't know what Joan is thinking."
  • (Owen Kline) "I think Ivan --"
  • (Jeff Daniels) "Frank."

Halley Feiffer as Sophie

  • (Halley Feiffer) "My Father said you had a weak handshake, which is a sign of indecision."
  • (Jesse Eisenberg) "His hands are so huge. I couldn't get a good grip."
  • (Halley Feiffer) "Yeah. I mean, it's gross when he turns into the bug, but I love how matter of fact everything is."
  • (Jesse Eisenberg) "Yeah, it's very Kafkaesque."
  • (Halley Feiffer) "Cause it's written by Franz Kafka."
  • (Jesse Eisenberg) "Right. I mean, clearly."

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